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I know exactly of which you speak, and don't even have words for this scene. Just a knowing smile! Love your writing style!


OMG Gretchen! You had me laughing uproariously. I had to read it out loud to my husband. I could envision every single horrifyingly embarrassing moment! GREAT STORY!


Oh the indignity of giving birth. I got no ice pack, but did get those crazy ultra granny panties. You'd really think they'd do something about those hospital gowns.


Followed from MamaKat's...

This is hilarious.

I will never forget after my daughter was born I could not get her to breastfeed and we had a call into the Ped about it.
During a nap, my mom rushed to me with the phone saying, "It's Doctor Bob for you!"
I relayed the horrors of not being able to breastfeed and how my nipples were huge and flat.
He said he would pray for me and hung up...
Um, that's when I realized it was PASTOR Bob. Our preacher. Our Pediatrician's name is James.

Michele R.

A rubber glove? wth? I got something that looked like a maxi pad that was super cold. And ladies--bring your own clothes! No need to wear that dumb hospital gown.
That was sort of sweet of him to see you in the hospital. He was/is sweet on you. But I know what you mean about all the annoying staff.


I love "giving birth" stories (I especially love to tell them in the presence of men), and this was a good one.

I laughed.


Oh, and Allison? You had me ROLLING.


My spin is up:


lol - joe screamed like a girl, dropped the gift he was carrying and fled down the hall. Awesome.

Diane @ Philzendia

OMG. This is sooo funny. I laughed hard. Love your writing style!


That poor man. He must have been scarred for a long time after. It makes for a great story.

Twenty years before you I gave birth and I didn't get any uber granny panties or ice filled balloons. What I got was nurses coming in every half hour to knead my uterus. Yes, you read that right. I called it pushing my uterus through my backbone though. After the first couple of times I told them I could handle it myself, thank.you.very.much.


No ice filled glove here either, but the mesh nonsense? Every time. And the nurses for us were like that too, didn't matter the time of morning or middle of the night, here they come, pressing unwanted hands down on too-sore body parts. I don't think I could have laughed harder than at Joe running down the hallway. That will carry me through the day, thank you.


This is hilarious!
...and the moral is...Joe will forever remain single!

Sarah at 32Flavors

Good gracious. I'm sort of glad you haven't talked about it. Let's all pretend it never happened.
I'm really surprised by the ice glove, because I had Ella around the same time in my tiny, local, midwestern hospital, and they had these lovely ice pads. It was a pad, but one of those ice things that you break something in it and it gets cold? Those were nice when you're hoo hoo was hurting. Oh how I hated the mesh underwear, though.

By the way, my spin is up! I think you'll enjoy it. http://sarahs32flavors.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/spin-cycle-honeymoons/


Oh. MY. Well. Poor Joe. The Madonna tableau had me rolling.

Um, pain and horror of the whole c-section experience aside, I'm kinda okay with not needing any ice packs on my hoo hoo...


You made me laugh out loud! How come in childbirth classes and talking with my obgyn, the mesh underpants were never mentioned? It was all about the pain and breathing and pushing and blood and gunk but not one word about the worst part: the underpants.


I didn't have a glove I had an ice pack panty and it was amazing. A little ugly but amazing!

And really...this seems like a case of who was knocking at your back door! ;)

Tiffany Barry

Oh I'm crying I'm laughing so hard! After my daughter was born, they gave me an ice pack and a squirt bottle to spray on myself and "rinse" with after using the bathroom.

Post-birth is definitely not the most elegant of times in a woman's life! And we're about to do it all over again! Woohoo for swollen hoo-hoos!

Popping in from Mama Kat's
Tiffany at Mom's Daily Zen

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