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03/12/2010

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Michele

This was the same thing that happened to my children. I learned the hard way that as a parent you are doing a lot of work for those badges. Next time will be so different. Jude will be one of those getting a lot of them.

Nony (A Slob Comes Clean)

Totally understand. TOTALLY. You're not the only one who has been/is going through this.

For us, it was also that we never made it to the boy scout store which is an hour away and SO not on my list of priorities for a Saturday. We had a hand-me-down shirt which my son was extremely proud of. But standing up there with his den, I realized that his had no patches and he didn't have that scarf thingy. He looked very ragamuffin, and I was humiliated.

So see, there's someone out there (me) who's much worse at this than you.

And you want to do better next year, while I'm just hoping that my son won't want to do Cub Scouts next year.

Viki

Tough lesson for both of you. But what's that saying something like when you know better you do better.

Bonnie

I can relate. As the mother of two former cub scouts, I was twice an Akela. I could have done more (should I?). Maybe. As soon as they found out that boy scouts camped out in the wild in tents, their interest waned. They didn't continue. And, I wasn't sorry. I'm still not sorry. They've turned into well-educated and accomplished young me. Even though I failed at Akelahood, I succeeded at motherhood!

Best,
Bonnie

Jan

Gretchen.

Stop beating yourself up so badly. As the *working* mother of five (three my own and two stepdaughters) I'm here to tell you that there will be times that there will be times you are going to drop the parental ball - NO ONE is perfect. NO ONE. You may want to be able to protect him from pain and humiliation and disappointment, but pain and humiliation and disappointment are often a part of life and you will serve Jude better by teaching him to deal with them with dignity and fortitude.

And you did.

becky

Whoa, I had no idea there was such pressure and potential angst in the scouting world! We haven't had any experience with that yet, unless eating Girl Scout cookies counts. But you're right, he is six, which means that when mama tells him it will all be better next time, he is happy.

And rocket derby sounds awesome!

Amy

I think you handled it beautifully, helping him work through how he felt and now he's looking forward to next time! Let's face it, we all drop the ball sometimes. And, hello?? You've had vertigo for, like, two weeks. So cut yourself some slack. :)

Michele Renee

Gretchen,
Jan and everyone else said it so well. It was a day of lessons. Winning or coming in first is not easy. You are an awesome mom and I can tell from your stories that you guys are a great team.

Maureen@IslandRoar

Yes, please don't be so hard on yourself! My son wasn't a tiger but he went all the way to Eagle. Scouts can be really fun, and for my boy it was one of the only things I could coerce his dad to really get involved in on w/e's. You and he could just decide on a few things he wants to get. Some are pretty easy; some are a pain.
But you're a great mom to spend this time even doing scouts with him!!

Sarah at themommylogues

Oh have I been there. I mean, not boy scouts, because I have girls. But I have seen them disappointed that way. I think we punish ourselves plenty for that stuff.

Amy

Oh, ouch. Yes, I second all the STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP comments... but mostly, just, ouch, and I'm sorry, because I know how awful it felt to see those tears.

We learn, we grow. Hugs.

Aimee @ In THIS Life

Actually, you know what? I think you and Jude both had a more amazing experience than you realize...a much more important and positive lesson than earning badges and whatnot. Jude learned, in a completely safe environment, that you're not perfect. He learned it in a way that hit home. And you modeled your reaction to your imperfection brilliantly: you realized it in front of him, saw his sorrow, verbalized your own remorse, and asked him for help in making you stronger at your job while promising him the same in return. Yes, we as parents should set the example, and we set up on pedestals, but our children are going to see us fall one day. Better now, in this situation, than in one that will cause real, long-term harm. You've set a great example with this - the example of apology and promise - and that's pretty darned cool.

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