I try. I really try. I swear, I really try.
I get up in the morning and eat my healthful and diet-conscious breakfast. Sometimes I even make it to a healthful and diet-conscious lunch. But then the day wears on and I just feel like I desperately need a little treat. And that is the slippery slope where my diet crashes and burns.
Our little family is a family of treat-eaters. I mentioned recently that some of my best memories of my mother were our after school snacks, consisting of all sorts of indulgent and exotic treats. But Jimmy is just as bad. I can't tell you how often he calls me when I'm at the grocery store and asks me to pick him up "a treat". This consists of either a savory seafood treat (crab cakes, baked clams, shrimp cocktail) or chocolate in one form or another.
Because of our mutual love of treats, we have completely spoiled both Jude (cheese, yogurts, ice cream, cookies, chips) and Fancy, who begs for treats CONSTANTLY and I ALWAYS give in. Because I...get it.
I am not going to go into the damaging psychology and pathetic nutrition of this treatmongering. That we both seem to think we "deserve" some sort of food, that food is a reward for "goodness" is completely horrible and screwed up. We know that. We're all incredibly lucky that we've always had naturally slim bodies which can handle the treats. Though as Jimmy and I slip deeper and deeper into advanced middle-age, the "naturally slim" thing slips farther and farther away. And therein lies the problem.
I need to lose some weight. I really do. But I seem to have absolutely zero impulse control. The meals I prepare are healthful enough. The problem is the treats. I just can't say no.
My big temptation is the grocery store. My bigger temptation is Trader Joe's. And my BIGGEST temptation is Trader Joe's any time near the winter holidays. It's insane. I honestly think that the Trader Joe's marketing people are absolute geniuses. It feels like they have bored a hole into my brain, sucked out knowledge of everything I crave and am unable to resist, and made it all a terrible reality.
Here are just a few of the treats I was bombarded by during my latest Trader Joe's outing. (please forgive the blur, I was shaking with desire)...
This is what I'm up against, people!
What am I to do when faced with all of this? Run and hide? Start saving for liposuction? Wear nothing but a big muu-muu until sometime in mid-January?
It's not fair.
I am now living in terror, because I know that any day now, I will be confronted by my biggest temptation of all. The food substance which embodies every quality I look for in a treat -
- Limited availability, so you must snatch it up now.
That's right, it's time for the dreaded...nog.
It's a sad state of affairs. I am pathetically weak. I have no resistance. I am completely under the power of the nog.
I don't know what to do except give up. And go eat a treat. I guess I could pray...
"Lead me not into temptation..."
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