Now, after 20-something years pursuing my mediocre acting career in Los Angeles, I have become fairly jaded about celebrity. I see showbiz types all the time - school, baseball, the grocery store. So it's seldom that I actually get excited to spot somebody. I got super excited when I got to meet Sidney Poitier backstage after a friend's play - he was SO gracious and lovely. I got really ridiculously excited the time I saw Santino from Project Runway in the Starbucks - I actually stalked him for about 5 minutes. And I used to love seeing the entire Major Crimes Unit from The Closer hanging out together drinking coffee in the shopping area near us. But usually, I don't pay much attention.
However...back when I first moved here, I went through a rather silly period during which I would stalk celebrities and steal their trash.
Okay, it wasn't really as bad as that sounds. And it was all Sharon's fault. You've heard me talk about my best friend Sharon (as opposed to my best friend, Kaysie, they're both my best friends, so there). Well, for some reason, that neither of us can now remember, I took to following people around at parties or events, swiping their castoffs and sending them to Sharon. After a while, she had gathered quite an interesting collection.
Though now we can't remember all of the precious items I stole, here are a few of the more interesting...
Ted Danson's Cigarette Butt -
I was at a birthday party for James Burrows (director of Cheers, Frasier, Will & Grace), and at the time, I was a party-smoker. I was standing in the shameful smoking area with a bunch of the cast of Cheers, who pretty much all seemed to smoke, and when Danson put out his smoke, I did a neat little trick and managed to palm his cigarette butt when I was putting my cigarette out in the same ashtray. It was nasty.
Glenn Close's Beer Bottle -
At a party at a bar. I spotted Glenn drinking a beer and became determined to get that bottle. The only problem was that she was nursing that thing FOREVER. Probably at least an hour. By the time she finally finished it, I had enlisted a group of drunken comedy writer guys who thought the whole thing was hysterical, and they ranged themselves around the bar, prepared to scoop the bottle up as soon as she put it down. One of them finally snagged it for me. I think he wanted to ask me out, cause I was kind of cute back then. I probably should have let him - somebody who was an underling comedy writer 20 years ago, is now a multi-millionaire sitcom producer. But alas, I took the bottle and blew him off.
Al Pacino's Breadstick -
I actually had dinner with Pacino. Well, Pacino and about 15 other people. It wasn't exactly intimate. And I don't think I said more than 5 words to the man. But when he got up to leave, I grabbed his left over breadsticks that were in a little plastic wrapper. I had seen him take a bite out of it, so I'm pretty sure his DNA was on it.
Tim Daly's Scribble -
Sharon LOVED Wings, and particularly Tim Daly, so when I worked on the show I just had to grab something for her. I ended up lifting a napkin that Tim had doodled on. And yes, since I worked with the man over the course of months, I could easily have asked him to give me something to send to my friend, but that would have kind of taken the fun out of it, you know?
Maybe Tony Danza's Gum -
I distinctly remember stealing somebody's nasty gum out of a trashcan. Sharon swears it was Tony Danza's. But I don't remember meeting him, so who knows. Sharon, however, has a rather excellent long-term memory, so I'm thinking she might just be right.
I'm afraid that the Celebrity Trash collection has long since been designated just regular trash, and has gone the way of the dump. Considering most everything had been in someone's MOUTH, it was probably where it all belonged.
Maybe I should take up this odd hobby again. Hmmm. Anybody have a celebrity they want me to stalk for them? I'll see what I can do.
Don't leave yet!!
Check out this week's "I'm a Fan" spins...
Jan at Jan's Sushi Bar - getting her Trekkie on!
Patty at Pancakes Gone Awry - NEW on FRIDAY!
Ginny Marie at Lemon Drop Pie - NEW on FRIDAY!
Next week on The Spin Cycle...
Crime and Punishment
Last week, before getting her domain name hijacked, Becky the Suburban Matron had her purse stolen (bad week, right?). Which got me thinking...have you ever been the victim of a crime? Had your house robbed? Car stolen? Wallet lifted? Credit card used? Been mugged? Hit and run?
Or maybe...have you ever been arrested? Done something naughty and been caught? What was the punishment? Were you falsely accused or did you deserve it? Or did you get away with it?
Or maybe you just know a great crime story? We want to hear all the gory details.
Write it. Post it. Let me know. I'll link it.
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