After Mama died in 1993, I spent about a month cleaning out her house. Anybody who has gone through this horrible experience can understand. Anyone who hasn't can't. No matter how sympathetic or empathetic you are, you can't really understand. It's not just the pain of losing your parent, it's a feeling of complete dislocation. Of losing your home.
My parents were gone. My childhood was gone. As an only child, I had no witness to my childhood. And now my place, my home, all the details of my upbringing were disappearing.
But as I sorted through room after room of all of the belongings I grew up surrounded by, all the "things" that made up my childhood, I did make a few amazing wonderful discoveries.
Underneath Mama's bed, I found a box. Just an ordinary box from a department store, the size you'd put a sweater in. But inside, I found a treasure trove. Mama had kept all of her favorite things I had made for her throughout my childhood.
Crayon drawings, poems, Valentines. Letters I'd written to her from Girl Scout camp. A house made out of a small milk carton. A turquoise naugahyde wallet. Earrings made out of bottle caps covered with glitter.
I'd had no idea that she'd kept these things. It was so dear, so...motherly. That she'd kept these silly little things, and held them dear all of those years.
And finding it felt as though I'd been given a gift from her. Tangible proof of a happy, love-filled childhood. Knowing that I'd loved her enough to make all these things for her, and she loved me enough and treasured what I'd given her enough to have kept them in her safe, hidden place.
Of course, I couldn't keep everything. When you're faced with sorting through and dealing with every single belonging which someone has accumulated at the end of their life, you have to get a little cut-throat. Did I, a 32-year old woman, really need 6 Christmas sweaters? The complete works of James Herriot? 15 crystal candy bowls? My grandmother's entire set of Fostoria glassware? Well, yeah, I did need that, but the other stuff, not so much.
And so, most of the treasures in the box went into the bin. But I did manage to save a few of my favorites, two of which I will now share with you. These two were the ones Mama treasured the most, each for a very different reason...
Happy Mother's Day y'all!
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As always, visit each and every one of this week's "Mother" spins!
VandyJ at The Testosterone Three and Me
Nain at View From Down Here - RETURNING to the SPIN CYCLE!
SuziCate at The Water Witch's Daughter - NEW on FRIDAY!
Jan at Jan's Sushi Bar - NEW on FRIDAY!
Jen at Sprite's Keeper - NEW on FRIDAY!
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Next week on The Spin Cycle...
Pictures
I thought I'd follow up last week's "Words" with next week's "Pictures".
Picture Perfect? Picturesque? Picture worth a thousand words? Motion picture? Moving picture?
Write your Picture spin some time this week and let me know you did in a comment here. I'll link you up. Any questions? Click on the "Spin Cycle" tab up top.
See you then.
Share your spin!
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Et voila! Linked!
Hope I can join in! Here's my Spin :-) http://viewfromdownhere-viewfromdownhere.blogspot.com/2012/05/being-momma.html
Such sweet memories...I love the "My Mamma drinks beer." Too cute! Sounds like you had one wonderful Mamma!
Posted by: Alaina | 05/11/2012 at 02:45 AM
This is so precious! It is a wonderful feeling to find or be given things like that your mother held onto for so many years. As a mother I know it's difficult to part with those items...Yes, I have bunches from my kids as well! Here's my Spin http://suzicate.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/aint-no-love-like-the-love-of-mama/
Posted by: SuziCate | 05/11/2012 at 04:13 AM
I started to tear up reading this, because I *have* had to go through Mom's things after she died. We got little of it; her husband turned into an asshole when she passed and kept many of the things she spent her lifetime accumulating - her books, her china and crystal, most of her jewelry. We managed to get some of her clothes and paintings, 3 of which are in my living room to this day.
And speaking of my Mom, my spin is up: http://www.janssushibar.com/?p=13858
Posted by: Jan's Sushi Bar | 05/11/2012 at 05:47 AM
Sigh, I love this! It's like finding a warm hug in a sea of cold. Your mamma was awesome.
Oh, I did a Spin!
http://www.spriteskeeper.com/my_weblog/2012/05/spin-cycle-confessions-of-a-mother.html
Posted by: Sprite's Keeper | 05/11/2012 at 07:09 AM
Oh, I just love that last letter..."My mamma drinks beer." That cracks me up!
As I was going through my mom's things, we found all sorts of treasures; baby teeth and notes we wrote to her. You are right, we just couldn't save it all. But since there are four of us, we were able to split some of the treasures between us. I don't remember if anyone kept the teeth, though!
Posted by: Ginny Marie | 05/11/2012 at 07:35 AM
This reminded me that I need to tell my mom that I love her and appreciate all she does for us.
Moms make the world go round.
Posted by: VandyJ | 05/11/2012 at 07:44 AM
Ha! Your mamma isn't like you because she drinks beer? Can you say the same now?
Posted by: Arnebya | 05/11/2012 at 08:40 AM
Little child writings are the best keepsakes. I still have the ones written by my boys and I'm sure my mother still has hers.
Posted by: Michele | 05/11/2012 at 09:27 AM
That is so sweet that you wrote such nice things and that she kept them treasuring them forever!
Posted by: Kendra | 05/11/2012 at 03:38 PM
What a touching post. I went from almost crying to laughing our loud with the whole drinks beer thing. Thanks!
Posted by: Katherine | 05/11/2012 at 08:59 PM
And, in 30 years what concoction will Jude say you throw down on a Friday (or Saturday or Wednesday or Thursday) night?
Posted by: Daddy | 05/13/2012 at 10:28 PM