I've been busy, busy, busy. (Read in the voice of the mean magician who steals Frosty the Snowman's hat).
Cooking, planning, caroling, carding, egg nog making, baking. Much holiday merriment and business around the Second Blooming house. And it's a miracle I'm actually getting anything done, because I'm so frazzled. My usual Holi-daze.
I blame this for last week's confusion about exactly when the end of the world is expected. Whew, I'm glad I didn't miss it.
For the first time in many years, I managed to avoid having another Great Teacher Gift Debacle. I'm so relieved. Feel free to check out the Great Teacher Gift Debacle of 2011 which involved slicing 32 pounds of onions, and the Great Teacher Gift Debacle of 2010, which involved a buttload of flat pound cakes. This year, I'm pretty pleased with my homemade gift.
Let me preface the rest of this with a story...My Mama's best friend for the last several years of her life, was a very dear, gracious, lovely woman named Gaynell. Every year, Gaynell made everybody her famous mustard. Gaynell's mustard was outrageously good - sweet and spicy and perfect on ham or turkey sandwiches. Crazy good, and like nothing I'd ever had before. I begged Gaynell for her recipe. Everybody begged Gaynell for her recipe. But she would not give it out, it was her "thing". And you know what? She took it to the grave with her. For YEARS, I've been trying to find a recipe so I could recreate Gaynell's mustard.
Well guess what. I found it! Good old Southern Living Magazine came through with a recipe that is as close as anything I've tasted. Just enough sweet and just enough hot. And it's EASY.
So this year, everybody's getting mustard. Who knows, maybe it will become my "thing". But I will share the recipe...
Sweet & Hot Honey Mustard
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups dry mustard
2 cups white vinegar
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 cup honey
Whisk together the sugar and mustard in a heavy 3-quart saucepan. Gradually whisk in the vinegar and eggs until blended.
Cook mustard mixture over medium heat, whisking constantly, about 20 minutes or until smooth and thickened. Remove from heat and whisk in the honey. Cool and store in airtight jars in the refrigerator for up to a month.
Makes 4 cups.
The other night, Jimmy and I were lying in bed watching television. Suddenly Jimmy asked, "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" I asked.
Jimmy sat up and did this movement that if he had been a dog, I'd have called "pricked up his ears". But since he's not a dog, I'll call "listened intently".
"THAT! Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?!" I asked again.
"THAT! It's like a clicking. Or a banging."
Jimmy grabbed the remote and turned the television off. We both sat up, listening.
"Yes!" I said, "I hear it! It's a...tapping or a...knocking."
"That's it!" said Jimmy, "stay here!"
He jumped out of bed, grabbed the candelabra off the dresser and started to creep toward the hall.
"Where is it? Is it somebody trying to break in?!"
Jimmy disappeared into the hall with his weird weapon.
Not one to stay out of a tussle, I jumped up and grabbed...the fancy air freshener bottle. So I could...make the intruder smell like Voluspa Grapefruit and Mint Cuttings. Or something.
I crept out into the hall and heard the noise. A clicking. Or was it a tapping. Or a...dripping.
I went into the bathroom and looked into the bathtub. Drip. Drip. Drip.
"Jimmy, I found it," I called out.
When he entered the bathroom and discovered that the dangerous intruder was...the bathtub faucet dripping, he looked at me and said bluntly "We are a couple of horse's asses."
And it was true.
This is the silliest damned website, but I couldn't stop flipping to picture after picture and giggling. CATS SITTING LIKE HUMANS. For those of you too lazy to click the link, it's filled with many, many pictures of cats...you guessed it...sitting like humans. Like this...
People have been writing these all over Los Angeles. Hysterical!...
Hope you're all having a great week and you're not too stressed.Here's a little funky James Brown Christmas to mellow you out. Go grab an eggnog and enjoy. Then go visit Stacy.