Second Blooming

Spin Cycle: Best and Worst

Inspired by this post by Elizabeth...

Best - Going to New York all by myself for 5 whole days.  Man, did I need that. No responsibilities to anyone but myself. A chance to have a little fun and see old friends. A chance be artistic and perform purely for the love of the music and the experience.

Worst - Going to New York all by myself for 5 whole days. Not only did I worry about Jimmy and Jude the whole time, but I kept wishing that they could be with me to experience what I was doing. I think it would have made Jude super proud to see/hear our performance. And we would have had a fun time as a family.

Best - Finding that Jimmy cleaned the house while I was out of town. Made a huge difference coming home to a semi-tidy house.

Worst - Finding that Jimmy cleaned the house while I was out of town. Hopefully, I will have located all of the things which he "tidied" to the wrong place by next year or so. The cabinets in the kitchen are mayhem. Nothing is where it belongs. The towels have been washed and put in the linen closet, but instead of being folded neatly, they have simply been wadded up and stuffed on the shelves. And the vacuum cleaner seems to have been used to suck up some rather large item, and is now not working at all.

Best - Being extremely involved at Jude's school. I truly love being that mom. The one who is always down at school, and helps run things. I love knowing and being known by the principal and all the teachers. I love being there for him, and he actually encourages me to do more, and get even more involved. I know that soon he will want me to be nowhere near him, so I intend to milk this as long as I can.

Worst - Being extremely involved at Jude's school. It's all I stinking do. Today, right on the heels of my week-long Book Fair, I am running a Used Book Sale to benefit the library. I seem to be the Book Mommy. Which is a cool thing to be, but still...

Best - Owning a home. I'll never forget the day when I was struggling to make my way from our apartment down to the washer/dryer in the basement, juggling baby Jude strapped in his Baby Bjorn, a massive bag of dirty towels, and a handful of quarters, and I collapsed in a puddle of tears and decided that it was finally time to buy a house. Our house is very small, but it is sweet, and we are extremely lucky to have bought it when we did, and with our peculiar and always-fluctuating work/finance situation (actors never have steady work, so getting a loan can be difficult). And it has managed to maintain its value in the freaky LA housing market. And every time I use the washer/dryer I give up a prayer of thanks.

Worst - Owning a home. Dang, I miss the days of just calling the landlord when something breaks and having their people show up and fix it for free. And of having all of the building maintenance taken care of by someone else. Our little house is in desperate need of a paint job, and it's just so dang expensive!

Best - Cooking dinner for my family every night. I love cooking. I really do. I consider it an art. An extremely creative and nurturing art. I love planning a menu and shopping for ingredients and cooking a meal. I love improvising a meal from whatever I have on hand. I love feeding Jimmy and Jude and having them love what I have made for them. Every time I cook, for the last 20 years, Jimmy has said to me "It's delicious, honey." It's our little thing. And I love it.

Worst - Cooking dinner for my family every night. Some nights I just DO NOT WANT TO MOVE, let alone get in that kitchen and work. Sometimes I just want somebody to take me out to dinner!

Best - Becoming an old woman. There is a freedom in aging - I'm never going to look as good as I used to, so I don't really need to put forth that much effort anymore. And an old broad can say whatever she wants. It's true! I suddenly just blurt out truths that I would never have shared in the past. And I keep finding myself boldly disregarding the rules and doing what I want to do. I'm sure now that nobody is hanging out with me because I'm good-looking, but simply because they like my company. I'd like to be an old woman for a very long time. And as they say, it's better than the alternative.

Worst - Becoming an old woman. I am never the cutest one in the room any more. Men do not check me out any more. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, or at a picture of myself, and I'm stunned by what I see. Where did my mother come from? I suddenly have weird parts - those wobbly old-lady triceps, crepey skin on my decolletage, an extra chin. And worst of all, I get so tired. When I run, my joints hurt. As Bette Davis said, "Old age is no place for sissies." Luckily, I've always been pretty tough.

Best - Writing this blog. I genuinely feel that writing this blog has changed my life for the positive. It's a forum in which to express myself. It's a way in which to connect to the greater world around me. It's an opportunity to stop and look at and examine the events of my life, and see them from a healthy perspective and maybe laugh at myself a bit. It has undoubtedly helped me become a better and much more confident writer. And it's been an incredible opportunity to meet and get to know (sometimes in person, but mostly in cyberspace) a huge variety of amazing people from across the nation.

Worst - Writing this blog. It can be a drudge. I admit it. But I feel that my recent "blog every day of the month" experiment really did free me from feeling that the blog is a commitment that I am chained to. I finally feel that I can write if I want, and don't write if I don't want. But I have to say that usually? I want. So thank you all for reading my ramblings!

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Go and read the other Best and Worst posts this week!

Suzicate at The Water Witch's Daughter

Nain at View From Down Here

VandyJ at The Testosterone Three and Me

Jan at Jan's Sushi Bar 

Janice at I Got Nothing

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Commencement Speech

Nain at View From Down Here suggested this, and I love the idea!

It's June. It's graduation time of year. What would you say if you were asked to give a Commencement Speech? Do you have a thing or two you would like to say to the youth of America? Would you inspire? Would you empower? Would you hand out tough love? Would you say what you wish you'd heard back when you were sent out into the world?

Write it. Post it. Tell me. I'll link it.

Check back here next Friday for my spin on "Commencement Speech", and find out the spin topic for next week.

And let me know if you'd like to be added to the Spin Cycle Topic Reminder email!

 

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Carnegie Hall Here I Come

I'm on my way to New York to sing at Carnegie Hall!

If you missed this amazing turn of events, read HERE.

I'm so excited I can't stand it. Five days on my own in the Big Apple! Actually performing Mozart's Requiem in Carnegie Hall! Getting to see a bunch of my old college friends! Swinging by Long Island to visit Mommy and Pop! It's all so good. It's just what I need.

However, I've been a nervous wreck all week. Am I worried about singing Mozart's Requiem? No. Am I worried about performing in front of 2000 people in Carnegie Hall? No.  Am I worried about what the hell I'm going to wear? Whether or not I'm going to trip and fall on my face? Come in at the wrong time? On the wrong note? No, no, no and no.

I am worried about the care and maintenance of Jude while I'm gone.

Yes, I know that Jude's a big boy, and Jimmy's an even bigger boy. And I know that I should trust Jimmy to take care of doing what needs to be done for his son. But...I don't. I just don't trust that he will get the boy where/when he needs to be for a whole 5 days. 

So I have prepared. Ridiculously. I have made a detailed schedule and posted it to the cabinet in the kitchen...

I have written out exactly what he needs to pack for Jude's lunch every day. With bullet points...

 

All lunch food is arranged and labeled on the counter below the sign.

 

I have pre-packed bags with everything Jude will need for his various activities, and clearly labeled them...

I have arranged for a teenage neighbor to come over and "hang out" with Jude while Jimmy works on Thursday night (apparently, he is much too old for a "babysitter"), and have left money for him in an envelope on the mantel.

I have arranged for a sleepover on Friday night, and a ride to a party at the beach on Saturday. I have printed out detailed directions to all of these places, with numerous phone numbers for everyone involved.

I have filled the refrigerator with a massive amount of simple-to-prepare and/or frozen foods. I have affixed Post-it notes to various foods saying things like "Eat this" and "Microwave on High for 2 minutes".

I have arranged for him to stay after school on Wednesday and Thursday to ensure that he has time to complete the THREE school projects he has due over the next two weeks.

Okay, Gretchen, breathe in...breathe out. It's all fine. It will all be fine. How bad could it get? No, don't think about it. Just think about this...

 

Carnegie Hall - the view from the stage.

 

I'll try to check in with y'all during the week. Ooo, maybe I'll even Tweet. I could do that, I could Tweet.

Wish me luck!! And wish Jimmy luck too!

Please, Make It End

Jimmy is driving us CRAZY!

He has been watching every stinking minute of that stupid Jodi Arias trial. He's obsessed. He gets this way sometimes. He did the same thing with the Casey Anthony trial - he watched every day, recording what he had to miss and then watching it at night. It's insane.

And it's airing on this weird "news" station called HLN (for Headline News) which is sort of tabloid tv, it's like reading the New York Post. They are not only airing every minute of this disgusting trial, but then they're all rehashing and "analyzing" it. And their "newscasters" are totally showbizzy and sensational, "bubble-headed bleach blondes" as Don Henley sang. People like Nancy Grace, who I actually have to turn off every time she comes on I find her so offensive.

For those of you with more sense than my husband, and are unfamiliar with Jodi Arias, she is on trial in Arizona,  accused with killing her boyfriend, Travis Alexander, back in June 2008 with 27 stab wounds, a slit throat and a bullet to the head. She initially denied killing Alexander, but claimed two years later that she killed him in self defense.

The trial has been trashy as trashy can be, with Arias' and Alexander's sex life discussed in intimate and graphic detail. And there's much talking amongst the well-coiffed talking heads about whether or not Jodi is a sex maniac. Or maybe a sociopath or at the least a borderline personality. But the defense says that she was a victim of abuse, and was driven to kill her boyfriend to end her torture. By stabbing him 27 times, slitting his throat and shooting him in the head.

 

Jodi, looking very prim and proper at her trial

I just don't understand why Jimmy finds this all so fascinating. He claims it's a great "character-study", an acting thing. Which I'd grant him, but he also chides me for not watching it with him, because since I come from a family of lawyers, I should be paying attention to such an "important case". Sorry Jimmy, Brown vs. the Board of Education = important legal case. Jodi Arias = not so much.

Maybe it's because I'm from a family of lawyers that I find the whole thing so distasteful. It's the worst of the legal system. All sensationalism.

Luckily, the trial is almost over. According to the HLN website, Jimmy is in for a "fateful week ahead: Arias trial nears dramatic end." "Jodi Arias is days away from learning her fate, and HLN will bring you every second of the dramatic conclusion of her trial."

I guess when it's finally done, Jimmy will have to find some other important legal cases to watch. Maybe Judge Judy.

Spin Cycle: I Am the Tree

When Jude was born, he looked just like Jimmy. According to this New York Times article, scientific studies have shown that infants usually look like their dads. The theory is that nature helps out Mom a bit by letting Dad know for sure that the kid is his. When Jude popped out looking like he belonged in Jimmy's family, I was fine with this idea. I did, after all, love Jimmy, and liked the way he looked.

But then, when the boy was about a year and a half old, he  started changing. He started looking...like me.  A lot like me. And thus, a lot like Mama and Daddy. He has the blond hair, which I had when I was little, as did Mama...

 

Little blond Jude

Little blond me

 

 

Little blond Mama

 

Sometimes, I'll look at my hands and see Mama's hands. Right there on the end of my arms. And Jude's hands? Just the same. It's eerie.

I first realized that Jude had started looking like me when Aunt Grace made a comment that Jude could "do that thing you do with your legs." And it was true. I hadn't noticed, but he can do this...

 

 

Weird thing Jude can do.

Weird thing I can do.

I guess our knees are double-jointed or something, but we both think this is totally comfortable. And it blew me away when I realized he could do it. I've never known anyone in my life who could do it. I can't tell you how it made me feel. There was someone LIKE me.

Because...I have no family. Well, not much, anyway. No brothers or sisters. No parents. And I adored my parents so much, that the thought of their gene pool fading away into oblivion just made me so overwhelmingly sad.

However...

Now I'm starting to worry that he is too much like me. Not physically, the physical similarities are fine. It's the behavioral similarities. Sometimes, the kid will say something, a Gretchenism if you will, and I'll just gasp. He sounds just like a middle-aged Southern woman. I fear that this is not a good thing.

I'll never forget one particular time, several years ago, when a bunch of moms and kids were at our house for an afternoon playdate. The kids were playing in our little above-ground pool, and the moms were all drinking margaritas (please don't judge), when suddenly, Jude fell backwards into the pool and got his foot stuck in the metal pool frame. Instead of shouting "Help!" like most little children would, the boy shrieked at the top of his lungs, "Oh Lordy! Oh Lordy!" He sounded just like me. And...Mama.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Carol gave Jude a ride to swim practice, and afterwards she said "Jude's so funny. He's fun to listen to when he talks. He sounds so...well, like you." Oh no. When asked to define this, she said that he used big words and sounded sort of formal and old-fashioned for a little kid. Then, the other day, the 7th grade teacher at school told me that she'd finally connected that Jude was my son. She said she could tell because he spoke just like me. When I asked exactly what this meant, she said that we used the same syntax. Sigh. I'm afraid that the chicks won't dig this.

Now all this isn't to say that Jude is in no way like Jimmy. He is. He has his dark brown, Italian eyes, his eyebrows, his feet. Certain mannerisms. They both love The Beatles.

But very often, Jude and I will find ourselves sharing a moment, a joke or a common interest, and when Jimmy walks in the room, we stop and look at each other, and realize that Jimmy just doesn't understand. The other day, Jimmy came in and asked what we were watching on tv, and Jude started to try to explain Doctor Who to him, but after about 30 seconds, just said "It's a show that Mom and I like."

And I feel a little sorry for Jimmy. The same way I felt sorry for Mama when Daddy and I shared a joke. Because Mama never understood our sense of humor. Daddy and I had inside joke after inside joke, and she never got any of it.

I must admit that I don't feel that sorry. Jimmy has his mom and dad and brother and countless cousins who are all just like him. But for me? I just have that one little boy.

So I'm happy to be the tree. I hope he's not too embarrassed to be my apple. And I know that soon, the little apple will roll farther away, and become his own tree. And maybe his little apples will have the same blond hair and the same hands and do the same weird thing with their legs.

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You absolutely must go and read our other Apple/Tree spinners!

Jan at Jan's Sushi Bar

Lynn at Curly Girl's Music World 

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me

Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY!

Nain at View From Down Here - NEW on FRIDAY!

Janice at I Got Nothing - NEW on FRIDAY!

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Bucket List

What things do you desperately want to do before you leave this earth?

Learn French? Buy a motorcycle? Visit the pyramids? Climb Kilimanjaro? Make a successful souffle?

Write it. Post it. Let me know. I'll link it.

Check back next Friday for my spin on Bucket List, and get the next week's Spin topic!

 

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Night

Shhhhh.

At this very moment, I am lying in bed. In the dark.

Jimmy is safely asleep next to me. He has the tv on, and is ostensibly watching an old episode of The Twilight Zone. But really he is asleep. I know this because he is snoring.

Jude is safely asleep in his bed in his room. He read himself to the point of exhaustion, then accepted a kiss and let me tuck him in, rolled over and was immediately asleep.

Fancy, our little dog, is safely asleep on Jimmy's feet. She was asleep on my feet, but it drives me crazy, so I carefully rolled her across the bed onto Jimmy. This didn't wake up either of them.

The bedroom is lit by the soft light of the television and of the laptop, which is resting on a little tray on my lap. The rest of the house is dark.

A fan is blowing on me, serving the dual purpose of cooling me off and providing soothing white noise, which blocks out Jimmy's snoring. The curtains to my right flutter softly in the breeze of the fan.

I have just taken a nice hot bath, put on my nightgown and slathered my body with all of my various creams.

The sheets are clean.

This is my favorite time of day.

Everyone is fed and bathed and safe, right where they should be. It's peaceful and quiet and nobody is asking me for anything or needs me to do anything. It's the time when I can be completely alone, and yet completely surrounded by my loved ones at the same time. It's the time when I can be completely serving of my family, nurturing and protecting, and at the same time, completely selfish.

This is when I watch my Netflix shows. And play my computer games. And nibble on naughty snacks. And sometimes even have a nice glass of wine or a cocktail. All by myself. It's very indulgent.

Happy, happy.

Shhhhh.

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This post was inspired by...

Prompt #2 -  Write a blog post inspired by the word: Night.

Spin Cycle: Why?

Why are all the tv shows that I like so filled with profanity and inappropriate material that I can't watch them around Jude? It's a real pain in the butt.

Why do I never bring a sweater when I need it...but always bring a sweater when I don't?

Why is everybody suddenly misusing the word "epic"? "That's an epic video game!!!!" Oh really? Is it noting or pertaining to The Iliad? Is it heroic or majestic? Is it of unusually great size? This silliness is bad enough when Jude and his friends us it, but the other day a friend of mine, a middle-aged man who generally knows a thing or two said something like "That movie was epic!!" and it just stunned me. Someone needs to put an end to this.

Why is taking the Lord's name in vain so incredibly satisfying?

Why does Jimmy, after we've lived in our home for 8 years, still not know where things belong in our kitchen?

Why is it that I always think of incredibly important, fascinating and random things that I must look up on my iPhone...during church? I mean really, must I pull out the phone and Google the Benihana menu or the lyrics to that song "Feeling Good" right in the middle of the priests homily?

Why has that stupid "prove you're not a robot" thing when you're leaving comments on people's blogs become so difficult? The blurry numbers? Who can read that? And we still get the spam!

Why does morning come so quickly?

Why is the lane I'm in on the freeway AND the lane I'm in at the grocery store always the slowest? And then, why don't I change lanes to the faster one? I should. But I don't. I just sit there in the slow lane getting mad. Why do I do that?

Why does Jude's room devolve from tidy to disastrous so quickly? We're talking seconds. I mean, the entire room can be perfect and the kid walks in the room, then out of the room...and it's trashed. I don't know how he does it.

Why do all those kids on American Idol sound the same to me?

Why are there four judges on American Idol this year? They know that four is too many. Keith Urban seems like a truly nice and decent man, but...not the sharpest tool in the shed. On the other hand Nicki Minaj seems like a truly nasty and unpleasant woman, but...she has some smart stuff to say. Randy is Randy. And then...I just fast forward through Mariah Carey.

Why do I still watch American Idol anyway?

Why am I so excited about the new Target? They are building  a new Target about a half a mile from me, and I am so excited I'm about to bust. I keep driving by to see how the construction has progressed. Can't wait!

Why would anyone think it's an okay thing to floss their teeth in public?

Why do I have my best writing ideas when I'm in the shower? I am often forced to take notes in the steam on the shower door.

Why does our little dog, Fancy, always want to sleep on top of me? I think that on top of Jimmy or Jude would be an excellent place for a dog to sleep. But no.

Why did God give women menopause? I find that most things about our bodies and nature have a certain logic to them; there is method to the madness. But these menopausal symptoms just don't follow any logic to me. I mean, I understand why, after a certain age, women should stop being able to have children. But why the hot flashes? Why the mood swings? To what end? Does God intend to simply torture us? You'd think we would be rewarded for all that bleeding and propagating the species, don't you think? All I can figure is that it's nature's way of making us so nasty and unattractive that no one would possibly want to have sex with us anymore.

Why haven't you joined in the Spin Cycle this week? Go write something quick! Join the fun!

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Why don't you be nice and drop by our other "Why" spinners?

Nain at View From Down Here

Jan at Jan's Sushi Bar

Janice at I Got Nothing

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me

Kendra at Life in the slow lane

Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY!

Arnebya at What Now and Why - NEW on FRIDAY!

Mimi at Magical Mystical Mimi - NEW on SUNDAY!

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Advice

You know you want to give some. You're just dying to give that unsolicited advice you've had bubbling up in the back of your throat forever. But those foolish friends who desperately need your advice never ask!

Or maybe, you NEED some advice. A difficult and confusing decision to make? Open it up to the internets for help!

Or maybe you could share with us the best advice you ever got. Or the WORST.

Write your spin. Post it. Let me know. I'll link it.

Come back next Friday for my spin on "Advice" + the spin topic for the next week.

And let me know if you want me to add you to the Spin Cycle topic reminder email! It's easy and free!

 

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Spin Cycle: Love

I have a confession to make.

Throughout my life,  I have heard the following bible passage over and over and thought it was a load of bull...

1 Corinthians, 13:4-13...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.  For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yada, yada, yada," I've said to myself, rolling my eyes, at wedding after wedding.

Love fails constantly. In fact, according to marriage statistics, it fails the majority of the time. I see relationship after relationship that devolves over time into something without patience or kindness, and filled with envy and pride. And what the hell did St. Paul know about such things anyway, wandering around barefooted proselytizing or writing from his prison cell?

But a couple of Sundays ago, 1 Corinthians: 13 was the reading at church, and for the first time, I really heard it, and understood it.

I think this is because I have finally reached an age when I have "put the ways of childhood behind me". And have come to a point in my life when I realize that the love which Paul was talking about was not a noun, but a verb. The act of loving. The deliberate choice to actively love someone. The choice to be loving, and to perform loving actions, even when your husband is a jackass. Or your child is a pain in the butt.

And it's a really hard thing to do. To love. It's something that I have been unable to do for long periods throughout my life. I may have been "in love". Often "in lust". But to love as an action verb? That's tough. It involves giving up a big chunk of ego. It involves looking at the greater good. It involves finding the good in small things, and not expecting the grand gesture.

Love is being patient, love is being kind. It is not being envious, it is not boasting, it is not being proud. It is not dishonoring others, it is not being self-seeking, it is not getting angry, it is keeping no record of wrongs. Love is not delighting in evil but rejoicing with the truth. It is protecting, always trusting, always hoping, always persevering.

I finally get it. In the past, if Jimmy was being a jerk, I would not be kind, but get angry, and self-righteous, prideful and envious. And the love would go away. But now, having made the choice to actively love,  if he's a jerk, I tell him he's being nasty, then kiss him on the forehead and tell him I love him even if he's an asshole. And you know what? He stops being a jerk, and apologizes. And then he is actively loving to me. Our active loving of each other resonates and evolves. We find we are protecting, trusting, hoping and...persevering.

Taped on a cabinet in the kitchen, I have a quote from the Dalai Lama, which a friend of mine shared a while back on Facebook. It is as follows...

Even more important than the warmth and affection we receive, is the warmth and affection we give. It is by giving warmth and affection, by having a genuine sense of concern for others, in other words through compassion, that we gain the conditions for genuine happiness. More important than being loved, therefore, is to love.

So there you have it. St. Paul. The Dalai Lama. Two pretty smart dudes, saying basically the same thing. I'm glad I've lived long enough to come to understand a thing or two. Man, by the time I'm 80, I'll be fricking enlightened.

But just so y'all don't think that I've lost all of my cynicism, I will close with this less idealistic, but equally true quote...

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra, and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening

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Love, love love...

Go check out the other love Spinners!!!

CaJoh at Ca-Joh

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me

Kendra at Life in the slow lane - SEVEN POSTS on LOVE!

Nain at View From Down Here - NEW on FRIDAY!

Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY!

Janice at I Got Nothing - NEW on FRIDAY!

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Dream Vacation

I don't know about y'all, but I REALLY need a vacation. A real vacation. Not visiting Jimmy's parents, or going on a Cub Scout campout. It should involve a pool, and some fruity alcoholic beverages. And maid service. And a spa. And since this is most likely NOT going to happen anytime soon, I think it might be a good idea to take a little dream vacation.

So please, share your dream vacation. Where do you want to go? Who do you want to go with? The whole family? Just you and your significant other? Or perhaps, blissfully alone?

Do you crave beaches? Mountaintops? City lights? A silent retreat in a faraway cloister?

Write it up. Post it. Let me know, I'll link it!

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Holiday Recap Pt. 2: New Year's Fun House

One of the things that my mother did best as the parent of an only child was to make our house the "fun house", the place where my friends wanted to come and play, the house where all the big fun happened.

This wasn't really easy. We had a small-but-cozy home. No pool/tennis court/game room/rec room - no bells and whistles.

The fun mostly came from over-indulgence - Mama would invite ALL the girls, and serve ALL the good junk food. We could be loud and stay up late and be silly and Mama and Daddy would hide back in their bedroom and endure all the nonsense.

I have tried to keep this in mind as the parent of Jude, the only child. It's not really easy. We have a small-but-cozy home. No pool/tennis court/game room/rec room - no bells and whistles.

And I fear that I don't usually pull it off. Too many children in my house makes me nervous. And I'm always afraid that the boys will be bored.

But on New Year's Eve, Jimmy and I decided to go for it, and invited 5 of Jude's best school friends over for a little boy's New Year's Party. Yes, 6 boys. 2 parents. 1 little dog. Jude was very excited.

Suddenly, the spirit of my mother took over my body. The whole evening was oh, so Mama. Instead of a regular dinner, I served appetizers on a silver tray - mini pizzas, pigs in a blanket, taquitos. Very fancy. For dessert, they had ice cream sundaes. They ran around and screamed and played video games and shot things and wreaked havoc until 9:00, when we did the "it's New Year's in New York" thing, had a countdown, and then the boys got "champagne" in fancy flutes and exploded a buttload of those popper things all over our house. It was chaos!

 

Maybe my favorite picture ever.

 

Here is silly Jimmy serving the champagne, speaking in a vague European/Indian accent. Don't ask me. All the boys played their part well except Jude, who...well, he is Jimmy's son. See for yourself...

 

During most of this insanity, Jimmy and I took a cue from Mama and Daddy, and hid in the bedroom. We managed to make it festive for ourselves. A bottle of real champagne. And I made a picnic of Moules Frites in the middle of our bed. A big sloppy bowl of mussels and fries wasn't really the easiest picnic food, but it was damned good.

I managed to get the boys snuggled into their sleeping bags and the lights out by midnight, which I consider to be something of an achievement.

I think Mama would have been proud. And I think the boys had fun. Will be do it again next year?...

Probably. Sigh. At some point, when Jimmy and I were hiding in our bedroom eating mussels and watching Abbott and Costello Meets Frankenstein while little boys tore our house apart and screamed at airplane decibels, Jimmy turned to me and said "I think this is our best New Year's Eve ever." And he meant it. And he was right.

Spin Cycle: Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for...

1. Jimmy, my weird husband. I love him despite his weirdness. And quite possibly because of his weirdness. Yes, he is high-maintenance. Yes, he has his issues. But he has a tremendous heart, and great integrity, and I believe the fact that he is universally beloved by old people, babies, special-needs children and dogs, is testament to the true nature of his spirit.
2. My boy, Jude. Every day, I thank God for the gift that is Jude, for entrusting him to me in this lifetime. I truly understand how blessed I am to have been able to finally have a child at the advanced age of 42, many women cannot. He is my light and my joy. Even when he's a pain in the butt.
3. Having had my Mama and Daddy. I miss them tremendously. They died too soon. But I would much rather have had a short time with these two loving, intelligent, fine people, than a lifetime with lesser parents.
4. Jimmy's family. Mommy, Pop, Aunt Grace, Tony, Niki, aaaaaaaaall of the extended Italian family. I came to them as a very tall, non-Italian, Texan, orphan, and they whole-heartedly took me in and embraced me as family. I am blessed to have them for me, and doubly blessed to have them for Jude. A boy needs grandparents (I never had any) and he couldn't ask for better.
5. My family and friends in Texas. Though I don't get to see much of them lately, just knowing that they are there, that I still have a link to my past and my childhood, that there are people who remember the child I was, gives me comfort. Plus, they're a lot of fun.
6. Friends. I'm blessed with a number of amazing, quality people around me who I believe truly have my back. I like to think that I have theirs as well.
7. Jude's tiny Catholic school. I have found a tremendously close-knit, loving, supportive, like-minded community, who believe in nurturing a child's body, mind and spirit. I may not adore every aspect of the place, or every teacher (or every parent - oops, did I say that?), but I wouldn't want him to be anyplace else. Plus, they're a lot of fun too - we Catholics love to party!
8. My church and church choir. What are the odds that I could find a church that is so liberal, with a choir that is so traditional? Always a joy.
9. Our sweet little house. It's not fancy. It's not big. But it is ours. And it's home.
10. Fancy, our dog. The sweetest little dog on the planet.
11. Health. My health, Jimmy's health, Jude's health, the in-law's health. Don't ever want to take that for granted.
12. Work when I can get it. I'd like to get more of it. But I'm grateful for what I get.
13. My writer's group. We've only been together for a few months, but this small group of women have been instrumental in getting me focused on some real writing. It's become a safe place, much "this can't leave this room" sharing is done. I look forward to it every month.
14. My old friends from college, who I've reconnected with. The best people on earth, and truly, the funniest human beings I've ever known. I adore them all.
15. Jude's Fourth Grade teacher, Miss Johnson. (Cue the music) Haaaaalelujah! I am LOVING this young woman. She's new this year, and she's also the most creative and most engaging teacher he's had so far. She seems to love teaching, and love all the children. And Jude is doing so well with her! Very happy.
16. Jude has finally found his sports. After years of watching him struggle with baseball and soccer, he has found his calling. Or callings I should say. That boy can run and swim. He loves it and he's good at it. And a special thank you to Roger, one of the fathers at our school, who has stepped up and stepped in to revamp the athletic department, and created the school's track and cross country teams. Changed my boy's life.
17. All of you faithful readers. Who read my ramblings and put up with the fact that I am a terrible reader of other people's blogs. I truly apologize, and am grateful for all of you. Even you lurkers who never comment!
18. Southern California's beautiful weather. Thanksgiving Day? High - 73 degrees. Low - 54 degrees. Couldn't ask for better weather.
19. Grandma's china/silver/crystal/linens. The one and only benefit of being the soul survivor of your family - you inherit it all. I love, love, love setting a table with all of Grandma's beautiful and elegant belongings.
20. The love of cooking and entertaining. I really do love it - preparing a special meal and serving it for special guests. It's one of my favorite things to do. And I think of what Thanksgiving must be for folks who don't much enjoy the preparation, and it must be a real drag.
21. This year's table of Thanksgiving guests. Family, friends, friends who are like family. Beautiful people, every one. Love them all.
22. Leftovers. Enough said.
23. That nice hot bath at the end of the night with a big glass of Cran-Bourbon Orange cocktail. Aaaaaah!

I hope you all had a beautiful, love-filled Thanksgiving that was as excellent as mine.

___________________________________

Thankful spinners...

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me - THANKS #!

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me - THANKS #2!!

Nain at View From Down Here

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me - THANKS #3!!!

Kendra at Life in the slow lane - NEW on THURSDAY!

Stacy at Stacy Uncorked - NEW on FRIDAY!

I am thankful for all of you!

 ___________________________________

Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Holiday Cookie Exchange

It's the countdown to the holidays! And while it might prove tricky if we were to all try to actually send cookies to each other, I would love for us all to share our favorite holiday cookie recipes!!

Grandma Betty's Snickerdoodles? Cousin Mary Frances' Fudge? Aunt Hulga's Berlinerkransers? Share all your favorites! Your one very favorite recipe or a whole batch!

Spin it. Post it. I'll link it!

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The Thanksgiving Plan

Aunt Grace has arrived, and the Thanksgiving plans are all coming together. We're having a nice, doable crowd - 8 adults, 3 kids. All good friends, nobody high-pressure who I feel I have to take care of. You know what I mean? Sometimes we'll have somebody that doesn't really know anyone, and I feel responsible for keeping them entertained. And sometimes there will be somebody who doesn't eat a damned thing, so I have to cook special dishes for them (which makes me sort of insane). But this year should be nice and easy and everybody's a good eater.

Last year, I wrote what I think is my definitive Guide to Thanksgiving According to Me. I suggest you review it. Warning: I'm a bit opinionated about the whole thing. I'm switching things up a tiny bit this year, but not much. I'm not making the Sweet Potato Soup - sorry, just felt like trying something new. Anyway, here's this year's plan...

Cranberry Cocktails -

I found these recipes in Southern Living Magazine. My Cousin Keith gives me a subscription to SL every year for Christmas, and I adore it - makes me feel like I'm still a southern girl at heart. I can't decide which of these cranberry cocktails to make, so I think I may offer both. Cranberries, get it? It's Thanksgivingy. They both start with something called a...

Cranberry Reduction

2 cups cranberry juice

1/2 cup canned jellied cranberry sauce

1/4 cup sugar

4 dashes Angostura bitters

1 (3 inch) rosemary sprig.

Boil first 4 ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring often, 4 to 5 minutes or until smooth. Reduce heat to low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, 20 minutes or until liquid is reduced by half and slightly thickened. Add rosemary; cover and let stand 5 minutes. Discard rosemary. Cool, cover and chill. Can be stored in an airtight container in fridge up to 1 week.

Then, you use this fabulousness to make these...

Cran-Bourbon and Orange

Fill tall glass with ice. Add 3 parts bourbon, 1 part Cranberry Reduction and 1 part fresh orange juice. Top with a splash of club soda.

Holiday Cosmopolitan

Fill cocktail shaker with ice. Add 3 parts vodka, 1 part orange liqueur, 1 part Cranberry Reduction and 1/2 part lime juice. Shake and strain into martini glass.

Shrimp & Crudite with Green Goddess Dip -

I don't like to make anything too heavy for an appetizer, but at the same time, I want to give folks a little something to put in their stomachs while they're sucking down the aforementioned cocktails. And since Jimmy's a seafood fiend, I like to work in some kind of seafood for the appetizer. Here's the recipe courtesy of Epicurious.

Turkey -

I am a briner. I just started doing it about 4 years ago, but I've become a complete convert. YES, it's kind of a pain in the butt, but it makes for an amazingly moist and tasty bird! And truly, the trouble is part of the fun! It's such a silly and elaborate process - Mix together 2 1/2 gallons cold water, 2 cups kosher salt, 1 cup sugar, 2 bay leaves, 1 bunch of thyme, 1 whole head of garlic, cloves separated and peeled and 5 whole allspice berried (crushed). Stick the big bird in a giant hefty bag, pour all that brine on top of it, tie the bag closed (get as much air out as possible), then stick that puppy on a shelf in the fridge for 24 hours. It's a good idea to turn it occasionally too. I'm telling y'all, you should DO it.

Another note on the turkey: I always like to thank the bird. When I'm preparing him for the oven, I always find myself lovingly rubbing him with some lemon juice and giving him his little melted butter massage, and telling him thank you for giving up his life for our feast. It just seems like the right thing to do.

Gravy -

Buttloads of gravy. My Mama was a brilliant gravy maker, and so I take the stuff seriously. Daddy loved Mama's gravy so much that he wanted to bottle it and sell it. He wanted to call it "Good Gravy". Hehe.

Cornbread Dressing -

Cornbread/Sage Sausage/Dried Cranberries/Pecans/Onion/Celery/Sage dressing. No recipe. Just kind of winged. Or would it be wung? I winged it? I have wung it? Sigh...

Mashed Potatoes with Sage and White Cheddar Cheese -

I've made this recipe a couple of times before, and it's damned too. It's a good balance of traditional and funky. The recipe is HERE.

Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Red Onions -

I've been thinking about this since last year when Aimee posted the recipe on her blog HERE. I love roasted vegetables, and I'm always up for something to do with sweet potatoes that doesn't involve marshmallows. I might even get crazy and toss in some parsnips. Or not.

Balsamic Green Beans -

Yes, technically, this is a green vegetable, but considering it includes a mess of bacon and butter, I think I'm still following my Thanksgiving Rule #5: Nobody gives a damn about green vegetables. This will be a memorable green vegetable, if anybody can actually locate the vegetables underneath all the bacon, almonds and fried shallots. Yum.

Balsamic Green Beans

2 pounds fresh haricots verts (tiny green beans), trimmed

6 large shallots

olive oil

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

1 tablespoon light brown sugar

3 tablespoons butter

Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

1/2 cup lightly salted roasted almonds, coarsely chopped

1/2 cup cooked and crumbled bacon (about 5 slices)

Cook beans in boiling salted water to cover 3 to 4 minutes or until crisp-tender; drain. Plunge beans into ice water to stop the cooking process; drain. Cut shallots crosswise into thin slices; separate into rings. Pour oil to depth of 1 inch into a heavy saucepan; heat over medium-high heat to 350°. Fry shallots, in batches, 1 to 2 minutes or until crisp. Remove from skillet using a slotted spoon; drain on paper towels. Cook vinegar and sugar in a large skillet over medium-high heat, stirring often, 5 to 6 minutes or until reduced to 3 Tbsp. Stir in butter until blended. Add beans, and sauté 5 minutes or until thoroughly heated; season with salt and pepper to taste. Arrange on a serving platter. Top with shallots, almonds, and bacon. Serve immediately.

Though I must admit that I'm planning on cooking the beans the day before, then cooking the shallots at the last minute so they stay crispy. Cross your fingers.

Mama's Chocolate Cream Pie -

This is Jimmy's favorite dessert in the world, and it was also Daddy's favorite dessert in the world, so it has always been a Thanksgiving staple in my home. This recipe is actually from my great-grandmother, Mathilda Hansen Hanson. Yes, that was her real name. It's so far superior to your run-of-the-mill store-bought chocolate cream pie that it's an altogether different beast. Enjoy.

Mama's Chocolate Cream Pie

1/3 cup flour

1 cup sugar

1/4 tsp. salt

2 cups milk, scalded

2 (1 oz.) squares unsweetened chocolate

3 egg yolks, beaten

2 tbsp. butter

1/2 tsp. vanilla

Baked pie shell

1 cup whipping cream

2 tbsp. sugar

Mix flour, sugar and salt in top of a double boiler; gradually add scalded milk, mixing well. Add chocolate squares to the mixture. Cook in double boiler until chocolate is blended and mixture is thick, stirring constantly. Add a small amount of hot mixture to egg yolks; stir into remaining hot mixture. Cook 2 minutes. Cool; add butter and vanilla. Pour into baked pie shell. Cool. Whip whipping cream and additional sugar until stiff; top cooled pie. If you prefer meringue, beat 3 egg whites with 6 tbsp. sugar until stiff. Spread on pie and brown in 350 degree oven for 12 to 15 minutes.

Apple Cherry Pie -

Just because I feel like there ought to be at least two desserts. And I know pumpkin is the traditional thing, but I'm not a big pumpkin pie fan, and usually, we'll have a pumpkin pie and two people eat a tiny sliver of it and then the rest goes to waste. So...no pumpkin this year. This apple cherry is delicious, and leftovers make for a great breakfast treat with a cup of coffee.

Apple Cherry Pie

3/4 cup sugar

4 1/2 tbsp. cornstarch

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/8 tsp. ground cloves

1/8 tsp. ground cardamom

3 lbs. Granny Smith or Pippin apples (about 7), peeled, cored and sliced

3/4 cup dried cherries

1/2 cup cherry preserves

2 pie crusts

1 egg, beaten for glaze

Position rack in lowest third of oven and preheat to 400 degrees. Stir first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Mix in apples, dried cherries and preserves. Arrange one pie crust in the bottom of a 9-inch glass pie pan. Brush inside the top edge of crust with beaten egg. Spoon filling into crust. Cut a small hole in the center of top crust. Arrange crust over the filling. Seal top crust to bottom crust at edge. Fold under and crimp edge. Brush crush (except edge) with beaten egg. Place pie on a baking sheet. Bake until apples are tender, about 1 hour and 15 minutes. Cover with foil if browning too quickly.

Pillsbury Crescent Rolls -

Yes that is right. Do not judge me. They are Jude's favorite thing in the world. The child will wolf down a half dozen. What can I say? Mama made them too, and it just isn't the holidays without them.

Alright, there you have it. As you see, I have a bit of work to do, so I don't think I'll be checking in here until Friday for my Spin Cycle post.

Hope you all have a beautiful Thanksgiving, filled with lots of food, family and...well...thanks.