Spin Cycle: Intuition

I suspect that we all have our moments of clairvoyance, our flashes of ESP, woman's intuition, a feeling, a hunch a premonition. But I've always felt that I was particularly intuitive, though I don't know if that's really true. I never, EVER talk about it. I doubt that my closest friends even know I feel this. I'm afraid that if I voice that I know something will happen, that it won't. That I'll jinx it. And also because, well, they freak me out.

I'll never forget the first time it happened to me. I was seven years old, and I was driving around with my Daddy on one of our special Daddy/Daughter Saturdays. We spent almost every Saturday driving around in his pickup truck, running errands and visiting friends. I remember these days with extreme fondness. I realize now that probably it was Mama's idea to get us both out of the house so she could get something done! The fact that Daddy drove a pickup truck may be a bit misleading. Daddy was a lawyer and a Texas gentleman, and didn't have an ounce of redneck in him. But he also had a wicked, witty, wry sense of humor, and he thought that that truck was hilarious irony. He even bought himself a gun rack, which he insisted on mounting in the rear window, and then carrying his umbrella around in it!

So anyway, one day we were driving around and I suddenly said "Daddy, hurry! Turn on the radio! I want to hear Harper Valley PTA!"  Daddy was a country music fan (Mama abhored country, preferring her opera and show tunes.), and this was our very favorite song. That Jeannie C. Reilly was something! Daddy turned to me and tried to explain that you never knew what was going to be on the radio at any given moment, you just had to take what you got. But I was sure that it was on at that second. So he turned it on and...well, of course it WAS on . Daddy told this story for years, he was so impressed.

I'm afraid that the vast majority of these flashes of presentiment I have are just about as earth-shatteringly important as knowing when an old Country Western song will play on the radio. It's all terribly mundane. I always know when I've booked a job. I usually know who is on the phone when it rings. I often know what someone's going to say before they say it. I play this silly game on Pogo where there's a pyramid of boxes that you have to randomly click on, and if you click on all of them without hitting the bomb that blows you up, you win the pot. And if I clear my mind and don't overthink, I almost always make it to the end, I almost always know where the bomb is hidden.

So why don't I play the lottery? Hit a jackpot? I truly don't think I could. Because it seems like every time I try to do it, it doesn't happen. I don't feel anything. And because I never trust myself.

I have had a few more serious "vibes". Several times I have known for sure that when I left someone it was the last time I would see them alive. And I've been right. Freaky.

Once, when Jude was about a year old, I had left him at home with Jimmy and gone to the store. When I left, Jimmy was about to put him down for a nap. About an hour later, as I was pushing my little cart up and down the aisles of the grocery store, I was suddenly gripped with an absolute knowledge that Jimmy had left the side of the crib down, and Jude was going to pull himself up and fall out. I immediately called Jimmy and told him this. Now I must say, that while Jimmy can be crazy and flaky in many ways, when it comes to anything in regard to Jude's safety and well-being, he's on top of it. I would even say that he's a bit of a fanatic. But he humored me (Jimmy has amazing respect for "vibes"), went in to check and...of course the side of the crib WAS down.

And then there was an experience I had back in 2001 that I actually have written about here before. But since I had about 4 readers at that time, I feel I can repeat it. Jimmy and I were on a trip to New York. We almost never do "touristy" stuff in NYC, but we thought it might be fun to hunt for Jimmy's Grandpa Tony on the wall of immigrants on Ellis Island. So one morning, we went down to Battery Park and hopped on the ferry.

While motoring through the Hudson, I looked up at the skyline of Lower Manhattan, and had the following thought process -

Damn, those World Trade Towers are ugly. Look at them! They totally ruin the skyline. The Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building...now that's architecture. They're beautiful. But the Trade Towers are just hideous. Too bad they can't get rid of them. How the hell could they get rid of them? You couldn't just tear them down, they're too big. You'd have to implode them, like those demolition shows on tv. But they'd be really hard to implode...they're so tall, there's no way you could control where the debris would fall. Too bad...

I then had a very strong flash, an actual vision in my mind in which the two towers imploded and crashed. A chill ran up my spine and I remembering shuddering. I then turned to face the Statue of Liberty and completely forgot about it until the morning of September 11th.

I suffered from a strange guilt for quite some time. Like I'd willed it to happen or something. It really disturbed me.

So...does this happen to everyone? If it happens to me, and I never talk about it, does that mean that it happens to everyone and none of us talk about it? I don't know. I don't think we're supposed to "know" something's going to happen. It's like it's...none of our business. We need to just wait and let it happen as it's supposed to.

For more clairvoyence, drop by the Spin Cycle with Sprite's Keeper.

Comments

[Michele Renee]

I'd say you definitely have abilities. ometimes I will have a mental connection and an old friend will call. But nothing else. But I do get deja vu a lot which I believe happens when I dream a scene and then it does happen.
BTW, are you a Picses, Cancer or Scorpio?

[Maureen@IslandRoar]

You are really intuitive! I have had things like this happen my whole life as well. My sister and I used to start singing the song that the other had just had in their head at that moment. I had dreams telling me what sex all my kids would be; by the 3rd, I just waited for the dream to come. I've had other dreams come true, again, nothing really major tho. I just kind of take it for granted and listen to it.
I love your story about the crib railing!

[Sarah at themommylogues]

I've had moments like that, but none that were earth shattering enough to remember. Of course, I don't remember much of anything these days. I get deja vu like crazy. Strong enough where I'll pause as it's really happening because it's so weird.

[Aimee]

Yes, yes! Me, too. Thank you for sharing...you're not alone. :)

[Sara]

Pretty neat. Thinking back, I'd say my vibes are generally positive, which I'm now even more grateful for. And I totally get not wanting to tell people what you're vibing on for fear of jinxing it. Sometimes I have to let a vibe tell me if it's ok to spill the beans. ;-)

[Amy]

I don't think I get vibes. But I totally believe there are people who are more attuned to other ... sources of information, I'll say.

Michael Crichton wrote a book about, among other things, his explorations of paranormal phenomenon, and his experiences led him to believe more than you'd imagine. (The book is "Travels," and it's non-fiction).

A book I read recently on near-death experiences drew on data that showed that in years following NDE's, people report your sort of "vibe" experience something like *four times as often* as people without NDE's. Fascinating stuff.

[Ann]

Wow. Just wow..

[Steff]

I do it Gretchen and I don't talk about it much either. My husband has learned to listen and so have most of my family though. I don't remember the first time I noticed it, but
I do know it runs in families and that my mom and granddad both did/do it as well.
There are 2 times that stand out to me in particular, in junior high shortly after my cousin had gotten his drivers license I felt compelled to call my mom and ask if he was ok. so much so that I talked a teacher into giving me a hall pass and a quarter. When I got thru to my mom she had just gotten off the phone with my aunt. My cousin had about 1/2 an hour earlier flipped his car 13 times down the side of a hill. somehow even though it was a convertible he just had minor scratches and cuts and was otherwise fine.
The other time I called her in the fall of 1989 from college begging her to tell me my cousin survived the earthquake. She said there hasnt been an earthquake, what are you talking about. told her yes there was a huge quake in oakland...told her number of dead...people trapped on freeways etc...
she really acted like I was losing it.
The quake hit the next night @ exactly the time I had called her the nite before.
Steff

[Sprite's Keeper]

Whoa, I've got chills! I've often heard that people who have these intuitions cannot use them to benefit themselves. Maybe that's what stopping you from hitting the numbers? (And I'm obviously not of the sixth sense or I would have linked you up before you posted! But my Google Reader is now onto you. Ha!) You're linked!

[jessica]

I have that mother's intuition to be sure as I think we all do. It's just something inside of us that "knows", otherwise not so much. Great post, I loved this one

[Mama Badger]

Nope, I've got nothing. The other world must think I'm a dud. But I do love to read your writing. You have the most beautiful "southern" voice to your style.

Oh, and don't feel bad about the 9/11 thing. Most of us thought those buildings were ugly as sin, but I'm sure none of us wished they'd come down like that.

[Lynn Hornsby]

Yes, I have had lots of premonition type happenings: I could do the same with songs on the radio. I thought it was mostly coincidence until one day in like the 80’s or 90’s, I knew the Beatles “Norwegian Wood” was on…just to make sure I was wrong, I turned on the rock station, and yep, it was on. I can also find things, if I picture them in my head: The best one I ever did was to find my dog, which had been lost for three or so days. In a vision, in kind of black and white, I saw this large, grayish square block, with the dog standing beside it one morning. We happened to be late to school, so my mom drove us. As I was walking to class, something caught my eye by the dumpster (large, square) and yes, it was my dog, exactly as I pictured. I like to think he sent me the image and stayed there till I came by! Another time, I knew I would see my relatives at a mall, even though they lived two hours away; I had a feeling they were in town for a ball game but just had not called us. A friend and I went to the mall and before we entered, I turned to her and said, “I’m just telling you now, we are going to run into my in-laws.” We shopped for a few hours, no sign of them, and when we were almost out of the mall, out of one of the stores they stepped, right in front of us! My friend goes, “Wow!! You’re psychic!”

But, like you, I don’t like it when I get a bad feeling. Mostly it does happen with stupid things, like knowing a waitress is bringing me a sweet tea when I specified UN-sweet, that kind of useless stuff.

[Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)]

Usually my premonitions have been non-happy ones - so I tend to squelch any that I do get. Because I don't want to end up feeling guilty like you did with your World Trade Towers one. Although as I get older, I'm starting to 'embrace' the premonitions and intuitiveness, and have found a majority of them aren't so negative after all. ;) Great Spin! :)

[Patty]

Wow. Just wow. I don't even know what to say about this, but I can see why you might be creeped out on occasion. Pretty amazing!