8 Hours

Hmmm. Where did Gretchen spend her day Wednesday?

It's Jude's Spring Break, so maybe you can guess.

Okay, I'll give you hints.

The following thoughts made their way out of my fevered brain during the day...

• "Ah, the humanity!"
• "Mama needs to sit down, or she's going to vomit."
• "All this kitchy old west theme crap makes me so proud to be an American."
• "When one is considering getting their, say...third tattoo, one should remember that one day they will become 'the old woman with all the tattoos'."
• "America needs a hairdresser."
• "Teenagers are gross."
• "A bottle of water just tastes better when you've paid $5 for it."
• "Well...that's going to bruise."
• "I fear that I may stink."
• "Dippin' Dots frighten me."
• "Oh dear God, where are the margaritas?!"

Guesses anyone?

That is correct! I have once again taken my child to an amusement park! This time, Knott's Berry Farm.

Here's Jude with Snoopy when we got there at 10:00 am...

 

And here he is after EIGHT hours of roller coaster riding...

 

Yes, that's right 8 hours. We must have walked all the way across that park 6 times. We rode something called the Jaguar! 3 times. The Jaguar! is a roller coaster which, according to the Knott's Berry Farm website is rated a 4-High Thrill coaster. I realize now that I should have perused this website BEFORE we went to the park, then I would have known to avoid something called The GhostRider, which I see now is rated a 5-Aggressive Thrill coaster. In other words - torture.

This GhostRider thing was THE most frightening 2 minutes I have spent in my entire life. It's this massive wooden coaster which the website describes as "one of the longest and tallest wooden roller coasters in the world...4,533 feet of twisting, unforgiving timber. Highlights of this massive themed white-knuckler include a dramatic, 108-foot initial banked drop, 13 additional drops, sudden dips, banked turns and maximum G-forces of 3.14!" Yes. That would be true.

This thing was so freaking scary that I closed my eyes and shrieked at the top of my lungs for the entire 4533 feet. When we finally stopped, I was completely dry-mouthed because I'd had my mouth open in a grimace of terror for the entire ride. And it was so rough! It bounced me around so much that my left breast actually popped out of my bra! The only thing holding my boob in my t-shirt was the 3.14 G-forces.

Jude, of course, loved it. He'll be talking about it for months to come. I feel for his friends, as they will no doubt be forced to endure endless retellings of the wonders of The GhostRider.

Some of you may remember that Jude is planning on becoming a roller coaster engineer when he grows up. I'm thinking that a really clever accountant could find a way to make these outings a write off. What do y'all think?

Comments

[VandyJ]

I know I'm going to be the one riding the roller coasters with Turbo because Nick hates them. I'm not sure I would have been able to ride the GhostRider. I like to be strapped in but good on those rides.
A write-off would make the torture less painful.

[K]

Gotta love a ride that actually defeats your bra! Sounds like a blast to me.

[Mommylisa]

Wow - I am sure my t-shirt would not have contained my breast...

Boo boo is still having nightmares about the flume ride at Nickelodeon Universe though - so I won't have to get on anything scary for a while. ;)

[Michele]

My husband and I love roller coasters. Our kids hate them. Which seems odd but true.

[Sprite's Keeper]

That last photo proves that even Superman gets tired!

[Kendra]

I love roller coasters! It sounds like fun!

[Captain Dumbass]

There's just something about a wooden roller coaster that throws the terror level over the edge.

[Aimee]

Awesome! Sounds like they've upped the thrill level at Knott's since I last lived there. (Not surprising; it's been TWENTY years. Holy cow. That makes me feel old.)

But, OMG, your boob popped out? That's a hell of a ride. Or you need a new bra. Maybe both.