Second Blooming

RTT: Nativity, Foot Odor, and Prurient

Oh yes it is! It's time for another Random Tuesday Thoughts!

 

 

 

I have finally mostly decorated the house for Christmas! Tree. Check. Door wreath. Check. Mantle. Check. 420 sad looking Christmas decorations handmade my my child. Check. It's looking very festive around here. Yesterday, while I was dragging the tree into the house and getting it up and decorating it all by myself while Jude and Jimmy both hung out in bed sick (grrrrr), Jude came in and asked me if I liked decorating Christmas. I said "Of course, it's one of my favorite things." He nodded thoughtfully, "Cause you don't seem to be enjoying it much." Ah, that would be because of the excessive cursing and sweating and complaining. Well, yes there's that. But I really do enjoy it. This year I decided to count how many Christmas tree ornaments I have, and it turns out to be 217. Which seems like a lot for a small tree. Is that nutty? How many do y'all have?

 

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I want to make one of these!

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I would like you all to help me with a terrible problem. Several months ago, I bought a pair of these...

 

 

Skechers Go Walks. THE MOST COMFORTABLE SHOES ON THE PLANET EARTH. Seriously. Like walking on a cloud. I adore them. And they're washable, which is crazy wonderful. Just toss 'em in the machine. Amazing. 

 

But now, suddenly, they have developed a terrible problem. They stink. Really stink. Like...some kind of rotten cheese has rotten in the rotting shoe. I mean, it's BAD. The other day I took them off in the car and when Jude got in he shouted "Whoa! Did you fart?!" Yes, fart feet. 

 

I wash them, I Febreze them. Nothing helps. I have websearched this, and while it seems to have happened to other Skechers Go Walk wearers, nobody has a remedy. Anybody have any ideas? Please? I don't want to throw them away!

 

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Since we moved into our house 11 years ago, I have suffered with the most terrible dishwasher on earth. This thing was a piece of crap when we moved in, and has only gone downhill. I know, I should have replaced it long ago, but something in me, something about being the child of parents who survived the Depression maybe, keeps me from getting rid of something until it has actually completely bit the dust. Example: I kept my old laptop until it literally fell apart - keys popping off, the screen came off TWICE. 

 

So finally, finally, the old dishwasher came to an end. It reached a point when I had to completely scrub the dishes before I put them in, and even then, they came out all spotty. So I took advantage of a Black Friday sale and bought this beauty...

 

So shiny and handsome.

 

I can't tell you how much I love him. He has changed my life. Who knew how far dishwasher technology had advanced in the last 20 years?! I mean, I don't even have to rinse. Just stick in those nasty dishes with grease and dried on food and he does his job. Sometimes I just sneak into the kitchen and stare at him lovingly. Ahhh!.

 

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Oh dear...

 

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The other night I had one of those long, convoluted, anxiety dreams. I honestly don't remember anything about it. But I woke up from it, at about 3 am, and was absolutely sure that I MUST REMEMBER the following phrase...and I was so sure that I even got my phone and wrote it down so I wouldn't forget...okay, here's the phrase..."prurient sealant". Yes, "prurient sealant". What the what? It was terribly important. Hmmm, let's see...

 

prurient - 

1. having, inclined to have, or characterized by lascivious or lustful thoughts, desires, etc.
2. causing lasciviousness or lust.
3. having a restless desire or longing.

sealant - 

1. a substance used for sealing, as sealing wax or adhesives.
2. any of various liquids, paints, chemicals, or soft substances that may be applied to a surface or circulated through a system of pipes or the like, drying to form a hard, watertight coating. 

Wow. The mind goes lots of places. Anybody want to venture a "prurient sealant" definition? 

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The following video is courtesy of Jude. He, who is now a full-fledged tween, thought all of you might think this is funny. He is a bit of a music snob and classic rock lover, and often lectures his friends on the merits of Led Zeppelin, and he thinks anything that makes fun of Taylor Swift is hilarious. Enjoy.

  

 

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Okey dokey, that's my random for today. Go visit Stacy and the other Random Tuesday Thoughts!

RTT: Endorphins, Rock Stars and Barilla

 

How's everybody doing out there? It is GORGEOUS here in the City of Angels - clear, cool, autumnal - puts me in my happy place. I'm all upbeat and bursting with energy. Of course, it could be the three cups of coffee I've consumed. Or perhaps it's...

 

Oh yes I did!

...ENDORPHINS. That's right, 3 miles, baby. My exercising is coming along well. Very soon I will be able to fit into my skinny jeans (which used to be my fat jeans, before I outgrew even them). Assuming, of course, that I don't get derailed by Thanksgiving. And Christmas. Which, of course, I will. Sigh...

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Last week, I took Jude on his first "seeing a band in a club" experience. Which sounds much more radical than it was. Remember his cooler, older friend, Lucas? The one we took to the Paul McCartney concert? Well, Lucas is in a band. A real band. Or at least as real a band as a group of 14-year olds can form. They're totally old school rock and roll - lots of Zeppelin and blues rock. They played a real club, in a fairly iffy LA neighborhood, but the crowd was all kids. Very fun. I kept having flashbacks to my youth, except everybody at the club was drinking bottled water and nobody was smoking! These kids really blew us away - little rock stars!

 

Bang

Here we are. You can see us if you squint...

 

It was very dark.

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You know that you have moved on to a new stage of your life when Buck a Box on Barilla is the most exciting thing that happens to you all week...

 

I stocked up. Which inspired me to come up with the following recipe...

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I have been fairly obsessed with kale lately. Yeah, I know. Anyway, I've also been trying to minimize our meat eating, so have been coming up with lots of vegetarian meals. I threw this together last night, and damn if it wasn't excellent. The proportions are rough, as I just kind of tossed things together...

Pasta with Butternut Squash, Kale and Walnuts

2 tbsp. olive oil

2 tbsp. butter

2 cups butternut squash, peeled and cubed into 1/2 inch dice (I bought a bag of pre-peeled because I'm lazy)

4 cups kale, chopped

1 large clove garlic, minced

1 cup walnuts (halves and pieces)

3/4 lb. pasta (I used Cellentani, which is like Fusilli but more interesting)

Parmesan cheese - tons

salt and freshly ground black pepper

Get the water boiling. When it's ready, add the pasta and cook according to the box. 

In the meantime, add olive oil and butter to large, heavy saucepan. Heat over low heat. Add squash and saute until softened. Add garlic for about 30 seconds, stirring. Add kale and stir well. Saute until softened. Add walnuts and heat through. Stir a lot.

When the pasta is cooked, drain well and add to the pot of squash/kale/walnuts. Toss well. Salt and pepper to taste. Toss with TONS of Parmesan.

YUM.

I have no idea what the nutritional content on this recipe is, but I'm thinking it's HIGH in nutrition.

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Hey, can y'all do me a favor? My Subaru commercial ran for a while, but now it's just on "Hold". Can you let me know if you see it? And tell me what channel you're watching and what time of day? It would be much appreciated. I'm the mom who wishes she had girls...

 

 

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Alrighty. Happy Tuesday. Go visit Stacy and the others!

 

RTT: DC Confusion, Action Pants and Donut Burger

It's BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

After what seems like foreeeeeeever, Stacy is finally back with Random Tuesday Thoughts. Hurray! It's been so long that my favorites folder is jampacked with randomness.  I have gone through it and weeded out everything that is painfully out of date (funny Santa pictures, hysterical Valentine's stories - thought I might keep the snowman vagina). Let's see, what do we have...(rubbing my hands together like a greedy miser)...lovely. And so without further ado, welcome back to Random Tuesday Thoughts!...

 

 

Is anybody else having what I think of as Washington-Based TV Series Confusion Syndrome? I'm now watching Scandal, House of Cards, NCIS, Bones and this new series Crisis, and keep getting the stories mixed up. I was watching Scandal, and when they mentioned the Vice President, I though they were talking about Frank from House of Cards before realizing that they meant that lady who had killed her husband. And on House of Cards, they mentioned the White House Chief of Staff, and I thought for a second that they meant Cyrus from Scandal. And when they find a skeleton on NCIS I always think they should take it to Bones at The Jeffersonian for examination. It's very frustrating. Am I the only one having this issue?

 

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What's a RTT without some funny cats? First we had Dog Shaming, now...Cat Shaming...

Love it when that happens.

I don't really blame him.

 

I would find this unnerving.

Gotta love those wacky cats.

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I really, REALLY don't want to know what the Snack Sack is.

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I let my child eat this...

Jude, quite excited about his Donut Burger.

Umami Burger, a local SoCal chain of restaurants that have, truly, the best hamburgers on the planet, and I mean that sincerely, I kid you not, recently offered for a limited time only, the Voltaggio Monte Cristo Burger. Michael Voltaggio, of Top Chef fame, invented this decadent, evil, brilliant combination of savory and sweet. The beef patty was smothered in Gruyere fondue and prosciutto and sandwiched between a vanilla custard-soaked bun, which had been deep-fried and dusted with powdered sugar, and served with a side of maple syrup. It was...amazing. I have never seen my child react to any food as enthusiastically. He practically inhaled the thing. Luckily, Umami has taken them off the menu for now, but the kid is praying that they return soon!

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I'm dangerously close to needing to know these.

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And speaking of dangerously close to to being old, today's my birthday. My big plans are to get a much-needed manicure/pedicure, then write for the rest of the day. That's it. Not too exciting, I guess, but it's exactly what I want.

So I'm gonna go relax my rapidly-aging body. You should head over and visit Stacy and the other random thinkers. I am fairly positive that it is finally time that she stop calling herself the Random Rebel, and assume the position of Random TT leader. So while you're there, you might leave her a comment suggesting this. Maybe I'll start a movement.

Oh wait! I almost forgot...

 

The promised snowman vagina!

 

Happy Tuesday!

RTT: Cumberbatch, Tribes and Poop Study

Good Lord, could it really be a MONTH since I've written a Random Tuesday Thoughts? Please forgive me, the whole holiday thing derailed me from my usual schedule. Let's see what I have rattling around my brain...

 

 

Okay, I realize that I should have shared this BEFORE Christmas, but I can't resist. 17 Santa Claus Photos That Will Make Your Skin Crawl. And they do. Some of the most frightening...

 

Ewwww...

Eeeeek!

Strangely disturbing.

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For all you Benedict Cumberbatch fans. La, la, la, la, baby...

 

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On a more serious note...

Stunning Portraits of the World's Remotest Tribes Before They Pass Away

Stunning is right. These pictures absolutely blow me away! Here are some favorites, but you absolutely MUST click the link, there are 46 pictures and they're all breathtaking.

 

The Karo, Ethiopia

 

The Maori, New Zealand

 

Mongolia

Papua New Guinea

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This is the best idea! MeetWays. It's a website that will calculate the halfway point between two addresses, and tell you what's there. For example, if my in-laws in New York wanted to meet us halfway between their house and ours, we would all end up in Lincoln, Nebraska, and have a nice meal at Merle's Food and Drink. I think I'd go for the Chef's Special - Grilled Walleye.

Or more realistically...if my friend Melissa and I wanted to meet halfway between our houses, we could go to Home Restaurant on Hillhurst, which is kind of a great place. Melissa, you up for lunch?

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From the "Man, do I love science" files...

According to this article, dogs go poop in alignment with the Earth's magnetic field. Not just that, but they like to do their business on a north/south axis, rather than east/west. I kid you not. They did a 2 year study, using 70 dogs and observing 1893 poops and 5582 pees. Could you imagine being that guy and trying to explain to people what you do for a living? Anyway, why do they do this? Nobody knows. And I was about to say "nobody cares", but clearly somebody does, and the article says " the findings open 'new horizons' for further research in organisms' use of magnetic fields for direction, as well as magnetic fields produced by living organisms." So there's that.

I have to admit that since reading this, I've been watching Fancy do her business, and sure enough...north/south. It's true. Got to love science.

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Well that's the randomness for today. Please visit Stacy and the other Random Tuesday Thought participants!

 

RTT: Hitler, Gekkering and Mashed Potatoes

Happy Tuesday! I hope you all had a warm and fuzzy Thanksgiving! Ours was particularly stress-free and delicious. It was a terrific small gathering of old friends and family. The food came out very well, if I do say so myself. And the children are now all finally old enough to entertain themselves and allow the adults to eat, drink and be merry.

And though I'm still trying to get back into the swing of the whole non-vacation/pre-Christmas thing, I do have a few Random Tuesday Thoughts.

 

 

Fascinating...

Who Said It, Adolf Hitler or Taylor Swift?

 

It's a site where you can take a quiz (I love them quizes) in which you get to decide who said it, Adolf or Taylor? You'll find such words of wisdom as "Hate is more lasting than dislike." But who said it? You'll have to go take the quiz and find out. I scored a 6 out of 10 - it's much harder than you'd think.

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Jude found this video. It's the answer to the ridiculous song/question "What Does the Fox Say?" Turns out, foxes gekker. Who'd a thunk?

 

 

 

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I think this is something to keep in mind when planning teacher holiday gifts...

 

 

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 I have to say, the mashed potatoes I made this year for Thanksgiving were the best I've ever eaten. Really. I swear. It sounds super simple, but the combination of the buttermilk and the browned butter is amazingly rich. I suggest that you copy this out and put it in your Save For Next Year file...

Browned Butter Mashed Potatoes

3/4 cup butter

4 lbs potatoes, peeled and cut into 2-inch pieces

1 tbsp. salt, divided

3/4 cup buttermilk

1/2 cup milk

1/4 tsp. pepper

Cook butter in a 2-qt. heavy saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly, about 6 to  8 minutes, or just until butter begins to turn golden brown. Immediately remove from heat and pour into a small bowl (butter will continue to darken if left in the saucepan). Remove and reserve 2 tbsp. browned butter.

Bring potatoes, 2 tsp. salt and water to cover to a boil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Boil 20 minutes, or until tender. Drain. Reduce heat to low. Return potatoes to pan, and cook, stirring occasionally for 3 to 5 minutes or until potatoes are dry.

Mash potatoes with a potato masher. Stir in remaining browned butter, buttermilk, milk, pepper, and remaining 1 tsp. salt, stirring until blended.

Place in a lightly greased 2 1/2 qut. ovenproof serving dish. If you are serving immediately, drizzle with reserved browned butter. Serve. If making ahead (which I did), hold off on the reserved brown butter. You can cover and chill up to 2 days. Let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes, then bake, uncovered at 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Warm up the reserved brown butter and drizzle over the baked potatoes.

So damned decadently yummy that you won't be able to stand it.

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This is damned silly, but it made me giggle...

Unfortunate Name Combinations

You know how when you first date a guy you think about what your name would be if you married him? If your name would sound good together with his? Well, check out these unfortunate pairings. Some of the most dreadful...

 

Oh no.

 

Yikes.

 

Tragic.

 That's the randomness for today. Go visit Stacy and the others.

 

RTT: Sexy Cats, Wine Rack and the Tooth Fairy

Busy, busy, busy. I'm in full Thanksgiving prep mode. Cleaning, polishing, ironing, baking, prepping, brining. Busy, busy, busy. I do, however, have time to throw out some Random Tuesday Thoughts...

 

 

This made me giggle far more than I should have...Sexy Men and Their Cat Twins.

Some of my favorites...

I love a sexy cat.

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I want to win this!

The big winner gets...

• A trip for two to London.
• A private tour of Highclere Castle.
• Visit to the set of Downton Abbey.
• $1000 World Market gift card.

I'm feeling lucky!! Who wants to come to London with me?

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Oh my God. This may be the best invention ever...

Nice rack.

The Wine Rack!! It's a bra flask that you fill with wine! It holds a full bottle of wine, and gives you a Double-D cup! They advertise it as a way to smuggle booze into a concert or sporting event, so you don't have to pay for the overpriced cocktails. But I'm thinking that mommies could make much better use of it. Playdates at the park! Parent Board meetings! Cub Scout hikes! My mind spins with ideas!

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I can't decide if this is offensive or brilliant. All I know is that it must have been a hysterical commercial shoot! Jingle balls!

 

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Okay, I know that some people go for this stuff. But really. Really? Do we need this? I'm so sorry for the children who are subjected to this. And the dogs.

Pajamagram Family Pajama Sets

Yes, matching family Christmas pajamas. I understand the urge to buy the kids matching PJs, but Mom and Dad too? And the dog? And the cat? I just...no. It's...no.

 

DO NOT DO THIS TO YOUR FAMILY!

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PLEASE watch this video! I adore it on so many levels that I'm not even going to go into it. Just watch. It's brilliant.

 

 

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That's all for today's Random Tuesday Thoughts. Go see Stacy!

Now get back to cooking that turkey!

 

RTT: Offensive, OCD and Kama Sutra

Give me an R! Give me an A! Give me an N! Give me a...oh never mind. Welcome to Random Tuesday Thoughts.

 

 

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I kind of adore this site - 17 Most Offensive Adverts That Would Be Banned Today. 17 of the most horribly, wonderfully, awfully offensive print ads ever published, from back in the day when they used to get away with that kind of thing. Sexism, racism, just general inappropriateness, it's got it all. Some of the most cringeworthy...

 

Wow.

 

The earlier the better, I say.

I'd watch out if I were you.

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Yesterday, Jude and I drove through Chinatown and Jude asked what I thought was a rather smart question..."If there's a Chinatown in America, is there an Americatown in China?" So I posed this question on Facebook, and along with quite a few rather funny and sarcastic comments, someone told me about this place, which I found pretty hysterical...

 

Central Perk Cafe in Shanghai - a replica of the cafe in "Friends"!

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I understand this far too well.

 

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I'm afraid that an enormous number of us identify with this site - The Married Kama Sutra. Some of my favorite Married Kama Sutra positions that are oh-so familiar...

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Best safety video EVER! I would stand up and applaud if I saw this on a flight!

 

 

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Okay people, head over to Stacy's for more randomness!

 

RTT: Real Estate, Puddling and Dora

Welcome to yet another Random Tuesday Thoughts.

 

 

This cracked me up - Terrible Real Estate Agent Photographs. It's a site dedicated to the most poorly conceived realtor pictures on the web. Lots of "huh?" shots. Anyone who's recently bought or sold a home will love it. Some faves...

 

Love the unintentional selfie.

Wind storm maybe?

I'm not sure what is more horrifying, the giant passed out Mickey on the bed or the "Drinkin' with my B#$%" banner.

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Okay, this might piss off all the Scandal fans out there, but I've gotta say it...

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I had started a Netflix Scandal binge. I proceeded to watch every episode of the last two seasons, and then found this seasons shows on On Demand and blew through those too, because it's just that damned addicting. I am now fully caught up.

I am hereby OVER the whole Olivia/Fitz romance! DROP HIM, woman! You are BETTER than that! I know he keeps saying you're the "love of his life" and all that nonsense, but PLEASE. He's a lying, cheating, MURDERER, who also happens to be the leader of the free world. Olivia started the series as this brilliant, kick-ass super-woman, but now, every time the President says "Come here." she melts into a little puddle of stupidity.

 

Olivia: puddling

 

And they keep talking about Fitz like he's the greatest leader in history, saying he's the "real deal", but we don't see that at ALL on the show. He makes boneheaded mistake after boneheaded mistake and goes through scandal after scandal, and we never see him actually LEADING anything. Grrr.

Of course this doesn't mean I'll stop watching it, because I'm still completely addicted. And I love Olivia and her whole little band of gladiators. I'd just like to see Fitz impeached. Both Olivia and Melly would make better presidents.

Do y'all agree or not? Go ahead and give it to me, I can take it.

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For any of you who would like to better understand us Southerners, here are 13 Southern Sayings That the Rest of America Won't Understand. I must confess that I never knew the original derivation of "madder than a wet hen" or ever even heard the phrase "I'm finer than a frog hair split four ways" so we could all find it quite educational. And their bonus explanation of the Southern woman's usage of "bless your heart" is quite accurate. If you don't understand it, then, well, bless your heart.

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This one's for my m-i-l, Mommy!

 

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Jude and I both LOVED this! Brilliant! I desperately wish this was a real movie. I'd go.

 

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That's it for today. Go visit Stacy and the others!

RTT: Neighbors, Viagra and Lou

I'm afraid this is going to be a short Random Tuesday Thoughts this week. I'm in the middle of a project, which has taken over our home and my life. I'll give you a hint...

Six yards of fabric, a yard and a half of 1/2 inch foam, a yard of 1-inch elastic, 10 rubber bathtub mats and two cans of black Silly String. Is it the Unconventional Materials Challenge on Project Runway? Nah...it's just Halloween costume construction week here at Second Blooming. I promise to share next week. Wish me luck. In the meantime...

 

 

This is hysterical - 22  Outstanding Neighbour Complaint Notes. I desperately wish I had been this witty and bold back when I used to live in an apartment complex. These should definitely be filed away for future use. Some faves...

 

Ha!

Oh yes.

Very nicely done.

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The other day, I was flipping channels and happened upon an ad for the Baby Alive Real Surprises Doll. The ad promised that Baby Alive was just like a real baby - you can feed her and diaper her and that she leaves you "surprises" and that Baby Alive food packet and diaper refills were sold separately. Of course. But I thought "No, no, that baby doll does not really poo herself, does she?" Well...I did my research and found this on YouTube. Eeewww.

 

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I'm fairly amused that I found this as amusing as I did...

 

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That's all I've got for today. I will leave you with a little something from the late, great Lou Reed. RIP Lou.

 

Don't leave without visiting Stacy and the other randomers.

 

RTT: Laser Tag, Astrology Songs and Coven

Random Tuesday...

 

 

This actually made me chortle out loud - 17 Reasons Why the Kids Don't Like Facebook Anymore. Some favorites...

 

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Oh my God, have y'all ever played Laser Tag? Jude's gone to several birthday parties at a Laser Tag place in the valley, but I've always just dropped him off, or waited while he played. But on Saturday, the mom in charge asked me if I'd stay and play with the kids, and I'm telling you, it was SO STINKING FUN! It was actually a birthday party for Jude's friend's little sister, but his mom asked a few boys along to entertain the birthday girl's brother. So we split up into three laser tag teams - 8 8-year old girls on one team, 4 10-year old boys on one team and the mom and me on the third. And we two moms came in second place to the boys! We TOOK DOWN those little girls, oh yeah! Running through these little caves in the dark, shooting children! Okay, maybe I got a tiny bit too competitive. But I am dying to go again! Who's in?

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I have no words. Just...just...watch it.

 

 I'm a p-p-p-Pisces. What's your sign?

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I'm pretty excited about American Horror Story Coven. I know that some people find the whole AHS series too bloody and gory, but I must admit I love that stuff! And this season the cast is almost all women  - Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Frances Conroy, Angela Bassett. Three cheers for a cast filled with hot post-menopausal women!!!!

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That's all the randomness for this week. Go visit Stacy for more random thinking!