Second Blooming

Spin Cycle: The Blumbergs

For many years, Jimmy and I studied acting with a brilliant woman named Susan Peretz. Susan was an amazing actress and teacher, and became a mentor to both of us. We actually met in a class with Susan, and we spent many, many years in her classes and in productions at her theater. Her theater really was a home for us both, and the friends we made there will be with us forever.

During my time studying with Susan, I worked on countless scenes. That's the way acting classes work - you find a partner in class, choose a scene from a play or film and work on it during class. The teacher watches your work and critiques you and helps you discover what you need to work on for your work to grow. Scene work is done on a bare stage, using minimal furniture and props. You could bring props from home, but Susan always kept a prop closet, full of a variety of junk, accumulated from random sources over the years.

As time went by, I developed a silly inside joke, known only to me. In this aforementioned prop closet, were two paintings...

Both paintings were signed in the lower left-hand corner...

...Miriam Blumberg. I had no idea who the hell Miriam Blumberg was, but I soon started thinking of them as "The Blumbergs", and insisted on having one in every scene I ever worked on. A Blumberg hung in Maggie and Brick's bedroom, George and Martha's living room, Sister Aloysius' office - you get the idea. Having a Blumberg on the wall made me feel grounded and gave me a wonderful "sense of place", as we method actors call it.

In 2004, Susan died of breast cancer. It rocked our little group of actors, and sadly, ended our time together at the theater. She was the heart and soul of the place, and we just couldn't go on without her.

When it came time to close the theater, her roommate, who was clearing the place out, called me and asked me if there was anything from the theater that I'd like to keep as a remembrance. Immediately, I asked for The Blumbergs. He, of course, had no idea what I was talking about, but when I explained my attachment to these two paintings, he gladly gave them to me. They have hung on the wall of our house ever since.

A couple of months after I received The Blumbergs, we threw a big blowout Christmas party. About halfway through the party, I was approached by my friend Craig, and his siblings, Bruce and Lynn. I've talked about their big, crazy Hollywood family before - HERE I tell about their traditional family dinners at Lawry's Prime Rib, and HERE is my salute to their late dad, who was best known as the voice of The Robot on Lost in Space.

"Gretchen?" said a puzzled-looking Craig "You know we love you, but we're a little confused. Why on earth do you have two of our Grandma Miriam's paintings on your wall?"

HA!

Turns out, old Grandma Miriam (Blumberg was their mom's maiden name - who knew?) had at some point in the '70's decided to take up "art". She had taken a class, and ended up a rather prolific "artist". She had developed a passion as only an aging, wealthy, Jewish housewife in the suburbs could. When Grandma Miriam died, she left behind HUNDREDS of these very mediocre paintings. No one knew what to do with them! Their mom refused to just throw them away, they were painted by her mother, after all, so she started giving them away to whoever would take them.

After a bit of detective work, we figured out that Craig's sister, Lynn, had donated a few of the paintings to the prop room at The Actor's Studio, and they must have eventually made their way to Susan's theater!

For years now, Craig has been trying to get me to take yet MORE Blumbergs, it seems they still have a storage facility in North Hollywood full of them. But, alas, I have begged off. I've tried to explain that my attachment is to my history with the paintings more than the actual quality of the paintings, but he doesn't seem to understand.

I do, however, love my Blumbergs. They're bright and have a certain lovable folkartsy quality. I've been saying for years that I was going to start a collection of "old woman art". Aunt Grace has a sort of dreary painting done by her late bosses wife, Eugenia Ramsey. I've mentioned how much I long for it, but I think she thinks I'm joking. But I think a Ramsey would look lovely hung between my Blumbergs.

Anybody have any Grandma art in the back of a closet that they want to find a home for?

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Lots of fabulous "Pictures" spins this week!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE visit all of them!

SuziCate at The Water Witch's Daughter

Peg at Square Peg in a Round Hole

Claire at Incognitus Scriptor

Michele at It's a Dog's Life

Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie

Kendra at Life in the slow lane

Nain at View From Down Here - NEW on FRIDAY!

VandyJ at The Testosterone Three and Me - New On FRIDAY!!

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Things I Hate

I've been in a rotten and contrary mood all week. Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy. So...inspired by THIS post by my friend, Elizabeth, we're going nasty this week.

That's right, here's your chance to VENT. What makes you mad? What drives you crazy? Your kids? Your boss? Your spouse? That idiot in the Express Lane at the grocery store with 21 items?

Just let it spew. Consider it free therapy.

Vent it, share it, link it. Questions? CLICK ON THE TAB UP THERE! STOP BOTHERING ME, I'M GRUMPY!

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RTT: Geek, Johnny Depp and Geek

RANDOM TUESDAY THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm sorry, was I shouting?)

Gretchen = Geek Example #1 -

I'm dying to go here - Dickens World. It's a Charles Dickens theme park in Chatham, UK!

You can walk through the dank corridors of Marshalsea Prison or take the Great Expectations Boat Ride. It's like an English Major Dream Vacation!

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Is anybody else sick and tired of the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaboration? I mean, I have absolutely ZERO interest in this new Dark Shadows movie.

He keeps playing the same silly, freaky character over...

and over...

and over...

and over...

Enough already!

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The other day, Jude and I were driving in the car, discussing his upcoming birthday. He's decided that he doesn't want to have a big theme birthday this year. Which makes me both sad (he's growing up) and happy (WHEW!). Anyway, we haven't really planned it yet, but I think he's going to have just a few pals over for a sleepover and that's it. I asked him if they wanted to do anything special, maybe play a game or watch a movie, and he said no. Then about a beat later he said "When I'm in high school, and have parties, we'll play a game called Spin the Bottle."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Gretchen = Geek Example #2

Drama Major humor...

I am a reeky, clay-brained, canker-blosson! What are you?

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This is NOT written by my child, but stolen off the internet. Enjoy...

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Gretchen = Geek Example #3 -

I desperately wish for this sign every time certain children are dropped off at a Cub Scout meeting and left for others mind...

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And on a quick serious note: 

Two noteworthy events this week which gave me pause -

1. The 20th anniversary of the LA Riots. I will never forget them. A few sad, angry, frightening, tragic days, when the straw broke the camels back, and people went temporarily insane.

2. The One World Trade Center, which is the tower they are building to replace the World Trade Center has officially reached the height that surpasses the Empire State Bldg. and makes it the tallest building in NYC.

May it forever stand proud. And may Jude never force me to go to the top of it (I know he will!)

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Go forth and visit Stacy!

Spin Cycle: Spring Broken

It has been a lazy and yet adventure-filled Easter Break here at the Second Blooming house. Nice.

After the insanity that was Easter weekend, I basically crashed for two days, leaving the kid to his own devices. Jude's devices involved a tremendous amount of television and Wii playing. The kid has now watched about 20 hours of The Regular Show, MAD and the Amazing World of Gumball. Pretty much all rules flew out the window. I'm afraid that nutrition flew out with it, and the only things the child has eaten all week have been pizza and cheeseburgers. Really. And I have eaten the same things + wine. Because I'm just that kind of mother.

My devices included lying in the bed and watching everything I'd saved up on the DVR while playing hours and hours of the previously given-up-for-lent Castleville on Facebook.  Thank God my tiny village survived without me for 40 days. Whew. I also took several long, hot baths and read my book and knit. It was beautiful.

We did manage to venture out for some fun. And I used up all of the Groupons/coupons that I'd been saving up just for this very purpose. Oh yeah.

Monday - Hmmm. Must have done something...Nope. I don't think so. No wait, in the afternoon, Jude and I ventured down to USC to try out their track - a fabulous find (thank you Rachel) - excellent track, open to the public, street parking. Jude ran a bunch, while I sat and timed him and checked out the USC football players throwing passes around on the track.

Tuesday - Groupon for burgers and fries at Rounds Burgers. You LAers should mos def (I'm sorry, I've been watching a tremendous amount of The Wire, and have suddenly started talking like a Baltimore drug dealer from the projects) check out the place. Jude and I both decided they were the BEST BURGERS WE'VE EVER HAD. And that's saying something. The burger was to make up for the fact that our next stop was the dentist. Yes, I somehow had accidentally made Jude a dental appointment for during Spring Break, something for which I would certainly have never forgiven my mother.

Good news - no cavities! Bad news - something about a "rotated lateral" and a "tongue thrust" which apparently means...(cue the ominous horror film music)...ORTHODONTIA. I may have to actually become a Baltimore drug dealer to pay for it.

Wednesday - Groupon for Hangar 18 Climbing Gym in Hawthorne, CA, a moderate trek, but totally worth it. Jude LOVED it...

The kid scares the pee out of me with his fearlessness. I am seriously thankful that we don't live anywhere near snow or mountains, because the kid would mos def (sorry, I will stop it now) become a snowboarder/rock climber/X-games thrill seeker.

Then, on the way home, he insisted that we stop at USC AGAIN for more running. This time, we discovered that the USC Track Team practices in the afternoons, but they still let you use the track if you stay out of their way. Jude decided to work on his long jumping, and soon attracted a couple of REALLY sweet young college men, who helped him out and gave him tips. At the end our little visit there, Jude decided he wanted to practice his 400 meters so he could try out the tips he learned in that Michael Johnson video. He took off with me timing him on my iPhone. By the time he was halfway around the track, a crowd of the USC track guys had gathered. "Look at that kid!" "He's got really good form!" When he finished, I called out his time "One point two six!" and this USC track coach came over and asked me "Did he just run the 400 in 1.26?!" Apparently this is "very, very good". Love it!

Thursday - I did it again. Six Flags Magic Mountain. I know, don't say it. But I got 2 free tickets when I bought a set of tires at Discount Tire Center, so I couldn't resist it.

All roller coasters, all the time. The Revolution, The Ninja, The Jet Stream, The Apocalypse, Colossus. Good stuff. Though I'm afraid that we have now reached my "thrill" threshold. We used to go on the "family thrills" rides, then the "moderate thrills". Now we're on to the "high thrills". The next step is the "so-freaking-scary-that-some-type-of-bodily-fluid-will-almost-certainly-be-released thrills", which he is just going to have to hold off on until he's old enough to just go with his friends. Because I do have SOME limits.

Friday - "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" - that was the sound of a heavenly choir. Jimmy is taking Jude for a Daddy/Dude Day, which includes lunch, baseball practice AND The Three Stooges movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My plan? I am on my way to use yet another Groupon, this one for a Manicure/Pedicure with a paraffin foot treatment! Oh yeah!

Tomorrow, we're going with some friends to Santa Anita Park to watch the horse races, which sounds fun. If I win big, I'll let you know.

So that's about it. No trip to Cancun or quick ski vacation, but we did our best.

Spring is broken.

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You know the drill...visit the others!

SuziCate at The Water Witch's Daughter

Vandy J at The Testosterone Three and Me

Jen at Sprite's Keeper - NEW on FRIDAY!

Peg at Square Peg in a Round Hole - NEW on FRIDAY!

 

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Cocktails

Because, damn it, after this last week, that's pretty much all I can think about.

You are the mixologists! How do you like yours - shaken or stirred? With an olive or a twist?

I want recipes! Pick your poison and share.

And I think that a certain amount of experimentation is in order. Mos def. Sorry.

So...mix it up. Shake it up. Spin it up.

Let me know if you want me to ADD YOU TO THE SPIN CYCLE TOPIC EMAIL.

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Texas Girls

We had such an excellent weekend! My college roommate Lannyl and her darling 12-year old daughter, Georgia, stayed with us for three nights and we had a whirlwind of LA tourist fun!

Lannyl is the original housewife on NYC. She had a pretty big Broadway career back in the '90s (My Favorite Year, Moon Over Buffalo) but took time off when she started having kids. Sounds familiar, right? She now, being the good Texas/Louisiana girl that she is (we love our vehicles), drives her kids back and forth around the island of Manhattan in her hybrid SUV. Jude and I love getting together with them when we're in NYC - Jude kind of hero worships her kids, Michael and Georgia.

I love being with Lannyl. I don't often get to spend time with women who I share my past with. We're cut from the same cloth. Everything's simpatico. We work in tandem and get things done. And man, did we do some stuff!

Friday was a tornado of activity. We stalked the cast of Glee around the Paramount lot, met our UT buddies Wendell and Christi for a gossipy lunch, then took Christi along with us for a drive-by of all the sites we could fit in in one afternoon. From the Hollywood Sign all the way to Malibu then then back again. And then, as if we hadn't done enough that day, we saw another UT friend, Kim, in a play. Whew.

On Saturday, we made our way to Disneyland. It was a great day because it was a little cold and misty, which actually kept all of the crowds away.

Jude and I led the way, and we managed to hit pretty much ALL the highlights of the world  of Disney. Georgia was SO excited.

The whole day was perfect until we got into the girl fight.

What? I didn't mention that? Silly me.

Yes, in Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth, Lannyl and I somehow managed to almost get into a fist fight. Perhaps I should explain...

After making our way around the park, riding ourselves silly, we decided to take a break and catch the 4:00 parade. We found a good spot close to the front, and waited for all the dancing princesses and mice to get there.

Soon after the parade began, I was shoved from behind by a small woman who appeared to be in her 60s. She literally shoved me out of the way, and bulled her way in front of us. No "excuse me" or explanation. We'll call her Rude Woman #1. Lannyl and I were all "How rude!" and "Why I never!" As I said, Lannyl and I are cut from the same cloth, and that cloth could never be described as "street".

A couple of minutes later, another woman, a woman in her 20s or early 30s, we'll call her Rude Woman #2,  squished her way in and stood next to Rude Woman #1. We assumed that #2 was #1's daughter.

"Excuse me." I said "You have cut in front of us, and I can no longer see my child. Could you PLEASE move out of my way." Yes, my reaction to physical confrontation is to turn into the Queen Mum.

RW #1 and RW#2 looked at me as if I smelled particularly bad, and didn't move.

"JUDE!! I'm here honey! I'm back here! These two very, very rude women shoved in front of me and I can't see you. But I'm here!" I cried. "She can no longer see her child!" cried Lannyl.

Finally, after the other people around us asked them to move as well, they kind of hunkered down a little, so I could see my kid.

As soon as the parade was over, and the last dancing chimney sweep chim chiminied away, RW#1 turned around, put her arms up like a linebacker, and started to shove her way back between us.

Now as I said, Lannyl and I are cut from the same cloth, and that cloth is not "street". But we are still Texas women, and even though we may have turned into Queen Mums, we were not going to let these women shove us. I stood up to my full 5'10" and though Lannyl is not as tall as I am, she does have Broadway caliber presence. We both got big. And we both shoved back.

At this point, things are a bit of a blur. I'm pretty sure that Lannyl and I said things like "I think NOT!" and "Well excuse ME!" and "There is no need for THAT!" And the rude women started shoving and pushing us, and then people started shouting, and then there was more pushing and more shouting and then RW #1 started hitting Lannyl with her purse, and Lannyl screamed and threw her hands up to protect herself, which caused her iced tea to squirt up in the air and all over RW #1 and RW #2, who turned tail and ran away.

As they pulled away, I shouted in a rather dramatic way "Clearly, YOU" I thrust my finger toward RW #2 "Learned your manners from HER!" and I pointed to RW #1 with a flourish. Take that!

"Yo, beeotch! Don't you be dissing me and my crew! Don't you be shoving my ass! Sho nuff! I will stand my mutha f&#$in ground! That is mos def! Don't make me come ova there bitch!"

Okay, I didn't really say that part. But I think that my dramatic gesturing and "angry voice" made the point.

All around us, people ran to our defense. It was a bit surreal. Lannyl called for security. Witnesses told us that the RWs had hightailed it out of there.

The Disneyland security was very nice, even if they were a bit useless. I don't think they have many middle-aged women slapdowns. Lannyl actually had a SCRATCH on her neck. They offered to get her medical assistance, but it wasn't really needed. They did take a report. And then they gave us some "use anytime" Fast Passes for Star Tours. Which Lannyl then cleverly parlayed into two more "use anytime" Fast Passes for Space Mountain...

So in the end, a fun time was had by all.

I'm thinking that maybe when we go to NY in the summer we might go to Coney Island together. Let's hope that none of them Brooklyn beeotches mess with us!

Spin Cycle: No Such Luck

I have got to be the world's worst gambler.

The phrase "no guts, no glory" comes to mind, because I have absolutely no guts. I'm such a wienie. Not a risktaker. I never take a bet unless I know I'm gonna win. After 20 years, Jimmy still doesn't remember this. If I say "I bet you a dollar." DO NOT take the bet, because I won't be making it unless I know I am absolutely, positively right.

When I go to a casino, I always allow myself a tiny amount of money - $20 or $40 - and then just play the slots until I've lost it all. And I pretty much always do. Roulette scares me to death. Craps baffles me. I like blackjack, but I'm so terrible at math I spend all my time counting on my fingers under the table, and my fellow players get fed up. I spend most of my Vegas time drinking Mai Tais in the pool and enjoying all-you-can-eat buffets.

My friend Lynn fascinates me with her skills as a gambler. You'd never suspect it when you meet her, but that woman is a poker playing fool! She has made serious $$ in poker tournaments. She's suggested several times that we take a little trip to Vegas, and I should take her up on it. I'd be happy to babysit the kids in the pool and let her gamble, if she's willing to pay for the room with her winnings.

When I first moved to LA, I didn't know a soul except for my friend DeeDee. DeeDee is now known to many of you as Fiddledeedee, mommy blogger extraordinaire.

DeeDee and me in the day.

DeeDee invited me to join a group of friends who had a weekly poker game. It was such a fun group, I never missed a Wednesday, despite the fact that I seldom did better than break even. We just played quarter ante, but we were pretty serious about our poker. We were mostly expatriate Texans, with a few notable others mixed in. When I look back on us, we really were a pretty fantastic group of young people.

We started out playing at Lou Diamond Phillips' house in Laurel Canyon.

At the time, Lou had just made La Bamba, and when his career took off and he was traveling a lot, we started moving it around to other houses.

Brandon Lee was one of our most stalwart members.

Brandon hosted the game at his house in Echo Park pretty often, and was a damned good poker player. He always said he had "the lucky of a Chinaman". He was also a deeply kind man, and a good friend. His accidental death was a huge growing up experience for us all.

Brad Pitt played with us a few times, as did Joely Fisher, who hosted the game at her mom Connie Stevens' house once. And John Lee Hancock, who recently wrote and directed The Blind Side, played with us, and even wrote a play for us to all act in together. I played Brandon's girlfriend.

But despite all this poker playing, I never got any better. And I have to admit that my biggest problem with poker is an almost complete inability to bluff. I'm actually a good liar. Sad, but true. But bluffing just never occurs to me. And after years of playing with the same group of people, they finally realized that if I was betting heavily on a hand, and raising the pot every time it came around to me, you'd better not be bluffing against me, because I was bound to have a great hand.

Eventually, we drifted apart and stopped the weekly game. Careers took off, relationships broke up (Lou's wife leaving him for Melissa Etheridge was a nice scandal). And Brandon's death pretty much ended it completely. But I remember the time and the group of friends fondly. It was an important time of growth for me.

Nowadays, the only gambling I do is when my choir goes in together to buy  lottery tickets. Right now, the Mega Millions pot is at $200,000,000, and the drawing is today! Let's do the math. If we win the big pot, my cut would be...$10,000,000. Which I could live with. I'll let y'all know if I'm a new millionaire.

I just can't stop myself from continuing to toss in $5 every week. Because I know perfectly well that the one week I finally stop doing it...they'd win the Mega Millions.

Which would be just my luck.

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Don't push your luck! Drop in and visit all of this week's Lucky Spinners!

Aimee at AimeeWrites

SuziCate at The Water Witch's Daughter 

VandyJ at The Testosterone Three and Me

Kendra at Life in the Slow Lane

Peg at Square Peg in a Round Hole - NEW on FRIDAY!

Stacy at Stacy Uncorked - NEW on FRIDAY!

Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY!

Patty at Pancakes Gone Awry - NEW on FRIDAY!

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Next week on The Spin Cycle...

Car Trip

Most of the country is gearing up for Spring Break, and I'm sure many of you are heading out for a little vacay. So how about we all talk about that great American activity, the car trip.

My family were car trippers! Two weeks every summer plus mini-trips every long weekend. Jimmy's family - not so much. There are so many crazies in the family that they couldn't handle being enclosed in a small metal box with each other for too long. They considered the 40 minute drive from Long Island into Brooklyn a lengthy journey.

Hmmm...which story shall I share with you? The time I moved to Los Angeles, driving from Texas in my 1984 Toyota Tercel with all my earthly possessions and THREE cats? The time Jimmy and I drove a Ryder truck filled with Mama's stuff to LA from Austin and the truck's air conditioning went out in the middle of the 116 degree Mojave Desert? Or maybe something from my childhood?

You'll have to come back next Friday to find out.

In the meantime, write your spin on "Car Trip", add the link below, leave a comment here letting me know you've posted your spin, and I'll link you up.

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Four Day Weekend

Jude had a four day weekend - Friday they had one of those Teacher In Service days, and today, of course, is Presidents' Day. I overheard a conversation between Jimmy and Jude, wherein Jude informed his father that the quotation mark should come after the word "Presidents" since the day really belonged to all of the presidents, not just the current president. Clearly, the kid is absorbing something at that school.

And that's a lot of time off, time during which we could have been doing something fun. Half the people from Jude's school seemed to be heading off on a ski trip, or Mexico or something. But we're not doing anything. And by not anything, I really mean not ANYTHING. The whole weekend just slipped up on me, and I didn't even realize that it was a long weekend until about Wednesday. Not that we would be heading to Mexico anyway, because a) we're half broke and b) Jimmy teaches on both Friday and Saturday. But still.

And then lots of weird and stressful things happened.

First, on Thursday afternoon, while I was driving around like a madwoman to auditions and committments, I got a robocall from Jude's school, saying that due to police activity in the area, the school was under lockdown, and that nobody should come and pickup their kids until the LAPD had declared the area safe. I kid you not. I was nowhere near the school at the time, but when I called Jimmy, I found out that he had received the same robocall, and naturally, his response to the school telling him NOT to come and pickup his child because of police activity was to get into the car immediately and drive down to pickup his kid. Because really, there was POLICE ACTIVITY. Gotta love that in the man. Turns out, some nut had shot his wife and set the house on fire, which had nothing to do with the school, but the LAPD was just being overly cautious.

Then, I went to the most horrible and emotional funeral I've ever been to in my life. The son of one of my old friends from college had died of a heroin overdose. It's just so tragic, that it's really hard to write about. The service was at a mission down on skid row, a place where this young man had found help and solace, but clearly it still wasn't enough to help him get the better of his addiction. I really, truly can't remember ever witnessing grief and anger at such a level as my friend was suffering. I so wish I could help her, and give her strength, but really, what can I do? I am extremely thankful that our other friend, Wendell, and I could be there for our grieving friend, and I'm extremely thankful that Wendell was there for me, because this was a neighborhood that I would NOT want to have been walking around in by myself. It was everything that you would imagine Skid Row Los Angeles to be. And let me throw out an "Hallelujah" to the people who work at this mission, it's hard to  imagine the level of commitment and faith that they have, ministering to the MOST downtrodden people, people who truly have no hope. It was all very, very, very humbling. And I left feeling horribly shaken, and achingly grateful for my child and my family and my blessings.

I left Skid Row and drove to Beverly Hills to help another friend by modeling for her in a fashion show for the clothing line she reps. Irony? You think? I enjoyed playing dress up with my friends Melissa and Laura, but really, I think this would have been much more fun if I hadn't just sobbed for 2 hours.

Then on Thursday night, at about 2:00 am, I woke up and threw up! Over and over. All the rest of the night. I have no idea why. I don't think it was a virus, we've just had this thing sweep through our house, and it didn't feel the same. I think it might be the Trader Joe's egg salad that I ate just before going to bed, which I found out later was one day over the "eat by" date. Eww.

So, Thursday was great.

And then Friday was the day of cancer.

First the good news - after I woke up from my night of vomiting and propped myself up with some Gatorade and the computer, I found out that Amy, who I had asked you to pray for last Monday, came through her lumpectomy with FLYING COLORS. Here's the update which Becky wrote on Amy's blog (Confused? I think sisters get to do that kind of thing) which explains it far better than I could. But it's GOOD NEWS y'all.

Then I got an email about Jude's friend Gus, the boy with the impish grin in the picture on my sidebar. Though he's doing really well, and making CRAZY good improvement, this email was asking for doubled prayers to help Gus's numbers get high enough for him to go back to school. He's been having to take class via Facetime on the iPad which the class bought for him, and he's really eager to get back to school. I have no idea what these "numbers" are. I feel certain that they have been explained to me, but...I'm an actor, these things just whoosh over my head. But I upped up my praying thing there.

Then about a minute later, I popped by What Now and Why? Which is a new favorite blog that I only discovered a few weeks ago. PLEASE check her out. The woman who writes it, Arnebya, is funny and raw and wry and really refreshingly honest. Anyway, she had just written a post titled "Negativity Ate My Positivity Then Belched It In My Face For Dramatic Effect" (and that title effectively defines everything I love about Arnebya) in which she says that she has found a lump in her breast and had to go in for a bunch of tests, and she was really scared. So I had to start praying about that one too.

Then, about 5 minutes after THAT, I got an email telling me that one of my beloved Cub Scout dads has just been diagnosed with a form of blood cancer called Chronic Lymphocitic Leukemia! So I had to start praying about that too.

And I know that because of all this praying and all of my church choir singing, that y'all must think I'm a terribly religious person or something, but really, I'm not so much. I mean it's not like I'm some kind of holy roller goody-goody who  just walks around praying all the time. Not me...at all. So this is too much, really. Everybody needs to just GET WELL and STAY WELL.

On Saturday I managed to drag myself out of bed and do something about the semi-squalor into which our home had devolved while I was indisposed.

And on Sunday I managed to get it together enough to host my little writer's group meeting. So far, we haven't done any actual writing, but we're having  a lot of fun.

If you've been reading carefully, you'll notice that during Jude's long 4-day weekend. there has been no mention of...Jude. He has been a real trooper while Mama has been running around/vomiting and Daddy has been working. So I promised him that today I would take him to Universal Studios Hollywood. Which is the easiest amusement park around - really close to us, and easy to get in and out of.

I'm sorry that this has been such an incredibly long-winded way of saying that I didn't do a damned thing for four days.

So my weekend in summation - police action, skid row, vomiting, cancer, amusement park. So basically...hell.

How was your weekend?

Pinned

I have a love/hate thing going with Pinterest. I go through spurts of interest.

Pinterest interest.

I'll suddenly get enthusiastic and spend a couple (or six) hours clicking around and repinning. But then I'll forget about it and not go on for weeks.

The other day, I started worrying about our backyard again. Periodically, I'll do this. Worry about the yard. It's very ugly. Full of unrealized potential. But ugly.

Lots of dead grass. Lots of ugly concrete. Really, truly needs help.

But unfortunately, I have...

1. No money.
2. No skills.

Well, I have a little money. And a little skill. But these two things in combination make the whole thing seem overwhelmingly impossible.

So I decided that maybe if I started collecting pictures of what I'd like to have, maybe it would inspire me into action, and Pinterest seemed like a good place to collect these pictures. I've collected quite a few. Which are getting repinned like crazy. Apparently, redoing the backyard is a popular issue.

Right now, this is the side of our house...

Man, that's a whole lot of ugly. But maybe it could be...

Aaaah.

On the other side of the house is our unused hideous driveway. The previous owner, a Korean contractor named Chuck, was crazy for concrete. He poured it everywhere.

Lovely, right? Please ignore the junk and dog poop. The problem is that it's just so ugly and depressing, that I can't get myself motivated to clean it up. But I would if it looked like this...

That's a "Hollywood Driveway" by the way, and historically accurate for our old Craftsman bungalow.

Here's the backdoor and the part of the driveway where I stick the table...

Okay, what if we ripped down the falling down old stoop, cut down the ficus tree (I really hate cutting down our only big tree back there, but a foundation man told me a couple of years ago that it HAD to come down soon - ficus roots are the WORST for foundations), jackhammered up all of Chuck's concrete, put in flagstones and a pergola? Could end up like this...

Heaven, right?

And then there's our neighbor Natalie's garage. Sigh. A problem. Totally falling down and hideous. And yes, that is our "pool" that I never took down from the summer.

But maybe I could cover it with something. Or plant something to screen it.

I mean, that looks sort of doable.

And I'd like to turn this...

The traffic cone's a nice touch, right? Into this...

But seriously? I'd be happy if we just had real grass.

I keep thinking that I could start fixing things up a little at a time, take a side of the yard and work my way around. But the main big daunting thing that keeps getting in my way (other than the no money/no skill thing) is a lack of...irrigation.

I do not have a green thumb. I kill plants. Because I never remember to water them. It's tragic. We have tried. We really have. We own sprinklers. Several different kinds of them. We just never remember to...turn them on. We just don't have that "lawn person" gene that my Daddy had.

Therefore, I need a sprinkler system. You see, Los Angeles, is really just one big irrigated desert. I mean, it doesn't rain here, guys. Well, it rains. It rains for about a month solid. That's what we call rainy season. But for the rest of the year - nada. So everyone has sprinkler systems. Our front lawn has a sprinkler system, and it manages to stay nice and green and lushish, despite my sprinkling failings.

So I keep thinking that maybe I could install a sprinkler system by myself. How hard could it be? Dig some ditches. Lay some pipes. Attach some sprinkler heads. I could look it up on the internet.

And before you ask...Jimmy is useless. You might as well ask Woody Allen to come and install pipes in your yard. Jude would be more help. I'm on my own here.

My friend Carol once suggested that we could get a big group of women together and make a day of it, we'd rent a Ditch Witch from the Home Depot and put in my sprinkler system. I could make margaritas for everybody and we'd have a big sprinkler party. But I just can't find it in myself to actually ask people to come to my home and DIG DITCHES. It's just too pathetic.

What do y'all think? You think I could do it on my own?

I have two things I'm going to do this week to make at least a bit of progress in this backyard department.

First, the City of Los Angeles has this A Million Trees program, wherein I can sign up through the Department of Water and Power to get 10 FREE trees. I just have to promise to plant them in the ground someplace where they will eventually provide shade and thereby reduce energy consumption. I don't really need TEN trees, but I think my friend Eileen's going to take a couple. If anybody else wants one, let me know.

Second, I have discovered that HGTV is currently "casting" THREE backyard renovation shows! I've just got to submit the pictures and a charming and appealing plea for their help. I'm ON IT! Wish us luck!

In the meantime, I'm going to keep adding to my Dream Garden board on Pinterest. I could certainly go with some bougainvillea...

And everybody needs a firepit...

And of course I want...

And in a perfect world...

But alas, I'm probably just dreaming.

But a girl can always dream, can't she? I guess that's what Pinterest's best for.

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This post was inspired by...

Prompt #2 - Are you on Pinterest? Share the last five items you pinned, choose one and let it inspire a blog post.

RTT: Signature Accessories, Slugs and "Danger, Will Robinson"

Welcome to another...

 

I'm kind of dying to get this book, "Gay Men Don't Get Fat" by Simon Doonan...

I heard him on NPR the other day, and he was hysterical. He's the Creative Director at Barney's NY, and the epitome of fierce and fabulous. On the radio show, he suggested that all women should have a "signature accessory". You know, like Jackie O's oversized sunglasses, Bella Abzug's hats or Margaret Thatcher's twin pearls. I can't decide what my "signature accessory" should be. I do have a necklace that I wear pretty much all the time, but it's not very memorable or impactful. Since I'm tall, I'm thinking I could really rock a long scarf, like Isadora Duncan, or Bea Arthur on Maude. What do you think? Do you have a "signature accessory"?

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On Sunday, Jude walked up to me and said "Just so you know, Mom, 'foxy' is an adjective." I couldn't decide whether to be proud of his knowledge of grammar, or fearful of his knowledge of foxy.

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The other night, just before going to sleep, I walked into the kitchen and stepped on something slimy. I jumped back, slightly freaked out, and looked down. "What the hell is that?" I thought. I bravely reached down and picked the slimy thing up. It was a SLUG. A big, fat, slimy slug. ICK. I have no idea how this thing got in the middle of my kitchen floor, either Fancy brought it in with her when she went out to poo, or Jimmy tracked it in with him when he took out the garbage. Have you ever been slimed by a slug? It was CRAZY. Slug slime all over me, and it wouldn't come off. It was like glue. I scrubbed and scrubbed to get that slug slime off. Totally freaky.

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Last night, I made Chicken Piccata for dinner, and Jude ate it. Really. I'm still slightly giddy. I mean, he didn't eat any of the foreign parts, like lemon or capers or parsley, but he ate the chicken, which was an amazing landmark event around here. Here's the recipe. It's super quick and EASY...

Chicken Piccata

1/2 cup flour

1 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. freshly ground pepper

2 lbs. skinless, boneless chicken breasts

2 tbsp. butter

1 tbsp. olive oil

3 tbsp. dry white wine

3 tbsp. lemon juice

1 lemon, thinly sliced

3 tbsp. capers

3 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley

Combine flour, salt and pepper in a shallow dish. Dredge the chicken breasts in flour mixture; shake off excess. In a large frying pan, heat butter and oil over medium heat. Add chicken breasts. Cook about 3 minutes a side, until tender and opaque. Remove and keep warm. Add wine to pan juices. Cook 1 minute, scraping up the brown bits from the bottom of the pan. Add lemon juice and heat to boiling. Return chicken to pan, cover with lemon slices and capers and cook until sauce thickens slightly, about 3 minutes. Garnish with parsley.

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We went to the best funeral the other day. My dear, dear friend Craig's father passed away. I realize that "best funeral" seems to be an oxymoron, but I have to say, we've been to a few great Hollywood funerals. Bruno Kirby's comes to mind, but that's a whole other story. Anyway, Craig's dad, Dick Tufeld, has been a groundbreaking voiceover talent, best known as the voice of The Robot on Lost in Space, and the funeral was filled with many, MANY crazy Mr. Tufeld stories. He was also the voice of ABC television ("Today, on General Hospital...") and Disney ("Welcome to the Wonderful World of Disney").  Mr. T was always incredibly kind, charming and generous to me (I told the story here once of going to Lawry's for prime rib with their family), and he will be missed. So in honor of Mr. Tufeld, please check these out, a YouTube tribute...

 

 

 

 

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Okay, that's another Tuesday for you. Go see Stacy.

RTT: Twain, Madonna and Idris

TUESDAY!!

The other day I found the most amazing quote...

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." - Mark Twain

This perfectly defines my experience thus far as a mother. I almost feel like it should replace my Agatha Christie quote on my header. Or maybe I'll find some other perfect thing to do with it. Any ideas?

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I had all these ideas about Jude and my MLK Day activities. Last year, we dedicated it to a "Day of Service" and walked around our neighborhood with Jude's little red wagon, asking everybody for food donations. We then drove all the food over to the Social Services Dept. at my church, which feeds thousands of homeless people every week.

Our idea for this year was to walk around asking for donations of coats and blankets. But...it was kind of cold and rainy. Well okay, not exactly rainy, more...overcast. But it was daunting. So we ended up staying home and having an amazingly fun day hanging out, just the two of us (Jimmy had to teach all day).  We cooked and baked cookies and fulfilled a bunch of his Cub Scout achievements. And then we played The Adventures of Tintin together on the Wii - SO fun.

Then, when Jimmy got home, he was really exhausted, and we served him a plate of homemade cookies and milk and decided that was enough "service" for the day.

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Did y'all watch the Golden Globes? I know that I usually do an entire "RTT: Golden Globes Edition", but there just wasn't enough to talk about this year. Ricky Gervais was funny, but not too offensive. There were no huge gaffes or surprise winners. Here are my thoughts in a pictorial essay...

Somebody in Hollywood needs to hold a Botox/plastic surgery intersession! Witness...

...all beautiful women. All looking like freaks. It really must stop.

It's official. Everybody hates Madonna except for the Hollywood Foreign Press.

What a bitch. It's just true. In her acceptance speech for Best Original Song win, she managed to use the words "I", "me" or "my" 23 times. Couldn't PAY me to see what she kept referring to as "my movie" just for that reason. Yuk. And what's up with the dress that cuts off all circulation to her boobs? Though I must admit that her crack at Ricky Gervais was pretty funny.

While I LOVE Connie Britton, and LOVE the idea of her wearing a dress that she bought at an LA thrift store to the Globes...THIS should not have been the dress...

I think this may well be the funniest acceptance speech I've ever seen. That Sofia Vergara is really everything that Charo ever wished she was...

 

I fear that George Clooney has finally taken the middle-aged bachelor bit one step too far when he has started dating a former professional wrestler and Dancing With the Stars also-ran...

While I was rooting for Viola Davis for Best Actress...

...it's hard to argue any time they decide to give an award to Ms. Streep. But Meryl, honey, what was up with the Temple Grandin costume?...

But in the end...my man Idris Elba WON!...

...and so all is right with the world.

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I just got the coolest iPhone app! Star Walk.

You just aim your iPhone up at the night sky, and it will tell you what constellations you're seeing! It's unstinkingbelievable. I can't wait to pull this thing out on the next Cub Scout camp out!

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Have y'all seen these?

They're personalized M & Ms! You can go to THIS WEBSITE and order them with your own phrases and pictures on them.  I keep thinking that they would be really cute for birthday favors for Jude's birthday in May. But on the other hand, they might just be a rip off. What do you think?

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Okay, run over and visit Stacy who's still Uncorked, and still carrying on as the random thoughts rebel.

RTT: Downton, Infectious Disease and Gary

Welcome to yet another installment of Random Tuesday Thoughts!

First of all...

DOWNTON ABBEY SEASON TWO!!!!

Be still my heart! SOOOOOOO good. That's all I need to say.

Thanks to Aimee for reminding me via Facebook that it was starting up again on Sunday, or I would have MISSED it, which would certainly have thrown me into a deep depression.

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 Do y'all want to hear a crazy story? Good, because I've got one.

My friend Russ is one of my oldest friends in LA. I always say he's like a little brother. Well, a couple of weeks ago, he went to the doctor for a physical, and had a routine blood test. You know how when you get blood drawn, the place where they stuck the needle usually hurts for about a day, then feels fine? Well, the place where they stuck him kept hurting - for a couple of weeks. So he went back to the doctor to get it checked out. She took one look at it, and told him she thought he had a blood clot, and needed to go to the emergency room.

He went immediately to Cedars-Sinai Hospital, but the ER was really busy, so he split (he's notoriously impatient!) and went to a smaller hospital near his home. There, they told him his did in fact have  a blood clot, and stuck him in the hospital for 4 days, putting him on blood thinners. While there, they ran a bunch of other tests on him, including some kind of chest scan. On the fourth day, the doctor announced to him that they had determined that he had Stage 4 lung cancer!

Stunned, he spoke briefly to his lovely wife Deena. Funny, he had no symptoms of lung cancer.  He checked himself out of this hospital, drove himself to Cedars-Sinai again and checked himself in. There, they ran a battery of further tests.

First, they told him that his blood clot was superficial, and they were shocked that this other hospital had hospitalized him at all, let alone for FOUR days. They then checked his lungs, and told him that though there was definitely something wrong, they needed further tests to determine what it was. After a biopsy, they assured him that he did NOT have lung cancer.

Soon, he was visited by a fleet of doctors. It was like an episode of House. The infectious disease team checked him out. Apparently, his lungs were riddled with some kind of infection, but no one could figure out what it was. Finally, someone mentioned to him that his symptoms fit a weird and strangely specific disease known as "Ohio River Valley Disease". "But that's crazy" they said "Because it's only contracted through contact with bird or bat feces in the Ohio River Valley."

Hmmm. Turns out, Russ and his wife and two kids just bought a 100 year old farm house in the OHIO RIVER VALLEY, and he spent the last month cleaning out the attic! Crazy, right? I kept picturing Chase and Taub rooting around in Russ's attic.

His prognosis is excellent, btw.

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I have been working very hard to hide the truth from Jude, but I fear he may soon figure it out. The truth? I am terrible at math. Sad but true. I always made pretty good grades, but I had to study REALLY hard, nothing came easy. And after all these years, I have retained next to nothing. This 3rd Grade multiplication thing is nearing the extent of my abilities. Every night, I have to help Jude do 10 minutes of multiplication drills. I was fine with the 2X through the 5X, but then things started getting a little tricky. When he finally hit the 9X, I actually had to write out a crib sheet, so I knew if he was right or not! "9 times 6?" I'd ask. "54" he'd answer. (I surreptitiously check my notes) "Correct!". It's sad. What the hell am I going to do when he gets to algebra?!

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I pretty much NEVER get political here, but my old friend Gary has started writing a socio-political blog - Gary Has Issues. He's basically a good solid Democrat, but he's fair-minded and clear-thinking and pretty moderate, and you should check him out whether you agree with him or not. I usually describe myself as "just right of bleeding-heart liberal", so I generally agree with him, but I think that though most conservatives would disagree with many of his opinions, nobody would find him offensive. Plus, he's really smart and a great writer. Gary used to be an actor and comic, but is now the creative director at an ad agency in Iowa. And oh look, here we are together in what is possibly the worst movie ever made...

 

 

Wasn't I limber? Please don't hold this against him.

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And speaking of old friends...

My old friend Kim Wayans has a new movie out - Pariah...

It's an amazing film and she gives an startling performance. She's always thought of as a comedic actress because of all those Wayans brothers of hers, but she's a wonderful dramatic actress. Who knew? Well, I knew, because we studied with the same acting teacher. Anyway, it's an indie film, in a small release, and they really need the support. So y'all should check out this link to a page on Facebook that lists where it's showing across the nation. Austin, Houston, Atlanta, DC, NYC, LA, Seattle - you're all good to go.

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Hmmm, yes. I think I have now emptied out all of my random thoughts for this week. Drop by Stacy's place for more random thinking.