RTT: The Mommy Edition

I have survived my first week with the in-laws!!! Hurray for me!!

Here are some Random Tuesday Thoughts about life with Mommy, my beloved mother-in-law...

 Here she is at the beach the other day...

 

Notice that she's wearing one of the slutty tank tops she prefers. I feel I must clarify that she is not actually a jogger, like her top says. Not bad for an 82 year old, right? No, I shouldn't prematurely age her, she doesn't turn 82 until Thursday. So...Happy Almost Birthday Mommy!

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Yesterday, Jude turned to Mommy and asked "Grandma, what year was it when you were born?" Mommy answered "I don't remember." I intervened "Jude, it's not polite to ask a lady her age." To which Jude answered, and I quote, "But Grandma, you are really looking great for your age. Look at that face! Those arms!" I swear to God, that's what the child said. Mommy was thrilled.

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This is the trashcan in Mommy's kitchen...

 
 

"But, Gretchen" you say "That looks like a bathroom trashcan, not a kitchen trashcan." Yes, that is because it IS a bathroom trashcan. It holds about 6 cups of garbage, maximum. As you can imagine, this is EXTREMELY inconvenient. The other night, I was cooking dinner for everyone, and during the hour it took me to cook dinner, someone had to take out the trash THREE times. Why is this so? I don't know. I've asked about 100 times, and she won't give me a straight answer.

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This is Mommy's favorite appliance. She calls it "The Turbo"...

 

Please forgive the terrible picture, I was taking it on the sly while everybody was eating dessert. The Turbo is a convection oven, and Mommy cooks everything in it. In fact, she doesn't even know how to turn on her actual oven, but uses it to store her skillets and plastic placemats. About a year ago, The Turbo conked out. Mommy looked EVERYWHERE, but they just don't make The Turbo any more. We even searched "the internets" for her. Nothing. Mommy was in an absolute tizzy. How was she going to make the crumb chicken?! How was she going to make the roasted chicken with the Catalina dressing?! Poor Mommy tried hard to adapt. She attempted cooking in the real oven, but alas, she just couldn't get the hang of it. Things just didn't "come out nice". Luckily, Mommy's best friend, Chris, died a few months ago (okay, it was in no way lucky that Chris died, but...well just go with me here), and when Chris's sons were cleaning out their moms house Mommy suddenly remembered that Chris had a Turbo! So they gave the old Turbo to Mommy, and all is right with the world yet again.

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One of the most puzzling examples of "Mommy Logic" involves the towels in Mommy and Pop's house. Mommy owns probably...35 to 40 bath towels. And only one bathroom. Really. But strangely, the towels are all TINY. Maybe 3 feet long and about a foot and a half wide. They are, in fact, too small to dry the body of an adult human. I always have to use two. You know how people usually wrap a towel around their body and can then walk around wearing a towel? Not here, because the towels are too small to wrap around. Jude can barely wrap one around his scrawny little waist. I asked her once where she found such tiny bath towels, and she said it was hard, but she managed to track them down. It has taken me some time to figure out what I think the reason is for these minute towels. You see, Mommy doesn't believe that a towel can be used more than once. Every time a towel is used, she rushes in and hustles it off to the laundry. Therefore, she must have many, many towels. Unfortunately, her closet space is minimal. So she takes the towels and folds them in a very peculiar and particular way in order to make them all fit on the shelves in the closet, and the only way she can fit all those towels is if they are very, very small. Makes perfect sense, right?

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Last night, I got Mommy talking about what she wistfully refers to as "the past...", and she told me about when she and Pop first started dating. First of all, you need to understand that Mommy and Pop are second cousins. Yes. I know. But they weren't close at all, and after her grandmother died, their families didn't see each other for years. Then, when they were both 16, they saw each other at a family wedding Apparently, he made quite the dashing figure. "I thought he was very good lookin'" And Mommy was very snazzy and lovely, and she said he walked right across the room and asked her to dance. Then at every family wedding for years, he did the same thing. She'd never see him in between events, but as soon as they saw each other at a wedding, he'd ask her to dance right away. This was during WWII, so you can imagine the clothes, and the music the band played - very romantic. Then, when she was about 19, he called her on the phone and asked her out. But something was going on, a relative was in town or something, and she couldn't go, so she told him no. He didn't call again for a year, but then they finally went out on a real date. Soon after that, Pop joined the Army, and went off to fight in the Korean War. And they sent romantic letters back and forth - she'd send him hotsy pictures of herself, and he'd write flowery poems and such.

I loved hearing all this, and today, Mommy is going to pull out a huge bag of old pictures she found in the basement, and we're going to sort through them all. I'm really looking forward to showing Jude pictures of Grandma and Grandpa and Grace when they were young. I sincerely hope he is old enough to appreciate them.

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Back in the early '80s, Mommy was at a bit of a loss. Pop had left for his hiatus (For those of you who don't know the tale, Pop left Mommy for 20 years, and then returned. I tell the story here. You should read it, it's really, really nuts.), the boys had grown up and moved out, and she was alone and lonely. Her life changed when a neighbor needed to find someone to take care of her two little girls while she went back to work. The girls were 2 years old, and 2 months. Mommy decided to give it a try, and started a new adventure in her life, continuing to take care of kids in her home for the next 15 years. Through this time, she took care of probably 8 kids altogether, usually one at a time, and she'd keep them from infancy until they started school. These kids all absolutely adored her. She was Mommy Mary to all of them. And since it didn't look likely that either Jimmy or Tony would provide her with a grandchild (this was, of course, before Jude the miracle), she loved and doted on each of them as if they were her own.

Okay, you remember yesterday's story about Mommy and Grace's conversation about Carol and Carol? Well, that very first little girl she took care of, the 2 year old, was...Carol! And if you go back and scroll through yesterdays comments, you'll see a comment from...the very same Carol! A testament to Mommy's nurturing.

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I will leave you with my favorite Mommy quote of the trip thus far..."You know, I'm a nut job altogether!"

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Okay, those are my Random Mommy Thoughts for today. Please visit Stacy Uncorked for more Random Tuesday Thoughts!

 

Comments

[Kristine]

Oh my word....I read about the adventures of Mommy and I just cringe. My hat's off to you Gretchen...

[Michele]

That's a pretty hot looking 80 year old even though she's a 'nut job altogether'.

[Michele R.]

I have no clue what you wrote after the Mommy picture in her jogger tank top because...her face, shoulders and arms are AMAZING! Love these stories.

[Claire]

Ha! I really enjoyed reading those. Great post today. happy RTT.

[MamaBadger]

These posts just make my day. The Adventures of Mommy. She sounds like a hoot. It's no wonder that Jude has such a great personality growing up around all of you!

[VandyJ]

The "kitchen" garbage just baffles me. My mom is looking for a counter top oven/convection/micro thing, but she need to get more counter space before she can get one.
Mommy is truly one of a kind!

[Christina @RantRaveRoll]

Holy Crap! I can only hope to live to my 80's and I sure do hope I look as good as Mommy.

The Turbo story is hilarious. It kinda reminds me of my mom and her affliction for technology.

[Ane]

I'm glad and envious at the same time that you have such an awesome Mother In Law.. :D My MIL is okay, but... Let's just say I tend to roll my eyes a lot when her back is turned.. LOL! :D

Happy Tuesday! :)

[Harriet]

Wow- 82! She looks great!

Happy RT!

[Jenni]

I love Mommy! And yesterday's conversations had me laughing out loud.

[Aimee]

I adore Mommy from afar!

My in-laws are like that with one-use towels, although theirs are normal-sized. I don't understand it - you've just dried off your CLEAN body. Why only once? The waste of water and energy to wash them all drives me nuts...

[Keely]

I'm kind of afraid of the Turbo.

Happy birthday to Mommy!

[Moncler Outlet]

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