Jude has had a bit of a struggle in school this year.
He loved Kindergarten and First Grade. He woke up each school day, eager to head off and do a little learning. But this year? Not so much. Apparently, Second Grade is when school gets serious. Teachers have…expectations. And I’m afraid that while his first two teachers appreciated Jude’s energy and silliness and inquisitive nature (kind way of saying “asks too damned many questions”), his teacher this year doesn’t seem to. And nowadays it’s not uncommon to hear the boy make tragic statements like “I hate school!”
I like many things about his Second Grade teacher – they do really clever and exciting projects, she reads them super fun books, and she seems to be an extremely kind woman. And Jude really likes her. But she seems to think that little boys should sit quietly in their seats. All the time. Sitting still is not one of Jude’s fortes. Neither is being quiet. He is…busy.
Second Grade is also the year when Jude’s extremely academic school starts handing out letter grades. On his first report card, he received mostly A's, a couple of B's, but a C in…effort. EFFORT! He got an A in Behavior, but a C in effort. This really pissed me off. Because how the hell was he getting all those freakin’ A’s if he wasn’t putting forth effort! Well, apparently “effort” means sitting still in their seats and not talking.
In keeping with the whole apple/falling/tree theory, I too, was a bit of a talkative wiggler. I would get report card after report card with very good academic grades, but iffy behavioral grades, and notes from my teachers saying “Gretchen is a very smart little girl, but I’m afraid she talks too much.”
On his second report card, he managed to bring the effort grade up to a B-. But now he got a C in Math! Which he’d received an A in before! I spoke with his teacher, and she told me that she knew that his Math grade didn’t reflect his knowledge on the subject, and had been brought down because a couple of times he had simply spaced out and not completed math tests. Which she annoyingly insists on calling “assessments”. When did “test” become politically incorrect?
So Jude and I had a bit of a talk. Turns out, he often finds school very boring, and starts to daydream and la-dee-dah, and then doesn’t get his work finished. He says that Tuesdays are his favorite day at school, because that’s when he has his three favorite classes – P.E., Computer Lab, and Spanish. Why he likes Spanish, I have no idea. But he does, and he keeps getting A’s in it.
At his school’s Open House, Jude showed me around his classroom. Arranged along the window ledge was a particularly cool project in which they build three dimensional shapes out of toothpicks and marshmallows. Jude showed them all to me with great interest. “Which one is yours, Jude?” I asked. “Oh, I didn’t get to make one.” “And why is that?” “I don’t know, I guess I was daydreaming or something.” When I looked more closely, I realized that only about 12 kids in the class had been allowed to work on this really fun project.
Now maybe I’m just being devil’s advocate, but doesn’t it seem like the REALLY FUN PROJECT would have been the one to give to ALL the children? ESPECIALLY the ones who are bored and daydreaming? Maybe if he’d been working on the REALLY FUN PROJECT, he wouldn’t have been bored and daydreaming in the first place? I mean, I understand the thought process behind rewarding good behavior, but come on, only 12 kids out of the entire class were being “good” enough to work on this?
I told Jude that I sympathized. I also told him that sometimes, even if we thought school was boring, we still had to work hard, and try out best, and try to make good grades. And there would always be some subjects which we liked better than others, and it’s in those we don’t find as interesting that we have to work even harder.
I went and spoke to his teacher, and to the resource teacher at school. When I think of "resouce teacher" I always think about poor Sherry, a girl I grew up with who was "slow". The resource teacher spent a lot of time with Sherry. But apparently, nowadays resource teachers are different. She went into the classroom and watched Jude a little, and she had a little chat with him. She thinks he's really smart, but is just one of those kids who needs to work extra hard to focus. That he has so many thoughts and ideas that it's hard for him to stick with just one at a time. She had some great ideas of ways to help him, like moving him from the very back of the classroom to the very front. Duh, right? Turns out he's been sitting at the back of the class for almost the entire year. I have no idea why.
But I had an additional thought, something I believe had become a problem. Jude will get something going on in his head, like a game he likes to play, or a tv show he saw, and he'll kind of obsess on it, to the exclusion of other things he should be thinking about. Hmmm. The apple/falling/tree thing yet again.
So we decided to make a bold change in our home. Starting at the beginning of this last quarter of school, Jude was no longer allowed any electronics during the week. No video games. No television. Only on weekends. He is allowed to watch ball games with Daddy. And sometimes we like to sit as a family and watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune while we eat dinner.
He really didn't like this at first. "I'm bored!", "I don't know what to do!" But gradually, he has found things to do. Like really paying attention to his homework. And playing outside. Or playing ball with Dad. He entertains himself. Makes up games and stories.
He's been working twice as hard at school. And he seems much more able to focus.
And guess what? This latest report card? HONORS! Finally. A in Math again. Solid B in Effort. When they called his name at the Honors Assembly, and he went up to get his little "Honors in Academics" certificate, he was beaming.
And I was so proud I could spit.
