I'm here. I swear. Has it really been over a week since I blogged? Yikes.
I'm afraid this is a testament to my state of mind. Ever since we got back from our looooooong vacation in New York, I have had the hardest time getting it together. It's just been too much at the same time. Laundry, cleaning, back-to-school, temperatures in the 90's all week, yada, yada, yada.
I would say that the biggest problem is that while Jude and I were gone for three weeks, Jimmy...was here for three weeks. By himself. Wreaking havoc in our home. I've sort of had to reclaim the place. Examples of the Jimmyization of our home...
- So far, I have come across 4 items - one of the good white towels, one of the good white pillowcases, one old ratty white dishtowel and one of Jude's white socks - which are now...pink. I have no idea what he washed them with that turned them this color. But what the hell kind of person does a load of laundry with one towel, one pillowcase, one dishtowel, one sock all mixed in with some red things? Sigh...
- Fancy had fleas. Jimmy took her to the vet and managed to deflea the house. But in doing this, he decided to wash everything. And I mean everything. Luckily, he had the good sense to ask me if it was okay to...prepare to gasp...put the cushions from the SOFA in the washing machine. He also asked me if it would be okay to wash the duvet cover/down comforter on our bed. I told him "No, no, no! Whatever you do, don't wash the duvet cover/down comforter!" However, he either forgot this, or chose to ignore it, or simply had no idea what a duvet cover was and was too embarrassed to ask. It's not COMPLETELY ruined. But it is lumpy and strange.
- When he ran out of liquid Tide, he chose to continue the washing of everything using an old box of POWDERED Borax, which he poured into the LIQUID detergent dispenser. It totally mucked it up, and took me forever to clean.
- Most of the good stuff that Jude and I record on the DVR has been erased, and replaced with reruns of old tv shows from the sixties. Naked City, The Fugitive, The Untouchables, Thriller, Night Gallery. He must have gone on some kind of a spree.
- Our dishwasher is on its last legs. I have managed to keep it going by doing three simple things, which I carefully and thoroughly explained to Jimmy before we left - a) Check before every load to make sure the little plastic dohickey that pops up and shoots the water hasn't come loose. It does this. I showed him the proper way to reinsert it. b) Rinse very well. c) Only use liquid detergent, because it seems to work better, and the powdered detergent gets mucked up in little dispenser thingy. He apparently did none of these things. I have had to go through and REWASH almost all of the dishes in the house. It's freaky.
- Nothing in the kitchen was where it belongs.
- The refrigerator was completely barren of food. I really should have taken a picture of the inside of the fridge to prove it, because it was sort of amazing. There was nothing in there but water, some old Dr. Peppers, condiments and some dried up cherry tomatoes. I had no idea what the man had eaten while we were gone, until I discovered...
- The freezer was completely filled with Trader Joe's frozen dinners. And he must have been in the mood for Chinese when he went shopping, because everything was a variation of wonton soup or stir fry. I'm not even going to think about what this did to his sodium intake.
- The bag of bags is gone. LA is slowly moving toward completely outlawing plastic grocery bags. We're all supposed to bring our own bags with us. Trader Joe's sells these nice cloth bags, which I've been buying one at a time and accumulating for some time now. I probably had 15 bags in the bag of bags. It is gone. It is nowhere to be found. Jimmy claims he has no idea what I'm talking about, but I know that he threw it away. Grrrr.
- No deep cleaning had been done for the three weeks we were gone. He managed to kind of surface clean - he pushed things into corners and vacuumed the fleas. But otherwise...yikes. The whole house smelled kind of musty and dank, like he hadn't opened a window in three weeks.
Okay, I guess that's enough griping about my husband for today. I really don't know what the man did while we were gone. I think he was terribly lonely. I'm guessing he just holed up with the dog with fleas, ate microwaved frozen foods and watched old tv shows. And ruined the laundry.
I have reclaimed most of the house - the towels smell all fluffy soft again. The floors have been mopped. I need to try to remember this next summer when I decide to book a three week trip to New York. But I know I won't.