Second Blooming

Daring

I have never been a daredevil.

I hate heights, hate to drive fast. I would rather stick burning coals into my eyes than jump from a freaking airplane. That would be the last thing on my bucket list. Sure, I went through that brief rock climbing phase, but that was more of a face-your-fears kind of thing than a go-for-it kind of thing.

So where did my kid come from? Jude is a total daredevil. Citius, Altius, Fortius. That's him. (And that's faster, higher, stronger to any of you not versed in Latin). Not that he's foolish. He's very serious about wearing helmets and protective gear. But any opportunity to go faster than anybody else, he's in. That's why he's such a roller coaster freak. I am greatly relieved that we don't live in the mountains, or the kid would absolutely be a snow boarder. Shawn White is one of his heroes.

We were both glued to the tube during the Winter Olympics this year. And while I love the more subtle, artistic sports like figure skating and ski jumping, Jude obsesses over the speed events - luge, bobsled, skeleton. During the Olympic broadcasts, NBC kept asking us to go to NBCgo.com to check out opportunities to experience winter sports in our area., so I clicked around to see what they had. In my search for sports that Jude might like, I clicked on the "Luge" button and sure enough, the USA Luge Team was holding a "Slider Search" in four cities this year, and Los Angeles was one of them. It's a pretty fascinating program. According to the website...

"The USA Luge Slider Search is the official nationwide athlete recruitment tour of USA Luge, targeting young athletes, ages 9-13. The mission of this grass-roots program, established in 1985, is to identify, train and qualify young athletes for the USA Luge Junior Development Team. Athletes who may progress through the...development ladder...have hopes of one-day becoming members of the Senior National and Olympic Luge Teams.

Over the years, the USA Luge Slider Search has traveled over 220,000 miles and introduced the sport of luge to more than 19,000 eager young athletes. At each series stop, guided by U.S. Olympic and National Team coaches and athletes, participants are taught the basics of riding a luge sled, including positioning, steering and stopping. Once these skills are developed, athletes take several runs down a paved luge course on wheel-equipped luge sleds. Finally, athletes test their physical skills through a battery of fitness tests. Those who show promise in the summer program are invited to Lake Placid, N.Y., Park City, Utah, Marquette, Mich., or Muskegon, Mich. to try luge on ice at a USA Luge sanctioned training site. The top young athletes from this group are selected for the next year’s development team."

And best of all? It's FREE. I immediately signed the boy up.

Jude has been waiting for this for months now, and finally, the LA Slider Search was this past Saturday. The program was run by a USA Luge Junior team coach, and SoCal native Kate Hansen, the USA Luge Olympian who made a splash in Sochi not just with her 10th place finish, but also with her funky pre-race dancing. Since we are in Southern California and there isn't exactly any ice around, they did dry-land training on street luges.

 

 

After a brief form/steering/braking lesson...

 

That's Kate showing off her form.

 

...they all practiced a little on their own...

 

Jude practicing his steering.

 

...then hauled their luges up the hill...

 

 

And guess what? The kid is a natural.

 

 

 

I am the big dork hooting and hollering in the background.

Seriously. I have no idea what qualities go into having luging talent, but he has them. He was fast and focused and had weirdly excellent form. He was the only kid in the clinic who didn't miss a single slalom. He was completely fearless. All the other parents kept asking me how many times he's done this, and were shocked when I told them "never".

I can't remember the last time Jude enjoyed doing something this much. He absolutely adored it. He deemed it "even better than a roller coaster". Which is the highest praise imaginable.

I have no idea what we'll do if he's actually invited to join the winter luge on ice program. I realize this is unlikely, as they only invite 75 kids from across the country. But he loved it so much, I can't imagine not giving him that opportunity. I guess I'll have to figure out a way to get him to Park City, Utah or Lake Placid, NY.

I have an extra kidney I could sell I suppose. Is this what Shawn White's mother went through?

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Inspired by...

 

Prompt #4: A blog post inspired by the word "dare".

 

 

It's All Magical and Mickey at Disney World Pt. 1

We Disney Worlded, y'all!!

For Spring Break, Jude and I flew across the country for a week at Disney World in Orlando! We were treated by Jimmy's brother Tony and his wife, the amazing Niki to an action-packed week of Disney fun. You will notice that Jimmy is not mentioned as part of this trip, and that is because he was not. Tony knows his brother very well, and knows that though he loves rides and certainly loves sitting by a pool, Jimmy is not the best with things like...lines and crowds. So he did not join.

And though you probably don't want a day-by-day travelogue of our trip...I'm going to give it to you anyway! Because it was all so much fun, and I can't resist.

I feel that I should put forth a disclaimer here that I have a love/hate relationship with all things Disney. On one hand, everything is so fake and glossy and artificially perfect, and on the other hand, everything is so fake and glossy and artificially perfect. I mean, I have to hand it to them, the attention to detail of the entire place is pretty amazing. And they make every detail of your trip extreeeeeemely user-friendly. But on the other hand, you pay for that - everything costs extra. But on the other hand, it's kind of worth it. So...

Monday: The Evil Red Eye

On Monday night, Jude and I hopped on a red eye at LAX and flew to Orlando.

About to take off.

Jude's artsy shot out the window.

It was five hours of hell. Seriously. That red eye was the one of the mostly physically exhausting experiences I've ever endured. I'd say 1. Childbirth. 2. Red eye. Neither of us slept for one minute. I would sum up the reasons for this as such - snorer, cougher, crying child, horrible cologne, movie nobody watched, turbulence, seatbelt. Jude's reaction? "Now I know what it must feel like to be a homeless person, trying to sleep on the street."

Tuesday - The Magic Kingdom

We arrived, blurry-eyed at 5:30 in the morning, stumbled our way to the Magical Express Bus, and as soon as Disney took over, everything went magically.

[Magical Tangent - Everything at Disney World is "magical". Every time you talk to a Disney employee, or "cast member" (Cast Member Tangent within a tangent - everyone who works for Disney is refered to as a "cast member". It's like Disney's wink to acknowledge that everything is fake and glossy and artificially perfect.) they tell you "Have a magical day!"]

I highly recommend to anyone visiting Disney World that you stay in one of the Disney resorts. It makes everything SO much easier. First of all, everything's so clean and...fake and glossy and...well you get it, but also, those cast members bend over backward to make your stay more magical. AND you get to use these amazing gizmos...

The Amazing Magic Band!

We pre-ordered our personalized Magic Bands ahead of time, connected it to our itinerary and to a credit card. So all you have to do is scan this puppy and you are in wherever you go. It's your motel room key, your ticket to the parks, it manages your Fast Passes, and you use it to pay for your food and all your shopping. It's a magical miracle.

We stayed at Disney's All-Star Movies Resort, which is one of their "cheaper" motels. But I must say, we were completely happy and comfortable. The room was small, but it was all we needed, and it was SUPER clean and very quiet. Which came in handy when we got there at 7 am.

When we scanned ourselves into our room, we were greeted by this...

Mickey towels.

...and a phone message from Mickey himself, wishing us a magical stay.

[Mickey Tangent - Everything at Disney World is Mickey. Mickey-shaped waffles, Mickey-shaped ice cream, Mickey ears, Mickey shampoo, Mickey soap, Mickey, Mickey, Mickey.]

We caught 4 hours of good solid sleep, then hopped on another bus and headed for the Magic Kingdom to meet Tony and Niki!

Just like Disneyland only bigger and hotter.

Since we go to Disneyland here in California fairly often, the Magic Kingdom was a bit...redundant. As Jude put it "It's just like Disneyland, only with humidity!" But it's always fun anyway, and we loved being with Tony and Niki, who we don't get to see enough, and we enjoyed riding the rides at DW and comparing them to DL.

Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and Space Mountain were superior at DW (though we missed the groovy Space Mountain music they have at DL)...

Splash Mountain - We're the back two rows. Don't know the goofball in front.

While Pirates of the Caribbean and It's a Small World were better at DL.

So we rode ourselves silly, grabbed a Disney meal and crashed back at the hotel.

[Nugget Tangent - Every restaurant in Disney World has chicken nuggets. I started thinking of them as "the ubiquitous nuggets". It didn't matter if it was a pizza place or an Indian restaurant, they had the nuggets. I remember a time back when Jude was about 4 when I would have thought that this was a miracle. But nowadays I found myself slightly disgusted.]

Wednesday - Animal Kingdom

We LOVED that Animal Kingdom. Seriously.

Selfie with Tree of Life. You can see that Jude's patience with the selfie is already wearing thin.

Jude's words - "It's like a zoo and an amusement park in one!" And it's the cleanest zoo I've ever been in. I don't know how they get those animals to not stink. It's part of the magical fakeness thing, but it's amazing. It's like all the animals are "cast members", trained in making everything magical. The park is divided into sections arranged around The Tree of Life, the coolest and fakest thing of all...

Not a real tree. But cool anyway. It's basically a Tree Statue. And this thing is HUGE, people.

There's Asia, Africa and Dinoland...

...each with their own vibe and appropriate animals and rides.

In "Asia", we found Mount Everest...

Okay, maybe a little smaller than the real thing.

...and our new favorite roller coaster EVAH - Expedition Everest. I promise, this is an excellent roller coaster - just the right amount of extreme. It's scary, but never makes you think you're going to barf...

The first time we rode Expedition Everest. Look at us in the front row. Then look at the dudes behind us!

And here we are again. About 30 minutes later. We're that kind of people.

We also really loved the Kilimanjaro Safari, which is in "Africa". It's so perfectly fake that you really feel like you're on a real safari. You ride in a big jeep with a guide, and you ford streams and hit real fake potholes. The animals are beautiful, and you get really close to them. I am absolutely fascinated by how they can have lions on one side of the road, and zebras on the other side, but nobody eats each other. There must be some secret, hidden fencing system that keeps everybody in their places, but I couldn't spot it. Jude LOVED it. And I must say that, unlike some zoo experiences, I had the feeling that these animals were all terribly happy and well-cared-for.

Tony and Jude on safari.

Elephant cooling off. There are no photo effects on this pic. I suspect that the bottom of the "pond" is painted that color by Mickey.

Could practically touch the giraffes.

It was fun and also genuinely educational. Actually, most of the Animal Kingdom was like that. We also loved the Kali River Rapids and the Dinosaur ride.

Then in the late afternoon, we took a bus to another bus to Disney's Fort Wilderness Resort to something called the Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical Revue, described on the website as "a hilarious, high-spirited hootenanny the whole family will enjoy, accompanied by a finger-lickin' countrified feast". Niki has a friend who had raved about it, so she made the reservations, and we all loved it.

Picture stolen from Disney website, and not the cast we saw. But I think those are the same wigs.

The show's a little hokey (okay a lot hokey), but the music's fun and the show is tried and true. And by tried and true I mean that they've been doing the same show a couple of times a night every night since 1974! The cast shifts around, I suspect they just pass around the costumes and wigs, but everybody is a real pro. Dinner was pretty damned good too - fried chicken and ribs and all you can drink beer and wine. Can't ask for better than that.

Wow! I've already written 1400 words and we're not even to Epcot yet! So come back next week for It's All Magical and Mickey at Disney World Pt. 2!

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Oh look! Mama Kat's with me on this...

1.) Let's reminisce about the last trip you took...pictures please!

 

 

 

Just a Little Spoiled

My parents used to always say that I was spoiled, but never spoiled rotten, and I think this is true. I think spoiling a kid a little bit is just fine and dandy, as long as they don't start to expect to get everything they want.  Of course, the fact that my family didn't have a lot of money kept my spoiling within "not rotten" limits.

I think Jude is also a little spoiled. It's the only child thing. We only children grow up believing that we are the center of the universe because, well...we are. But I'm happy to report that Jude is by no means a "grabber" (as Jimmy would say), he never expects to get everything he wants, and he's always tremendously appreciative of what he does get. He's a good boy, and his good boyness just makes us want to give him even more. 

One problem of being the poorish family amongst a bunch of rich families at Jude's school is the "fabulous vacation". After every Christmas/Easter/summer vacation, he gets to hear about everybody's "fabulous vacation". In the last year, I'd say about 3/4 of the kids in his class went with their families to either Europe or some island somewhere or to some ski resort. We, on the other hand, went either nowhere or to Grandma's house. It's sad. And though Jude has never once ever complained, I know he must be jealous. I AM. I see pictures of everybody's "fabulous vacations" on Facebook and turn absolutely green.

Recently, his friends families have been planning their Spring Break vacations. Hawaii seems to be the top destination. Jude had pretty much resigned himself to staying home and at least getting a little extra video game time in. And then...

Jimmy's brother, Tony called. Tony, who is Jude's only uncle and godfather, and his wife, the Amazing Niki, announced that they wanted to take Jude and me on a vacation for a week to...

 

 

That's right! We're going to Disney World!

Jude is so excited he can't stand it! His friends are actually jealous of him! "Dude, you're so lucky!" And though Disney World might not be as relaxing as Hawaii, I'm totally up for it, I love some rides!

So even though we can't spoil the boy rotten, his uncle and aunt can!

If you're in Orlando in April, let me know and we'll do a meet up!

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This post was inspired by...

 

 

Prompt #1 -  A blog post inspired by the word: Spoiled.

 

He Ate Green Stuff!

I've been trying to mix it up a little in the dinner department around here lately. I feel like I get into ruts when I make the same dishes over and over. And over. Those easy go-to standards, that I can throw together without any thought.

So the other night I decided to give Jimmy a treat and make Linguine with Clams. As I have mentioned many, many times, Jimmy is a seafood fanatic. He'd eat it every day if I was willing to make it. Luckily, Jude is also a seafood dude, which is a little strange because he's so damned picky. Even though the kid won't eat anything that resembles a vegetable, he will scarf down his weight in calamari or shrimp. So I decided to make the Linguine with Clams for all of us, taking a risk and ignoring that there are ingredients in it that DO resemble vegetables.

I also must say that Jimmy grew up eating...how do I put this without offending...hmmm...no, can't do it...nasty clam sauce. Mommy's idea of clam sauce is straight out of a can of Progresso.

 

Has its charms.

 

Which is kind of tasty in a childhood-food-elementary-school-cafeteria kind of way. But there's nothing in it that could remotely be described as "fresh". It's basically a bowl of gray matter.

But I just refuse to eat that nastiness, and decided I would make a fresh Linguine with Clams, in the more traditional Italian way, which is in more of a broth than either a cream sauce or a tomato sauce.

I was apprehensive, but, surprise, surprise, they BOTH went crazy for it. Jimmy ate himself silly, and Jude ate even more than Jimmy! He's only ten and I'm flabbergasted by the amount of pasta the kid can put away. He even ate parsley despite its greenness! And tomatoes which still looked like tomatoes (as opposed to tomato sauce, which is his staple)! They fought over who got more clams!

Please make this for your family. It's super easy and they will think they've gone to a fancy Italian restaurant!

Linguine con le Vongole

1 lb. linguine

12 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced

2 lbs. fresh clams, the smallest you can find

1 tsp. red pepper flakes

1 cup dry white wine

1 14-oz. can whole San Marzano tomatoes, juice reserved, tomatoes chopped

1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp. Italian parsley, chopped

In large pot, boil linguini in salted water, cooking it 1 minute short of al dente.

Meanwhile, in a large heavy stock pot, heat 6 tbsp. of the olive oil. Saute garlic, stirring, for about 30 seconds. Toss in the clams and red pepper flakes and stir for 1 minute more. Add wine, tomatoes and their juice and parsley, and simmer, uncovered, until clams open, about 7 to 8 minutes.

Drain the pasta (reserving about a 1/2 cup of cooking water) and add it to the pot with the clams. Cook, stirring, until linguini is done, about a minute or two. Add some of the reserved cooking water if needed to keep it moist. Add remaining oil and toss to coat. Sprinkle with remaining chopped parsley.

Make sure you say the word "Mangia" when you serve it to your awed and adoring family.

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This post was inspired by...

 

 

Prompt #2 - Share a recipe that everyone in your family loves.

 

Top 10 Favorite Christmas Songs

DISCLAIMER: I love me some Christmas songs. I love ALL Christmas songs. I even love that hokey Country song about Mama dying and being in heaven for Christmas. I even love that Mariah Carey song where she has all those trilly runs and hits that crazy high note at the end. I start listening to them the day after Thanksgiving and continue through the Feast of the Epiphany. And I sing along. LOUDLY. It's slightly mad. So it is close to impossible for me to truly come up with a Top 10 List, because my favorites change. But here are my Top 10 Favorite Christmas Songs at this very moment.

In no particular order...

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland

Judy, Judy, Judy. No one had more emotion in her voice. So pure, so rich. She just kills me every time I listen to it.

 

 

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Darlene Love

Before he became known as an eccentric murderer, Phil Spector was the genius behind The Wall of Sound. His production on this is amazing, and Darlene Love's voice and performance are incredibly passionate. Don't you dare listen to the wimpy Mariah Carey remake!

 

 

 

Joy to the World - the John Rutter arrangement in the style of Handel

My favorite carol to sing. Singing this piece with my choir is one of my Christmas joys. SO joyous and glorious!

 

 

 

Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Tony Bennett

Nobody swings the cool Christmas jazz like Tony.

 

 

 

Silent Night - Petula Clark

Okay, I'm slightly freaking out that I actually found this on the YouTube. When I was a little girl, Mama had one of those Christmas compilation albums, probably by Ronco or something, and this version of Silent Night was on it. Everything else on the album was Andy Williams or the Ray Conniff Singers or such, but this cut was just so GROOVY! I used to put it on and listen to it over and over, picking up that needle and dropping it back at the beginning of Petula.

 

 

 

Merry Christmas Baby - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

The sexiest Christmas song I know. You can't beat the Boss.

 

 

 

Merry Christmas From the Family - Robert Earl Keene

A truly Texan Christmas song, and one of the funniest songs I know. So many subversively honest and brilliant lyrics that can't even choose a favorite. A Texan will get all of the inside jokes, but hopefully, anyone who has a weird family can appreciate it. I know these people. Absolutely. PLEASE listen.

 

 

 

Christmas in Hollis - RUN-DMC

When this first came out, I used to crank it up and dance around my apartment singing. I can't imagine what my Dallas neighbors thought about a crazy white girl running around rapping "It's Christmas time in Hollis, Queens, Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens..." but I don't really care.

 

 

 

Santa Baby - Eartha Kitt

Do NOT listen to the travesty that is the Madonna remake! Eartha was HAWT!

 

 

 

Hark the Herald Angels Sing

My Daddy had one Christmas joke. It went like this...

Once there was a church in a small town. The preacher was trying to raise the money to buy new hymnals for the congregation, but was coming up short. Finally, the local drug store agreed to donate the money for the new hymnals. They ordered them and they came in just in time for Christmas. On Christmas morning, the congregation all opened their shiny new hymnals and began to sing...

Hark the herald angels sing,

Carter's Pills are just the thing.

Peace on earth and mercy mild,

Two for adults, one for child.

So every Christmas morning when we went to church and sang this song, Daddy and I would get into an impossible giggling fit, we just couldn't stop. My poor mother (who NEVER got the joke) was terribly embarrassed and left "tsking" and rolling her eyes at our inappropriate behavior. But I loved it. This one's for you Daddy...

 

 

 

This post was inspired by...

 

 

Prompt #5 - Your top 5 favorite Christmas songs. (Yes the prompt was for 5 songs and I had 10, so sue me!)

 

The Mommy Quest

I know I have mentioned before how easy my beloved mother-in-law, Mommy, is to shop for. She is an excellent giftee (sorry, don't think that's a word) for two reasons. 1. She likes everything. 2. She buys almost nothing for herself, so you can be pretty sure that she doesn't already have what you get her and that she needs it.

My favorite story which I believe defines the joy of giving gifts to Mommy is about a Mother's Day many years ago. I bought Mommy a fancy baking dish, but when I went to wrap it, discovered that I was out of wrapping paper. So I dug out all my old Bon Appetit magazines and cut out every picture I could find of chocolate (Mommy = Chocoholic) and made them into chocolate/collage/wrapping paper. I then mailed the present to New York. A few days later, Mommy called, terribly excited. She was shrieking with joy "Ooooooh myyyyy Gawd! I loooove it, I love it, I love it! It's so beautiful!" (remember Mommy's Brooklyn accent and pronounce beautiful - byoo-tee-ful).  "I'm so glad," I said, "I think you can make your chicken cutlets in it." There was a pause, then Mommy cried, "there's MOOOOORE????!!" Yes, that's right. Mommy hadn't even opened the present. She was just that excited about the wrapping paper.

That said...every now and then, I will make the mistake of asking Mommy what she wants for Christmas, and she always says "Oh no, I don't need nothing. I don't want you to spend your money on me. But what I really could use is..." She says it like that in one breath, and out of her mouth comes something she's clearly thought a great deal about, and is ridiculously, painfully specific. And it always sends me on a Mommy Quest.

I remember a year back during the pre-internet days when she decided that what she really needed was a white, v-neck sweatshirt. But not white white, she wanted "winter white". I searched EVERYWHERE. I must have gone to twelve stores. There were no winter white v-neck sweatshirts in the city of Los Angeles. I was a failure.

Which leads us to this year.

"Mommy, is there anything you really want for Christmas?" I asked.

"Oh no, you don't need to get me any presents," answered Mommy.

"But Mommy, you know I'm going to get you something no matter what you say. Is there anything you want or need?"

"No, no, you know me, I don't need anything. Don't worry about me."

"Mommy, don't be silly."

"Well you know...my denim pocketbook is wearing out. I could use a new denim pocketbook."

And there you have it. A "denim pocketbook".  Why did I ask?! This is wrong in so many ways.

"Well Mommy, I'm not sure if they make denim pocketbooks any more," I said.

NOTE: Mommy's denim handbag, which she calls a pocketbook, was probably purchased in 1984 or so.

"Oh no? I thought they were back," said Mommy.

I sigh...

It's at this point that I should remind everyone that, as I said before, she never buys anything for herself.  She simply has a thing, and then uses it until it wears out. Maybe we should all learn a thing or two from Mommy.

After much questioning and confusion, I came to understand her pocketbook needs...

1. She wants a bag to carry to "the store". "Nothing fancy". Meaning cheap.
2. She doesn't want a good leather bag. She already has one of those. She only uses it for church.
3. The bag should be light-weight.
4. The bag should not be overly large.

So the bottom line is that Mommy wants a crappy handbag. I hate to say it, but there it is.

And I have learned a thing or two over the last twenty years, and one thing I've learned is that if I get her something "too nice" she will NEVER use it. It will just sit there in a drawer. It's crazy.

For example...this summer, I bought her a new nightgown for her birthday. I bought it at...Target. We're not talking Lord & Taylor's or Bloomingdale's or even Macy's. Target. It was a stretchy nightie made of t-shirt material. But she deemed it "too nice" to wear. I swear to God. She is saving it for "something special". What the what? She's 84! She and Pop sleep in separate bedrooms! I bought it because I thought it seemed comfy. But noooo...

So I started my search. First of all, a Google search of "denim handbag" yields a plethora of pictures of HIDEOUS handbags. Hideous and not as cheap as they look. The best of them was a Michael Kors bag that cost $345, which is more than the sum total of all of the clothes in Mommy's closet.

I went to Ross Dress for Less, I went to Loehmann's, I went to TJ Maxx, I went to Marshall's. All of the places which Mommy would deem acceptable places to purchase a gift for her. There was nothing.

I feel that I should clarify that Mommy is not cheap. In fact, she's quite generous when it comes to GIVING gifts. She enjoys writing a nice check. She just refuses to spend anything on herself. It's a little tragic.

So finally, I ended up back at good old Target. And found this...

 

Cheap bag for Mommy.

 

It's ugly. And it's not denim. But it is "nothing fancy". It is light-weight, and it is not overly large. I brought it home and showed it to Jimmy, and he said "that's my mom!" So I'm hoping she'll like it.

Maybe if I wrap it in pictures of chocolate?

___________________________________

This post was inspired by...

 

 

Prompt #5 -  Talk about a problem you tackled this week.

Iconic Mommy

10 Iconic Mommy Things That Make Me Smile

As many of you know, I'm currently a week and a half into my 3 week visit with my in-laws in New York. My wacky, beloved mother-in-law, Mommy, has her own way of doing things. Here are a few things that I consider "Iconic Mommy". Please forgive the blurry photos taken with my iPhone while nobody was looking...

Mommy's Flashy Earrings

Mommy likes her earrings big and dangly. I once gave her a pair of delicate, tasteful earrings, and she hung them on the bottom of some giant hoops "so people can see them".

Oddly Framed Pictures

This is a picture of Jimmy and his brother Tony when they were little boys. I have no explanation for the framing job. The house is filled with pictures like this.

Mommy's Rollers

Mommy spends much of her time wearing these curlers. Why change something that works for you?

Hot Water Heater

See that yellow Energy Guide sticker on the side? That is completely ignored. Mommy cranks this puppy up to the hottest it will go. It's literally scalding. She does this so that the dishes are sterilized in the dishwasher. Because Mommy hates germs. Good news - great hot showers. Bad news - many, many...many scalded hands.

Mommy's Slutty Tanktops

 

The woman turns 84 this week, and she can still pull off a slutty tanktop. God bless her. Despite the writing on Mommy's tanktop, she is not really a jogger. Just in case that confused you.

Basement Telephone

I love the tableau of this picture for many reasons. The broken lamps, the old derby from some St. Patrick's Day of long ago, the old toys, the used-up Renuzit air freshener. But best of all is Mommy's basement rotary phone. Which works. And she uses regularly. Perfect place to make that private phone call.

Mommy's Beauty Supplies

For those of you uninitiated, here's a link to Mommy's beauty routine - Beauty Tips From Mommy.

Blessed Mother

She's everywhere in Mommyland.

Christmas in August

Mommy loves Christmas. So why wait until December? She leaves these tchotchkes of tcheer out year round.

Mommy's Secret Stash of Chocolate

 

If you read the Beauty Tips From Mommy link above, you know that Mommy is deeply devoted to her chocolate. It's not just a food treat, but an energy source.

 

Are you smiling now? I am. I may need to be reminded of this in another week and a half when I've been here the full 3 weeks!

___________________________________

This post was inspired by...

 1. 10 Things to Smile About

The Rose Lady

For a brief time, back in the summer of 1991, when I was a struggling actress in Los Angeles, I had the worst job in the world. Okay, maybe not THE worst job in the world. It didn't involve road kill, or cleaning sewers or anything. But it was everything I could hate in a job all rolled into one. I will explain...

When I first moved to Los Angeles, I started working pretty steadily as an actress. When I had lived in Dallas, I had worked in a book store and as a nanny, but since moving to LA, I was lucky enough that I'd never had to have a "day job".

But for a while there, things dried up. I was broke. I could probably have asked Mama for the cash to tide me over until I booked another tv gig, but I just couldn't do it. I was 30, for God's sakes, I should have been able to take care of myself.

So I started to hunt for a part-time job. This is a problem for the actor. You have to find a job that is flexible enough to allow you to go to auditions whenever they need you during the day, often at the last minute, and on the other side of town.

But the biggest problem was that I had...no marketable skills. None.

I could sort of type, and thought I could maybe do temp work. But temp jobs weren't flexible enough, and I was auditioning quite a bit. I drove around the neighborhood filling out job applications at stores and restaurants.

One restaurant manager actually called me in for a meeting, not to hire me, but just because he'd never met anybody honest enough to to write "No waitressing experience" on a job application.

Finally, a woman I knew from a comedy improv class told me about a job which sounded doable. No experience necessary. Worked only weekend nights, and you could make a couple of hundred dollars a week.

And so I became...a rose lady.

You've seen them. My job was to fill my car with cheap roses, then drive around the city to restaurants and clubs and stroll around the places, hawking my wares to unsuspecting patrons at outrageous prices.

The woman who owned the company (who happened to be a Scientologist, and I was one of her only non-Scientologist employees), had made deals with certain restaurants to allow us in - I guess they got some kind of a kick-back. I had to dress up in a frilly white blouse with a ridiculous amount of cleavage, and tight black pants, then carry a massive, rose-laden basket around with me. I offered three rose options - the single rose, the small bouquet of 3 roses, and the large bouquet of 6, which cost a whopping $20.

The idea was to walk slowly around the restaurant, and while we were not allowed to actually flat-out ask anyone if they'd like to make a purchase, we were allowed to stare intimidatingly. Then once some poor sap, in an attempt to impress his date, asked to make a purchase, I could pounce. The idea was to insinuate that only a pathetic cheapskate would purchase his ladylove the single rose. And that certainly she would be more willing to put-out later if he went for the big bouquet.

Apparently, there was much bickering and jockeying for the good restaurants amongst my fellow rose ladies, who I only saw when picking up roses at the beginning of the night, and dropping off the leftovers at the end. But they all liked me, because I had no interest at all in the good restaurants. I wanted to be working the most obscure, far-off-the-beaten-path restaurants possible, in hopes that I would NEVER run into anyone I knew.

So I took the route deep in the valley. I drove from Sherman Oaks all the way out to places like La Puente, El Monte and West Covina. These are places where you expect to happen upon a body dump.I started the evening at family restaurants, and ended it at discos and country-western bars.

I hated it. I hated it deeply and painfully. First of all, I am a POOR salesperson. And the thought of pushing some poor dude on a date into spending all his money on some cheap roses just made me weak. I felt so guilty.

I did make a few bucks. But I felt like a whore.

Finally, after about two months, I booked a recurring role on the tv show Wings, and quit the rose ladying so fast it would have made your head spin. In one day, I went from pimping roses to kissing Tim Daly. Such is the business.

I tell this story as a cautionary tale to any young actors heading to Los Angeles without any marketable skills. DON'T DO WHAT I DID! Have a backup job just in case!

And sadly, the smell of roses always takes me right back there. Damn. The smell of humiliation.

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This post was inspired by...

 

 

Prompt #4 - Tell us about a job you quit...why did you do it?

 

The Rawhide Legend

According to legend...

Mama was working in the garden, planting some new rose bushes. She was not wearing gardening gloves, because she liked the way the moist dirt felt on her hands. She would come to regret this.

It was mid-March, and the weather in Texas was starting to warm up, so she had decided to garden at dusk, when it was pleasantly cool outside.

She was wearing a large and not particularly attractive muumuu, which her sister-in-law, Verna, had sent her from Hawaii. It was the only thing that still fit her, as she had outgrown all of her maternity clothes.

Oh, did I fail to mention that she was pregnant? She was. Quite pregnant, in fact. But she still had a couple of weeks until her due date, so she was pretty surprised when labor pains started in fast and furious. She sunk down to her knees.

"Roy!!!" she cried.

Nothing.

"ROY!!!" she yelled out, louder.

Nothing.

She managed to get up and stagger into the house. Daddy was sitting in his big chair in the living room, watching "Rawhide" on television. Daddy loved a good Western.

"Roy! It's TIME!!" Mama cried. Mama was often melodramatic.

"Now?" Daddy asked calmly. Daddy was never melodramatic.

"Yes! Now! The baby is coming now!"

"Well, why don't you go lie down and let me watch the rest of "Rawhide". It will take a while for that baby to get here. We'll drive in to the hospital after the show," declared Daddy, ever the pragmatist.

"But this baby is coming NOW!"

A rather large fight ensued.

Mama, of course, won, as pregnant women in labor tend to do, and Daddy turned off "Rawhide" and drove her to the hospital.

When they got there, they whisked her into the Maternity Ward, and told Daddy to go home. They would call him when it was closer to the time for delivery.

Once Mama got into the Maternity Ward, they stuck her in a bed in the corner and refused to call her doctor. It was far too early, they said, it will still be many hours until that baby was ready to come out.

"But this baby is coming NOW!"

 "Oh my goodness, you older mothers..." scoffed the nurse. Mama never forget this line.

Because she was, in fact, an older mother - almost 40. Which was rare in those days. And the nurse in charge seemed to think that Mama was a silly, over-reacting older mother, who clearly didn't know anything about birthing babies.

Mama became convinced that they just weren't taking her seriously enough because she was wearing this terrible muumuu and she had dirt stuck under her fingernails. She was afraid that they thought she was some kind of low-class woman, who didn't know any better than to go into labor with dirty nails.

"I was gardening! I'm not usually dirty!" Mama tried to tell the nurses, "I should have worn gloves!  This baby is coming NOW!"

Finally, after a few hours, she convinced a nurse to come and examine her, and sure enough the nurse took one look and said "This baby is coming NOW!"

They called her doctor, and Daddy, who both rushed down to the hospital. Within an hour, the doctor found Daddy out in the waiting room, and told him he was the father of a healthy baby girl. Me. It was just after midnight on March 18, 1961.

 

Notice that by now she has washed her hands and put on a little lipstick. And a bow.

Daddy never got to see the end of that episode of "Rawhide". And Daddy, having the wry sense of humor that he did, complained about it for the rest of his life. Every year on my birthday, he'd mutter sadly, "Never did see the end of that "Rawhide". Every time the show was on, he'd watch, but after a few minutes he'd shake his head sadly, "Nope. That's not the episode."

But Daddy didn't have Google. Or IMDb. Or YouTube. Though he would have loved them - all that information at his fingertips. And I, being very much my father's daughter, did a bit of research.

I Googled "Rawhide March 17, 1961" and sure enough..."Rawhide" Season 3, Episode 19, Incident Near Gloomy River  popped right up on IMDb! The legend has been confirmed! And John Cassavetes was the guest star, so I guess it was a good episode!

My next stop was YouTube, and guess what? A scene from Incident Near Gloomy River. Gotta love the young Clint.

And so, this is for you Da.

 

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This post was inspired by...

 

Prompt #3 - Tell us about the story of your birth.

Moonwalk

July 21, 1969

I remember it well. I was 8-years old.

I had put on my nightgown and gone to bed at 8:00 pm, my usual time, and gone to sleep.

But then, at about 9:30 at night, Mama came into my room and woke me up. Something important was about to happen.

She led me into the living room, and snuggled up with me on the sofa with a blanket and a pillow. Daddy was sitting in his chair, and our big console color television was tuned in to a news program.

Earlier that day, Apollo 11 had landed on the surface of the moon, and everyone in the world was tuned into their television sets, waiting for a miracle to happen.

At 9:56 pm CST, Neil Armstrong made his way out the door of the tiny lunar module, and we all held our breaths...

 

I remember Mama starting to cry, and Daddy getting stoicly quiet as we watched these two amazingly brave Americans erect our country's flag on the surface of the moon, so far, far away.

Through my life, I've watched many memorable events on television - the towers crumbling on 9/11, the Challenger disaster, the OJ car chase, the funeral of Princess Diana, the levees breaking during Hurricane Katrina, the LA riots. But all of those events were tragic and shocking. 

July 21, 1969 was a triumph. It was a moment when everyone in America tuned in to proudly watch our country's success. We all cheered along with those men in the shirts and ties gathered in that huge room at Mission Control in Houston, not far from where I sat in my living room with my family.

I wonder if I'll ever again see an event which brings our country that much pride. I fear not.

What television news story made the biggest impression on you when you were a kid?

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This post was inspired by...

 

 

Prompt #1 -  How old were you? Share one of the first news stories you remember caring about.