I would be willing to state that the vast majority of people in the world are laboring under a misconception about the weather here in Los Angeles.
People think that it is hot here year-round. This is not true.
What it is, is...pleasant.
[WEIRD TANGENTIAL ASIDE: Jimmy hates the word "pleasant". He cringes all over every time I use it. I have no idea why. Other words he loathes include "hearty", "chore" and "spoon". He's an odd man.]
Pleasant or...mild or...temperate. We never have extreme heat or extreme cold, or if we do, it only lasts for a short period of time. And on any given day, the temperature varies by 20 degrees. So in August, our hottest month, our average high is 84 degrees and our average low is 64 degrees. Which is damned nice - if you open the windows at night in the summer it can get downright nippy. And in December, our coldest month, while our average low is 47, the average high is 68, which definitely takes the chill out. Pretty darned pleasant.
But the tourists always get it wrong. The other day, I was driving down Hollywood Boulevard. It's December, so it's basically been in the 50's and 60's, but sure enough, there were droves of tourists walking along looking at the Walk of Fame all wearing shorts and t-shirts and huddling together for warmth.
Not that a little cold or heat keeps Los Angelenos inside, we just know to always wear layers.
It took me a while when I first moved out here, to get used to not having a separate winter wardrobe and summer wardrobe. I mean, it's likely that you might have to wear a tank top in November, and a sweater in July. So you can't box up half your clothes and keep them in the attic. You never know what you're going to need. This morning, I put on a big puffy coat to drive Jude to school, but have now peeled down to jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.
Jude wears a uniform for his school, and neither he nor most of the boys at his school, own a pair of long uniform pants. He wears shorts every single day. I think it's a kind of a "dudely" thing. Long pants aren't cool. You wear shorts and a short-sleeved shirt, with a hoodie sweatshirt and maybe a jacket. Pretty much year-round.
So the weather out here is, basically, pretty perfect.
But while most Los Angeles residents have adapted to this pleasantness, my husband Jimmy...has not. The man constantly complains about the weather. Remember, that this is a man who grew up in New York, and should know a thing or two about weather extremes, but still he complains. It's absurd.
In the winter, he's obsessed with scarves and socks. "Do you have on socks? You need to put on socks." No matter what I'm wearing, a dress and heels or whatever, he thinks I need socks. He chases Jude out of the house when we're going somewhere, wrapping a scarf around his neck. It's in the 60's, but Jimmy thinks the kid needs a scarf. Right now, there are 3 scarves in the backseat of my car where Jude leaves them after having them forced upon him by his father. The kid rolls his eyes, and takes the stupid scarf, then ditches it as soon as possible. Jimmy used to always show up at Jude's early morning soccer games wearing a long, winter coat, scarf, a hat and gloves. I kid you not. Everyone would stare.
The other day, he came in at the end of the day, and it was probably in the low 60's, and he said, and I quote, because I actually wrote it down because it was so damned silly, "It's bitter out there, just bitter." As if it was 20 below. Bitter.
And he's just as ridiculous in the summer. We'll have a high of maybe...80, and he'll come in the house gasping "Oh my God, it's stifling in here!" He runs around turning on fans. Jude and I will have to go put on sweaters.
I, on the other hand, will never complain about the weather. Coming from Texas summers with months when it doesn't drop below 100, I consider LA weather to be nirvana. It's perfectly pleasant all the time.
All the time except...Christmas.
What is my California Dreamin'? What am I dreaming of? You guessed it. I'm dreaming of a White Christmas...
All my life, I've heard the songs and sung the songs - White Christmas, Winter Wonderland, Sleigh Ride, Baby, It's Cold Outside. And I've never really known what they meant. I've lived in Texas and in LA. Nary a white Christmas in either place. I have no white Christmas's like the ones I used to know!
So while many of you will be listening for sleigh bells in the snow and building snow men and wearing things like mittens, I'll be pleasantly cool wearing a sweater with my flip flops and trying to keep my husband from forcing me to wear socks.
It's all relative, right?
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