Why are all the tv shows that I like so filled with profanity and inappropriate material that I can't watch them around Jude? It's a real pain in the butt.
Why do I never bring a sweater when I need it...but always bring a sweater when I don't?
Why is everybody suddenly misusing the word "epic"? "That's an epic video game!!!!" Oh really? Is it noting or pertaining to The Iliad? Is it heroic or majestic? Is it of unusually great size? This silliness is bad enough when Jude and his friends us it, but the other day a friend of mine, a middle-aged man who generally knows a thing or two said something like "That movie was epic!!" and it just stunned me. Someone needs to put an end to this.
Why is taking the Lord's name in vain so incredibly satisfying?
Why does Jimmy, after we've lived in our home for 8 years, still not know where things belong in our kitchen?
Why is it that I always think of incredibly important, fascinating and random things that I must look up on my iPhone...during church? I mean really, must I pull out the phone and Google the Benihana menu or the lyrics to that song "Feeling Good" right in the middle of the priests homily?
Why has that stupid "prove you're not a robot" thing when you're leaving comments on people's blogs become so difficult? The blurry numbers? Who can read that? And we still get the spam!
Why does morning come so quickly?
Why is the lane I'm in on the freeway AND the lane I'm in at the grocery store always the slowest? And then, why don't I change lanes to the faster one? I should. But I don't. I just sit there in the slow lane getting mad. Why do I do that?
Why does Jude's room devolve from tidy to disastrous so quickly? We're talking seconds. I mean, the entire room can be perfect and the kid walks in the room, then out of the room...and it's trashed. I don't know how he does it.
Why do all those kids on American Idol sound the same to me?
Why are there four judges on American Idol this year? They know that four is too many. Keith Urban seems like a truly nice and decent man, but...not the sharpest tool in the shed. On the other hand Nicki Minaj seems like a truly nasty and unpleasant woman, but...she has some smart stuff to say. Randy is Randy. And then...I just fast forward through Mariah Carey.
Why do I still watch American Idol anyway?
Why am I so excited about the new Target? They are building a new Target about a half a mile from me, and I am so excited I'm about to bust. I keep driving by to see how the construction has progressed. Can't wait!
Why would anyone think it's an okay thing to floss their teeth in public?
Why do I have my best writing ideas when I'm in the shower? I am often forced to take notes in the steam on the shower door.
Why does our little dog, Fancy, always want to sleep on top of me? I think that on top of Jimmy or Jude would be an excellent place for a dog to sleep. But no.
Why did God give women menopause? I find that most things about our bodies and nature have a certain logic to them; there is method to the madness. But these menopausal symptoms just don't follow any logic to me. I mean, I understand why, after a certain age, women should stop being able to have children. But why the hot flashes? Why the mood swings? To what end? Does God intend to simply torture us? You'd think we would be rewarded for all that bleeding and propagating the species, don't you think? All I can figure is that it's nature's way of making us so nasty and unattractive that no one would possibly want to have sex with us anymore.
Why haven't you joined in the Spin Cycle this week? Go write something quick! Join the fun!
Why don't you be nice and drop by our other "Why" spinners?
Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY!
Arnebya at What Now and Why - NEW on FRIDAY!
Mimi at Magical Mystical Mimi - NEW on SUNDAY!
Next week on The Spin Cycle...
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