Second Blooming

RTT: Easter Recap

I feel like I've been hit by the proverbial bus. Is there a proverbial bus? Well, you know what I mean. I am weak, but still able to scrape up some not very Random Tuesday Thoughts.

I am one church singing fool. Witness:

• Holy Thursday - 7:00 to 11:00. Trilingual mass. Yes, I said TRIlingual - English, Spanish, Tagalog. Washing of the feet.
• Good Friday - 10:00 to 3ish. Stations of the Cross. Veneration of the Cross. Serious music. Basically a very long funeral.
• Holy Saturday Easter Vigil - 7:00 to 11:00. Baptisms, confirmations. More trilingual stuff.
• Easter Sunday - 10:00 to 12:30. Easter mass. This year, we've made so much money off our bingo that we could afford to hire a brass section -

Cool.

Here's the view from the choir loft...

...impressive, right?

Here's the view of the choir loft. Our hats were particularly excellent this year...

Jude and I cleaned up pretty well...

Oh, and here's Jude enjoying mass...

Here's Jude with Lynn and Darren's daughters...

After this shot was taken, Jude smirkily informed me "I had my hand on Isabella's butt."

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After church, we had lunch with Jimmy's Cousin Cathy and some friends. Jude was clearly on a roll with the ladies (I think it was his dashing suit). After lunch, he gave backrubs to the women at the table...

...while I had a much deserved Bloody Mary.

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And where, you ask, was Jimmy during all this? Sick as a dog. The poor man had a fever, which fluctuated between 99 and 102 for FIVE days. I felt so sorry for him. As I ran out of the house to my next choir event shouting "JUDE, take care of your father..."

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The good news: The Easter Bunny brought Jude this...

...the Darth Maul Double-Bladed Lightsaber. The bad news is that the Easter Bunny brought Jude this...

Which means that I am forced into lightsaber battle on a bi-hourly basis. I'm such a sucker.

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Made these for an Easter egg hunt...

...cascarones, Mexican confetti eggs. Lots of silly, albeit messy, fun. I should probably do a how-to, but it's a little late in the game. Maybe I'll remember to do a Works For Me Wednesday next Easter!

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So there's Easter for you. And now Spring Break has begun. Which means I'll never rest. Oh joy. Please visit Stacy for more random fun and games.

Life Partners

Prompt #4 - On "The Bachelor" a rose is given to the women he could really see himself spending the rest of his life with. What six things in your life would you like to give a rose to and why?

And so, in my own personal rose ceremony, I am hereby asking the following things to stay with me for the rest of my life.

Grandma's Iron Skillet -

For many, many years, Grandma's iron skillet lay unused in a drawer. I was suffering from Fear of Iron Skillets. I had been seduced by the promises of Teflon. Then a few years ago, I pulled Grandma's skillet out of the drawer and put it into use, and we have been living happily ever after. Things to know about iron skillets - 1. They are not dirty. 2. They are not hard to clean. 3. They are easy to "season" - a quick Google will give you about 5 million how-to demos. 4. They heat so quickly and evenly that you will never want to ever use a lousy Teflon skillet again. For everything you ever wanted to know about the Iron Skillet, please visit Michele's post HERE.

Lavender Blue Tablecloth -

Every year, a French linens company called Lavender Blue sells their wares at Jude's school's Christmas boutique, which I run/organize. A couple of years ago, I spent hours staring and thinking and worrying and fretting and finally deciding to actually purchase one of these gorgeous tablecloths. It cost way more money than I should have been spending on a tablecloth for MYSELF right before Christmas, but I just couldn't resist. It's pretty and timeless and WASHABLE. And it fits my dining room table perfectly, no small feat. I use it all the time. And it's so classic and well-made that I like to think that some day, Jude's family will have it on their table and it will be referred to as "Grandma's tablecloth".

Ugly Old Comforter -

It's old. It's ugly. I love it. This ugly old twin comforter was on my bed back in college. At the time, it had matching curtains and a pillow sham, now long gone. It's made of a faded peach floral print. Remember when when everything was peach? Is peach even a color any more? It is now terribly worn and very soft. It goes on every camping trip, and is what I want to wrap myself up in when I have a cold.

The Necklace -

Several years ago, I stuck these three gold charms on one chain, and started wearing them all the time. I hadn't realized that I was really wearing it ALL THE TIME, until one night when I didn't have it on, and Jude gasped "Mom! Where's your necklace?!" I love each of these charms very dearly. The one on the left is a James Avery open heart charm, which Mama and Daddy gave me for my high school graduation. James Avery is a beloved Texas Hill Country jeweler. The middle charm is a Miraculous Medal, which Jimmy gave me just after Jude was born, and the charm on the right is a Black Hills gold cross, which Mama and Daddy gave me for my baptism. I love them all, and sort of feel naked without them.

The New Throw -

Okay, I know I've only just started it, but already, I know that the new throw that I am knitting will be a KEEPER. I started it on Ash Wednesday as a replacement for the stupid games I have given up for Lent, and here it is so far...

...it needs to be finished and edged and steamed. It's soft "like buttah" and the coolest kind of grayish/greenish color. Can't WAIT to get it finished and curl up with it!

My Church Choir -

I've been singing in the A Cappella Choir at Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood for 12 years now, and I can't imagine ever wanting to leave. I'll end up being that little old church lady who, despite an aged, crackly voice, still sings in the choir until her children move her into "the home". It's always a joy, always challenging, always a learning experience. I adore the people. I adore the music. I adore being an active, productive part of my church. And I love my weirdly liberal Catholic church.

Here are a couple of recordings I have dug up, which hopefully will illustrate to you why I love my choir so much. First is from The Seven Last Words of Christ by Theodore Dubois - The First Word. Our baritone soloist is John Schaefer and our tenor soloist is Louie Ulanday...

 

BSC First Word

The next is an African-American spiritual called Every Time I Feel the Spirit...

 

Every Time I Feel The Spirit

So, what things do you want to spend the rest of your life with?

 

RTT: Old People, Joke and Balls

Christmas is progressing nicely in the Second Blooming household. Miraculously, ALL the gift shopping is done and now I can concentrate on planning my Feast of the Seven Fishes for Christmas Eve. Expect a menu in a few days.

In the meantime, I've been doing a little baking. Yesterday, I told Jude that I was going to bake some Christmas cookies, and would love for him to help. He cried "Hurray!", gave me a big hug and said "That's the perfect Mother-Son Christmas activity!" I swear to God. Where in the hell did he get that? Could he have been reading Ladies Home Journal behind my back?

Anyway, we made these, which were one of Mama's best Norwegian Christmas cookies. Buttery and nutty, and not too sweet.

Lilli Kages

5 cups flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1 cup almonds, chopped fine (I use the food processor)

2 cups butter

1 cup sugar

2 eggs

3 tsp. vanilla

egg whites, beaten

colored sugar for decorating

Sift together flour and baking powder. Add almonds. In a separate large bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Add dry ingredients to the butter mixture. Form dough into 1 inch balls. Dip each ball first in the beaten egg whites, then in red or green colored sugar. Place on cookie sheets, colored sugar side up. Flatten each ball with a fork, making a little waffle pattern. Bake in a 350 degree oven for about 8 to 10 minutes, until they are just browning on the bottom.

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You have to try this out: Go to Google.com. Type in "Let it snow" then enter. Voila! A Winter Wonderland! Be sure to use the "Defrost" button when you need it.

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Yesterday, Jude's Cub Scout pack went caroling at St. John of God old folks home. I, of course, opened my big mouth and volunteered to lead it up, but I must say it was really worth it. I printed out sheets of Christmas song lyrics, and tried to rehearse them a bit. The dads seemed to consider it a rather radical idea when I suggested that we all try to sing in the same key.  But the boys rose to the occasion and were very, very sweet and enthusiastic. Lots of happy old people.

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Because everybody deserves a "gift of pleasure".

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My Daddy's Christmas Joke -

Once there was a small church in a small town, which was in desperate need of new hymnals. The old ones were worn out and falling apart, and the young pastor desperately wanted to get them new ones before Christmas. Unfortunately, the church was low on funds. So the pastor started asking around to local businesses, to see if anyone would be kind enough to buy the churches new hymnals. He was delighted when the local drugstore agreed to foot the bill. The new hymnals arrived on December 24th, just in time for Christmas services. On Christmas morning, the congregation all opened their beautiful new hymnals and began to sing...

Hark the herald angels sing,

Carter's Pills are just the thing!

Peace on earth and mercy mind,

Two for adult, one for child.

(Every Christmas morning, one of the only times Mama and I could drag Daddy to church, they'd sing Hark the Herald Angels Sing and Daddy would murmur these lyrics under his breath. Daddy and I would get into a giggling fit. Mama never figured out why.)

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For all of my Jewish readers...

 

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After making the Norwegian Christmas cookies, I made a batch of Mama's Bourbon Balls. I've mentioned before how Mama and her best friend, my Aunt Margaret, got together almost every afternoon to either cook/bake/can or play gin. And drink bourbon. But sometimes the bourbon actually made it's way into the food. I remember one particularly productive afternoon when these two ladies started experimenting with the contents of Aunt Margaret's liquor cabinet. They made Rum Balls, Kahlua Balls, Creme de Menthe Balls, Creme de Cacao Balls. Just went crazy with the balls. Their only unsuccessful version was Scotch Balls. Sort of taking a good idea one step too far. Anyway, here's their recipe. Feel free to experiment. WARNING: Not for children. Fairly boozy.

Mama and Aunt Margaret's Bourbon Balls

2 tbsp. cocoa

1 cup powdered sugar

1/4 cup bourbon

2 tbsp. light corn syrup

2 cups crushed vanilla wafers (food processor)

1 cup finely chopped nuts (food processor)

Extra powdered sugar for dusting

Sift cocoa and powdered sugar into a bowl. Combine liquor and corn syrup, then mix into the cocoa and sugar. Add vanilla wafers and nuts; mix well. Form into 3/4 inch balls and roll in powdered sugar. Let dry for a few hours. Yields 3 dozen. These freeze well.

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My choir sang this on Sunday. Not a traditional Christmas song, but certainly in the Advent spirit. I'm afraid that while my choir has soul, we're not quite THIS soulful. Enjoy...

 

Very good then. Run over to Stacy's for many more random carolers.

RTT: Lucius, Rainbow and The Doctor

 

Bad news...I have a cold.

Good news...I have an excuse to take NyQuil!

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After all my hootchy-cootchy dancing and boasting last week, this week I totally got what I deserved...

Weight Watchers weigh in -

GAINED .2 pounds.

Okay, I realize that's not much of a gain, but I'm supposed to be LOSING for God's sake. I'm thinking it's a plateau.

I will not allow myself to become discouraged. I wonder how many WW points are in a shot of NyQuil.

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My latest hot, moody Brit crush...

Jason Isaacs as Jackson Brodie on the new Masterpiece Mysteries show "Case Histories".  Brooding, damaged Scottish detective. All the stuff that I love. Mmm. You must check him out. I watched two 2-hour episodes before I figured out why he looked so damned familiar. Picture that face with long, weird white hair. Nasty attitude. Wand.

Lucius Malfoy! Who I never, ever, once thought was sexy. So...I'm thinking this Jason Isaacs must be a damned good actor.

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The altar went rainbow at my church on Saturday...

My choir sang for a celebration of the 25th anniversary of the Los Angeles Ministry of Lesbian and Gay Catholics. Yes, we are some rebel Catholics. Only in Hollywood, I know. It made me very happy though. I've never been in a church so filled with love. It was a night all about love and acceptance and love and acceptance and more love and acceptance. Kumbayah.

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New favorite shopping site - RUCHE. Really cute stuff, really cheap. Look at this necklace...

$18.99, including the matching earrings! And this one...

$15.99 with the matching earrings!

Love, love!

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Ever since Jude and I visited Disneyland a couple of weeks ago, I've been meaning to tell y'all about Shelby's blog - My Year With the Mouse . Shelby used to be part of Gen X Mom's Blog, but has recently been writing about "One woman's quest to do everything there is to do at Disneyland." If you'll be visiting Disneyland anytime soon, you definitely need to check out Shelby. She has been exploring every corner of the Land of Mouse, and is full of discoveries and hints.

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I fear that I have lead my child into Official Dorkdom. He too, is now a Doctor Who aficionado. His latest desire is to have...

Yes, a Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver. This one here is actually a working flashlight (or torch as we say in the UK) -

 

 

Is that too dorky? Maybe I should just get him ...

 

 

Or I could just get it for...me.

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Okay, I'm off to take my shot of NyQuil. What fun! Please drop by Stacy for more Rebellious Randomness.

 

Gretchen's Busy Weekend

My weekend - in bullet points...

• Friday, 6:00 pm - Took Jude to his Cub Scout Pack meeting. Three hours in a gym with 40 boys, all screaming and running around. Much chaos.
• In new unofficial role as "Cub Scout Leader Who Doesn't Really Have a Position or Any Authority and Refuses to Wear the Ugly Uniform But Seems to Do a Tremendous Amount of the Work" spent much of this time arranging/passing out new scouting t-shirts and handing out achievement beltloops/patches.
• Actually achieved 3 patches of my very own as "CSLWDRHAPOAAARTWTUUBSTDATAOTW".
• Didn't eat any of the dinner, because the Webelos had made cheeseburgers and Doritos for dinner, and that's not exactly Weight Watchers.
• Friday, 9:00 - Returned home and managed to scrounge up some Weight Watchers doable foods.
• Couldn't get Jude to go to sleep until 10:00, because he'd started a new book (see sidebar).
• 10:00 pm -Stupidly started fiddling around with this Pinterest thing everybody is talking about.
• 12:30 pm - Realized that I was still fiddling around with this Pinterest thing, and that it was 12:30.
• Saturday, 6:45 am - Alarm went off.
• 7:15 am - Arrived with Jude at the soccer field at the time his coaches had told us we needed to arrive for his 8:00 am soccer game.
• 7:45 am - Everyone else on Jude's soccer team arrived at soccer field, including aforementioned coaches. Sigh...
• 9:00 am - Painful defeat - 0 - 3. Sadness all around.
• Went to grocery store on the way home. Remembered to buy toilet paper, milk and wine. Yea me! Forgot to buy dog food. Sad for Fancy, the dog.
• Cleaned house. Did laundry.
• 1:00 pm - Walked around to the cul-de-sac to help set up for our neighborhood associations yearly fall block party as was asked. Two other neighbors there. No one knows what's going on. We stare at each other for 30 minutes, waiting for someone who knew something to arrive, while Jude flew around the cul-de-sac madly on his scooter with no helmet on. No one who knew anything ever showed up. Went home.
• Piddled with this Pinterest thing.
• Cooked  chicken taquitos and hotdogs to take to the block party.
• 4:00 pm - Walked around the corner to the block party carrying taquitos and hot dogs. Jude entered the giant blow up slide thingy with all the other neighborhood children.
• Hung out with neighbors. Ate one piece of chicken - only Weight Watchers worthy food at block party.
• Stared at barbecued ribs and chocolate cake, but didn't eat them.
• Felt hungry, but happily pious.
• 7:30 pm - Jude's friend A.J. arrived at the block party and joined Jude in aforementioned giant blow up slide thingy, from which Jude had yet to emerge.
• 8:30 pm - Jude and A.J. decided they wanted to exit the giant blow up slide thingy together and I needed to take them back to our house to play to Wii. Jimmy stayed at the party.
• Still hadn't bought any dog food, so gave Fancy two hot dogs for dinner.
• While boys played Wii, I watched 5 episodes of "Criminal Minds" which I'd taped over the last many weeks. Jimmy called to tell me that he and his little friends Brian and Erick (both other middle-aged dads) were going to go to Erick's garage and "jam" (play guitars and tambourines, sing and...drink tremendous amounts of beer).
• Fancy's hot dog induced gas filled the house with a horrid stench.
• 11:00 pm - Managed to make Jude and A.J. go to sleep. Stayed up watching more "Criminal Minds".
• 12:00 pm - Tried to go to sleep, but due to excessive "Criminal Minds" viewing, was sure that a serial killer was going to sneak into our house and do something heinous like staple my eyes open, or dip the boys feet in acid.
• 1:00 am - Time Jimmy claims that he came home, drunk, from Erick's "jam session".
• 2:30 am - Time Jimmy did, in fact, come home, drunk, from Erick's "jam session", because I heard him.
• Sunday, 9:15 am - Woke up, looked at clock and freaked out - needed to be at church, Jude and A.J. in tow, for pre-mass choir practice by 10:00 am.
• 10:00 am - Tried to leave for church. Made hungover Jimmy get up to move his car, which was blocking my car in the driveway. Jimmy's car wouldn't start.
• Jude, A. J. and I, with the help of some random neighbors who happened to be walking by, manage to push Jimmy's car out of the driveway onto the street.
• 10:30 am - Arrive at church for my 10:00 rehearsal. The large church parking lot is all set up for the annual church carnival, which we were planning to attend after mass. Boys are very excited. About the carnival, not so much about the mass.
• 12:00 noon - Church is over, and we head out to the carnival. After joining my friend Lynn and her daughters, Julianna and Isabella to set up the church auditorium for our choir hosted bingo, we all hit the rides and amusements.
• 12:30 pm - Jude's friend A.J. asks for the first time if he can play the "toss the ping pong ball and win a goldfish" game. I tell him "no", as A.J.'s mother, Ronda, won't allow him to have a goldfish because she has cats.
• 1:30 pm - Jude and A. J. have run through all $40 worth of carnival ride tickets I've purchase for them.
• 1:35 pm - Jude and A. J. think they may need to vomit from excessive carnival ride riding. No one actually vomits.
• I send a frantic text to A. J.'s mother, Ronda, saying "THEY'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, COME GET THEM!"
• 1:40 pm - I eat one piece of grilled chicken from the Filipino Food Booth, the only food I can find at the carnival which is Weight Watchers approved.
• 1:45 pm - Jude's friend A. J. asks me for the 968th time if he can play the "toss the ping pong ball and win a goldfish" game. I say "OH, ALRIGHT, FOR GOD"S SAKE!"
• 1:55 pm - A. J. spends $6 in game tickets to try to win a $.18 goldfish. Luckily, he's not a winner, and we aren't forced to tote a bag of ill-fated fish around for the rest of the day.
• 2:30 pm - Ronda arrives and whisks those boys off. Whew.
• 3:00 pm - Choir Bingo starts up in the auditorium. I work in my new career - Parttime Volunteer Church Bingo Caller. "O - 62!"
• 8:15 pm - I stop calling bingo.
• 8:45 pm - I arrive home to find hungover Jimmy asleep, while Jude (whom Ronda had kindly fed and returned home) reads next to him in bed.
• 8:46 pm - I pour myself a much needed glass of wine. I realize I haven't eaten any dinner, and eat 1 Point worth of smoked turkey and a cheese stick.
• 8:50 pm - Realized that I still hadn't bought any dog food for Fancy. Gave her 6 dog treats and some smoked turkey for dinner.
• 8:55 pm - Prepared for dog gas.
• 9:00 pm - Made Jude go to sleep.
• 9:05 pm - Wrote this blog post.

Camp Mama 2011 Week Six: Sisters

This week, our small, testosterone heavy family was turned upside down by the arrival of...

 

GIRLS!!!!!

As a thank you gift to my friends Lynn and Darren for hosting my 50th birthday party in their home, we took their two precious daughters, Julianna, 7, and Isabella, 4 for three days. In the past 7 years, Lynn and Darren have been away from the girls exactly...NEVER. Not ever. And when I suggested the idea to Lynn, she jumped at it so fast it made my head spin!

Lynn booked them two nights in Vegas, baby - Celebrity Spa Suite at the Luxor. Lynn, despite her nice church choir girl exterior, is in fact, a poker-crazy gambling fiend. And I say that with great love. But the woman loves her poker. So with dreams of poker tournaments, all-you-can-eat buffets, spa packages and NO CHILDREN, they dropped the girls off at our house on Monday morning, and hit the road.

Now you have to understand that Julianna and Isabella have always been the closest thing to sisters that Jude has. They've known each other all of their lives. Lynn and I joke that they will always be each others backup prom dates. To Jude, they are the perfect girls, because they basically seem to be totally happy just following Jude around watching him do stuff. Which is basically what we did for the entire time. Julianna actually begged to be allowed to just sit and watch Jude play video games - clearly she's his perfect woman.

 

Julianna is the smarty-pants, sort of the Hermione of the group. She's extremely smart, and likes to tell you all the things she knows. She seems to think Jude can do no wrong. She's always saying things like "Oh my goodness, Jude, you're HILARIOUS!" or "Oh my goodness, Jude, you're SO good at that!" She has many theories about the way things work, many of which are...iffy. But no matter how much Jude would call her on these theories, she never backed down.

FADE IN:

Jude, Julianna and Isabella are squished together into the backseat of the Prius. Isabella's carseat takes up most of the room, much to Jude's annoyance. Gretchen is at the wheel.They are driving by Silver Lake.

JULIANNA

It's a VERY large lake.

JUDE

No it's not.

JULIANNA

Yes it is. It's VERY large.

JUDE

I've seen WAY bigger lakes than this.

JULIANNA

It's large. It's maybe even a pond.

JUDE

(huh?)

A pond is smaller than a lake.

JULIANNA

No it's not. A pond's very large.

JUDE

No it's not.

JULIANNA

Yes it is.

JUDE

No it's not.

JULIANNA

Yes it is.

The bickering continued until Jude screames "MOM!"

FADE OUT.

Isabella, the little one, is possibly, the cutest little child on the planet Earth. She is always busy, always smiling, always sees the sunny side, and has the cutest little teeny cutey-patootey voice. She's practically, a cartoon character. But she is also...an instigator. She has a funny sense of humor, and loves to make trouble. She teases Jude constantly, and totally knows how to get his goat.

FADE IN:

Jude, Julianna and Isabella are squished together in the backseat of the Prius. Jude is once again, crushed by Isabella's carseat. Gretchen drives.

JUDE

(to Isabella)

Dude! Can't you lean the other way? You're squishing me.

ISABELLA

Okay.

(beat, impish smile)

Dude.

JUDE

You're still squishing me. And don't call me dude.

ISABELLA

Sorry.

(beat)

Dude.

JUDE

Mom! Isabella keeps calling me dude!

GRETCHEN

Well, you keep calling her dude.

JUDE

Yeah, but I can call her dude. It's my catchphrase.

GRETCHEN

Your catchphrase?

JUDE

Yeah. My catchphrase. It's what I say. You know, like..."dude".

JULIANNA

Yeah. It's his catchphrase.

ISABELLA

Okay.

(beat) 

Dude.

JUDE

Stop calling me dude!

JULIANNA

Isabella! Stop calling Jude dude! He doesn't like it. It's his catchphrase.

ISABELLA

Okay.

They drive on in peaceful silence for a while.

ISABELLA

Dude.

FADE OUT.

 

FADE IN:

Jude, Julianna and Isabella are squished together in the backseat of the Prius. Isabella is singing.

ISABELLA

(singing)

This old man, he played one, he played knick-knack nanna

panna thumb...

JUDE

(rolling his eyes)

That's not how it goes.

JULIANNA

That's NOT how it goes Isabella.

JUDE

That doesn't even make sense!

JULIANNA

It doesn't even make sense! It goes like this

(singing) This old man, he played one,

he played knick-knack on his thumb.

JUDE

Yeah. That makes a LOT more sense.

ISABELLA

(smiling, undaunted, singing)

With a knick-knack paddy-whack give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

JUDE

That's just weird. Why would an old man go rolling home?

JULIANNA

It's just weird!

Isabella continues singing, ignoring her critics.

FADE OUT.

Both of these girls are truly, genuinely lovely children. And I'm not just saying that because their parents will read this. They are smart and kind and good listeners and easy-going and well-mannered and sweet, sweet, sweet. So if I was going to suddenly add two extra children to our family, these are the two to add. And despite the fact that they tortured Jude, he really LOVED having them around. And bless their hearts, they endured being dragged around by me to all of our activities - Jude's swim practice, Jude's tennis lesson, my auditions, and on Wednesday, a THREE hour wardrobe fitting for a Walmart commercial I booked (sneaked that in on you, didn't I?). For three hours they sat there playing, as good as gold, while I tried on endless clothes from Walmart. Nobody there could believe how good they were.

But I'm telling you...one child VS three children? HUGE difference. Good Lord. How do you people do it? All of you with three children, HOW? And girls? Egad. They never stop talking. Ever. And they want you to paint their nails and stuff. And they change clothes all the time. They're very particular and careful about their clothes. I'm so used to Jude just putting on the first thing he sees in his drawer. On the first night, Isabella told me she hadn't brought a nightgown to wear to bed. So I got her one of Jude's t-shirts to wear. It looked so outrageously cute on her I couldn't stand it. The second night, she asked if she could wear one of Jude's pajama tops. Again...TOO cute. Then on the last night, she suddenly comes in wearing pajamas. "Where did you get those, Isabella? I thought you had forgotten your pajamas." "I was saving them for the last night." HAH!

And the hair! Oh dear God, the hair! Both of these girls have a LOT of long, super curly hair. Every night after their bath, I had to slather their hair with detangler, brush out all the rats nests, blow it dry, then pull it all back into a tight braid. I don't know how Lynn does this every night.

 
 

On the last night they spent the night, Jimmy came in and crawled into bed.

"You know" he said "I was walking through the house earlier, and they were all running around in their little pajamas, laughing. And I suddenly thought, just for a second...that it would be nice to..." And he stopped.

"To have a house full of kids." I finished.

"Yeah." He leaned back in bed, wistful. "But I only thought it for a second."

 

Yeah. It was really cool to have all these sweet little kids running around. Hard. But cool. If only we had been a little more blessed.

But maybe we'll get more chances to enjoy a full house.

FADE IN:

A sleepy Jude, Julianna and Isabella are squished together in the back of the Prius. They are driving back home after the THREE hour wardrobe fitting. An exhausted Gretchen drives.

JULIANNA

Gretchen?

GRETCHEN

Yes, Julianna.

JULIANNA

Jude's my best friend.

JUDE

(surprised)

I am?

JULIANNA

Yes. I've known you since I was just only a couple of days old!

And now that we've had our very first sleepover with Jude, next

time, my Mom and Dad can go away to HAWAII. For a whole week.

They would like that. And we can stay with you. If they go to Hawaii,

my Mom will need to bring a life jacket. Because she doesn't know

how to swim. And they have volcanos in Hawaii. Lots of volcanos. And

sometimes the volcanos erupt. And if one erupted, my Mom might get

washed into the ocean, so she'd need the life jacket...

JUDE

(interupting Julianna's monologue)

If they come for a week, we're gonna need a bigger car.

FADE OUT.

RTT: Muppets, Hollandaise and The Big Man

It's Tuesday once again. Please play along with Stacy.

Idiot here got a ticket the other day for talking on the stupid cell phone while I was driving. I know, STUPID. My little ear thingy had run out of juice, and I was just chatting away while holding the thing in my hand. I pulled up to a stop light and while I was sitting there gabbing, I casually looked to my left. There, standing on the corner, just STANDING there, was a cop. He casually turned his head and saw me, did an actual double-take, and motioned for me to pull over. We were both shaking our heads in disbelief. I rolled down my window and said "Could I possibly have worse luck?" and at the very same time he said "That was just the worst luck." He was kind of cute. He seemed to actually feel bad giving me a ticket. He said he'd been standing on that corner for weeks, catching people who ran the stop light, and I was the first fool he'd caught talking on the cell phone and just looking at him. Well, he didn't use the word "fool". That was me.  I really should charge that ear thingy before I get caught again, if I can just find that charger...

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This makes me ridiculously happy...

 

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This is pretty cool...Future Me. You can write an email to your future self and they'll send it to you in a year. I basically gave my future self a stern talking to, because I'm assuming that when I receive the email in a year, I won't have done any of the things I'm hoping to have done by then. Cynical much?

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Jimmy had a damned fine Father's Day, if I do say so myself. In the morning, I made him a Crab and Asparagus Omelet with Hollandaise Sauce, Hash Browns and fruit (which made me late for church, of course, because that damned Hollandaise Sauce requires some serious whisking). Jimmy then proceeded to lie in bed ALL DAY. That's ALL the man did for the WHOLE day. Then at night, he and Jude curled up on the sofa and watched "Abbott and Costello Meets Frankenstein" followed by "Them!" I made two of Jimmy's favorites for dinner - Mussels and Basil Bread Crumbs, and Shrimp with Feta (I gave y'all the recipe for the shrimp here). I think he is one damned lucky man!

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On Saturday, we had a big party at my church, and it was SO FUN. I can't decide if this is because I have finally reached an age where "partying at the church" sounds like a fun idea, or if I just truly belong to a particularly fun church. I think it's possibly a little of both. They had a big banquet in honor of our wonderful pastor, Father Mike, who is leaving us (boo hoo), and after being forced to sit through endless speakers and such, when the band finally started, we all went crazy! Dancing like mad. I mean, my choir is always up for a par-tay, but this time we also had lectors and sacristans and acolytes and ushers and people who do the children's liturgy of the word, and priests all whooping it up together. It was really wild watching all these folks who I normally only see during mass on Sundays, dancing their butts off and guzzling margaritas. At one point we had Father Mike out on the dance floor and we were all boogieing to "Disco Inferno". Very surreal.

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I'm a little heartbroken this week over the loss of Clarence Clemons. So I'm leaving you with this video. Please listen. His passionate, powerful sax solo comes in around 4:40, and makes me cry.

R.I.P Big Man.

 

 

Easter Recap

When last we heard from "The Adventures of Gretchen Mother/Choir Geek"...

Gretchen had foolishly decided to redecorate the bedroom during the week of Catholic terror better known as...Holy Week.

Did Gretchen's church choir manage to pull off all that Handel?

Was Jimmy capable of caring for their child for three nights in one week while Gretchen was off singing her butt off?

Was Gretchen able to finish all that painting without painting herself into a corner? Both literally and figuratively?

Will she finish all this home-improvement before the invasion of the in-laws?

And what about that pesky cold Gretchen felt was on the way?

This and many more questions will be answered if you stay tuned...

WHEW!

Easter has been survived.

I will bring you a recap with bullet points. I love bullet points. It's a bullet point kind of day.

• Wednesday = 5 hours of painting + 3 hours of choir rehearsal.
• Thursday = 2 hours of painting + early dismissal at Jude's school + 2 hour 8-year old's roller skating birthday party + 2 hour Holy Thursday/Washing of the Feet Mass.
• Friday. The day of the big Good Friday Tre Ore at church. Theodore Dubois' "Seven Last Words of Christ". Since I just couldn't force my child to sit through 3 hours of tragic sacred choral music, Jude was sent off with my friend Cathleen and her daughter, Kiyomi, to an egg hunt. Yes, he was playing with a...girl. A bit of an issue when first discussed, but ended up being totally fun, of course. My choir? FABULOUS. If I do say so myself. And looky...you may check us out too. This is a live, unmixed recording, but I think we sound pretty danged good...

  BSC First Word

• Bad news re: Friday was that I totally forgot to book out with my agents, and they called me with a last minute audition right when the big sing was going to start. They were NOT HAPPY with me that I couldn't make the audition.
• So my penance (as though a 3 hour Good Friday service was not enough penance) was TWO auditions on Saturday. Both kind of stupid. Argh. Poor Jude was dragged around with me from audition to audition. I guess it was better than playing with girls.
• We did get to go to another egg hunt on Saturday, at the house of some old friends of ours who have a little 3-year old girl. Once again, it was Jude and a bunch of girls. At one point, Jude was playing with this toy, this long tunnel thing like this...
• He put the thing over his body and stood up so the tunnel was vertical. He then proceeded to chase the girls around and try to whack them with the top of the tunnel, which he could whip around by bending at the waist. Get the visual?  At which point my friend Brian, who never misses a phallic symbol if he can help it, pointed out that Jude had turned himself into a giant plastic penis, and was chasing the girls around and attacking them. I'm afraid this was true.
• So Saturday night, Jimmy had one of his many ailments, and took to bed. I was thus forced to do the Easter bunnying all by myself. All that damned egg filling, and basket stuffing, followed by furtively wandering around the yard late at night with a flashlight. Gang dudes kept cruising past our house and checking me out. It was rather unnerving.
• Easter morning, Jimmy was still laid up, so I went outside in my bathrobe, clutching my coffee while Jude scampered around egg hunting. In the middle of filling his basket, Jude suddenly looked up, shook his head seriously and said "The Easter Bunny is SO kind." I love my child. I also took this as a personal compliment.

 
                       

• I'm taking this bullet point to vent a bit. Doesn't the Easter Bunny seem a little confusing to you? I mean, Santa makes sense, you know. He's a man, and he's got a sleigh and magic reindeer and a vast workforce of elves. But the bunny? He's just one little mammal. Where does he carry those eggs? Does he carry a magic basket clutched in his teeth? Does he have a little magic burrow with a bunch of...squirrels or deer or... you know, wildlife type creatures who stuff plastic eggs from the Target with Hershey's kisses? The whole mythology of the bunny is a bit vague. Somebody should work on this.
• After the egg hunt, Jude and I got gussied up and went to church for yet more singing. The one good thing about Jimmy not feeling up to going to church with is is that I got to dress the child the way I wanted. In his little suit and tie. Last year, Jimmy brought him with him to church (I had to go early to practice with the choir) and had ignored the nice little outfit I had laid out for the kid, in favor of dressing him Jimmystyle - this weird scarf/ascot around his neck in lieu of a tie, and a fedora!
• Hats!

 

Okay, Isabella looks like a demon child there. This is better...

 

• The bedroom is painted. I moved all of the furniture BY MYSELF. That includes two dressers and a king-sized bed with bed frame. Don't ask where Jimmy was. I will write more about this process, and provide pictures later this week.
• Jude's Spring Break has officially started. The activities for Monday, his first big day of holiday were - watching Mom paint, going with Mom to a dental appointment, and cleaning his room. I have promised him that his holiday will improve.
• The cold went away.

That is all the bullet points I've got.

RTT: The Christmas Edition

Lots and lots of thoughts. Mostly Christmas related. Therefore they aren't technically random, but whatever...

Two years ago, I finally broke down and purchased something that I'd always sworn I'd never purchase. An artificial tree. It came after years of arguing with Jimmy about the needles and the hassle and the fire hazard and the expense. I finally cracked and gave in. I'd always HATED artificial trees. Aside from the fact that they're FAKE and smell of plastic instead of, you know, CHRISTMAS, they're also just so...old fogeyish. Everyone's grandmother eventually switched to the artificial tree, and they'd always talk on and on about it "It's so simple. No muss, no fuss!" And worst of all "It looks so realistic!" Which, of course, it never did. Ever. It always looks like a big plastic tree. But I have to say that this Martha Stewart K-Mart tree that I bought really does loom realistic. I swear. I mean, until you get really close to it. And it's very clean. And easy. So I've come to feel okay about it. Not exactly LIKE the thing, but I don't hate it either.

And now, suddenly, I have made a discovery that has changed my entire attitude about the dreaded artificial tree. Buying  a cut-fresh Christmas tree is no longer politically correct! A friend of mine's kids actually got a lecture at school about the evils of killing a tree for your family's personal pleasure.  So now, I'm not an old maw maw. I'm an eco-obsessed, left-wing, self-righteous know-it-all. Much better.

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 I don't know. "Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow" would probably scare me silly.

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What's the deal with the Christmas Artichoke? I keep seeing Christmas decorations which feature the artichoke. Here's one from the HomeGoods the other day...

 
Someone please explain.

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On Saturday at the 5:30 mass at church (I wasn't there, damn, I always miss the fun stuff) they were in the middle of singing the "Holy, Holy, Holy", when suddenly over the sound system blasted some dude singing "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...". Apparently, somebody in the neighborhood was singing karaoke Christmas carols on a wireless microphone, and our church sound system picked it up! Then it happened again just after communion "Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock..." Hysterical. Everybody in the church is looking around, thinking that some crazed caroler has made their way into the choir loft!

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And speaking of church and choir and stuff...the other day during choir practice, we were working on some carols. Often, at the end of a piece of music which we've been singing in parts, the soprano and alto parts will come together on the last note of the song. We altos often drop down to another note in the chord, just to make the harmony richer. So we were singing Joy to the World, or whatever, and at the end we just naturally dropped down to the lower note. And I asked Joe, our new choral director, in a rather loud voice "Can we go down? We like to go down." Immediately after I said this, my friend Gwen and I realized the rather naughty thing I'd said, and started to giggle uncontrollably. Embarrassingly enough, so did Joe!

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Okay. I'm still on my eggnog craze. But I've almost finished the last bottle, so the end is near. I'm rationing myself so I don't run out before Christmas. It's difficult, because I want to guzzle. But I'm being very, very good. I have now found a special glass for my eggnog. My special eggnog glass. Which just makes it even creepier. If possible.

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 Jude's teacher this year is from Austin, Texas - just like me! For the past couple of weeks, she's had her teenage cousin visiting, who's been acting as an aide in the classroom. On the last day of school before Christmas break, this guest teacher girl passed out to each of the kids a little something she'd brought from home. A Texas Chewie Pecan Praline from Lammes Candies in Austin.

 

Jude, I'm afraid, had no interest in it (he's purely a chocolate man), so he handed it to me. Oh my God! It was an absolutely sensoral flashback to Christmas from my childhood. Every year, somebody would give Daddy a box of Texas Chewie Pecan Pralines as a Christmas gift, and Mama and I ADORED them. We'd savor each chewy, buttery bite. AH! Isn't it amazing how one, random little gift can bring such pleasure!

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 Now that I'm all sentimental for Texas Christmases, I'll share with you my favorite Texas Christmas song. Robert Earl Keene is a Texas music icon, though he's little-known anywhere else in the country. The lyrics of this song are hilarious and brilliant. Ignore the stupid music video if you can, just focus on Robert E.K.'s cute smirk and the words of the song. Must say this reminds me so much of Christmas with my first husband's family in Garland, TX that I can't stand it! Enjoy...

 

 

 

 

Curly Girl

Look to the right.

Okay, I know you're transfixed by the gorgeous and charming picture of me and my precious child, but try to tear your eyes away from it and look down the page.

Down past the reviews, past Recent Posts, past Categories until you reach Spread the Love, my blogroll.

And while I should have you click on every single link, because there's a lot of brilliance over there, for today, I'm just asking you to check out one - Curly Girl. Curly Girl is the brainchild of my dear friend Lynn.

Lynn should not be unfamiliar to those of you who are constant readers. Lynn and I have been in our church choir together for 10 years. She's the one for whom I am her backup Emmy date. And it was in her pool that Jude and I spent about half this past summer. She is the purveyor of apple martinis, my online gaming cohort, and my partner in many a duet.

Lynn's been a wonderful and incredibly supportive friend to me, and Jude and her girls are more like siblings (or at least cousins) than friends. They've really grown up together...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lynn's not only a mother and wife, but she's an extremely talented composer and musician. She's a true artistic spirit, a kind and ever-giving soul and a truly wonderful friend.

She's also an always fascinating mass of contradictions. On one hand, she's a good little Catholic girl - the oldest of a Baltimore family of 7 kids, married to her college sweetheart, sings in her church choir, a constant do-gooder. On the other hand, she's a wicked card shark - the woman wins poker tournaments in Vegas! She's a freaky Bowie fan. And she can put away the martinis! She's equally comfortable in a room full of moms, a room full of church ladies, and a room full of Emmy winning composers. She's as strong as steel, but with a marshmallow center.

In the past, you may have clicked on my Curly Girl link and found the original incarnation of Lynn's blog, a place where she posted her haiku. Which was a lot of fun. But she has recently rethought and revamped it, and the result is Curly Girl Music World - Music, Motherhood and the sometimes fabulous life of a girl composer.

This isn't your typical mommy blog. It's poetic and thought-provoking. Insightful and honest. Deeply personal, yet universal. And every post includes a piece of music written and performed by Lynn - sometimes slow and easy, sometimes rock and roll.

Please, PLEASE visit Curly Girl. Looky, I'm even giving you an extra link here, in case you're too lazy to scroll down the page! Take a look around, go back through her last few posts and don't forget to LISTEN! Oh, and make sure you leave a comment or two, so she knows you came by.