FADE IN:
Jimmy and Jude sit on the sofa in the living room watching Wheel of Fortune. Gretchen enters, carrying a sheet of paper.
GRETCHEN
Hey guys, can you pause the tv for a minute?
JIMMY
It's the final spin.
GRETCHEN
Yes, but just pause it for a minute.
Jimmy and Jude pause the tv. Both look put out.
GRETCHEN
Thanks. So...I have decided that we should have a little
family meeting.
JUDE
What's a family meeting?
GRETCHEN
Well, what do you think it might be, Jude?
JUDE
A...meeting of a family?
GRETCHEN
Yes, that is correct.
JUDE
Yeah, but we've never had a family meeting before.
GRETCHEN
It's something new.
JIMMY
(impatiently holding the tv remote in his hand)
Okay, so what is it?
GRETCHEN
Well, as you two may or may not have noticed, I have been
working very hard lately to try to get our home in order for
all of us.
JIMMY
Yeah, we noticed. And we appreciate all your work.
JUDE
We appreciate you, Mom.
GRETCHEN
Well, I certainly appreciate being appreciated. But what I
really need is a little help from the two of you to try to keep
things nice. And to that end, I have made a list of things that
you both do that drive me crazy.
She waves the list with a flourish. Jimmy and Jude look concerned.
GRETCHEN
Alrighty then. Annoying Thing #1 - The wrappers. I am
constantly throwing away old wrappers. You both are always
nibbling on some snack and then you just drop the wrapper
wherever you are, all willy-nilly.
JIMMY
Willy-nilly?
GRETCHEN
Yes, willy-nilly. Gogurt wrappers, cheese stick wrappers, chocolate
bar wrappers, potato chip bags, those little ice cream cartons.
It's making me crazy!
JUDE
Sorry Mom.
JIMMY
(gesturing with the remote)
Okay, we do that. What's the next thing.
GRETCHEN
Annoying Thing #2 - Wet towels on things. There are exactly
two places in our home where a wet towel should be placed. Either
on the towel bar, or over the top of the shower. This is so that they
can dry. They do not belong on the floor. They do not belong on
the bed. They do not belong tossed on a chair. They do not even
belong in the hamper, as they will mildew the other items in the
hamper. Okay? Wet Towels...towel bar.
JIMMY
Uh-huh.
JUDE
Got it.
GRETCHEN
Beautiful.
(she refers to her list)
Annoying Thing #3 - The situation with the bags and
the shoes. You both walk in the door, and drop whatever
you have in your hands on the floor, then kick off your
shoes wherever you are and just leave them there.
JIMMY
Willy-nilly?
GRETCHEN
Yes. Willy-nilly. I'm sick and tired of putting away backpacks
and gym bags and briefcases and shoes.
JIMMY
But you dump your stuff too.
GRETCHEN
Sometimes. But then, I put it away. As opposed to you, who
dumps his stuff, and then...I put it away.
JUDE
I'll try harder with that.
GRETCHEN
Thank you Jude. Annoying Thing #4 - Nobody ever finishes
a beverage. I couldn't even begin to estimate how many half-full
glasses I find and empty. Water, coffee, sodas, wine. It's all waste,
waste, waste.
(really getting worked up now)
If you pour it, you need to drink it.
JIMMY
(shrugging)
Yeah, I am bad with that.
GRETCHEN
Yes you are. Annoying Thing #5 - Even though I am capable
of much, I am not a super human, and cannot see or hear through
walls. So if you decide to talk to me, or show me something from
another room, I can not see or hear it! You must get off your
behinds and walk into the room where I am before asking me the
question, or showing me the funny thing.
JUDE
That one's not really about keeping the house tidy.
GRETCHEN
Well, no. But it's very annoying.
(she folds her piece of paper)
I guess that's about it. Our first family meeting is now over.
JIMMY
Don't we get to tell you all the things about you that annoy us?
GRETCHEN
No.
JIMMY
Why not?
GRETCHEN
Because I'm the mother. And I was the one who called the
family meeting in the first place. If you have a grievance to
air, you may call your own family meeting. Thank you both.
I will now go back to making dinner.
Gretchen returns to the kitchen. Jimmy and Jude exchange an eye-roll. Pat Sajak spins the wheel.
FADE OUT.
Follow up: Wrappers still everywhere, towels still on the floor, bags and shoes still willy-nilly, glasses still half-full of leftover drinks, everybody still talks to me from the other room.
___________________________________
I will be very peeved if you don't check out the other "Pet Peeves" spinners!
Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me
Stacy at Stacy Uncorked - NEW on FRIDAY
Kendra at Life in the slow lane - NEW on FRIDAY
___________________________________
Next week on The Spin Cycle...
Love
It's Valentine's Day, y'all! So I thought we'd get all lovey dovey around here.
The power of love. Endless love. What's love got to do with it? Love is a many splendored thing. The best of my love. Whole lotta love. Love me tender. Crazy little thing called love. Love child. All you need is love. Baby love. Baby I love your way. Can't get enough of your love, babe. Dedicated to the one I love. Love will keep us together. Addicted to love. You always hurt the one you love. I will always love you. Love bites.
Write your "love" spin. Post it. Let me know. I'll link it here.
Share your spin!
Highlight the code.
Copy to your HTML.
Et voila! Linked!
All those pet peeves could be on my list of pet peeves! The wrappers! The shoes! The towels! And also the toothpaste all over the bathroom counter! Seriously annoying.
I think I need to have a family meeting.
Posted by: Ginny Marie | 02/08/2013 at 04:46 AM
O...M...G... It was as if you were channeling my brain. Or that I'm married to a Jimmy and PN is a Jude. That means I'm a Gretchen and I can live with that. :) I forgot to mention all the wrappers and empty 'stuff' they leave lying around willy-nilly - that's definitely a pet peeve and an annoyance. :)
Thanks for the giggle - and letting me know I'm not alone! :)
Here's my spin for you:
http://stacysrandomthoughts.com/2013/02/pet-peeves/
Posted by: Stacy Uncorked | 02/08/2013 at 05:00 AM
Ha, I love it! Great family meeting!
Posted by: Alaina | 02/08/2013 at 06:48 AM
I find the wrappers, half empty/half full (depends on how I'm feeling that day) glasses all over. I've deleted the soda can problem by not buying soda.
Did you get my spin?
http://tttandme.blogspot.com/2013/02/spin-cycle-ugh-thats-annoying.html
Posted by: VandyJ | 02/08/2013 at 07:09 AM
Oh, the wrappers. THE WRAPPERS! And the cups. THE CUPS! We've been using paper cups and the amount of cups on the table will be like 8 and there's only 5 of us. Write your name on your cup and don't throw it away just because you drank one thing out of it, then got more and left half of it. IT'S STILL YOUR CUP! Don't just get another. And the wrappers. Seriously, if you're not going to eat all the chips, there are these little clips that you can use to close the bag LIKE I'M DOING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO ATTEMPTS TO DO THIS!
I didn't get to finish my peeved post because I needed a photo. It's not as worthy a peeve without the photo.
Posted by: Arnebya | 02/08/2013 at 07:33 AM
At our house it is the wrappers and the socks. Ugh the stinky socks of my 51 year old and 7 year old -ARAAAAAAHHHHHH!
I feel you.
Posted by: mommylisa | 02/08/2013 at 09:17 AM
Family meetings go like this at our house:
Me: JR, you need to cut back on all the Fritos you eat.
JR: When you cut back on all the wine you drink.
Discussion over.
Posted by: Michele | 02/08/2013 at 11:47 AM
I absolutely love that you told them they have to call their own meeting to complain! And you're my hero for calling a meeting to air your grievances about their annoying habits!
Posted by: suzicate | 02/08/2013 at 08:40 PM
Oh, the wrappers is right. Start taking photos and photos only.
Posted by: Elizabeth Aquino | 02/08/2013 at 09:18 PM
Was going to spin up my poem on ASCI love, but realized I did that one for the Spin Cycle before. So I gathered other Love related poems to get people in the mood:
http://cajoh.blogspot.com/2013/02/spin-cycle-love.html
Enjoy,
Posted by: CaJoh | 02/09/2013 at 04:19 PM