Texas Girls

We had such an excellent weekend! My college roommate Lannyl and her darling 12-year old daughter, Georgia, stayed with us for three nights and we had a whirlwind of LA tourist fun!

Lannyl is the original housewife on NYC. She had a pretty big Broadway career back in the '90s (My Favorite Year, Moon Over Buffalo) but took time off when she started having kids. Sounds familiar, right? She now, being the good Texas/Louisiana girl that she is (we love our vehicles), drives her kids back and forth around the island of Manhattan in her hybrid SUV. Jude and I love getting together with them when we're in NYC - Jude kind of hero worships her kids, Michael and Georgia.

I love being with Lannyl. I don't often get to spend time with women who I share my past with. We're cut from the same cloth. Everything's simpatico. We work in tandem and get things done. And man, did we do some stuff!

Friday was a tornado of activity. We stalked the cast of Glee around the Paramount lot, met our UT buddies Wendell and Christi for a gossipy lunch, then took Christi along with us for a drive-by of all the sites we could fit in in one afternoon. From the Hollywood Sign all the way to Malibu then then back again. And then, as if we hadn't done enough that day, we saw another UT friend, Kim, in a play. Whew.

On Saturday, we made our way to Disneyland. It was a great day because it was a little cold and misty, which actually kept all of the crowds away.

Jude and I led the way, and we managed to hit pretty much ALL the highlights of the world  of Disney. Georgia was SO excited.

The whole day was perfect until we got into the girl fight.

What? I didn't mention that? Silly me.

Yes, in Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth, Lannyl and I somehow managed to almost get into a fist fight. Perhaps I should explain...

After making our way around the park, riding ourselves silly, we decided to take a break and catch the 4:00 parade. We found a good spot close to the front, and waited for all the dancing princesses and mice to get there.

Soon after the parade began, I was shoved from behind by a small woman who appeared to be in her 60s. She literally shoved me out of the way, and bulled her way in front of us. No "excuse me" or explanation. We'll call her Rude Woman #1. Lannyl and I were all "How rude!" and "Why I never!" As I said, Lannyl and I are cut from the same cloth, and that cloth could never be described as "street".

A couple of minutes later, another woman, a woman in her 20s or early 30s, we'll call her Rude Woman #2,  squished her way in and stood next to Rude Woman #1. We assumed that #2 was #1's daughter.

"Excuse me." I said "You have cut in front of us, and I can no longer see my child. Could you PLEASE move out of my way." Yes, my reaction to physical confrontation is to turn into the Queen Mum.

RW #1 and RW#2 looked at me as if I smelled particularly bad, and didn't move.

"JUDE!! I'm here honey! I'm back here! These two very, very rude women shoved in front of me and I can't see you. But I'm here!" I cried. "She can no longer see her child!" cried Lannyl.

Finally, after the other people around us asked them to move as well, they kind of hunkered down a little, so I could see my kid.

As soon as the parade was over, and the last dancing chimney sweep chim chiminied away, RW#1 turned around, put her arms up like a linebacker, and started to shove her way back between us.

Now as I said, Lannyl and I are cut from the same cloth, and that cloth is not "street". But we are still Texas women, and even though we may have turned into Queen Mums, we were not going to let these women shove us. I stood up to my full 5'10" and though Lannyl is not as tall as I am, she does have Broadway caliber presence. We both got big. And we both shoved back.

At this point, things are a bit of a blur. I'm pretty sure that Lannyl and I said things like "I think NOT!" and "Well excuse ME!" and "There is no need for THAT!" And the rude women started shoving and pushing us, and then people started shouting, and then there was more pushing and more shouting and then RW #1 started hitting Lannyl with her purse, and Lannyl screamed and threw her hands up to protect herself, which caused her iced tea to squirt up in the air and all over RW #1 and RW #2, who turned tail and ran away.

As they pulled away, I shouted in a rather dramatic way "Clearly, YOU" I thrust my finger toward RW #2 "Learned your manners from HER!" and I pointed to RW #1 with a flourish. Take that!

"Yo, beeotch! Don't you be dissing me and my crew! Don't you be shoving my ass! Sho nuff! I will stand my mutha f&#$in ground! That is mos def! Don't make me come ova there bitch!"

Okay, I didn't really say that part. But I think that my dramatic gesturing and "angry voice" made the point.

All around us, people ran to our defense. It was a bit surreal. Lannyl called for security. Witnesses told us that the RWs had hightailed it out of there.

The Disneyland security was very nice, even if they were a bit useless. I don't think they have many middle-aged women slapdowns. Lannyl actually had a SCRATCH on her neck. They offered to get her medical assistance, but it wasn't really needed. They did take a report. And then they gave us some "use anytime" Fast Passes for Star Tours. Which Lannyl then cleverly parlayed into two more "use anytime" Fast Passes for Space Mountain...

So in the end, a fun time was had by all.

I'm thinking that maybe when we go to NY in the summer we might go to Coney Island together. Let's hope that none of them Brooklyn beeotches mess with us!

Comments

[Jan]

I. ADORE. You.

Once RW#1 started swinging her purse, they'd have had to arrest me, I kid you not. I'm not tall and don't have any kind of presence, but I'm still A Texas Girl. (Wimpy things, afraid of a little iced tea...)

[Arnebya]

I am singing along with Ludacris: Move Bitch, Get Out the Way.

I'm curious, though. Were the women English speakers? Did they speak at all? Some things just don't transfer from various backgrounds and while we'd like to think understand what rude is is universal, it just...isn't. Wait, why am I trying to find a "reason" for their behavior, especially after hitting your friend with a purse (that really pisses me off and makes me think I'd have grabbed it and emptied its contents because beeotch don't be hittin' me).

Man, what I wouldn't give to be able to just up and go to Disneyland. Can we visit? I'll leave the boy home; he'll only slow us up. I can probably only afford one ticket, so the girls will be in my luggage. We'll have to move fast when you meet us at the gate. Child endangerment and all that nonsense.

[Aimee]

You DID go on Space Mtn. for me! THANK you!!

Oh My. I would have given anything to watch the smack-down. I never say anything...I suppose I'm too afraid of the potential fisticuffs. Or, God forbid, offending anyone, including a rude, punk-ass woman.

[W!]

So THIS is what happens when I leave you and Lannyl unattended? Thank God there are certain things in life that do not change. You ladies continue to make me proud.

[VandyJ]

Sounds like you all can take care of yourselves.
Nick is headed to long beach for a convention this month. I don't get to go. We could have gotten together for a drink, so sad. Maybe next time.
My spin is up:
http://tttandme.blogspot.com/2012/04/spin-cycle-birth.html

[Alexandra/The Empress]

I hope you do not take this the wrong way: but I'm crazy like that, too.

IF something is unfair, then it's unfair. People can't just do what they want because they want it.

[Shelby]

Damn, bitch! Remind me not to get in frunna yo ass next time I'm at Disneyland! (and sadly, that shoving in front thing has become something of an epidemic).

[IzzyMom]

I love that you stood up to those women. They're clearly used to pushing people around and doing whatever they want and not getting called out for it. Good for you!