Camp Mama 2011 Week Eight: Well That Was Unexpected

I fear that blogging has warped my priorities in life.

Yesterday morning, Jude and I set out for a day at Raging Waters Water Park.  We are now, after all...

 

...(thank you Keely) and Water Boy loves him some Water Parks.

All morning, as we made our way from one back-breaking, brain-rattling water ride to another, I kept thinking "Hmmm. How am I going to write yet another post about Jude and my endless adventures at stupid amusement/water parks without driving my precious readers crazy. They must be extremely tired of listening to me whine endlessly about exhaustion, sunburn and bruises."

And then, something unexpected happened.

We had decided to relax a bit in the "kiddie area", a place called Splash Island Adventure. After flinging ourselves down a small water slide over, and over, and over (and over), I decided to wait at the bottom of the slide, under the giant water-spewing mushroom, while Jude continued with the fun.

I saw him at the top of the slide. He waved at me gaily.

The next thing I knew, he was at the bottom of the slide, trying to stand up, with blood gushing down his face.

Yes, the child had decided to perform some kind of dare-devilish stunt, and swung on some bar he wasn't supposed to swing on, and managed to whack himself on the water slide on his way down with enough force to slice a HUGE gash across his forehead.

My next thoughts were:

1. OH MY GOD MY CHILD!!!!!!!!
2. Oh please dear God, don't let him have brain damage!
3. Oh please dear God, don't let this scar his beautiful face!
4. Gee, this will make a much more interesting blog post about Raging Waters.

So you see how I may be worrying about this priorities thing. But anyway...

The lifeguards/first aid staff at Raging Waters really were terrific. Within about a minute, 8 people were crowded around him, brandishing their rubber gloves and gauze. I realize that this is what they've been living for all summer. They whisked us up to the First Aid building, where they quickly realized that it was a HUGE GASH, that looked like a giant hole in my child's head, and exposed several deep layers of epidermis. They quickly stopped the bleeding, applied butterfly bandages and gave me directions to the closest hospital.

 

And after 8 stitches, Water Boy now looks like...

 

...Frankenboy. The nurses tried to convince him that he would be just like Harry Potter, with a cool scar. I think he about halfway believes them. He's definitely interested in showing his stitches to all his friends from school. A badge of honor, I guess.

The highlight of the day was on the way home in the car, when I called Mommy in New York to share the events of the day. After she managed to stop hyperventilating, and downed a couple of medicinal scotches, she told me the following story. Remember to read Mommy in the voice of Edith Bunker...

"I'll never forget when I hit my head and had to go to the hospital. We was at a wedding, and it was the hottest day of the year. Just terrible. And all they had to eat was those little finger foods, and all they had to drink was champagne. You couldn't even get a soda. So I was crocked. And then Rose says 'Everybody come back to my house! I've got the pool!' so we we all went back to Rose's. And I was gonna get in the pool, even though I don't swim, you know, I thought that if I just put my feet in then that would be nice, but I slipped and fell down and hit my head, right on the side of the pool. And everybody says 'Mary, Mary, are you okay?' and I'm telling you, I didn't even remember that I'd been at a wedding! I was that stunad! [Editors Note: stunad (pronounced - stoonahd) is an Italian-American slang word which means "spacy" or "out of it"] And I as crocked. But Steve had already gone home, so they called the house to tell him 'Come get Mary and take her to the hospital!', but my mother-in-law was there, watching the boys, and she says 'No! I won't wake him up, he's got to work tomorrow. She's just drunk. Give her some tomato juice and she'll be fine.' Even though I had blood gushing down my face. My mother-in-law! I tell you, she was some piece of work." 

So that's my more-exciting-than-I-expected Camp Mama for the week. I'm glad to say that Jude's stitches will come out next Monday, before we fly to New York to visit Mommy in person. But I'm sure she'll be able to sympathize with the kid, and make him feel better in a way only grandmas can.

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Comments

[Aimee]

Tell Jude from me that those stitches look GREAT! I can't wait to show the boys tomorrow. Frankenboy, indeed.

I'll bet you lost a few weeks off your life, though, Gretchen. Phew!

And thank you for the Edith Bunker heads-up. It makes the story even better. ;)

[Elizabeth]

Oh, my god. That speech of Mommy's (read silently with an Edith Bunker voice, exactly) was wild -- perfection.

Oh -- where are MY priorities? I am so sorry to hear of Jude's "adventure" -- that looks like a nasty gash! As a veteran of head gashes (due to seizures), I highly recommend rubbing in Vitamin E oil when the stitches come up. Religiously. It does wonders.

[Michele]

My son had a little accident when he was 11 that required 11 stitches. In the words of his best friend; "Cool man! Chicks dig scars."

Vitamin E & lots of sun block when he goes outside. You can hardly see my son's scar.

And, I'm shaking my head at mommy's speech because you can't buy that kind of funny.

[Jan]

HA! That's what it means to be a blogger; accidents, incidents and pratfalls become opportunities, or as I like to say: "That which doesn't kill me only serves as blog fodder."

Poor Jude; the scar won't detract from that gorgeous face - it will add character. My 2 boys? Got a LOT of character (I have not raised children, I have raised klutzes).

[VandyJ]

Turbo got his first stitches at age 2. He was three week shy of his third birthday. Five stitches above his left eye. I am so glad that Nick was home. I'm good with the barfing and colds and flu, but the major blood just shuts me down.
Jude will have a awesome scar to show off and it's in a good place to show off.
Boys, they are determined to see how fast they can make mom crazy.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Poor Jude! Although that will make a really cool scar which will turn into a natural laugh line when he's older. :-)
Now I will be thinking in the Edith Bunker voice for the rest of the day. That should help with my job..

[Sarah at themommylogues]

EGADS!!! I got a little nauseous just thinking about it. My stomach does flips when my girls MIGHT trip.

Good gracious. I think I need a nap now.

[Michele R.]

Poor Jude! Poor Gretchen! And we get to hear more of Mommy next week!
Hope everyone is recovering well.

[Molly Stevens]

Ah man those stitches look intense! They almost don't look real- hopefully he doesn't have too bad of a scar, although I'm sure he may like that. I just visited one of these family resorts in Texas with my family and they had an indoor water park. I kept telling my kids not to mess around because they could get hurt- I'll have to show them the pictures of your son, because of course they don't listen to word I have to say! Hopefully your son recovers so he can get back to the water park! They definitely are a ton of fun for kids!

[Water Parks in Washington]

Thank you for sharing this post. I found it very interesting. My son has a scar like that and just loves to show it to his friends.