Could there be a more phallic boy activity than building/shooting off rockets?
Rockets = Fun
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Mmmm...okay.
I truly can't decide if this is cute or creepy.
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I love this geek t-shirt website! They have an amazing array of funny t-shirts for every geek subject I love!
Dr. Who humor tees...
Downton Abbey humor tees...
Zombie humor tees...
Star Wars humor tees...
Pi humor tees...
and a surprising number of Jesus humor tees...
If anybody is thinking of getting me a belated birthday present, I'd love a Medium in one of these...
Gotta love bacon as element. Or this...
Or the best of all...
...which neatly combines choir geek humor with zombie geek humor. Gotta have it!
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I got this new face goo I'm trying out, that I got with a Groupon. It's this Pure Collagen stuff, which is called "Instant Face-lift Serum". Yeah, right. I've had it for three days now, and so far so good. I can't say it actually looks like I've had a face-lift, but I'm an optimist. The only problem is that it stinks. It really does. I keep devotedly applying it in "circular motions" twice a day, but it's starting to get to me. My face smells like...hmm, how to describe it. Kind of a mixture of cow hoof and manure. This smell led me to some internet investigation about where cosmetic collagen comes from and lo and behold...cow parts. True. And it's on my face. Twice a day. The things we do for vanity.
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I am FINALLY getting to go see The Hunger Games today - I wanted to go on opening day, but I was involved in the aforementioned Rocket Camp. Grrr...the things we sacrifice for our children. But in the meantime, I have found a couple of excellent Hunger Games items to share with you...
Katniss Everdeen's Pinterest Page...
If it's too small for you to read, you can check it out HERE.
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Very good. See Stacy. Read others. Return next week for more Random Tuesday Thoughts.
Do you remember back two years ago, when I spent two weeks on the sofa with stinking, fracking vertigo? Well, I did. And now I fear that it's BACK.
It's not as bad as before - I don't actually feel like I'm on a boat. I just have a head full of cotton, a complete inability to think straight, and I'm about half deaf. I'm guessing it's the same inflammation of the inner ear thing as before. I really don't NEED this.
I seem to be unable to concentrate, or come up with any ideas. But luckily, Mamarazzi has provided a bit of inspiration, so I'm diving into WWTK Wednesday once again...
1. What is for dinner tonight (bonus for sharing the recipe)?
We have been crazy for veggies around here lately, because I've started getting organic produce DELIVERED to our home, which is a little bit of brilliance. I have a whole post planned about this, so the details will be forthcoming as soon as the cotton clears out of my brain. Anyway, we have been eating lots of excellent produce. And since the thought of grocery shopping makes me slightly queasy, this delivery thing is excellent. Tonight I'm pulling some chicken/apple sausage out of the freezer and serving it with Jan's Pan-Fried Fingerling Potatoes and some fresh spinach, which I'm just going to saute with a little olive oil and garlic. Now here's my question...do I still get the bonus if I'm only providing a link to the recipe? And what is this bonus anyway? Ooo, I hope it's money.
2) Share something you are currently looking forward to.
I am determined to get to Austin this summer! My old college gang is planning another reunion, and I am going to do everything I can to make it a nice long trip so I can see all my girlfriends and my cousins. PLEASE God makes this work! I need me a Texas fix!
3) What are your thoughts on re-gifting?
I would say that it depends entirely on the thoughtfulness behind the re-gifting. If someone gives you something and you're not sure if you'll ever actually use it, but when you look at it you think "That's SO perfect for..." whoever, then giving it to whoever is fine and dandy. If someone gives you something that you don't want and you give it away just to get rid of it and because you're too lazy to go and shop for somebody, then it's just plain tacky.
4) How often do you rearrange your furniture?
Never. I'm stuck in a rut.
5) Share a picture from your cellphone or camera.
Oh well now, isn't this handy! Jude and I spent a pleasant but mostly uneventful weekend at Cub Scout Winter Camp in Lake Arrowhead, and I was wondering how I was going to work in the pictures! I went a little crazy with the Hipstamatic...
You thought I'd forgotten about you, didn't you? But no, I have just been in a seafood induced stupor, which I am just barely coming out of. Ergh. I just ended a sentence with a preposition, but I'm just too damned worn out to try to fix it.
The Feast of the Seven Fishes was a success. Much booze, much fun, much children excited for Santa, much good friends and much fishes.
Here is the menu, which I promised you last week, and am just now getting around to sharing...
Cocktails-
Lemon Martinis/Martinis/Wine/Good beer
Appetizers-
Fish #1- Salmon Tartar
Fish #2 - Mussels & Basil Bread Crumbs
Salad Course-
Octopus Salad (what Mommy calls the Pulpu)
Scallops with Basil Stuffing on a Bed of Greens with Lemon Vinaigrette
Primi-
Linguine Frutti di Mare (Linguini with Seafood Sauce)
Secondi -
Baccala Alla Vesuviana (Salt Cod With Tomatoes and Capers)
Roasted Shrimp with Feta
Dessert-
Tiramisu
Whew. I really have to say, it all turned out very well. I'm afraid that the roasted shrimp was a tad underroasted. And by underroasted, I mean raw. This was due, I hate to say, to the fact that by the time we reached this point of the meal, yours truly may have imbibed one too many Lemon Martini, and wasn't paying good attention. Oops. But otherwise, it all came out very well. Particularly the scallops, which got raves, and honestly should have been stinking excellent, considering I could have paid the gas bill with the amount of cash I coughed up for them. Here is the really SIMPLE recipe...
Scallops with Basil Stuffing
1/2 cup fresh basil leaves
1 clove garlic, peeled
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. freshly ground pepper
1/3 cup plus 2 tbsp. olive oil
1 1/2 lbs. scallops (the really good, fat ones, the ones that you ask the fish man for, not really looking at the price per pound, and then when he rings it up, you stare at the price and start to hyperventilate)
Mince the basil, garlic, salt and pepper together until very fine. I used the old fashioned mortar and pestle that Mommy gave me. Mix in a small bowl, or cup with 2 tbsp. olive oil.
Make a deep horizontal slit in the side of each scallop, but don't cut all the way through. Fill each scallop with about 1 tsp. of the basil mixture; close. Pour the remaining oil onto a plate or pan, and turn each scallop in it, then place on a broiler pan.
Broil the scallops for 2 to 3 minutes per side, no more. (Or grill them, which would have been excellent, but I was too damned lazy to go stand outside grilling while all the fun was being had inside.)
I served them on a bed of arugula and endive (which I insist on pronouncing ahn-deeve, just because I can) with a Lemon Vinaigrette - 1 part lemon juice, 2 parts olive oil, salt, pepper.
Serves 4. You may do the math re: how many pounds I had to buy to feed 11!
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I will only brag on my sweet boy once here. I swear.
On Christmas Eve morning, before he ran in to play video games, Jude sat down at his little desk and made...a birthday card for Jesus. Couldn't you just die.
I fear he is just not an artist. But I particularly like the little "You" with an arrow to the baby. He put the card under the tree next to the nativity scene. Very dear.
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No one gave me a Snuggie. It's sad. I keep asking. Nobody gives me one. I can't decide if people just think that I'm joking or if they think I'm too good for one. It must be something like that, or surely somebody would give me one by now. Come to think of it, nobody's ever given me a Chia Pet either. Always wanted one of them too.
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Jimmy did, however, give me that scarf I've been dying for (I actually got the card from the store, and wrote the name of the scarf with the color I wanted on it, and handed it to the man - sometimes you've just got to take care of yourself.), a gift certificate for a massage (which I NEED) and a gift certificate for Barnes and Noble, which I'm looking forward to using. My sister-in-law gave me a fabulous cookbook from Cook's Magazine. And my friend and Christmas Eve guest Laura gave me this cool trio of kitchen products- hand soap, dish soap and counter cleaner in a little holder thing, which I'm strangely excited about - I keep finding reasons to clean the kitchen counter. She reads this blog, so I'm going to count this as her thank you note. And my friends and other Christmas Eve guests, Scott and Melissa, always bring me a new bottle of special bourbon every year. This year's treat is Black Maple Hill...
DELICIOUS!
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We spent Christmas Day at our friends Pat and Debra's house. They always do a fabulous meal, and their home in the Hollywood Hills is lovely and warm. And I'm always so stinking exhausted that I love that I can just sit there and do NOTHING. Pat (Patsy) is an amazing Italian chef, who also does outstanding meats, and Debra handles all the "American" food and the desserts. Jude blew me away by eating a gigantic plate of gnocchi with sauce and prime rib. He loves Uncle Pat's cooking! I've posted Pat's videos before, but here's his take on a simple tomato sauce...
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Patsy also made me what I think may become my new favorite cocktail, a Negroni. It's a really old-fashioned cocktail, that's kind of bitter and strange. An acquired taste, but then pretty addicting. Mmmm...
Negroni
1 part gin
1 part Campari
1 part Sweet Vermouth
Shake in a cocktail shaker with ice, and serve straight up in a martini glass. Garnish with a curl of orange peel.
I think I'll need to buy some Campari tomorrow!
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A couple of years ago, we started this sweet/silly tradition in our little family. On holiday nights, we let Jude sleep in bed with us. So that makes FOUR bodies in the same bed, because our little dog Fancy always sleeps on my feet. But I'm afraid that this is gonna have to come to a stop soon. On Christmas night, we all snuggled in and watched the Marx Brothers Duck Soup, then went to sleep. I swear, Jude must have rolled over and hit me in the head 4 times during the night, Jimmy was snoring like mad, and the dog wouldn't get off my feet. And on top of that, I woke up a couple of times with my hormonal night sweats. NOT a festive night.
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Last night, after an absolutely BRILLIANTLY lazy day, Jude and I ventured to downtown LA, and went ice skating with his Cub Scout pack. And by "Jude and I" went ice skating, I mean Jude went ice skating. I stood on the side of the rink and waved in support. Middle-aged Texas Woman = NOT ice skater. However, Little Californian Boy = Pretty decent and scrappy ice skater. No points for form, but he manages to stay on his feet and have a lot of fun. I'm thinking we might head down there again later in the week. Anybody else in?
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Remember those 15 pounds that I lost with Weight Watchers? Well, about 5 of them have come home again, thanks to all this feasting. January 2? Back on the WW. Damn.
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That's it for now. Damn, I wish I had some of that Campari. Sounds so good...
Y'all head on over to visit Stacy for the usual Tuesday randomness.
Christmas is progressing nicely in the Second Blooming household. Miraculously, ALL the gift shopping is done and now I can concentrate on planning my Feast of the Seven Fishes for Christmas Eve. Expect a menu in a few days.
In the meantime, I've been doing a little baking. Yesterday, I told Jude that I was going to bake some Christmas cookies, and would love for him to help. He cried "Hurray!", gave me a big hug and said "That's the perfect Mother-Son Christmas activity!" I swear to God. Where in the hell did he get that? Could he have been reading Ladies Home Journal behind my back?
Anyway, we made these, which were one of Mama's best Norwegian Christmas cookies. Buttery and nutty, and not too sweet.
Lilli Kages
5 cups flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 cup almonds, chopped fine (I use the food processor)
2 cups butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
3 tsp. vanilla
egg whites, beaten
colored sugar for decorating
Sift together flour and baking powder. Add almonds. In a separate large bowl, cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Add dry ingredients to the butter mixture. Form dough into 1 inch balls. Dip each ball first in the beaten egg whites, then in red or green colored sugar. Place on cookie sheets, colored sugar side up. Flatten each ball with a fork, making a little waffle pattern. Bake in a 350 degree oven for about 8 to 10 minutes, until they are just browning on the bottom.
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You have to try this out: Go to Google.com. Type in "Let it snow" then enter. Voila! A Winter Wonderland! Be sure to use the "Defrost" button when you need it.
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Yesterday, Jude's Cub Scout pack went caroling at St. John of God old folks home. I, of course, opened my big mouth and volunteered to lead it up, but I must say it was really worth it. I printed out sheets of Christmas song lyrics, and tried to rehearse them a bit. The dads seemed to consider it a rather radical idea when I suggested that we all try to sing in the same key. But the boys rose to the occasion and were very, very sweet and enthusiastic. Lots of happy old people.
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Because everybody deserves a "gift of pleasure".
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My Daddy's Christmas Joke -
Once there was a small church in a small town, which was in desperate need of new hymnals. The old ones were worn out and falling apart, and the young pastor desperately wanted to get them new ones before Christmas. Unfortunately, the church was low on funds. So the pastor started asking around to local businesses, to see if anyone would be kind enough to buy the churches new hymnals. He was delighted when the local drugstore agreed to foot the bill. The new hymnals arrived on December 24th, just in time for Christmas services. On Christmas morning, the congregation all opened their beautiful new hymnals and began to sing...
Hark the herald angels sing,
Carter's Pills are just the thing!
Peace on earth and mercy mind,
Two for adult, one for child.
(Every Christmas morning, one of the only times Mama and I could drag Daddy to church, they'd sing Hark the Herald Angels Sing and Daddy would murmur these lyrics under his breath. Daddy and I would get into a giggling fit. Mama never figured out why.)
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For all of my Jewish readers...
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After making the Norwegian Christmas cookies, I made a batch of Mama's Bourbon Balls. I've mentioned before how Mama and her best friend, my Aunt Margaret, got together almost every afternoon to either cook/bake/can or play gin. And drink bourbon. But sometimes the bourbon actually made it's way into the food. I remember one particularly productive afternoon when these two ladies started experimenting with the contents of Aunt Margaret's liquor cabinet. They made Rum Balls, Kahlua Balls, Creme de Menthe Balls, Creme de Cacao Balls. Just went crazy with the balls. Their only unsuccessful version was Scotch Balls. Sort of taking a good idea one step too far. Anyway, here's their recipe. Feel free to experiment. WARNING: Not for children. Fairly boozy.
Mama and Aunt Margaret's Bourbon Balls
2 tbsp. cocoa
1 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup bourbon
2 tbsp. light corn syrup
2 cups crushed vanilla wafers (food processor)
1 cup finely chopped nuts (food processor)
Extra powdered sugar for dusting
Sift cocoa and powdered sugar into a bowl. Combine liquor and corn syrup, then mix into the cocoa and sugar. Add vanilla wafers and nuts; mix well. Form into 3/4 inch balls and roll in powdered sugar. Let dry for a few hours. Yields 3 dozen. These freeze well.
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My choir sang this on Sunday. Not a traditional Christmas song, but certainly in the Advent spirit. I'm afraid that while my choir has soul, we're not quite THIS soulful. Enjoy...
Very good then. Run over to Stacy's for many more random carolers.
Do y'all remember that woman, Ayelet Waldman, the writer who is married to author Michael Chabon (one of my favorites)? A few years ago, there was a big hoopla when she wrote an essay in which she basically explored her conviction that a woman should consider her relationship with her husband more important than her relationship with her children. "I love my husband more than I love my children" she said. She also said that she could survive the death of her children, but not the death of her husband, and stated "He and I are the core of what he cherishes... the children are satellites, beloved but tangential." Do you remember that woman?
I am not that woman. There, I said it.
I could survive the death of my husband, but not the death of my child. I place my child first, and my husband second. I'm not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing. It is just what I feel.When I have to make a choice between the two, Jude always comes out on top.
Part of this stems from a belief that since Jude is just a little boy, he needs me much more. He is a child. He needs protection and guidance and love, love, love in order to grow to be a confident, capable man. To have confidence in himself, and confidence in my love.
Jimmy, however, is a grown man, who should have received all that protection and guidance and love, love, love from HIS mother. He's a grown man, for God's sake, and should already have confidence in himself and confidence in my love...oh wait. I see.
So here lies one of the biggest problems with being married...with children. We women start placing the kid first, and the needy little boy still deep inside our husbands is left out. Maybe this is incredibly obvious to all of you, but I must say, this has been a powerful revelation for me. Sometimes, Jimmy needs me to let him know that I love him. That I choose...him.
This all came clear to me last week.
Jimmy had planned a night out for us on Saturday. We seldom (and I mean SELDOM) go out on a date night. It's pathetic. But our friend Juliet Landau (yes, Drusilla to you Buffy fans) was in a play, which had been getting fabulous reviews, and we thought we should go see it to support her. Back in our pre-parenthood days, we used to see friends in plays all the time. Nowadays? Almost never, or at least almost never together. But Jimmy had been talking to Juliet's dad, Martin Landau (yes, him), and it turned out that Marty hadn't seen Juliet's play yet either, and wanted to come with us, so we could make the reservation under our name and surprise Juliet. So the plan was that we would take Marty with us, then maybe go out for a bite afterward. Sounds fun, right?
Then, on Wednesday, I got an email from Jude's Cub Scout leaders. Because Jude's pack sold the most popcorn of any pack in the Greater Los Angeles Area (some feat, I must say), the top 10 sellers were being honored with a Night of Royalty by the LA Kings hockey team, and Jude was one of the top sellers. They achieved this last year also, and it was EXTREMELY fun. Not only did each boy get two really excellent tickets for the game, but they got to go down and have their picture taken on the ice, meet with a Kings player, and during halftime, they went down and sat on the bench, and had their names announced to the whole crowd in the Staples Center, while their picture was put up on the enormous Jumbotron. A huge and exciting honor. Here they are last year...
In other words, an honor and an event that a kid and his mom would remember all their lives.
Oh, and did I mention when this was to take place? Saturday night. That is right.
What was I to do? How could I consider sending Jude on his Night of Royalty without me? But how could I tell Jimmy that I couldn't go to the play with him? Seeing this play was very important to him, and taking Marty with us meant SO much. Martin Landau is an actor who Jimmy respects tremendously, and our friendship with him is very important to him. And what's more, Marty is technically Jimmy's boss at The Actor's Studio, where Jimmy teaches.
And that was when I had my previously mentioned revelation. I had to make a choice. And I needed to choose...my husband.
I sat Jude down and tried to explain to him that I needed to be with Daddy, because sometimes Moms and Dads needed to do things just for themselves. I was prepared for him to be terribly upset that I wouldn't be with him. And guess what? He COULDN'T HAVE CARED LESS. He completely understood, and told me he hoped we had fun. I guess all that protection and guidance and love, love, love I've been giving him has made him a confident, capable boy. Confident in my love.
So Jude went off to his LA Kings game with his best friend A.J. and his mom, Ronda, and they had a BLAST! Here he is with his fellow top-sellers A.J. and Nick...
Doesn't look too miserable, does he?
What did Jimmy and I do? We had a FABULOUS time. We really did. The play was excellent. Juliet was luminous, and surprised and delighted that her dad was there to see her. Martin was amazing company. And after the play we went out to dinner. Yes, dinner at 10:30 at night! To La Poubelle, a restaurant that we used to go to all the time apres theater back in the old days. We both had the Moules Frites (mussels in white wine, leeks, garlic, butter and thyme sauce with fries) and two glasses of an excellent wine. SO decadent.
So the choice was made, and I have to say I'm extremely glad I made the choice I did. Because while Jude is confident in my love, I now know that Jimmy needs to be reassured. And I know it was good for us both. I guess we all need a little protection and guidance and love, love, love.
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FEAR NOT! You have until FRIDAY to get your name in my giveaway for a chance to win a box of GORGEOUS A Papier Letterpress Stationery. PLEASE check out this link for more info...HERE.
It is truly special and elegant stationery. You SHOULD enter my drawing. Again, the link is HERE. Just follow the instructions. It's EASY. Good luck!
Oh dear God, did my husband snore last night! It was crazy! I don't know if it's a congestion issue or what, but that man created noises that came out of his head that achieved airplane decibels. I swear. I must have kicked him 280 times. I have a vague recollection of muttering the words "If I had a hatchet, I'd put it through your head right now." But I'm not sure if I actually said this out loud to my beloved husband, or if I just dreamed about saying it to my beloved husband. For those of you who are concerned, I did NOT put a hatchet through his head. But unfortunately, as a result of all the noise, I slept little, and am exhausted. Poor me.
Also...Aunt Grace is coming to visit again next Monday, and so I am going mad scrubbing our house from stem to stern. Yesterday, I took Jude's room apart (where she'll be sleeping) and put it back together without dust. You'd all be very impressed. I even washed the curtains and shampooed the carpet. So anyway, I doubt I'll be doing much blogging this week. We'll see. In the meantime, here are a few Random Tuesday Thoughts...
So yesterday, as I was leaving Jude's Cub Scout den meeting, I turned in desperation to my friend Amanda, and said "Give me a random thought! I've got nothing!" And Amanda, who has always got something, suggested that I tell y'all about this amazing website - The Everywhereist. This Everywhereist woman is outrageous, and I guess I'm the last person to know about her, because she was voted one of Time Magazine's Top 25 Blogs of 2011. Technically it's a travel blog (and man, does this woman travel). But Amanda was particularly taken by her Friday "The Week..." posts, which are basically a really well-crafted Random Tuesday Thoughts post - weird and excellent tours of cyberspace. For instance, had you read last week's Friday post (11/11/11), you would know that November 11th is Nigel Tufnel Day on honor of the numbers going up to 11. And who wouldn't want to know that? I'm thinking I'm liking this Everywhereist.
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And since I missed celebrating Nigel Tufnel Day last week, I will now share my favorite Spinal Tap moment with you...
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Amanda also told me (as we were walking out of the aforementioned Cub Scouts den meeting) that she thought I was looking particularly slim. LOVE THAT. I tried to do my Weight Watchers weigh in yesterday, and nobody was at the office! A small gang of people accumulated in the hall of the building, but nobody ever showed. I guess I'm going to try to stop by tomorrow. I'm feeling pretty good though, I now fit into all my clothes. Which was my goal, really. And while on one hand, I'm dying to eat a few naughty things (oh baby, Thanksgiving is going to be a free-for-all!), I'm kind of enjoying my high-protein, high-fruit and vegetable, low-carb diet. Here is my favorite WW recipe of the week. I've been on a cauliflower binge...
Cauliflower with Tomatoes and Lemon
1 small head cauliflower, cut into florets
2 tsp. olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 cup red and yellow cherry tomatoes
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp. chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
1 tbsp. grated lemon zest
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line a large baking pan with parchment paper. Place cauliflower in pan; drizzle with oil and sprinkle with 1/4 tsp. salt and 1/4 tsp. pepper. Toss to coat. Spread cauliflower in single layer in pan. Roast, stirring once, until cauliflower is just tender, 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, stir together tomatoes, garlic, and remaining 1/4 tsp. salt and 14 tsp. pepper in a medium bowl. Add tomato mixture to cauliflower and stir to mix well.
Roast until cauliflower is browned and tomatoes are softened, about 15 minutes more. Transfer cauliflower mixture to serving bowl, add parsley and lemon zest, and toss to coat.
Yum.
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I fear that my laptop is on it's last legs. It's only two years old, which just doesn't seem old to me at all, but I'm afraid things are failing quickly. Not only does it "not respond" VERY often, but the other day, Fancy, our little dog, got terribly excited about something or other, and enthusiastically jumped on top of me, and thus on top of the computer. She managed to dislocate THREE keys. The f5 key has completely disappeared, and the "t" is sticky. I keep having to type t's really hard (this last sentence was quite a workout). Anyway, any ideas of how to speed this baby up? I've done all the usual PC cleanup stuff. Can I add memory? Does that help?
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Oh just kill me now. All this dieting has suddenly made me weak for amazing treats such as this...
I mean...this leaves me gasping. Here's the website from which I stole this picture as well as the recipe. Pretty damned amazing. A Tender Crumb.
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Jude's still deeply involved with this obsession with Roald Dahl. He is now on his TENTH Roald Dahl book in a row. I've pretty much given up keeping his little "What Jude's Reading" thingy there on the right sidebar up-to-date. He's been reading one Dahl book at home, and ANOTHER one at school, which he gets from the library there. So I, of course, because I'm always looking for something to worry about, have started to worry about what he's going to read when he gets through the complete works of Roald Dahl. He did read Stuart Littlethe other week, because we'd run out of Roald Dahl over the weekend, and he really loved it, so maybe I can get him on E.B. White. But if that doesn't work out, I did find this rather good list of Great Chapter Books for Boys. While it has many of the usual suspects (Captain Underpants, Stink) I also found some new ideas. Check it out.
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On Saturday, Jimmy and Jude were in the living room watching something Jimmy had recorded. Jude was laughing HYSTERICALLY, crazy, giggles and guffaws. What were they watching? W.C. Fields! Love it.
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Alright. Happy Tuesday to you all. Tomorrow I'm cleaning out the linen closet and organizing the bathroom drawers and cabinets. That is if I'm not too worn out from typing my "t's" so emphatically. Please head over to visit Stacy and her league of random thinkers.
Jude and I had an adventure this weekend. Maybe this will get you in the mood...
No? Too "Don't ask, don't tell."?
Okay, how about this...
Yeah, boy, that should have got you all worked up and patriotic!
Jude and I spent the night with the Cub Scouts aboard the USS Midway Aircraft Carrier.
Cool, right?
The USS Midway was decommissioned after Operation Desert Storm, and has been anchored in San Diego, and converted into a museum. If you're a history buff, or even if you just enjoy a man in uniform, like me, you should definitely check it out if you're ever in San Diego.
Our Cub Scout pack signed up for what they call a "Live it, Learn it" overnight stay. The idea is that if you actually live the experience of a bunch of sailors living on a boat, you'll learn a thing or two, and appreciate how really very hard it must be to serve in the military. And I must say, if that was the plan, it WORKED. This was EXHAUSTING, people. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Jude and I teamed up with his BFF A.J. and his mom Ronda...
...and drove down to beautiful San Diego on Friday afternoon after their school's early dismissal.
As per my usual luck, Friday turned out to be one of the only 35 days of measurable rainfall in Southern California. It rained buckets. Crazy, man.
In fact, the exact moment that we parked, got out of the car with our gear and started walking toward the Midway, the heavens actually opened up and dumped on us. And my pathetic, seldom needed umbrella (it was a cute pink one, which should count for something), actually did that thing you see in cartoons, when a gust of blustery wind turns it inside out and it flies up in the air. I swear. It was apparently quite funny to others who were watching, not so much to me. Soaked...
The weekend was led by a group of volunteers, all ex-military, and I have to say they were really wonderful. Mostly crusty old guys who loved talking about the Navy and loved kids.
Here's our event itinerary in brief:
1700 (this is military time, y'all): Welcome Aboard, sailors! Single file lines. Much saluting.
1720: We're marched in to the berthing area, so we can locate our racks.
View from inside my rack...
1725: Muster; Roll call.
1730: Marched to the mess for some really mediocre chow.
Notice my pathetic attempt to Weight Watcherify my chow by stealing the uneaten lettuce, tomato and pickles off several little boys burgers and making a sad little burger salad.
1745: Free time to explore the Hanger Bay. The boys climbed in and out of restored WWII and Vietnam aircraft, and got to go in a simulator which recreates what it was like to take off from an aircraft carrier and fly into Desert Storm. Apparently, very cool. I chose not to indulge myself after eating all that chow.
1900: Muster in the Hanger Bay.
1920: Evening events began. We were divided into little "squadrons" and lead on a tour around the entire ship. Through endless halls and up and down endless ladders...
From the bridge...
...to the engine room...
We learned a whole, whole, whole lotta stuff, and according to one of the leader guys, walked about 5 miles.
2240: Muster in the Hanger Bay.
2300: Taps. Lights out.
That's 11:00, people. Which for both little boys and old moms is LATE. And no shenanigans here. We were expected to hustle our butts into our sleeping clothes, brush our teeth (I did manage to put on a little cream, thanks be to God) and climb into our racks in 20 minutes. No hanging out, drinking with the dads on this trip.
It is at this point that I should point out that these "racks" are designed to sleep 18-year old boys. Not 50-year old women. Or, for that matter, whiny little boys. Jude climbed into his sleeping bag and announced "Yep. This is even more of a slab than the bed at Grandmas." Which is bad, I'm telling you. Between the mattress and the weird ship noises and the snoring, I think I slept a total of 2 hours. Actually, the snoring wasn't as bad as I'd feared (all those men, all that metal). My friend Anthony's theory was that nobody snored because nobody slept enough to actually reach that REM level. Probably true.
0600: Reveille. Really. I swear. Jude rolled out of his rack, rubbed his eyes groggily and muttered "I've gotta hit the head." He loved all the Navy jargon.
0620: Muster in the Hanger Bay. Gear packed and carried with you. Really. I swear. Time for teeth brushing, but not for a little cream.
0630: Marched to the mess for even more mediocre chow. I have now experienced powdered eggs. Not an experience worth repeating. I must say, however, that Navy Joe is pretty damned good. The Navy is where they started calling coffee Joe in the first place. But I will let you Google it yourself if you're actually interested in hearing the story.
0700: Marched to the Flight Deck for more learning.
Sunrise over San Diego Harbor was pretty damned beautiful, I must say. Here we saw the giant catapults they used to launch the fighter jets into the air and the giant cables that the jets caught with their tailhooks when they landed. We heard some cool war stories.
And explored some jets.
0900: Muster in the Hanger Bay.
0930: Dismissed.
Whew. That was a lot of Live it and Learn iting.
Jude and I both hereby have a new appreciation of our US military, and what they go through.
I'm not sure if I would have been cut out for military life. I was much happier just playing it on tv. I fear that I need a nice mattress. And a good shower. And...a little cream. Though a ship full of all those men might have been enjoyable. And I think I would have liked being a fighter pilot. Or at least to have played one on tv.
My favorite thing about all this is that I think Jude has a tiny bit of understanding now about this man...
That's my precious Daddy when he was a sailor during WWII. I even caught Jude telling one of the leader guys that his grandpa that died before he was born was in the Navy in World War II. And I guess that's worth all the marching and bad chow.
Friday, 6:00 pm - Took Jude to his Cub Scout Pack meeting. Three hours in a gym with 40 boys, all screaming and running around. Much chaos.
In new unofficial role as "Cub Scout Leader Who Doesn't Really Have a Position or Any Authority and Refuses to Wear the Ugly Uniform But Seems to Do a Tremendous Amount of the Work" spent much of this time arranging/passing out new scouting t-shirts and handing out achievement beltloops/patches.
Actually achieved 3 patches of my very own as "CSLWDRHAPOAAARTWTUUBSTDATAOTW".
Didn't eat any of the dinner, because the Webelos had made cheeseburgers and Doritos for dinner, and that's not exactly Weight Watchers.
Friday, 9:00 - Returned home and managed to scrounge up some Weight Watchers doable foods.
Couldn't get Jude to go to sleep until 10:00, because he'd started a new book (see sidebar).
10:00 pm -Stupidly started fiddling around with this Pinterest thing everybody is talking about.
12:30 pm - Realized that I was still fiddling around with this Pinterest thing, and that it was 12:30.
Saturday, 6:45 am - Alarm went off.
7:15 am - Arrived with Jude at the soccer field at the time his coaches had told us we needed to arrive for his 8:00 am soccer game.
7:45 am - Everyone else on Jude's soccer team arrived at soccer field, including aforementioned coaches. Sigh...
9:00 am - Painful defeat - 0 - 3. Sadness all around.
Went to grocery store on the way home. Remembered to buy toilet paper, milk and wine. Yea me! Forgot to buy dog food. Sad for Fancy, the dog.
Cleaned house. Did laundry.
1:00 pm - Walked around to the cul-de-sac to help set up for our neighborhood associations yearly fall block party as was asked. Two other neighbors there. No one knows what's going on. We stare at each other for 30 minutes, waiting for someone who knew something to arrive, while Jude flew around the cul-de-sac madly on his scooter with no helmet on. No one who knew anything ever showed up. Went home.
Piddled with this Pinterest thing.
Cooked chicken taquitos and hotdogs to take to the block party.
4:00 pm - Walked around the corner to the block party carrying taquitos and hot dogs. Jude entered the giant blow up slide thingy with all the other neighborhood children.
Hung out with neighbors. Ate one piece of chicken - only Weight Watchers worthy food at block party.
Stared at barbecued ribs and chocolate cake, but didn't eat them.
Felt hungry, but happily pious.
7:30 pm - Jude's friend A.J. arrived at the block party and joined Jude in aforementioned giant blow up slide thingy, from which Jude had yet to emerge.
8:30 pm - Jude and A.J. decided they wanted to exit the giant blow up slide thingy together and I needed to take them back to our house to play to Wii. Jimmy stayed at the party.
Still hadn't bought any dog food, so gave Fancy two hot dogs for dinner.
While boys played Wii, I watched 5 episodes of "Criminal Minds" which I'd taped over the last many weeks. Jimmy called to tell me that he and his little friends Brian and Erick (both other middle-aged dads) were going to go to Erick's garage and "jam" (play guitars and tambourines, sing and...drink tremendous amounts of beer).
Fancy's hot dog induced gas filled the house with a horrid stench.
11:00 pm - Managed to make Jude and A.J. go to sleep. Stayed up watching more "Criminal Minds".
12:00 pm - Tried to go to sleep, but due to excessive "Criminal Minds" viewing, was sure that a serial killer was going to sneak into our house and do something heinous like staple my eyes open, or dip the boys feet in acid.
1:00 am - Time Jimmy claims that he came home, drunk, from Erick's "jam session".
2:30 am - Time Jimmy did, in fact, come home, drunk, from Erick's "jam session", because I heard him.
Sunday, 9:15 am - Woke up, looked at clock and freaked out - needed to be at church, Jude and A.J. in tow, for pre-mass choir practice by 10:00 am.
10:00 am - Tried to leave for church. Made hungover Jimmy get up to move his car, which was blocking my car in the driveway. Jimmy's car wouldn't start.
Jude, A. J. and I, with the help of some random neighbors who happened to be walking by, manage to push Jimmy's car out of the driveway onto the street.
10:30 am - Arrive at church for my 10:00 rehearsal. The large church parking lot is all set up for the annual church carnival, which we were planning to attend after mass. Boys are very excited. About the carnival, not so much about the mass.
12:00 noon - Church is over, and we head out to the carnival. After joining my friend Lynn and her daughters, Julianna and Isabella to set up the church auditorium for our choir hosted bingo, we all hit the rides and amusements.
12:30 pm - Jude's friend A.J. asks for the first time if he can play the "toss the ping pong ball and win a goldfish" game. I tell him "no", as A.J.'s mother, Ronda, won't allow him to have a goldfish because she has cats.
1:30 pm - Jude and A. J. have run through all $40 worth of carnival ride tickets I've purchase for them.
1:35 pm - Jude and A. J. think they may need to vomit from excessive carnival ride riding. No one actually vomits.
I send a frantic text to A. J.'s mother, Ronda, saying "THEY'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, COME GET THEM!"
1:40 pm - I eat one piece of grilled chicken from the Filipino Food Booth, the only food I can find at the carnival which is Weight Watchers approved.
1:45 pm - Jude's friend A. J. asks me for the 968th time if he can play the "toss the ping pong ball and win a goldfish" game. I say "OH, ALRIGHT, FOR GOD"S SAKE!"
1:55 pm - A. J. spends $6 in game tickets to try to win a $.18 goldfish. Luckily, he's not a winner, and we aren't forced to tote a bag of ill-fated fish around for the rest of the day.
2:30 pm - Ronda arrives and whisks those boys off. Whew.
3:00 pm - Choir Bingo starts up in the auditorium. I work in my new career - Parttime Volunteer Church Bingo Caller. "O - 62!"
8:15 pm - I stop calling bingo.
8:45 pm - I arrive home to find hungover Jimmy asleep, while Jude (whom Ronda had kindly fed and returned home) reads next to him in bed.
8:46 pm - I pour myself a much needed glass of wine. I realize I haven't eaten any dinner, and eat 1 Point worth of smoked turkey and a cheese stick.
8:50 pm - Realized that I still hadn't bought any dog food for Fancy. Gave her 6 dog treats and some smoked turkey for dinner.
Many years ago, my friend Kaaren coined a phrase which I have adopted. "Movie Deja Vu" is the peculiar feeling that one gets when driving around Los Angeles that one has been there before, when in fact, they have simply seen the place in about 200 movies and tv shows.
It often happens when somebody first moves here. Numerous LA locations have been used ad nauseum on tv cop shows - places like the LA River...
the Sixth Street Bridge in Boyle Heights...
and most of Griffith Park.
It's very disconcerting. You'll be driving along and suddenly get this powerful rush of familiarity. "When have I been here before?" Then you remember it was an episode of..."Mannix" or "The Closer" or something.
I'll never forget the first time I drove through Malibu Canyon, back when I first moved out here. I was driving along, enjoying the beautiful scenery, and was suddenly faced with this view...
and I thought "Wow, it's so beautiful. It looks just like Korea."
Hmm. Strange. I've never been to Korea. Why would I think this looks like Korea?
So...picture that picture up there with a helicopter flying over it. And the familiar theme song. And Radar's head...
Yes, that's where they shot M*A*S*H. Totally freaked me out when I realized it.
So anyway, yesterday, Jude's Cub Scout pack went on a hike. We met at Franklin Canyon Park, and walked around the lake.
Familiar? No? Maybe in black and white...
Okay, add another familiar soundtrack. Whistling. And a dad and a little boy. And their fishin' poles...
Don't you love it? What a great place for a Cub Scout hike!
(Jude's second from the left with his hat on backwards.)
Why on earth was I thinking that life would get easier when Jude went back to school?
Maybe in the past it WAS easier. I remember years when I got home from dropping him off at school on the first day, and ran around the house singing "Ta-Ra-Ra Boom-De-Ay" at the top of my lungs.
But this year he just has so damned many activities after school! And all of his school and scouting activities are back in full swing. No more la-dee-dahing days of summer. It's back to the old grind.
Since I know you're all dying to know every last detail of my child's schedule, here's how our past week played out -
Swimming-
Jude has started with a new swim team. Y'all may remember my concern about the super-stressful, super-intense swim team Jude started this summer. Well, after much fretting and questioning everyone on the planet, I have found a new swim team for him, one which is MUCH less stressful. It also has a ton of kids closer to his age, several of which go to his school. Carpooling might even become a viable option (let's give a "woohoo!"). Though the pool is a little bit farther away, the hours are shorter and more doable (4:00 to 5:30, while the old team was 5:00 to 7:00 - I mean, please...).And best of all, it only costs $35 a month vs. the $175 a month for the old team. The coaches seem very caring and motivated, and he seems MUCH happier. However...they still want him swimming 2 to 3 afternoons a week, so we're trying Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Ergh. We'll see.
I can't quite figure out these "swim moms". Some seem to be pretty competitive, scoping out Jude's skills and asking me how many meets he's been to (none). They're the ones who sit and watch the practices with a critical eye. I'll need to keep an eye on these. Some of them don't seem too invested in the competitive aspect of the swimming at all - they're all mothers of girls who are a little bit...chubby, and they seem to be just looking for some kind of exercise to get their girls moving. Some are them I think of as the "drop-off" moms. While their kids seem pretty serious about the swimming thing, they drop the kids and run. I would like to become one of them, but I haven't figured out what to do with myself for the short time he's in the pool. I have located a good grocery store in the neighborhood, maybe I'll save my shopping for pool time. And as of October 1, a GORGEOUS new library is opening up next door to the pool, and I can bring my laptop and do a little writing while I'm waiting. Can't wait. In the meantime, I just sit there and read, and try to keep to myself.
Soccer -
I had REALLY thought that this would be the year that Jude gave up the soccer. The real truth is...sigh...that he's just not that good at it. He has the potential - he's fast and agile. But he just doesn't have that drive that really good team sports kids have. He will spend the entire game running around the field, looking busy, but never actually touching the ball. He seems a little scared of really getting in there. So I didn't even sign him up this year.
Then suddenly, a couple of weeks ago, he asked me when soccer was starting up, and when I told him I hadn't signed him up this season, he freaked. Luckily, one of my Cub Scout camping dad pals is also one of the heads of the soccer league, and he saved my butt by sneaking Jude in. He even put him on a team with all his friends from school, which is coached by 3 dads that I adore.
Unfortunately, the practices are NOT close by (practically in downtown LA) and since we have to schedule them around the dads' work schedules, they're from 6 -7:30 on Thursday nights. Ugh. So Thursday afternoons, I have to get the boy homeworked and dinnered early so we can hit traffic in time to make practice. The mom situation at soccer is pretty good though, as I know most of them from school. And again, carpooling looks to be a good possibility (insert another "woohoo").
However, I need to get my head in a better place when it comes game time, because I'm just not doing my best and most motivating parenting here. On Saturday, they had their first scrimmage. At one point, Jude came out to take a break, his head hanging and spirits low. He told me he was "the worst guy on the team". And for just a second, I know that I...hesitated. There was a beat when I said to myself inside my head "Well...". Then I got it together and was all encouraging and stuff, but I knew that he had seen that flicker of doubt in my eyes. My friend Diana was sitting next to me, and she immediately saved the day, told Jude that she thought he was going great and that her son, Nicholas, had told her that Jude was really the guy to watch this year. I'm sure it was not true, but she totally pumped him up. When he got back in the game, he went out and managed to break away for the goal, and the only thing that stopped him was that a kid on the other team knocked him down and fouled him. Everybody cheered for him. I was so proud of him and ashamed of myself. I must work on this.
Cub Scouts -
Jude is now a Bear Cub. And our year kicked off with YET ANOTHER CAMPOUT. This one, however, was a little different, as we all just pitched our tents on the field at our school. I somehow managed to end up with Jude and his friends A.J. and Will all in our tent. At least they don't snore. They do, however, fart, and I'm telling you, those boys are stinky. I realize that they are only 8, and are just going to get stinkier.
I also, thanks to all that camping over the summer, seem to have achieved kind of a more "senior parent" position, which I am trying hard to avoid. Because I fear that it may require...responsibilities, which I DON'T want. As I stated previously, I WILL NOT wear that ugly Cub Scout Leader outfit. EVER. I am happy to show up, and camp, and help organize the skits and clean up and drink contraband beer with the dads, but I just can't become any kind of an official leader. Really. I swear.
I beg you all to hold me to my above statement.
I feel sure that all this activity will fall into place once I get a rhythm going. But I also feel sure that my whole rhythm will be shot to hell the first time I get an audition right in the middle of one of these activities. I'd better get moving on befriending the possible carpool connections. Wish me luck.
