Bumper Karma

Okay, what's up with this?

Yesterday morning, this happened...

 

Those of you who know me, know that this is the THIRD time my poor car's rear end has been smashed in the last two years.

It hasn't really been my fault.

The first time, a very old Japanese woman drove into me in the grocery store parking lot. She claimed that despite the fact that she was driving sideways across two lanes of the parking lot, that it was MY fault. That she drove into me. Sigh. And she spoke very little English. While she had insurance, they refused to pay out because she vehemently denied any fault. And we had no witnesses.

The second time, another car drove into the other side of my bumper in ANOTHER grocery store parking lot. This time, the other driver fully admitted her guilt. For what that was worth.

WOMAN DRIVER

(hysterical, sarcastic)

Oh God! This is just what I need!

GRETCHEN

What do you mean?

WOMAN DRIVER

I just got out of rehab, and I'm in sober living. I don't know if I can handle this!

Of course she had no insurance. She begged me not to call the cops, and swore she would pay for the repair.

She did not.

This morning was a bit different.

Jude and I were on our way to school, following our usual route. In front of me, a man driving an ugly white Acura was driving 12 miles per hour. For three blocks. A long line of cars was backed up behind him. I know it was 12 MPH because I was griping and complaining rather loudly about this, and how we were going to be late for school because of this idiot.

Finally, I decided that I needed to go around him. I dutifully put on my turn signal, and made a move to go around him. The woman behind me followed. As soon as I made the move, the idiot in the Acura decided to turn left into a driveway. I, naturally, slammed on my brakes, and the poor woman in the van rear ended me.

The idiot in the Acura, of course, turned around and drove away.

The woman in the van turned out to be another mother taking her child to school. Unfortunately, she didn't speak any English, didn't have a drivers license OR insurance. In fact, I fear she had no documents at all. As in...undocumented. A kindly bystander translated for us. The woman in the van called her husband, who was on his way. She assured me that he spoke English and would take care of things.

Now technically, legally, I'm not sure who is to blame. I should most certainly have been more patient with the idiot, and not tried to speed around him. But the woman in the van was equally culpable, because she also tried to pass the idiot. And I know that according to the law, the person who does the rear-ending is always considered to be at fault. And then, of course, there's that whole no documents thing.

So the husband got there, and I agreed not to call the police. Because they were so nice. And our kids were both there. They gave me their address, and we agreed that I could come to their place after we both dropped our children off at their respective schools.

Since we were late, I had to walk Jude into school, as opposed to the usual carline dropoff situation. Which was just sad, because I was wearing a pair of tight yoga pants, a t-shirt with no bra, and no makeup. Definitely not how I want to look when I'm seeing...well...anybody. Jude was totally pumped up. He put on this tough guy attitude, like he'd been through the wars and lived to tell the tail. "We had a car crash. But don't worry, we're all right. No big deal." Apparently he told the tale a few times during school.

So anyway, I went and met Carlos and Nora at their apartment, which isn't far from me. Carlos promises me that he is going to repair my car. He says he "knows a guy". This could very well be. We'll see.

In the meantime, I need to do something about this rear-ending thing. About a year ago, I wrote this post about a rash of parking tickets I'd received, and how I was thereby banishing the parking demons from my life. Guess what? I haven't had ONE ticket since then. Knock on wood.

So I am hereby declaring my bumper karma reversed. From now on, NO ONE will run into my car. Even when I'm doing something stupid, like speeding around idiots in pokey Acuras.

But if they do, they WILL have insurance.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

I'm laughing that you asked for something to write about yesterday, and look what happened! I do hope the reverse karma thing works. I've got several things to try with your method!

[Sprite's Keeper]

I work in this line.
You should have called the cops. I'm sure they were nice people but "knowing a guy" means your Prius may not be "right-us" after the "repair-us".
Oy..

[VandyJ]

Hope you bumper karma is reversed--and not into the bumper again. Maybe you should remove the targets on the bumper? I'm sure they are there, look how irresistible they are to other cars.

[becky]

Oy, why does it have to be so complicated! What happened to just having somebody slam into you and then handing their insurance card over!

Remind me to tell you about the time when I was 21 and I broadsided a guy, totalling his car, and then a few weeks later he called and asked me out.

I do admire your tender heart and compassion to be moved by these people's pleas.