The middle-aged spread to be specific. I just keep spreading. And spreading.
I used to be extremely fit. Seriously. I was one of those weirdo gym rats. I had rocking legs and Michelle Obama arms. I was actually comfortable in a bikini. I know that there's nothing more boring and pathetic than someone telling you how they used to look. But I used to look good.
Now? Ugh. My ass is sagging. My fleshy belly has overflowed. My arm wattle flaps in the breeze. It's sad.
And it can't be a healthy thing. I have an eleven-year old. I need to stay healthy, damn it.
I am a failure at dieting. I just can't stick with it. Before I hit the whole menopause thing, I used to be able to diet hard for about two months and drop a bunch of weight. Now? It's slooooooow going, so I get bored and lose interest. And spread.
So I've decided I have to get back to the gym. The new YMCA up the street from me is finally open and I have joined up. Over the last few of weeks I've managed to get there five times a week. Which I think is pretty gym-rattish. The people who work there actually know me now. I try to mix things up. I run on the treadmill. I do the elliptical machine. I take a Pilates class. I take spin classes. I do the weight machines. I do the free weights.
I drag my saggy butt to those classes and sit there with a room full of other middle-aged ladies all trying to conquer the spread, trying not to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror in my tight yoga pants. I've become quite devoted to Loren, my tall, elegant Pilates instructor, who makes me sore in places I haven't felt in years. And it's not as dirty as that just sounded.
I've also been street running. Which is harder on the old knees and hips than the treadmill, but it feels really good. Looky, I got me some new wheels...
Because black is slimming.
Yesterday morning I did 2.60 miles, which I think is damned good for an old lady. I've discovered that I can use my dorky music to motivate myself. I have created an extremely eclectic "Running" playlist, which I listen to on my earpods while hitting the streets. I've discovered that when I listen on Shuffle and then just run to the tempo of whatever inspirational song pops up I get a pretty good workout. I'm afraid I also tend to sing along. Really loud.
"Cause tramps like us. Baby we were born to run...."
"Hey Sister, go Sister, Soul Sister, go Sister."
"Why don't we d-do it in the road?"
"Big wheels keep on turning, proud Mary keep on burning. Rolling. Rolling. Rolling on the river."
"Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah." ('cause everybody needs a little Peaches and Herb)
Sometimes, people driving past me will smile and give a "You go girl!" kind of look. I used to think it was because I looked so strong and runnerish. But I've come to realize that they're thinking "Oh isn't that sweet, poor old saggy thing running like that. Good for her!" But I don't really care.
Have I lost weight? No. I have not. However...I'm feeling good. Oo! That's on my Running playlist too...
I've been getting that endorphin rush thing. Nice. And I think my extremities are starting to firm up - arms, legs, neck. Unfortunately, the mid-section is still a disaster, but I'm hoping that if I keep it up, they will eventually melt away a bit. I'm not expecting to refind my hard body of 15 years ago, but just being able to put on a pair of jeans with no muffintop spilling over the waistband would be very nice.
Anybody have ideas of inspirational songs to add to my Running playlist?
And go see Ginny Marie and the other Conquer spinners!
July is National Picnic Month (who knew, right?). How about we all share our favorite picnic memories/ideas? Do you have a favorite picnic spot? Day? What are your favorite picnic foods? Extra points for pictures and recipes!
Write your post on Picnic. Post it. Add it in the Linky below. Come back on Friday for Ginny Marie and my posts on Picnic.
I'll send you off which a little picnicking music!
Share your spin! Highlight the code. Copy to your HTML. Et voila! Linked!
We're Kicking Off Summer here at the Spin Cycle this week!
Have you pulled out the tank tops? Packed the beach bags? Stocked up on sunscreen? Squeezed into a swim suit? Gone for a bikini wax? Dusted off the grill? Blown up the pool floaties? Loaded the water pistols? Made the lemonade?
Write your post on how you and yours are Kicking Off Summer. Post it. Link it in the Linky below. Come back on Friday for Ginny Marie and my spins on Kicking Off Summer.
Alright, I'm going to go pour myself a nice iced tea, lay in front of the fan and crank up a little Sly and the Family Stone...
Share your spin! Highlight the code. Copy to your HTML. Et voila! Linked!
Jimmy and his dad, Pop, have a running joke. Every time Jimmy calls and asks for Mommy, Pop says sarcastically "That's alright, Mister. How important are fathers anyway?" Jimmy always laughs and gives a funny reply that suggests that he's sorry and that Pop is surely terribly important.
But really? I'm pretty sure that there are about a zillion layers of passive-aggressive anger behind this entire exchange, all relating to Pop's past performance as a father. Not that he was a bad father. I guess it's a question of how one would define "bad". Mommy has a saying which she tore out of a magazine and taped to the inside of the basement door, right in the perfect place so Pop has to look at it every time he goes downstairs to get a beer from the extra refrigerator. It says "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother." Yes, Mommy is a master of the passive aggression.
Because Pop was NOT a good husband. Yes, he provided. No, he wasn't a drunk or physically abusive. However, he was...I might as well be blunt...a philanderer. His years of philandering culminated in "The Hiatus", the 20 years during which Pop had left Mommy and lived with "That Woman". I highly recommend reading THIS post, which tells the whole bloody, juicy saga. So despite the fact that Pop sees himself as the family hero, the excellent provider who always took care of everyone, the truth is that he basically thoroughly screwed everybody up.
But then along came Jude, Pop's one and only grandchild and a manchild no less, and the man complete transformed. He is the Uber-Grandpa. He adores that boy, and that boy adores him. It's a lovely thing to witness.
The only human being ever allowed to squeeze Pop's nose.
Pop teaching Jude boxing moves from his Golden Gloves days.
I never had a grandfather. Mama's father died in 1935 when she was 11 years old, and Daddy's father passed in 1941. I have no idea what it's like to have a grandfather, but I have many preconceived ideas, and...dreams. And Jude and Pop's relationship thoroughly achieves them.
They have their little "things"...
They play the lottery.
They go to the ball game.
They go to the beach.
But mostly they have deep, meaningful talks.
Having a deep, meaningful talk.
Last summer, I left Jude with Mommy and Pop while I went into Manhattan to see friends, and when I came back, I discovered that Pop had taken it upon himself to explain to Jude the meaning of life. This was serious stuff, and when I asked Jude to tell me about it afterwards he informed me that really it was between Grandpa and him. Put me right in my place. I was able to piece together that there was much talk about growing up and responsibility and respect for family and respect for women (ha!). All very dear.
A couple of months ago, they had "the talk" in Jude's fifth grade class. The boys and girls were separated and each were told about puberty and their changing bodies by a parent/physician. Afterwards, I told him that if he wanted to, this might be a good time to talk to Daddy about these things (I had already given him "the talk" about the birds and the bees, but it was pretty clinical). Jude looked thoughtful then said "Nah, I think I'll wait and talk to Grandpa about it. I bet he can tell me a thing or two about puberty." And I think this is true.
Back in 2011, Jude interviewed Pop for an Oral History project in school. Below is the link to the interview. I know it's long, but it's amazingly wonderful, and oh so Pop, filled with hyperbole and stories of questionable veracity. And you get to hear Jude's sweet little teeny boy voice. I am the loudmouth who is "helping" a little too much. Skip through the first minute or two to get to the good stuff.
When I was pulling this file, Jude heard it and got embarrassed. He thought he sounded dumb. But I know that in years to come, he will cherish this audio file with all his heart.
I guess fathers are important after all.
__________________________________
Don't you dare leave without visiting our other Fathers spinners!
Come back on Monday to find out Ginny Marie and my Spin Cycle topic for next week. And a heads up that I'll be starting Camp Mama 2014 next week. Yep, it's that time of year!
Share your spin! Highlight the code. Copy to your HTML. Et voila! Linked!
...week here on the Spin Cycle. It's almost Father's Day, so Ginny Marie and I decided it was time to honor those special men who have made our lives so special. Is he Dear Old Dad or a deadbeat dad?
Write your spin on Fathers. Post it. Link it in the Linky below. Come back on Friday for Ginny Marie and my spins on Fathers. Don't forget to include the Spin Button below...
Share your spin! Highlight the code. Copy to your HTML. Et voila! Linked!
It's almost Spring Break time! And though this year, Jude and I will be heading for DISNEY WORLD (oh, yeah!), usually, we never get to go anywhere. So what's your idea of the perfect Staycation? You could just stay home and relax and get a thing of two done around her house. Or maybe, you could stay in town, but escape to a hotel or some other getaway. I have to say, there are MANY places here in Los Angeles I would love to visit, but never have the excuse. Have you ever actually taken a "Staycation"? Or is it just a dream?
Write your spin on Staycation. Post it. Link it in the Linky below any time this week. Check back on Friday for Ginny Marie and my spins on Staycation.
Share your spin! Highlight the code. Copy to your HTML. Et voila! Linked!
I've always thought that I must be at least a bit Irish, because I identify with it all so completely. So I did the Ancestry.com thing and discovered a tiny bit of Irish blood, we're talking six generations back. But it is there. The Logans, from County Westmeath.
I LOVE this crest so much! Not only does it boast TWO stabbed, bloody hearts, but the motto translates to "The valour of my ancesters."
Those are me people! I'm an Irish lassie!
And so, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I present my personal favorite Irish things.
Stout
Ah stout! The perfect food. It neatly combines booze and dessert. It's sort of an entire food group unto itself. While Guinness is certainly the iconic Irish stout, I asked my friend Brian, who is a proud Irishman and a beer geek, I mean, mmm...expert (and his wife reads this blog, hi Laura), and he says that the very best Irish stout is actually Murphy's Stout, from Cork, Ireland.
Guinness devotees don't shoot the messenger, this is Brian's opinion! But he does really know his beer.
And he says if you want to go domestic, buy Black Bear Stout from Bear Republic Brewery, which I've had and is to die for.
Literature
Although the Irish didn't invent the English language, they certainly perfected it. Irish folks just know how to turn a phrase. The number of great writers who have come out of that tiny green island is staggering - James Joyce, George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Jonathan Swift, William Butler Yeats, Samuel Beckett, Seamus Heaney - feel free to add your favorite to the list.
Van Morrison
I know that most people consider U2 to be the best Irish rockers ever, but for me nobody compares to Van the Man. Van just always touches my soul and puts me in my happy place. Part rock, part jazz, completely soulful and totally sexy. Both Moondance and Poetic Champions Compose are near-perfect albums. Most people know him for his big hits like Brown-Eyed Girl and Moondance, but most of my favorites are the "deep-cuts. The perfect slow-dance music. Oh yeah...
Corned Beef and Cabbage
Though "Irish cook" is often thought of as an oxymoron, there are quite a few iconic Irish dishes that are amazing. The following is my friend Amanda's recipe for Corned Beef and Cabbage. Amanda is a damned good cook, and an Irish lass. She took several versions of this and tweaked and perfected it, and she has generously allowed me to share it with y'all. It takes the standard Corned Beef recipe and kicks it to another level. And you have to love any recipe that involves this much liquor!
Amanda's Corned Beef and Cabbage
Based on a House & Garden 1965 Recipe
Serves 4 with leftovers
5 pounds corned brisket of beef (I use the flat cut)
2 bottles Guinness (large bottles)
6 peppercorns, or packaged pickling spices
3 carrots, peeled and quartered
3 onions, peeled and quartered
1 medium-sized green cabbage, quartered or cut in wedges
Melted butter (about 4 tbsp.)
For glaze:
Whole grain ground mustard (or Dijon)
Brown sugar
Place the corned beef in the slow cooker and add with 1.5 bottles Guinness, and water to cover. Set slow cooker for all day (minimum 6 hours, I would say, or up to 10 hours on low). After about an hour, I skim off the scum and add the seasoning packet, a little ground Mustard powder, and a little more Guinness to cover. I then let it cook all day.
If you want to serve the corned beef with cabbage and carrots: About an hour and a half before it is scheduled to be done, add the carrots and onion. During the last 45 -30 min. (depending on how “crunchy” you like your cabbage), add the cabbage. You can skip the vegetable step if you just want the corned beef for sandwiches or hash.
Remove the cooked corned beef, and slather it with a glaze of equal parts whole grain mustard (or Dijon if you prefer, or a mix of the two) and brown sugar. Put the glazed corned beef in a 400 degree oven for 20 minutes or so, until the glaze browns a bit.
The vegetables should be done at the same time as that finishes. Brush the vegetables with melted butter to serve.
Alternate glaze recipe:
¾ cup bourbon
¾ cup apple juice
3 Tbsp. Mustard
1.5 cup brown sugar
DELICIOUS!
Irish Saints
Anybody who knows me well knows that I'm a bit of a saint geek. I love me the saints. And while we all celebrate St. Patrick, there are actually quite a few really good Irish saint stories.
St. Patrick - So...he wasn't really Irish, and he probably wasn't really named Patrick, and he certainly wasn't the first missionary to Ireland and didn't really convert all of Ireland single-handedly and most likely there weren't really any snakes there for him to get rid of. But we love him anyway. He had been kidnapped and enslaved by Irish pirates, then after he finally got home, decided to go back to do some converting. Which seems pretty brave to me, so I'll give him the snake thing.
St. Brendan the Navigator - May or may not have been the first European reach North America, crossing the Atlantic in his tiny currah. He and his crew sailed for seven years and he said he baptized several mermaids, and once saw Judas Iscariot taking a vacation from hell on a passing iceberg.
St. Brigid - I love pretty much every story about this Patroness of Ireland. As a young girl, she was known to magically multiply the the household supply of butter.She desperately wanted to become a nun, but because of her beauty was constantly pursued by suitors, so she prayed to be ugly, and God answered her prayers, helping her to become grotesquely disfigured. After becoming a nun, her bathwater was often transformed into beer for the thirsty clerics and she was known to hang her cloak on a sunbeam to dry. By some crazy coincidence, her feast day is the same as that of a pagan goddess also know as Brigid. Who'd have thought?
St. Columba - The patron of both Ireland and of poets, which is fitting, right? Columba was one of those famous Irish scribes who copied manuscripts, but also wrote verse himself. His copying a manuscript without the author's permission led to the first copyright infringement lawsuit, and eventually an actual war. As penance for having caused a war, Columba banished himself from his beloved Ireland, living in Scotland from which he swore he could see the hills of Ireland. While in Scotland, he did some cool stuff, like banishing a monster from the river Ness to live in the loch. He did eventually go back to Ireland when the High King attempted to outlaw the Poets Guild. Columba gave an impassioned defense of poetry and verse, and saved Irish poetry forever.
Denis Leary
I must confess a life-long weakness for Irish badboys. Something about the weird combination of smartass/drunk/funny/Catholic has always gotten to me. Denis is the epitome of all these things. He drinks and curses and is hysterical, yet has been married to his wife since 1989. He met his wife at Emerson College, which I was thiiiiiiiiiiis close to attending (Daddy nixed the expense), but if I had gone, I just know he would have married ME instead. I'm sure of it. Hmm...Mrs. Denis Leary. Sigh... Anyway, here is a video of Denis singing the funniest Irish song ever written. The lyrics actually make me cry with laughter. Enjoy...
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
__________________________________
Don't miss Ginny Marie and my other St. Patrick's Day spinners! It's not too late to add your post in the Linky below.
Check back on Monday for next week's Spin Cycle topic!
Share your spin! Highlight the code. Copy to your HTML. Et voila! Linked!
Grab a pint of Guinness and dance a jig and join us for some St. Paddy's spinning! Everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's Day!
Irish food, Irish drink, Irish sayings. What is your favorite part about St. Patrick's?
Maybe you have a craft for the kids? A favorite recipe? A bit of blarney?
Or maybe you have a really embarrassing story that involves that time you imbibed a shameful amount of Guinness and Jamesons with that bunch of drunken Irishmen and it all ended badly when...oh wait, mmmm...maybe I shouldn't share that one.
Write your spin on St. Patrick's Day.
Post it, link it in the Linky below. Come back on Friday for Ginny Marie and my spins on St. Patrick's Day!
Don't forget to wear the green! Erin Go Bragh!
Share your spin! Highlight the code. Copy to your HTML. Et voila! Linked!
