Okay, so I watched the Grammy's. And I have the the following questions...
Why doesn't anybody sing songs by themselves anymore? Every song seems to be "featuring" somebody. Daft Punk (featuring Pharrel Williams and Nile Rodgers). Robin Thicke (featuring TI and Pharrel Williams). Pink (featuring Nate Ruess). Is it a fad? A gimmick? Do record companies think nobody will buy the records with only one star on them?
Why, on the Grammy's, does every single act have to be one of these stunt pairings where some old dude and some young dude sing together? I mean, some of them sort of make sense, like putting Carole King and Sara Bareilles together with back to back pianos - they are different generations of the same type of singer/songwriter, and clearly admired each other, and sounded great together. And some of these pairings are kind of inspired, like sticking Blake Shelton with Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson and Merle Haggard for a Highwaymen semi-reunion, because bless their hearts, neither Willie or Kris or Merle can carry a tune in a bucket anymore or remember the lyrics, and Blake kind of kept them on track. But most of these pairings were just weird and kind of embarrassing. I mean, classical pianist Lang Lang together with Metallica? And I grew up loving me some Chicago, but the Chicago/Robin Thicke mash up was so dull that it actually made me miss Miley and her big foam thumb.
Why did Pharrell Williams wear that silly Royal Canadian Mounties hat?
Why are half of the presenters on the Grammy's movie stars? Julia Roberts introducing Paul and Ringo? What the what? Jeremy Renner? Jared Leto? Anna Kendrick and Steve Coogan? I mean, I didn't even know who those two were, I had to IMDB them. Is it that nobody trust musicians to actually speak the lines on the teleprompter?
Why is Pink always singing while hanging upside down from a rope? Haven't we seen this before?
Why, after all the hype and build up about a Paul/Ringo reunion, did they end up performing together on this really lame, new Paul song that nobody knew? And why, during this "historic performance" were they showing pictures of Johnny Depp on the screen behind them, hyping some movie that the Paul song must be in the soundtrack of? (But kudos to Yoko and Sean Lennon, looking eerily like a 1969 John, on the front row, dancing up a storm to Paul and Ringo.)
What's the deal with those Daft Punk people? Why are they robots?
Why do they keep having LL Cool J host the Grammy's? This is his third time, and I just don't get it. I mean, he's not actually terrible. He's just boring. He's just not host material. Neil Patrick Harris stepped out to give out one award, and it was a breath of fresh air. They should just let Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host all the awards.
Why, at the end of a peculiar but well-meaning and moving, despite it's strangeness, performance by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, during which Queen Latifah performs a wedding ceremony for 100 gay and straight couples, did Madonna come out, looking as if she was doped up on Xanax or maybe it was just that all that Botox has made her unable to express any emotion any more, dressed like this...
Why do I continue to watch the Grammy's year after year when I have all these questions?
If anyone out there knows the answers to any of these questions, please feel free to share!
I agree with you on everything. I did not watch the Grammy's as the last time I did so, I felt like I'd landed on another planet. I do think you're one of the best Grammy reviewers in town, though.
Posted by: Elizabeth Aquino | 01/27/2014 at 11:33 PM
I thought Madonna's cane was just admitting how old she has gotten, and why did they drag her out for that? Because she kissed Brittney Spears one year? And yes, why didn't Ringo and Paul do the Photograph song together. And were the people behind Taylor yelling "Down in front!" OK, I am apparently getting older by the second! ;)
Posted by: Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me | 01/28/2014 at 05:03 AM
I kept asking myself when watching Pink, why? Just sing, already! I also thought that Carole King looked so gorgeous; she was much more beautiful than Madonna will ever look!
Posted by: Ginny Marie | 01/28/2014 at 09:34 AM
I didn't watch it this year. I kind of wish I did now.
Posted by: Kristina Walters @ Kris On Fitness | 01/28/2014 at 09:42 AM
I didn't watch. It just doesn't interest me. I watch all the country music award shows, but then I follow country music.
Posted by: VandyJ | 01/28/2014 at 10:16 AM
My dear friend, Gretchen. You are complaining about the music the kids are listening to. You are old. Accept this. I was waiting for you to yell at somebody to get off your lawn.
Yes, Taylor Swift should have sat her ass down instead of mugging for the camera. Pink didn't need to the whole trapeze thing, again. And, Beyonce's stripper routine is better suited for a private performance with Jay-Z, instead of in front of my 7-year-old daughter.
But, the Robots are no more ridiculous that KISS or Bowie or Boy George. And Pharrell's hat is the most talked about fashion statement, even considering all of the breasts on display. Plus, I dare anyone to not jam on "Get Lucky."
LL Cool J. Yeah. Enough of him. Madonna? Why?
But Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar. Beyond awesome.
Paul and Ringo? Lame. Oh my God. Sacrilege!
So, I guess I'm old too. Get off my lawn.
Posted by: Darren | 01/28/2014 at 10:36 AM
My dear young blogger friend, Gretchen, (isn't it great to have an old fart blogger following you to see you as young) you are just drawn into the vortex that is Hollywood and entertainment. Love your observations about the whole crazy thing.
Posted by: Janice Adcock | 01/28/2014 at 10:48 AM
I am giggling aloud at your reflections and your friend Darren's contribution. Perhaps I have spent too many hours writing student narratives on this our second "snow" day in Austin, Texas. Thank you for the comic relief. I do object to your comment about Willie!
Posted by: Flavia Gaskin | 01/28/2014 at 11:39 AM
Did you miss Downton & Sherlock to waste your time on the Grammy's or did the East Coast West Coast time zone thing make it possible to see both? Because I, too, am old and didn't even bother to turn on the G's this year. Just heard about RT & Chicago mash up and got a little sad. Couldn't begin to watch it! PS...if you haven't seen Sherlock - FANTASTIC!
Posted by: Jennifer | 01/28/2014 at 04:03 PM
I hear ya on the entire Grammy's thing. Actually, I watched something else because I just don't get it. Madonna looked like she just came from the Boxtox doctor and the cane only added to the weirdness. What is up with Jay Z and Beyonce singing about Tina Turner and domestic abuse? Come on. Ok, stepping off my soap box.
Posted by: Sharon, The Mayor | 01/28/2014 at 06:26 PM
Hey, I really like (liked) Madonna but I agree. Ridiculous. sorry I can't spell. but agree completely. I was thinking all the songs of the year this year are so lame. pining for the days when there was good NEW music on the radio. Where I live all the radio plays is classic 80's. good if it's the 80's. is there ANY good music in the 2000's. Let me know if you find some.
Posted by: shelly martischewsky | 01/28/2014 at 07:22 PM
Turned it to watch Downton Abbey and Sherlock so I missed much of what you speak of. The only real reason I turned it on at all was because my friend Terry's boyfriend Wayne was up for an award for best Latin Jazz something or other. I missed that part and had to look up whether he won or not. He did not. We (Terry and I) are disappointed. Wayne could care less.
Posted by: Michele | 01/28/2014 at 08:17 PM
Gretchen - I guess you are right hind-sight is 20/20- there was a lot strange things...I did enjoy Dragons and Kendrick Lamar thought that was pretty awesome,e Carole King looked and sounded amazing but what made me giggle was the Pepsi Half Time Show - the rest well like an old fart (get off my lawn- I like that) I fell asleep on the couch and was told to go to bed....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Marisa
Posted by: marisa | 01/29/2014 at 10:55 AM