I fear that over the last few years our relationship has changed dramatically, that things between us have become increasingly uncomfortable and strained, and I know that soon you will leave me forever. Before we move into the next and final phase of our relationship, I'd like to take this opportunity to express my feelings, and hopefully, clear the air a bit.
It's hard to believe that we've been together for almost 38 years. Time certainly flies. When you first came to me, I was so very young. I thought you were...exciting. I wanted to tell all my girlfriends about you. I was so proud to have you in my life.
And for most of my life, you've been extremely good to me. Other women complained of their periods, but I had little to say. You were always so dependable. Every 28 days...bang, there you were. I could always count on you. And you caused me very little pain. Maybe one day a month I'd need a dose of Advil, but for the most part...you were never hurtful.
Of course there were many months when I hated you, when you seemed to appear right at the moment I least wanted to see you. And during my dark, infertile days, I actually cried every time you showed up. But there were also many, many...many months throughout my life, especially during those wacky college years, when seeing you caused tears of joy and relief.
For the most part, our relationship was always a happy one. Maybe a little staid and boring. We'd been together for so long, after all. But it was comfortable. Easy.
But now, everything has changed.
You come, you go. I never know when you're going to show up, or how long you're going to stay. Sometimes you'll disappear for months without a word, then show up out of the blue. You're completely irrational and unpredictable. Remember a few months ago? You'd been gone for TWO months, then suddenly one morning, while I'm making my kid's breakfast, I look down and realize that you've decided it's time for me to recreate the pigs-blood-at-the-prom scene from Carrie! NOT cool.
And these no-good friends of yours that you insist on bringing around with you - Hot Flash and Mood Swing. Hot Flash keeps hitting me with the Cruciatus Curse. And Mood Swing drives me crazy! They both seem determined to make my life a living hell. I would really very much appreciate it if you would take them away, and NEVER bring them around again.
If you're leaving me, can't you just leave me now, quickly, and spare me any more drama. I don't understand your need to draw this out and prolong my pain. You keep toying with me, torturing me.
We both know it's over. Just GO. I'd be happy to hand over the last of my box of Playtex Sport tampons (the ones printed with the annoying inspirational catchphrases like "Find your groove and move to it." and "Focus on the positive.") to some other woman who you're still keeping time with.
I'd be happy if you could just leave me with a tiny bit of my dignity still in tact, despite my knowledge that the rest of my life will be one of belly fat and odd hair growth. Osteoporosis and incontinence can't be far away.
I wish you well. Truly. We had some good times, and I'll always remember everything you did for me. As Emily Dickinson said "Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell."
Will I see you again? I guess I'll know in about...26 days. Or not.
Best wishes always,
This was inspired by...
Prompt #5 - Write a love letter to an inanimate object. There are all kinds of love letters.