Today, Jude and I are on a plane, headed back to Los Angeles after our 3 week visit with the in-laws. My beloved mother-in-law, Mommy, is, no doubt, sitting alone, eating chocolate, watching General Hospital and crying softly to herself. (Remember to read Mommy in the voice of Edith Bunker) "I sit and I think of aaaaaall the good times. And I cry..."
Mommy is very good at guilt.
And so, in Mommy's honor, I will give you some Random Mommy Thoughts. For last years RTT: Mommy Edition, click HERE.
Mommy leaves Christmas decorations up year round. Evidence...
I have no explanation for this. I just thought you'd like to know it.
The other night, when Jimmy was still here, after a long family dinner, the boys started teasing Mommy about her many gentleman callers during the time when Pop was on hiatus. (For those of you who missed it, Pop left Mommy for another woman known as "That Woman" for 20 years, then came back). She'd had a couple of her vodka tonics, and got so silly! Giggling, blushing. There were, apparently, several single gentlemen who pursued Mommy during this time, but she never succumbed to any of them. I'm not sure if she was pining for Pop to return, or torturing him with her misery and aloneness. Anyway, Jimmy and Tony kept teasing her about one particular man named Andy, who came by all the time. Jimmy always called him "The Kisser" because every time Mommy walked him to the door to say goodbye, he'd make a dive at her, pin her against the wall and try to give her a kiss. Then, after he left, she ran upstairs and rinsed with Listerine and covered herself with Lysol!
Pop sat through all of this reminiscing with a decidedly disapproving look on his face, but you know he totally deserved it, what with "That Woman" and all. I think Mommy LOVED being portrayed as desired by other men. Totally what Pop deserved!
Mommy washes her dishes with a bar of Ivory soap...
This has bewildered me for years. I mean, was this ever something that people actually did? Or is it just Mommy? "It's the way we do it." is the only explanation I've heard.
Mommy was absolutely delighted with all her birthday presents from us and from Tony and Niki. TWO pairs of flashy earrings. Two slutty tops (with short sleeves to cover her arms). Niki found her a necklace with a gem in it that's supposed to calm nervousness. We'll see if it works. Here she is, modeling one of the blouses and the flashy earrings I gave her.
Please notice that she's posing in front of her collection of flashy earrings, which hang on the earring holder I made for her several years ago. Mommy believes that as far as earrings go, the bigger the better. Once, I gave her a pair of lovely, delicate earrings, and she actually hung them on the bottom of a pair of huge hoops "so you can see 'em"!
I have mentioned in the past that Mommy is a complete and total chocoholic. She will eat it for every meal if nobody is looking. About 15 years ago, I made her a Chocolate Pecan Pie, and she totally flipped out. It's her absolute favorite thing in the world. So I've taken to making one for her every time we're here, with strict instructions that it's just for her, no sharing. She will eat that pie for breakfast, lunch, dinner and late night medicinal chocolate snack until it's all gone.
So you can have a little bit of Mommy in your life, here is the recipe. Hope you love it as much as Mommy does...
Mommy's Favorite Chocolate Pecan Pie
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup light corn syrup
1/2 cup dark corn syrup
1/3 cup butter, melted
1 cup pecan halves
6 oz. chocolate chips
1 unbaked pie crust
Beat eggs and sugar. Add syrups, butter and salt. Stir in pecan halves. Sprinkle chocolate chips in the bottom of the pie shell and pour the pecan mixture on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes. Horde in a cool corner and take tiny slices all day long when nobody's looking. Great for breakfast with a cup of decaf. Or eating in bed while watching a video taped episode of General Hospital.
The other day, I saw a quote from Mother Teresa which immediately made me think of Mommy -
"It's not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing."
And that's Mommy. She doesn't do much, but she puts an amazing amount of love in all she does. Think...Mother Teresa with "blonde" hair, a slutty tank top, flashy earrings and medicinal Scotch. Watching General Hospital. And worrying. And eating chocolate.
Okay, that's all the Mommy you get. Please visit Stacy and all the other random thoughts folks!
And one last thing...
It's only two more days of voting on this silly Top SoCal Mom Blogs thing, and I've slipped out of the top ten. Can y'all do me a favor and click the link below, scroll down and vote for me? Thanks SO much!