Second Blooming

Monday Minute: Jean-Luc, Bobby and Me

Kmama is co-hosting the Monday Minute today along with our usual fabulous host,  Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality. So please be neighborly and drop by both of their joints.

The Monday Minute questions for today are...

Drumroll....

1. Who is your "what-if" person? ("what-if" as in "what if I'd married him instead?") - Oh....no. NO, no, no, no, NO. If I were to share my "what-if" person, I would get into SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOO much trouble from SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many people that I'm just NOT gonna go there. Sorry. So how about a Fantasy What-If? Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise.
   Yes, what if I was Mrs. Captain Jean-Luc Picard? We all know that it's lonely out in space (at least that's what Elton John says in Rocket Man), and Captain Picard could certainly use a strong, passionate, intelligent woman to be his rock, his shoulder to cry on, the wind beneath his wings. So to speak. I could be that woman, I could understand the stress of command, the excitement/fear of combat, the exhilaration of exploration. And anyway, bald turns me on.
2. What is your nickname? I have no nickname. Sometimes men and/or lesbians try to call me "Gretch". Which is so attractive. And leads to Gretch the Wretch. Or we could go with Stretchen Gretchen or Retchen Gretchen. Equally attractive. So...no nickname. Though my sweet Daddy used to call me Pinkle. Not sure why.
3. If you could choose how you die, how would you like to die? Many years ago, a friend of mine told me that if she could choose her own death, she would want to be the victim of a political assassination. Isn't that impressive? It was so loaded with drama! First of all, she'd have to be in some sort of position of authority, somehow making a difference in changing the world. She envisioned herself giving a powerful, moving speech, being taken out by an assassin's rifle, then dying in the arms of her many followers while thousands mourned. I'm afraid that my choice would be a bit more banal. I would like to die like Gaynell. Gaynell was Mama's best friend in her later years. When Mama died, Gaynell took a special motherly interest in me, and always called me and worried after me. When Gaynell was in her late 80's, she had a massive and debilitating stroke. She chose not to go on life support, but to just accept what she saw as God's will and go when it was her time. Her family brought her home, dressed her in her prettiest pink nightgown, put her in her bed, surrounded her with all her favorite things - classical music, flowers, pictures of family, scented candles, and waited for her to die. It took about a week. Every day, all of her friends came by and told her goodbye. Through an amazing and fortuitous coincidence (well, I think it was through the hand of God), I was in Austin that week, and was able to go by and say goodbye to her. We talked about how much we both missed Mama, and she told me she'd see her soon. We both cried and we said goodbye. She died softly in her sleep about three days later, surrounded by her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. THAT'S the way to go.
4. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have picked? All my childhood, I hated my name. Too odd, too hard to spell, too foreign. You have to remember that this was at a time when everybody wanted to be named Susan or Linda. My parents told me that they almost named me Julie, but changed their minds. Which I was okay with until Bobby Sherman came out with "Julie, Do You Love Me?"...
   
   
   Bobby Sherman...sigh...And I spent many nights crying myself to sleep over the unjust tragedy that was "Gretchen". Because no one would EVER right a song about Gretchen. But now I like it. People usually remember it. Would I have named myself Gretchen? Nah, but I'm not really sure what I'd have chosen. In my childhood secret fantasy life, I used to think of myself as "Carly". Which I thought was sporty a sexy and sophisticated and confident. So, I guess that would be what I'd have named myself. Wait? I don't think there's a "Carly" song either. Well, I'll get back to you . Any ideas?
5. Who were you named after or for what reason did your parents choose your name? According to Mama, Daddy came up with it. And it wasn't until after she fell in love with the name that he admitted that he'd had an old girlfriend named Gretchen. Hah! So I guess I was kind of named after Daddy's old girlfriend. But since Gretchen is German for Margaret, I like to think that I was named after my precious Aunt Margaret.

Alright, that's it for Monday. Run over and say hi to Ian.

Monday Monkey Minute

MISSION: MONKEY

<center><a href="http://www.mypixiedreams.com" target="_blank" title="DDoR"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_S2lMp3fsILs/S-E5CPwELpI/AAAAAAAAAX4/qyZJ_cwOXvs/s200/pixieprayers.png" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a></center>

The Monday Minute is a little different this week. Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality has turned into a knight in shining armor to help his blogger friend Michelle of Momma's Pixie Dreams, whose precious 16 month old daughter, Monkey, has been diagnosed with ganglioneuroblastoma, a form of cancer. It's every mother's worst nightmare.

Not only has he set up a Paypal account to collect donations to help Michelle's family, but he is organizing a fantabulous raffle, which fellow bloggers are contributing to. PLEASE visit Ian to find out what you can do - buy your raffle tickets, donate an item to the raffle, and check out a list of the items donated thusfar. It's truly impressive.

Have you done it? No?

Okay, I can wait....

Done? Impressive, right? Thank you for your support!

That done, let's head over to Ian's Monday Minute for today...

1. Have you ever peed in the shower/bath/pool? I'd venture to say that the shower is my FAVORITE place to pee. I have, however, had a lifelong fear of peeing in the pool. My daddy's best friend, Herbert (who I loved and adored), used to work for the health department. He once told his grandkids and me that the health department had developed a chemical which they put in all pools, which would turn your pee BLUE. This scared the pee out of me (irony intended). It wasn't until years later that I realized that he had made this up. However, I think of it every time I'm swimming because...you never know.
2. What is your biggest pet peeve? Tardiness. Hate, hate, hate it. So if I'm ever late to anything, there's no need to tell me, because I KNOW, and I have a DAMNED good reason.
3. What's the story behind your blog title? When I had Jude (at age 42!), I entered into a completely new phase of my life. My priorities changed. My lifestyle changed. But I felt like it was something new and improved. And when I found the above quote from Agatha Christie, it touched me, and I identified with it profoundly. I feel that I truly am in my second blooming.
4. What is your definition of success? Man, this is one of those "It's a Wonderful Life" things, isn't it? How do you measure a person's success? Let's see... Feeling at peace with myself and with God. Feeling that I haven't wasted the talents that God gave me. Feeling that I've done my very best in raising this son whom God has entrusted to me. That just got all heavy, didn't it. Sorry.
5. If you were famous, what would you want to be famous for? Well, I used to want to be famous as an actress. Now? I'd rather be a famous writer. Wow, that's weird to say.

Okay, that was quick and easy, wasn't it? Please visit Ian and give to Monkey's cause!

Monday Minute: Cadavers, Drunkenness and Regret

The Monday Minute was so much fun last week, that I've decided to go for it again. Well also, I've been camping with Jude's Cub Scout Pack again this weekend, and I'm so exhausted and sunburned that I can't think of anything else to do. More on the Cub Scouts at some later date. So Ian at The Daily Dose of Reality has kindly sent me his Monday Minute list...

1 - How much would you have to be paid to eat a human cadaver's finger?

There is no amount of money on the Planet Earth that would convince me to eat a human cadaver finger. I can only conceive of two circumstances under which I would ingest human flesh - a) If I were in some sort of Donneresque situation, and eating the finger of another, already deceased, party member was the only way I could survive. Though there's probably not a lot of meat on a finger, and a chunk of thigh would be heartier. b) If a crazed criminal threatened to end the life of my child if I didn't eat a human finger. Why, exactly, he/she would choose to do this, I can't imagine. Hopefully, the finger will come with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

2 - Describe the worst physical fight you've ever been in.

Only once in my life have I either hit or been hit by another person. I was about 17, and my mother and I got into a huge argument about something or other. I was going through a particularly ugly teen-bitch-on-wheels phase, and I was certain that Mama was THE stupidest woman in the world. At the height of the argument, I screamed at her that she was "A BITCH". At which point, Mama hauled off and slapped me across the face. We both stopped, stunned, and stared at each other in disbelief. We then both started to sob uncontrollably, hug, and say "I'm sorry" over and over. Now that I'm older, and understand parenting, I can't say I blame her. I'm sure I deserved it.

3 - Name one song that if you never heard it ever again, you'd be thrilled.

Listen if you dare...

4 - Describe the "drunkest" situation you've ever been in.

It was Jimmy's 40th birthday, and I threw him a huge blowout bash. Somehow, the party got a wee big out of control. It all started out rather elegantly, but quickly devolved. We had crazily invited every person we knew in the city, but never actually kept a head count of who was or wasn't coming (this was before the dawn of the Evite.). Then, Jimmy started inviting every random stranger he ran into. The place was PACKED, wall to wall drunken people. Eventually, the police showed up to quiet us down. Meanwhile, I kept being lured into the bathroom by my friend Johnny, who had a "special private" bottle of tequila. I'm not exactly sure how many trips to the bathroom I took with Johnny, but I'm thinking at least 10. Then, as the evening went on, I decided to make a giant batch of sangria, which I placed in a punch bowl on the coffee table, and handed out straws. We all just gathered around it and slurped. At some point in the evening, according to witnesses, I announced that I was going to retire to the bathtub, and invited anyone who cared to, to join me. Luckily for me and my marriage, no one took me up on the offer. I proceeded to relax, naked and drunk off my ass in a bubble bath for several hours, while the party raged around me. Periodically, someone would come in to check on me to make sure I hadn't drowned. I think that I dozed on and off while in the tub, but my memories of the event aren't clear. I also believe that at some point I moved from the bathtub to the toilet, vomited, then got back in the bathtub. The next day wasn't pretty. Neither was the condition of our house.

5 - What's your biggest regret?

Wow. That's tough. I hate regrets. I really genuinely try to forget mistakes I've made in the past, and move on. To not consider them mistakes, but just choices that led me to where I am. That said, I guess my biggest regret would be not being patient and loving enough with my mother. Our mother/daughter relationship was probably, in many ways, pretty typical. We loved each other deeply, but also fought like cats and dogs (see above). The problem was that we were probably too much alike. But I, because I so desperately wanted to declare my independence, was often impatient with her, didn't take enough time for her, didn't share with her. It wasn't really until after Daddy died, and we were all that we each had, that we finally started to have a loving, respectful adult relationship. And then she died. Now that I'm of a certain age, and finally have a child of my own, I love and respect her so much, and so very much admire all the things she did, what a wonderful mother she was, and how far she came in her life. And I miss her tremendously, and dearly wish I could have told her this. I do however, believe that she knows it, and that she's always with me. Let this be a cautionary tale.

Alright, that's Monday. Head over to Ian's for other takes on these same 5 questions. I'm going to go drink a glass of wine and soak my feet.