Camp Mama 2014 Week Six: Chicle

Several years ago, my best friend Sharon's dad, Henry, retired, and immediately started driving his wife, Sylvia, crazy. Sylvia, who is Mexican-American, came up with a nickname for him - Chicle - because he was like a piece of bubble gum stuck to her shoe - she couldn't get rid of him.

Yep, Chicle. That's Jimmy since he's been stuck home convalescing after his long hospital stay. He's home all day. Every day. This is what Jimmy does to fill his days of late...

• Complains.
• Watches daytime television.
• Tells me what to do.

Um...yep, that's about it.

FADE IN:

Jimmy sits on the sofa with his laptop on his lap. He stares at the screen, confused, then lets out a moan.

JIMMY

Aaaaagh! You gotta come here and look at this! I was trying

to send Joey one of those Facebook secret message things, and

now I think I've got it where everybody can see it.

Gretchen begrudgingly looks over his shoulder, then sighs.

GRETCHEN

Yes, you have posted the message on Joey's wall for all

to see, not in a private message that only Joey can see.

JIMMY

You GOTTA show me how to do that private message thing!

GRETCHEN

Jimmy, I have shown you how to do that private

message thing four hundred and eighty-seven thousand

times.

JUDE

(eavesdropping from other room)

That's an exaggeration, Mom!

JIMMY

(frustrated)

Well show me again, okay? Is that too much to ask?

Gretchen shows Jimmy how to send a private Facebook message. ONE minute goes by.

JIMMY

Aaaagh! Did I do it again? I think I did it again! You gotta

show me how to do that again!

GRETCHEN

Four hundred and eighty-seven thousand and two times.

JUDE

(from other room)

That's another exaggeration, Mom!

Gretchen sighs and walks away. Jimmy continues to stare, confused at the computer. Jude continues to be a tween.

                                                                                                                                             FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

Gretchen is in the kitchen doing dishes. Jimmy enters, all hyped up.

JIMMY

I was just watching that Dr. Oz show. We gotta get Jude to

eat more vegetables!

GRETCHEN

Really???! I never thought of that! What a startling scientific

discovery that Dr. Oz has made! I can't believe that I never

before knew that Jude should eat more vegetables! I'll get

right on that!

JUDE

(from calling out from other room)

That's sarcasm, Mom, isn't it?

Gretchen continues to do dishes. Jimmy continues to talk about the need for vegetables. Jude continues to be a tween.

                                                                                                                   FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

Gretchen walks into the living room and finds it in complete chaos. Jimmy is in the office pulling everything out of the closet. He has already emptied every drawer and pulled all the furniture out of the office into the living room. She stares, stunned. Jude is "helping" move boxes around, clearly not enjoying himself.

JIMMY

I've decided to clean out the office and rearrange all

the furniture. Jude's helping.

Jude gives Gretchen a sad, pleading look. Gretchen stares a beat longer, then heads to the kitchen to locate a hot poker with which to gouge her eyes out.

Jimmy continues to take the office apart but not put it back together. Gretchen continues to bang her head against a wall. Jude continues to be a tween.

                                                                                                                   FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

Gretchen finds Jude in his room. She speaks to him in a hushed but desperate tone.

GRETCHEN

You've got to help me. You've got to get Daddy out of this

house. He's making me crazy.

JUDE

But I'm right in the middle...

GRETCHEN

Get him to take you somewhere. I don't care where. Ask

him to take you to Larchmont to walk around.

JUDE

But I don't want to...

GRETCHEN

Tell him that a nice easy walk on Larchmont would be

 good for him to get his strength back. Maybe he will buy

you a Frappuccino or something.

JUDE

I don't know...I'm kind of...

GRETCHEN

I'll give you money.

JUDE

How much?

A compromise is reached. Gretchen continues to be driven crazy. Jimmy continues to be chicle. Jude continues to be a tween.

                                                                                                                        FADE OUT.

Comments

[janice adcock]

Oh, so much empathy! And laughing. Gene's thoracic surgeon told him to walk, walk, walk then walk some more. Sure helped us both!

[AimeeWrites]

It's a shame you have to be dead to be canonized. Truly, truly, St. Gretchen. (Patron saint of...Boy Scout moms, fancy cocktails, and seafood dinners?)