Second Blooming

Spin Cycle: The Best of Ireland

I've always thought that I must be at least a bit Irish, because I identify with it all so completely. So I did the Ancestry.com thing and discovered a tiny bit of Irish blood, we're talking six generations back. But it is there. The Logans, from County Westmeath.

 

I LOVE this crest so much! Not only does it boast TWO stabbed, bloody hearts, but the motto translates to "The valour of my ancesters."

 

Those are me people! I'm an Irish lassie!

And so, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I present my personal favorite Irish things.

Stout

Ah stout! The perfect food. It neatly combines booze and dessert. It's sort of an entire food group unto itself. While Guinness is certainly the iconic Irish stout, I asked my friend Brian, who is a proud Irishman and a beer geek, I mean, mmm...expert (and his wife reads this blog, hi Laura), and he says that the very best Irish stout is actually Murphy's Stout, from Cork, Ireland.

 

Guinness devotees don't shoot the messenger, this is Brian's opinion! But he does really know his beer.

And he says if you want to go domestic, buy Black Bear Stout from Bear Republic Brewery, which I've had and is to die for.

Literature

Although the Irish didn't invent the English language, they certainly perfected it. Irish folks just know how to turn a phrase. The number of great writers who have come out of that tiny green island is staggering - James Joyce, George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Jonathan Swift, William Butler Yeats, Samuel Beckett, Seamus Heaney - feel free to add your favorite to the list.

Van Morrison

I know that most people consider U2 to be the best Irish rockers ever, but for me nobody compares to Van the Man. Van just always touches my soul and puts me in my happy place. Part rock, part jazz, completely soulful and totally sexy. Both Moondance and Poetic Champions Compose are near-perfect albums. Most people know him for his big hits like Brown-Eyed Girl and Moondance, but most of my favorites are the "deep-cuts. The perfect slow-dance music. Oh yeah...

 

 

Corned Beef and Cabbage

Though "Irish cook" is often thought of as an oxymoron, there are quite a few iconic Irish dishes that are amazing. The following is my friend Amanda's recipe for Corned Beef and Cabbage. Amanda is a damned good cook, and an Irish lass. She took several versions of this and tweaked and perfected it, and she has generously allowed me to share it with y'all. It takes the standard Corned Beef recipe and kicks it to another level. And you have to love any recipe that involves this much liquor!

Amanda's Corned Beef and Cabbage

Based on a House & Garden 1965 Recipe

Serves 4 with leftovers

5 pounds corned brisket of beef (I use the flat cut)

2 bottles Guinness (large bottles)

6 peppercorns, or packaged pickling spices

3 carrots, peeled and quartered

3 onions, peeled and quartered

1 medium-sized green cabbage, quartered or cut in wedges

Melted butter (about 4 tbsp.)

For glaze:

Whole grain ground mustard (or Dijon)

Brown sugar

Place the corned beef in the slow cooker and add with 1.5 bottles Guinness, and water to cover.  Set slow cooker for all day (minimum 6 hours, I would say, or up to 10 hours on low).  After about an hour, I skim off the scum and add the seasoning packet, a little ground Mustard powder, and a little more Guinness to cover.  I then let it cook all day.

If you want to serve the corned beef with cabbage and carrots: About an hour and a half before it is scheduled to be done, add the carrots and onion.  During the last 45 -30 min. (depending on how “crunchy” you like your cabbage), add the cabbage. You can skip the vegetable step if you just want the corned beef for sandwiches or hash.

Remove the cooked corned beef, and slather it with a glaze of equal parts whole grain mustard (or Dijon if you prefer, or a mix of the two) and brown sugar.  Put the glazed corned beef in a 400 degree oven for 20 minutes or so, until the glaze browns a bit.

The vegetables should be done at the same time as that finishes. Brush the vegetables with melted butter to serve.

Alternate glaze recipe:

¾ cup bourbon

¾ cup apple juice

3 Tbsp. Mustard

1.5 cup brown sugar

DELICIOUS!

Irish Saints

Anybody who knows me well knows that I'm a bit of a saint geek. I love me the saints. And while we all celebrate St. Patrick, there are actually quite a few really good Irish saint stories.

St. Patrick - So...he wasn't really Irish, and he probably wasn't really named Patrick, and he certainly wasn't the first missionary to Ireland and didn't really convert all of Ireland single-handedly and most likely there weren't really any snakes there for him to get rid of. But we love him anyway. He had been kidnapped and enslaved by Irish pirates, then after he finally got home, decided to go back to do some converting. Which seems pretty brave to me, so I'll give him the snake thing.

St. Brendan the Navigator - May or may not have been the first European reach North America, crossing the Atlantic in his tiny currah. He and his crew sailed for seven years and he said he baptized several mermaids, and once saw Judas Iscariot taking a vacation from hell on a passing iceberg.

St. Brigid - I love pretty much every story about this Patroness of Ireland. As a young girl, she was known to magically multiply the the household supply of butter.She desperately wanted to become a nun, but because of her beauty was constantly pursued by suitors, so she prayed to be ugly, and God answered her prayers, helping her to become grotesquely disfigured. After becoming a nun, her bathwater was often transformed into beer for the thirsty clerics and she was known to hang her cloak on a sunbeam to dry. By some crazy coincidence, her feast day is the same as that of a pagan goddess also know as Brigid. Who'd have thought?

St. Columba - The patron of both Ireland and of poets, which is fitting, right? Columba was one of those famous Irish scribes who copied manuscripts, but also wrote verse himself. His copying a manuscript without the author's permission led to the first copyright infringement lawsuit, and eventually an actual war. As penance for having caused a war, Columba banished himself from his beloved Ireland, living in Scotland from which he swore he could see the hills of Ireland. While in Scotland, he did some cool stuff, like banishing a monster from the river Ness to live in the loch. He did eventually go back to Ireland when the High King attempted to outlaw the Poets Guild. Columba gave an impassioned defense of poetry and verse, and saved Irish poetry forever.

Denis Leary

I must confess a life-long weakness for Irish badboys. Something about the weird combination of smartass/drunk/funny/Catholic has always gotten to me. Denis is the epitome of all these things. He drinks and curses and is hysterical, yet has been married to his wife since 1989. He met his wife at Emerson College, which I was thiiiiiiiiiiis close to attending (Daddy nixed the expense), but if I had gone, I just know he would have married ME instead. I'm sure of it. Hmm...Mrs. Denis Leary. Sigh... Anyway, here is a video of Denis singing the funniest Irish song ever written. The lyrics actually make me cry with laughter. Enjoy...

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Don't miss Ginny Marie and my other St. Patrick's Day spinners! It's not too late to add your post in the Linky below.

Check back on Monday for next week's Spin Cycle topic!

 

 

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Spin Cycle: Inspirational Women

As my life has progressed along its timeline, my idea of an "inspirational woman" has evolved and changed considerably. When I was younger, I admired women for their looks, their talent, their business savvy -  women who I wished to emulate in my career.

Now that I have moved on into my "second blooming", I find that I am far less impressed by those elements, and find myself admiring women most who have a certain quality to their character - an ability to continually grow and evolve, to try new things, to stay intellectually curious, and to stay present and relevant. So many of us get stuck, either by their families or husbands or uninspiring jobs, or by difficulty and disappointment, and become isolated and insular. And when I see women who were able to accept the difficulties in their lives and learn and grow and move forward, I say "yes, that's what I want to be!"

Eleanor Roosevelt

Even though Eleanor was born to extreme privilege, she was the definition of the "poor little rich girl". Both her mother and brother died of diphtheria when she was eight, and her depressive, alcoholic father died by jumping out a window when she was ten.  She was not a particularly pretty girl, and almost all of the men in her life ignored or abandoned her. But she took what she was given and moved on with it. At 15 she wrote "no matter how plain a woman may be if truth and loyalty are stamped upon her face all will be attracted to her." It was a time when a girl's prospects were dependent on making a good marriage, so she married her cousin Franklin, who certainly had great prospects. Despite having six children, their marriage was never a passionate one. Franklin had numerous, long-term affairs, leaving Eleanor deeply hurt and publicly humiliated. Franklin didn't want to get a divorce because it would mean the end of his political career. So Eleanor was faced with a choice - divorce him and make a better life for herself, or stay with him and make a better life for the country. She chose the latter, and their marriage evolved into a strong political partnership. All of her life she was an outspoken advocate for civil rights, women's rights and education. She became one of the most involved and active first ladies of all time, and after Franklin's death, she continued to stay politically active for the rest of her life. At age 61, she became a delegate to the United Nations, and had been named the chairperson of the Presidential Commission on the Status of Women when she passed away in 1962 at age 78.

I want to be like her!

Jennifer Salt

About 20 years ago, Jennifer used to date one of Jimmy's best friends, and we spent quite a bit of time with them and at her house. Though she was a good deal older than me, we got along well, and enjoyed cooking dinner parties together. Jennifer had been a pretty successful actress, who you might remember from Soap in the '70s, but when I knew her, she was just celebrating her 50th birthday, and had fallen into that black hole for actresses when no one wants to hire them. (Oh my, Gretchen, isn't that where you are right now? Mmm...yes.) She hadn't worked in a couple of years and was panicking. She had a teenage son to take care of and a mortgage. What was she going to do? So she started writing. She took a screenwriting class and focused all of her energy on making this new career work for her. I remember her telling me that she realized that few people in Hollywood would hire a middle-aged woman as a writer, but maybe she could carve out a niche for herself writing "women's" films She started focusing on writing what I think of as "Lifetime movies". Sure enough, she started selling scripts. Cut to: Over the last 10 years, Jennifer has become hugely successful as the writer/producer of Nip/Tuck as well as American Horror Story. Both incredibly popular and decidedly NOT "women's" shows. She has become something of an anomaly -  a woman in her 60s who writes some of the sexiest, bloodiest and most cutting-edge shows on television.

I want to be like her!

My Mama

I've spoken about the way in which my mother reinvented herself from an orphaned farmgirl with a troubled youth into the string-of-pearls-Coach-bag-wearing, church-going wife of an attorney who she came to be. Mama knew the kind of lady she wanted to be, and made it happen. But after I left home, she found herself with little to do, and a husband 15 years older than her and in declining health. No doubt she was lonely. So she threw herself into charity work with a passion. She had always been a "doer" - Girl Scout troop leader, room mother, event organizer. But at this point in her life, she kicked it into a higher gear. She started with working at a soup kitchen - she spent several days a week feeding the homeless. She went on to volunteering at the St. Vincent de Paul Society Thrift Store - a job she adored. She loved sorting through all the donations, and made good friends with the Guatemalan ladies who worked with her in the back of the store. I wonder if those ladies knew that her childhood had probably been much like theirs. She became extremely active in the Ladies of Charity, a Catholic women's organization, and eventually was named to the International Board. I'm telling you, that woman HELPED people. One of the last things I did with her before she died was to Secret Santa an entire family - we bought food and presents and delivered it all to their house. She never stopped contributing, and never stopped "doing".

I want to be like her!

Which women inspire you most? Please share your spin on Inspirational Women in the Linky below, and don't forget to check out the other contributors. Maybe they will inspire you as well!

 

 

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RTT: Cumberbatch, Tribes and Poop Study

Good Lord, could it really be a MONTH since I've written a Random Tuesday Thoughts? Please forgive me, the whole holiday thing derailed me from my usual schedule. Let's see what I have rattling around my brain...

 

 

Okay, I realize that I should have shared this BEFORE Christmas, but I can't resist. 17 Santa Claus Photos That Will Make Your Skin Crawl. And they do. Some of the most frightening...

 

Ewwww...

Eeeeek!

Strangely disturbing.

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For all you Benedict Cumberbatch fans. La, la, la, la, baby...

 

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On a more serious note...

Stunning Portraits of the World's Remotest Tribes Before They Pass Away

Stunning is right. These pictures absolutely blow me away! Here are some favorites, but you absolutely MUST click the link, there are 46 pictures and they're all breathtaking.

 

The Karo, Ethiopia

 

The Maori, New Zealand

 

Mongolia

Papua New Guinea

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This is the best idea! MeetWays. It's a website that will calculate the halfway point between two addresses, and tell you what's there. For example, if my in-laws in New York wanted to meet us halfway between their house and ours, we would all end up in Lincoln, Nebraska, and have a nice meal at Merle's Food and Drink. I think I'd go for the Chef's Special - Grilled Walleye.

Or more realistically...if my friend Melissa and I wanted to meet halfway between our houses, we could go to Home Restaurant on Hillhurst, which is kind of a great place. Melissa, you up for lunch?

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From the "Man, do I love science" files...

According to this article, dogs go poop in alignment with the Earth's magnetic field. Not just that, but they like to do their business on a north/south axis, rather than east/west. I kid you not. They did a 2 year study, using 70 dogs and observing 1893 poops and 5582 pees. Could you imagine being that guy and trying to explain to people what you do for a living? Anyway, why do they do this? Nobody knows. And I was about to say "nobody cares", but clearly somebody does, and the article says " the findings open 'new horizons' for further research in organisms' use of magnetic fields for direction, as well as magnetic fields produced by living organisms." So there's that.

I have to admit that since reading this, I've been watching Fancy do her business, and sure enough...north/south. It's true. Got to love science.

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Well that's the randomness for today. Please visit Stacy and the other Random Tuesday Thought participants!

 

RTT: Derek, Go Topless Day and NYC Real Estate

Welcome to another edition of Random Tuesday Thoughts...

 

 

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Talk about a niche interest website. SpongeBob on the Nile is an archive of all things SpongeBob in Arab countries. Apparently, our four-cornered friend who lives in a pineapple under the sea is a massive star in the Middle East. Not sure why. Here he is making an appearance as Ramadan decorations...

 

Not sure why.

 

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I have to admit, I adored Ricky Gervais' new Netflix series Derek.

 

Derek

 

It has received extremely mixed reviews, but the negative reviews all seemed to be people expecting the show to be just like The Office or Extras, which it absolutely isn't. Or they expect Gervais to be the snarky, irreverent guy they've seen on the Golden Globes, which he absolutely isn't. I mean, it's not even an actual comedy. I found myself weeping from every episode. It's just so incredibly sweet. It's a show about...kindness. How rare is that?! A tv show about kind people doing kind things! Gervais plays Derek, a mentally challenged man who works in an old folks home. I'm afraid that his performance as Derek is the weakest aspect of the series. The real stars of the show are Gervais' writing and directing and actress Kerry Godliman, who plays Derek's boss, Hannah. She is absolutely terrific. I really highly recommend it.

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Could happen.

 

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Did y'all know that Sunday was National Go Topless Day? Did you even know that "equal topless rights for all" was an issue? I did not know either of these things. Topless women marched in locations all around the world carrying signs proclaiming things like "Gender equality for all", "War is indecent, not my breasts" and "Free your breasts, free your mind". I feel like this is just the silliest damned nonissue. Am I wrong? While I absolutely believe that my breasts are in no way indecent or "dirty". I also believe that they are a "private part" and I don't want my 10-year old son looking at ladies boobies! And unlike men's chests, women's breasts are sexual. They just are. Perhaps they have been "sexualized" by society, but they are sexual nonetheless, and frankly I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I'm glad my boobs are sexy. Not much of me is anymore. What do you think?

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Anybody who knows anything about New York real estate would love this site - 6 Castles That Cost Less Than an Apartment in New York.

A couple of my favorites...

For $2,325,956, you could buy this house...

 

Chateau Blavou is a 10-bedroom, 8-bathroom castle set in a peaceful 27-acre section in Normandy. This property comes complete with a vaulted cellar, a dining room that seats 60+ guests, a cellar/bar area with access to the garden, a wine cellar, food preparation room, two greenhouses, a caretaker’s house, a guest house, and a function room that seats 210 people.

 

or for $2,550,000, you could buy this...

The ad from Craigslist says that this 4-bed townhouse in Williamsburg Brooklyn has the “potential” for a backyard.

 

For $5,066250 you could buy this place...

 

Château Mirwart is a 45-bedroom, 45-bathroom palace in historic Belgian Arden. It was built on a rock rising above the “Vallée de la l’Homme,” and the oldest sections of the building date back to the seventh century.

 

or for $5,495,000 you could buy this place...

A 4-bedroom townhouse located in Greenwich Village. The kitchen doesn’t really have space for a table.

Kinda puts things in perspective, right?

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That's it for today's randomness. Go visit Stacy and the others!

 

 

RTT: Time Suck, Chickpeas and Sketches

 

TIME SUCK ALERT:

Retronaut.  "See the past like you wouldn't believe." So cool. It's a website devoted to what I would define as "cool, old pictures". This one is totally up your alley Michele. You can search by era, category or topic clusters. It's a treasure trove. A few random items...

 

Marcel Proust playing air guitar on a tennis racket.

Letter from Mick Jagger to Andy Warhol.

Utah girls with perms, circa 1987.

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I read a fascinating article the other day that said that a bunch of tobacco farmers in Virginia have decided to stop growing tobacco and instead plant...I love this...chickpeas. I guess hummus is now more profitable than cigarettes. They interviewed an old tobacco farmer who said that his wife had made him his first chickpeas the other day. His sweetly taciturn review? "They tasted pretty good." I love that.

 

Chickpeas. Pretty good.

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This is kind of amazing. A Spanish anti-abuse ad that is only visible to children. The ads are made using something called lenticular printing, which shows a different picture depending on the angle from which it's viewed. From an adult perspective, the photo shows this...

With the caption "Sometimes, child abuse is only visible to the child suffering it."

but from a child's point of view, they see this...

 

And they see the caption "If someone hurts you, phone us and we'll help."

 

Pretty smart, right?

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Yes.

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Okay, this totally made me cry. What an amazing lesson for everyone!

 

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Go visit Stacy and the other random thinkers!

Moonwalk

July 21, 1969

I remember it well. I was 8-years old.

I had put on my nightgown and gone to bed at 8:00 pm, my usual time, and gone to sleep.

But then, at about 9:30 at night, Mama came into my room and woke me up. Something important was about to happen.

She led me into the living room, and snuggled up with me on the sofa with a blanket and a pillow. Daddy was sitting in his chair, and our big console color television was tuned in to a news program.

Earlier that day, Apollo 11 had landed on the surface of the moon, and everyone in the world was tuned into their television sets, waiting for a miracle to happen.

At 9:56 pm CST, Neil Armstrong made his way out the door of the tiny lunar module, and we all held our breaths...

 

I remember Mama starting to cry, and Daddy getting stoicly quiet as we watched these two amazingly brave Americans erect our country's flag on the surface of the moon, so far, far away.

Through my life, I've watched many memorable events on television - the towers crumbling on 9/11, the Challenger disaster, the OJ car chase, the funeral of Princess Diana, the levees breaking during Hurricane Katrina, the LA riots. But all of those events were tragic and shocking. 

July 21, 1969 was a triumph. It was a moment when everyone in America tuned in to proudly watch our country's success. We all cheered along with those men in the shirts and ties gathered in that huge room at Mission Control in Houston, not far from where I sat in my living room with my family.

I wonder if I'll ever again see an event which brings our country that much pride. I fear not.

What television news story made the biggest impression on you when you were a kid?

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This post was inspired by...

 

 

Prompt #1 -  How old were you? Share one of the first news stories you remember caring about.

 

Spin Cycle: My Favorite Quotes

A few things I wish I'd said first...

 

My mantra.

 

Isn't it true?!

I have this taped to a cabinet in the kitchen. I read it every day. And try to remember it always.

Good old Abe.

 

My favorite prayer.

A great truth.

The theme of Camp Mama, and neatly sums up my experience as a parent.

I wish that everyone I know would read and understand this.

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Please go and check out the other "Quotes" spinners...

Nain at View From Down Here

SuziCate at The Water Witch's Daughter

Jan at Jan's Sushi Bar

Janice at I Got Nothing

Michele at It's a Dog's Life 

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me

Kendra at Life in the slow lane

Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY!

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Apple/Tree

As in "...doesn't fall far from...".

Which tree did you fall directly beneath? Do you find words coming out of your mouth and then gasp "Holy Christ, I've become my mother!"? Do you look down and see your father's ugly, bony feet sticking out the bottom of your pants?

Or maybe you are the tree. Do you see things in your children that are JUST LIKE YOU?

Is all of this a good thing? Or a curse? Do you revel in the sameness? Or gasp in horror?

Write your spin on "Apple/Tree". Post it. Tell me. I'll link it.

Come back next Friday for my take on "Apple/Tree" and to get the next week's spin topic.

Happy spinning!

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Fun With Cascarones (Confetti Eggs)

When I was a little girl, my friend Flavia's mom used to make cascarones every year for Easter. What is a cascarón, you ask? Well I will tell you.

Cascarones are confetti-filled eggs, traditional in Mexico and particularly popular along the US/Mexican border, where Flavia's mom lived when she was a little girl. Cascarones are traditionally thrown at someone, or even better, cracked over someone's head. It's BIG fun, y'all. It's also kind of a mess, so if you have an issue with lots of confetti and egg shells all over your yard, take it to the park. But MAKE them, your kids will thank you!

Here's what you do...

1. Using a needle, poke a hole in one end of the eggs, bigger than a pinhead, but no bigger than ¼" in diameter.

2. Turn the eggs over, and poke a larger hole, about nickel-sized to quarter-sized on the other end.

3. Carefully, blow into the small hole, pushing the contents of the eggshell out of the egg, and into a bowl. It can be done. You'll end up with sore cheeks, unless you happen to be a trumpet player.

4. Wash the residual egg out of the eggshells.

5. Dye the eggs with food coloring, the same way you'd dye any Easter eggs.

6. Let the colored eggs dry thoroughly - they need to be dry both inside and outside.

7. Gently, fill each egg with confetti. This is a mess. I suggest using some kind of funnel. I bought bags of confetti at the party store, but you could easily make your own by just dumping your shredder. I suggest NOT buying the metallic/Mylar confetti, because if it ends up all over the yard, you will want to kill yourself. Use something biodegradable. You will thank me.

8. Next, cut out a bunch of little squares of tissue paper, I'd say 1½ " X 1 ½".

 

Cut them according to the size of your egg holes.

 

9. Squeeze a little circle of good ol' Elmer's Glue around the larger hole in the egg, and cover it with the piece of tissue paper, thus closing the hole.

10. Give them to your adoring children and allow them to crack them on each others skulls.

11. Bask in the adoration of your children for being the coolest mom ever.

NOTE REGARDING WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THAT DANG EGG:

FREEZE them. Yes, it's true. But you need to prep them a little bit or weird things happen to them in the freezer. After you've blown the eggs out of all your eggshells, you first have to scramble them. Then, add 1/2 tsp. of salt for every cup of raw egg if you're saving them for savory dishes. If you want to save them for sweet dishes, you simply mix in 1 tbsp. of sugar per cup of egg. Don't forget that you've added salt or sugar when you use the eggs, or you'll end up with a really salty omelette! You can then put them in freezer containers, and they'll keep for up to a year! Viva frittata!

Felices Pascuas everybody!

 

Trying So Hard to Be Good

Have any of you found a decent replacement for Google Reader? Do y'all even use Google Reader?

For those of you who have no idea what the hell I'm talking about:

Google Reader is a "news reading platform". Which basically means it's a place where you can bookmark all of your favorite blogs and websites. Then they'll keep track of what is read and what is unread and who has posted something new. It's very convenient if you're someone who keeps up with a bunch of blogs.

Which I'm not. I'm supposed to be, since I'm...a blogger. But as all of you who are my fellow bloggers know, I am terrible at keeping up. I'll go through little spurts when I'm super on top of things - reading and commenting like crazy. But then I get distracted (and lazy) and suddenly, I'll go to my Google Reader and they'll say I have 240 unread posts so I just kind of freak out and start hitting "Mark all as Read" and give up.

But since (as many of you already know because of all my whining) I have given up games for Lent, I suddenly have much more time for things such as reading, and I've been trying to be better. Not much better, but a little better.

So the other day, I went to my Google Reader and they say that it's closing on July 1! I don't know why.

I started poking around on the web, and found some alternate sites that I thought I'd try, but I swear, I've never had more trouble doing anything on the computer. This was harder than when I built my little Spin Cycle button thingy, and that just about killed me. This is not a user-friendly deal, y'all!

First, I tried a place called Feedly, which seemed promising because it was so pretty. Much more attractive than Google Reader - sort of looks like you're reading a magazine. At first I thought "fabulous!" because they allowed me to sync my Google Reader subscriptions and "follows" really easily. But then things got wonky. I can't figure out how to add a new website. Yes, I click "Add Website" and a little thingy pops up, but they only let me add their "suggested" websites. And I can't figure out how to edit and delete sites - I can with some,  not with others. And for some reason, it lists the blogs I'm following twice - the same blogs twice, like I accidentally duplicated them, but I didn't. I swear.  So this is all very frustrating.

Second, I tried The Old Reader, which is billed as being just like what Google Reader used to be, before they "upgraded" it. So I thought it would be easier. Yeah, right. After about an hour, I managed to import my Google Reader contents, via something called an OPML file. Don't ask. I don't even know how I did it, I just kept pushing buttons until something worked. But then...The Old Reader says, "Thank you for uploading your OPML file. We will soon start importing your subscriptions, which might take up to several hours depending on the amount of feeds you have. There are 27177 users in the import queue ahead of you."

Yes, that is right, 27177 users in front of me! It has said this for over 24 hours now. Apparently, everybody is bailing on Google Reader at the same time, and The Old Reader folks weren't prepared for all the traffic. This morning they posted something on the site apologizing, and assuring us that they "were able to ramp up the queue processing speed, so it should move along much faster now." Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.

Then I decided to try NewsBlur (and yes, I am going down a list of "5 Best Google Reader Alternatives"), but after I signed up, they told me that "Due to overwhelming demand, free accounts are temporarily suspended." and then they suggested I go "premium" for $24 a month. %&#$@!

So I've temporarily given up. Does anybody have any ideas?

Oh look, it's now been several hours since I wrote the above, and The Old Reader says I now only have 27014 users in the import queue ahead of me. Woohoo!!! (That was sarcasm)

Oh, by the way...it's my birthday. I realize that by now, most of you have stopped reading this long and boring rant about technical nonsense, so you probably won't read this. How old am I? 143. And I think I'm looking good for my age.

Spin Cycle: 11 Dream Vacations

Oh dear Lord, do I need a vacation. I mean a real vacation, not two weeks at my in-laws house, sleeping on the tilt-o-slab, sharing a bathroom with 5 other people and doing half the cooking. I mean going some place fabulous and beautiful and indulgent, and being treated like a queen.

And since this is not likely to happen anytime in the near future, I have spent the last week with a Mai Tai in my hand, cruising not the Caribbean, but...the internet. After much web-trolling, I present you with 11 Dream Vacations. Why 11? Because I couldn't narrow it down to 10! I probably don't need to mention that in my dream vacation world, money is no object. And I have the body I had 15 years ago.

So please, pour yourself a cocktail, preferably something with a little umbrella garnish, sit back and enjoy...

1. Four Seasons Bora Bora

Oh yeah, it's Bora Bora, baby.

 

According to the website, this suite here...

Over-the-water Bungalow Suite with Plunge Pool

...has a view of the "lagoon" and of Mount Otemanu. And if the entire South Pacific isn't a good enough swimming spot for you, you can step right out of your bedroom into your private "plunge pool". And while Mom and Dad are busy plunging, they can get rid of the kids every day, I mean, give their kids a fabulous Polynesian adventure, by putting them in the Kids Club, where they have full days of planned activities. Nice.

2. Chateau de La Chevere D'Or

The French Riviera. Royalty, the Jet Set...me.

The view from my suite.

The Presidential Suite boasts a "superb terrace perched above the sea" with its own private infinity pool and jacuzzi. Fabrice, the chef in the restaurant has two Michelin stars, and the wine list includes such fabulousness as a Château Lafite Rothschild 1918. I am weak with desire.

3. The Tree House Suite Bleue

Prepare yourself. A tree house. Over a field of lavender. In Italy.

The ultimate aromatherapy.

Arlena di Castro, Lazio, Italy. A tiny dream nest, perched in a 100-year old oak tree, over 12 hectares of lavender hills. I have no idea how much a hectare is, but it seems like enough. And every morning, they raise a tiny dumbwaiter filled with this...

So very...European

4. Ashford Castle 

To get my Downton Abbey fix.

A castle in County Galway, Ireland, once owned by...get ready...the Guinness Family. Estate activities include golf, fly-fishing, shooting, archery, equestrian, FALCONRY (seriously, haven't you always wanted to play with a falcon?) and of course...Guinness. And I know that Irish Cuisine is considered an oxymoron, but the menu at the restaurant looks exquisite, sort of like it's been revamped by Gordon Ramsay, as it's filled with local and estate-grown foods.

5. Four Seasons New York

Truly, I'm blessed to have Aunt Grace's apartment to stay in when I'm in the Big Apple, but this really would be an outrageous treat. Check this out...

A (bath)Room With a View

Designed by I. M. Pei, and described as a "beacon of sophistication". I want the suite with this in it...

But only if it comes with a sexy piano player who plays Gershwin all night.

6. Cove Spring House 

Many years ago, Jimmy and I went to an amazing wedding in Barbados. The wealthy boss of the friend who was getting married rented a gorgeous villa for the wedding party. I would love to recreate that, sans the wedding, as the couple ended up divorced, but that's another story.

Heaven.

10 bedrooms, it's own private beach. Imagine 20 of your closest friends sharing the place for a week! And everything's taken care of for you! The staff includes a chef, sous chef, cook and kitchen assistant, butler, housekeepers, gardeners, security and a laundress. Who's in?

7. Icehotel

Those wacky Danes! An artsy hotel made entirely of ice.

Each bedroom is sculpted from ice by a different artist.

They swear that inside the Icehotel it never gets colder than -8 C, but just in case that's a little too nippy for you, the beds are made from ice blocks, but topped with wood, then a mattress and thermal sleeping bag, and you are then encased in reindeer skins. And in the morning, they thaw you out by delivering a cup of hot lingonberry juice. Skol!

8. The Christina O

Cruise the Mediterranean from Greece aboard the Christina O, yes, the very yacht which once belonged to Aristotle Onassis and Jackie O, and entertained Frank Sinatra, Grace Kelly and Marilyn Monroe.

My yacht.

This would be another great group vacation, as the Christina O has 19 suites, and a crew of 34.

The Christina O's daily rate seems to be 65,000 Euros. Hmmm, is that a lot?

You know Marilyn must have gone swimming here in the nude.

9. Private Island in Adirondacks

Sweet, right?

You know, this one is actually...doable. A cozy cabin in upstate New York. Your own little island, far away from the hustle and bustle. Maybe we could get away from the in-laws one weekend?! You can canoe or swim or just lie there in the hammock. Sigh...

10. Governors' Camp Safari

In the heart of Kenya's Masai Mara National Reserve.

 

I'm thinking the scene in Jungle Book when Mowgli wants to join the elephant patrol with Colonel Hathi.

 

Amazing, right? The tents are on the Mara River, which the site says is teeming with "bird-life, hippo and crocodile". And they swear that there are toilets.

 

All I'd need is Robert Redford to wash my hair. I guess Jimmy would have to do.

 

11. Hotel Santa Caterina 

Ah, Amalfi!

I have always, always wanted to visit the Amalfi Coast of Italy. The website lists a bunch of activities, but who would want to do anything other than just lie here and bask?

And the menu at the restaurant actually makes me weak in the knees.

According to the internets...Brad and Angelina stayed here. And if it's good enough for them...

Well, that's the end of my list. I'm exhausted from all this traveling.

Alas, I fear that my next real "vacation" will involve camping with a bunch of Cub Scouts with an air mattress and no toilet. But a girl can dream, can't she?

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And as long as you're along for the trip, visit our other Dream Vacationers and see where they'd go if they had their druthers...

Kendra at Life in the slow lane

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me

Stacy at Stacy Uncorked - NEW on FRIDAY

Nain at View From Down Here - NEW on FRIDAY

Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY

 Patty at Pancakes Gone Awry - NEW on FRIDAY

Janice at I Got Nothing - NEW on MONDAY!

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Sometimes,

Inspired by the amazing Arnebya at What Now and Why? Check out her post HERE. For those of you who don't read Arnebya, she's one of the best blog writers I know, with a unique voice and tremendous humor. She's honest and smart, and while she always surprises me, I also always identify with her.

So check out Arnebya and see what she sometimes does. Then make it your own.

Sometimes, I write an entire post, then get to the end and have absolutely no idea how to end it, so I sort of hem and haw and try to be clever, but then just give up and end it, hoping that everybody just thinks I'm pithy, and not clueless.

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