Oh my. Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my. Sigh......Oh my. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
We kicked Camp Mama off with our Annual Mom/Kids Camping Expedition. This is our third year to head up to Lake Casitas, CA - 12 moms and 28 kids. I just heard the audible gasp. Yes, 28 kids.
I have to tell y'all, camping with the ladies is VERY different from camping with the dudes. Our tents were all very tidy and comfy. We were SOOOOO well organized. We divided into little teams and each took a meal. Everyone lent a hand to everyone else. It was the whole Sister Wife thing. And we're all so generous! Every single woman brought enough snacks and cocktails for everybody. It was a feast. I must say, I enjoy this group of women very much.
Jude also enjoyed his camping excursion very much. He was absolutely filthy the entire time. He ran around in a pack of kids a la The Lord of the Flies. But the main reason he had a wonderful time was...(calm down Gretchen, it was bound to happen soon, deep breath)...girls.
Yes, for the first time in his life, my son seems to have really truly discovered girls.
This is not a good thing. You must understand that half of his DNA were contributed by Jimmy. And thus you must understand my fear and horror. Jimmy was not...a good boy.
This little group of kids that we go camping with are all kids he knows from school. Most of them he's known since preschool. He has not just been in school with them for years, but he has socialized with them a lot, and has been camping with them twice before.
But suddenly this year it was different. He has decided that he finds these girls veeeeeeeeeeeeery interesting.
I guess it started on Monday night. After dinner and smores, he suddenly said to me "Mom, I'd like to invite a girl into our tent." After I picked myself up off the ground, I questioned him. "Well, what exactly do you want to do with the girl when she comes into our tent?" "Nothing. Just show it to her. It's a nice tent. I've never invited a girl into our tent."
Hmmm. Okay, that sounded pretty innocent. So he proceeded to gather his BFF A.J., his friend Nick and two little girls and they all went into our tent. And zipped up the flap. It was dark outside. There seemed to be much giggling. Hmmm again.
They then all moved into A.J.'s tent. Soon there was VERY much giggling. When another mom and I decided to go and check out what the hell they were up to, they all came tumbling out the flap of the tent. Apparently, they had been playing a game called "Rollercoaster", which involved everyone getting under the blankets and rolling around. Rolling, rolling, rolling. Hmmm yet again.
At some point the next day, I couldn't find Jude anywhere. I'd assumed he was with A.J. and Nick in the creek, but when they came to us without him, I decided to track him down. There he was, over at the nearby playground, hanging out with three of the girls. Just kind of standing there talking. And he and this one particular little girl, who I happen to know he has a little crush on, kept...poking each other. You know, kind of flirtatiously. Like pulling each other's pigtails.
My friend Jamie, the mother of one of the girls, walked up to me and asked "What are they doing?" "They seem to just be standing there poking each other," I answered. "Well," Jamie commented dryly, "Now they're poking each other. And someday they'll be poking each other." Yes indeed. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.
As y'all know, if you read my Friday post, I booked a commercial last week, and so I had to leave the camping trip early, on Tuesday night after dinner. I left Jude there with A.J.'s mom, Ronda. So the rest of this story came to me third hand, but here's what I could piece together...
Jude and A.J. invited all of the girls into their tent. It seems that they had some intention of playing...prepare yourself...Spin the Bottle. Which they learned about in Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I'm not exactly sure why they didn't play this game, if it was just that they couldn't find a bottle, or if the girls rebelled, but they did talk the girls into playing...Truth or Dare.
When asked what the truths and dares were, Jude told me that A.J. dared the girl that Jude has a crush on to kiss Jude. Yes, A.J. has already, at the age of 9, perfected his role as wingman. Apparently, there was much giggling and gasping, and A.J. kind of backed down and told the girl that she could just kiss her hand and then put it on Jude's mouth. The little girl, who is a particularly spunky and wonderful child (the boy does have good taste, I must say) proceeded to carefully kiss her palm and then...smack Jude in the head with it! He was titillated.
One of the girls then dared Jude to take down his pants! Which he did, very quickly, revealing a couple of inches of his underpants. I know this, because he demonstrated to me. Very shocking, I'm sure.
I'm really not sure what to do about all of this sudden girl craziness. Probably nothing, I guess. I did give him a brief talk about the need to be respectful with girls, and listen to them if they say they don't want to do something. I also mentioned that "hard to get" is an attractive quality.
But I'm afraid it's the beginning of something worrisome. Please, you mothers of sons, give me advice. Something more useful than "tie him up in the basement".
Oh my, oh my, oh my.