Jimmy and Jude sit on the sofa in the living room watching Wheel of Fortune. Gretchen enters, carrying a sheet of paper.
Hey guys, can you pause the tv for a minute?
It's the final spin.
Yes, but just pause it for a minute.
Jimmy and Jude pause the tv. Both look put out.
Thanks. So...I have decided that we should have a little
What's a family meeting?
Well, what do you think it might be, Jude?
A...meeting of a family?
Yes, that is correct.
Yeah, but we've never had a family meeting before.
It's something new.
(impatiently holding the tv remote in his hand)
Okay, so what is it?
Well, as you two may or may not have noticed, I have been
working very hard lately to try to get our home in order for
all of us.
Yeah, we noticed. And we appreciate all your work.
We appreciate you, Mom.
Well, I certainly appreciate being appreciated. But what I
really need is a little help from the two of you to try to keep
things nice. And to that end, I have made a list of things that
you both do that drive me crazy.
She waves the list with a flourish. Jimmy and Jude look concerned.
Alrighty then. Annoying Thing #1 - The wrappers. I am
constantly throwing away old wrappers. You both are always
nibbling on some snack and then you just drop the wrapper
wherever you are, all willy-nilly.
Yes, willy-nilly. Gogurt wrappers, cheese stick wrappers, chocolate
bar wrappers, potato chip bags, those little ice cream cartons.
It's making me crazy!
(gesturing with the remote)
Okay, we do that. What's the next thing.
Annoying Thing #2 - Wet towels on things. There are exactly
two places in our home where a wet towel should be placed. Either
on the towel bar, or over the top of the shower. This is so that they
can dry. They do not belong on the floor. They do not belong on
the bed. They do not belong tossed on a chair. They do not even
belong in the hamper, as they will mildew the other items in the
hamper. Okay? Wet Towels...towel bar.
(she refers to her list)
Annoying Thing #3 - The situation with the bags and
the shoes. You both walk in the door, and drop whatever
you have in your hands on the floor, then kick off your
shoes wherever you are and just leave them there.
Yes. Willy-nilly. I'm sick and tired of putting away backpacks
and gym bags and briefcases and shoes.
But you dump your stuff too.
Sometimes. But then, I put it away. As opposed to you, who
dumps his stuff, and then...I put it away.
I'll try harder with that.
Thank you Jude. Annoying Thing #4 - Nobody ever finishes
a beverage. I couldn't even begin to estimate how many half-full
glasses I find and empty. Water, coffee, sodas, wine. It's all waste,
(really getting worked up now)
If you pour it, you need to drink it.
Yeah, I am bad with that.
Yes you are. Annoying Thing #5 - Even though I am capable
of much, I am not a super human, and cannot see or hear through
walls. So if you decide to talk to me, or show me something from
another room, I can not see or hear it! You must get off your
behinds and walk into the room where I am before asking me the
question, or showing me the funny thing.
That one's not really about keeping the house tidy.
Well, no. But it's very annoying.
(she folds her piece of paper)
I guess that's about it. Our first family meeting is now over.
Don't we get to tell you all the things about you that annoy us?
Because I'm the mother. And I was the one who called the
family meeting in the first place. If you have a grievance to
air, you may call your own family meeting. Thank you both.
I will now go back to making dinner.
Gretchen returns to the kitchen. Jimmy and Jude exchange an eye-roll. Pat Sajak spins the wheel.
Follow up: Wrappers still everywhere, towels still on the floor, bags and shoes still willy-nilly, glasses still half-full of leftover drinks, everybody still talks to me from the other room.
I will be very peeved if you don't check out the other "Pet Peeves" spinners!
Stacy at Stacy Uncorked - NEW on FRIDAY
Kendra at Life in the slow lane - NEW on FRIDAY
Next week on The Spin Cycle...
It's Valentine's Day, y'all! So I thought we'd get all lovey dovey around here.
The power of love. Endless love. What's love got to do with it? Love is a many splendored thing. The best of my love. Whole lotta love. Love me tender. Crazy little thing called love. Love child. All you need is love. Baby love. Baby I love your way. Can't get enough of your love, babe. Dedicated to the one I love. Love will keep us together. Addicted to love. You always hurt the one you love. I will always love you. Love bites.
Write your "love" spin. Post it. Let me know. I'll link it here.
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