RTT: Half-lit Pre-lit, Yoko Voice and Lice

Ho, ho, ho.

I have been decking the halls. I spent all day yesterday hauling in the tree, hauling all of the decorations out of the attic, putting up all the decorations and setting up the tree. All by myself. After setting up the tree, I spent about an hour trying to get all the @#$% lights to go on at the same time, NEVER got this to happen, got myself into a state that sent me into a hot flash, collapsed in a heap and decided to put it off for another day. So the tree is still standing there, half-lit. I wish I was half-lit. HA. It's a damned pre-lit artificial tree, which seemed like such a great idea a few years ago, but I now want to take out into the street and run it over. My arms are covered with scratches from the stupid thing. Maybe there's a website that will talk me through it. Sigh...

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The first time I saw this, I giggled so hard I actually peed myself a tiny bit. Be warned.

 

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The other night, in the middle of the night I woke up freezing. I reached down and tried to pull the blanket up over me, but of course Fancy, the dog, was asleep on top of it and I couldn't get the thing loose. So I gave the blanket a serious yank and hit myself in the eye so hard that I thought I was going to have a black eye! I swear to God. It was so stupid. I was so sure I had seriously injured myself that I got up and got the icepack out of the fridge and stuck it on my eye. Which of course made me even colder! Luckily, the next morning, all I had was a slight bruise. Imagine trying to convince people that it wasn't Jimmy who had socked me in the eye, but a crazy sleeping accident!

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Since the day after Thanksgiving, I have been obsessively listening to Christmas music in the car. Not one, but TWO Los Angeles "easy listening" stations are doing the "All Christmas All the Time" thing, and I just keep flipping back and forth between them. Strangely, Jude enjoys it too. I keep singing along at the top of my lungs, and he's only rebelled twice. Once was when I was singing with Mariah Carey on that "All I Want For Christmas" song, and when I got to end, I hit Mariah's really, really, really high note in a rather loud and, um, shrill voice, as in I think all the dogs for miles around may have come running, and he finally said something like "MOM, please!" The other time was when I was singing along with John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (War is Over)", and every time I get to the Yoko part, I can't help but sing in my "Yoko voice", and bless her heart, he must have loved her dearly, because she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. And Jude found my version of it rather unpleasant, as I guess it was. But he got me back the other day, when he got the "Carol of the Bells" stuck in his head, and didn't stop singing it for, I swear, 12 hours. At one point I actually grabbed him and put my hand over his mouth so I could get about 20 seconds of peace. We're both going to be crazy by December 25.

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Finally, an Advent Calendar for grownups!

 
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My friends Lynn and Darren and their girls came for Thanksgiving, and we all had a lovely day. Then, the next day, Lynn texted me in a total panic. She had taken the girls to get their hair cut and found out they all had LICE! Now before you all freak out, let me qualify this by saying that lice is a huge problem out here in LA for school kids, it doesn't matter if it's the crummiest public school or the most elite and costly private school, they all get lice. There are several companies which, for a substantial fee, will sweep into your hair and de-louse your children. So anyway, they all had lice. And Jude had just spent the entire day hanging out with the girls, so I had to inspect his head. Luckily, he had no signs. But my biggest fear was that Aunt Grace would get wind of it! I can't imagine how she would react, it would probably send her right over the edge just IMAGINING that such a horror was in our home! Or even worse, imagine if Aunt Grace GOT the lice! I honestly don't know if she'd ever get over such a thing! Lynn and the girls spent a day with their heads covered with olive oil and plastic bags, which I wish I had a picture of, but don't. So far so good with the de-lousing.

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Okay, I'm going to go try to get the @#$% tree lights to light. Maybe if I kick it? Or whack it with my shoe a few times? That usually works with the car. Maybe I'll crank this next video up really loud and sing along. I'll let you know if the house is overrun by dogs! Go see Stacy.

"All I want for Christmas is.....YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!

 

Comments

[Janice Adcock]

Tree and yard lights are the second most likely items to cause an argument and fit in this house. Usually me with the fit, a hissy fit is Gene tries to calm me down. I like the advent calender. My Wish List is ready for Santa and elves!

[Stacy Uncorked]

I'll doing the whole Christmas tree wrestling and decorating today - I'm a little behind on the festivities. I also have the same problem with the pre-lit tree only being half-lit - and wishing I was half-lit instead. ;)

I'm giggling over your blanket wars and almost black eye incident as well as that video. HI-larious!

Princess Nagger and I are competing on the Christmas carol front, too - she wins. ;)

Chicago Fire’s Fake Plane Crash, Christmas Shopping, Lego Minecraft Shortage, Pony Fun, Unconventional Cards – RTT Rebel

[Claire]

I remember my sister having lice but I never did. The good thing about having boys is you can just shave their heads if it ever happens! That video was pretty funny; I am not a cat person but that is totally like cats!

[Michele]

That video had me in stitches and since I'm at work I tried really hard not to pee a little. That just doesn't seem all that workplace friendly. :-)

[Jan's Sushi Bar]

My kids brought home lice not once, but twice. The first time, the over-the-counter stuff got rid (Nix, I think it was called) of them, but the second time the little buggers were resistant to all of the potions, lotions and shampoos that are designed to treat the problem - even the olive oil and plastic bag thing didn't work - and it took me FOREVER to get rid of them. In the end, I had to go to the doctor and get a prescription designed to treat scabies - it was horrible.

I'm impressed with how you handled the tree thing - I'd have been bawling with frustration. Every. Little. Thing. sets me off these days.

[VandyJ]

I found spiked eggnog at the liquor store and thought of you. I had to get some. It's far too good.
Lice isn't much of a problem here--I think it's too cold for them.

[Alaina]

Oh my I have to get that Advent calendar!

And I love that Mariah's Carey song! Right now, I have Pandora playing classical Christmas songs all day. The reason they are classical is I played these last year because I read somewhere that when you are pregnant the baby needs to be exposed to classical music. And I'm too lazy to go in search of another station :-)

[Arnebya]

I damn near peed myself imagining you self battering! I'm sorry, but that is absolutely hilarious to me. The girls and I have been doing the all Christmas station as well. I get really still when Whitney sings Do You Hear What I Hear. And now I'm sad.

Quick, new subject: the tree! Our tree is still not up. But, we're getting one this weekend. I'll let you know how that goes (it never goes well. Ever.)

[Lynn]

OMW, I can so relate to almost everything you wrote today: First off, I DID mess up my tree when I carried it--myself (1st wrong idea) up the stairs and it got caught; now there is just one row of lights that won't come on, so my fix was just to add another small string to it--but when I've had problems in the past, I realized I was making it WAY more complicated than it should be, to just be sure the numbered plugs/outlets go together (mine are in sections 1-4)and that any red-to-red are connected: I told my mom this and it helped her, as she was trying to plug all of hers into the same place...Fav song this season IS that Mariah Careys' song and I, too, can annoy the heck out of my only by hitting the high note, so I do...That video!!I just saw part of it yesterday on TV but not past the sofa part--Hilarious indeed, but as a longtime cat owner, the one part they have wrong is cats NEVER, EVER (in my experience) throw up on the floor: They HAVE to find the nearest rug or carpet to do so...Anyway, thanks for a great post! Happy Tuesday to you!

[Julie@Momspective]

That video was so funny I just posted it on my facebook wall. Thank you!

[Michele R]

This post is hilarious!! You are a hoot!! OMW--dogs hearing you reach notes! That song is stuck in my head now.
P.S. I have meant to tell you that I have had to go to Aberdeen, SD twice this year and as recently as 4 weeks ago.

[mommylisa]

Lice is a PITA. ugh. Boo Boo got it twice in a month last spring. :P Olive oil is the best way to fix it.