Second Blooming

Chillaxin'

More relaxing. A totally la dee dah day.

The day actually started last night. Poor Jimmy is sick with some kind of sore throat/cough/sinus thing/virus. And unfortunately for us all, when Jimmy has this kind of illness, he snores like a freight train. It's absolutely wall-shaking, nerve-rattling, and totally sleep-depriving.

So I banished poor sick Jimmy to Jude's bedroom. Which is really to his own benefit, as when I am waking up every thirty minutes to kick him, he doesn't really get any sleep either, and as he's sick, he particularly needs sleep. So Jimmy was sent to Jude's room early with a shot of NyQuil, and Jude and I snuggled up in the big king bed. Hehehe.

Now to truly appreciate the very snuggliness of my son these days, you have to understand that for Christmas we gave him a particularly cute pair of red footie jammies. It's was a tradition from my childhood that I received a new nightgown every Christmas Eve (and you really should click on the link, because it's an uber-sweet story). And now, every Christmas Eve, Jude gets to open one present, always from Jimmy and me, and it's always pajamas. And sweetly, he really loves this because he knows now that it's a tradition, and I think he senses that it's my way of giving him a gift from my Mama, his Grandmama that he never knew.

He's really super-duper snuggly in these red footie jammies. Embarrassingly, I have been considering purchasing a pair of my own...perhaps these from Target...

 

Are they just too gross? I have always been anti-old maw maw sleepwear, opting for silky nightgowns rather than flannel pajamas. But there's something so sweet and snuggly about snuggling up together with Jude in his sweet, snuggly footie jammies...

Okay, I just freaked myself out with my over-usage of the words sweet, snuggly and footie. Ewwwww.

So anyway, after falling asleep snuggled up with me in spoon formation, Jude woke up at an absolutely acceptable 8:00, and asked if he could go in and play the Wii. I agreed immediately, and went back to sleep. I woke again at...prepare yourself...10:30. Really! I then got myself a cup of coffee, checked to make sure that Jimmy was still in a NyQuil induced slumber, grabbed my laptop and fiddled around on the internet.

For a very long time.

At 12:45, I heard Jimmy rooting around in the bathroom. Then Jude came into the bedroom and said "Mama, I'm hungry."

Hmmm. That's right. It was 12:45 pm, and I had failed to feed my child...at all. Mildly horrified, I asked him what he would like for breakfast. He then excitedly informed me that it was, in fact, brunch, something that he was seldom given. He decided that for brunch, he would like 10 pieces of bacon, and two pieces of French toast. Which I made him. Don't judge me.

After that, I decided that really my child and I ought to do SOMETHING today. So we pulled out his Cub Scouts Wolf Cubs Handbook and went to work. We were, embarrassingly, about three months behind on our requirements. But, while Jimmy headed off to see the doctor, Jude and I banged these suckers out. Know Your Home and Community Achievement - check.

Healthy Body Achievement - almost all checked. We still had to go outside and play catch. And while we were at it, Jude decided to do a little scootering. Santa had given him a new, groovy Razor Spark Scooter, which has wheels that sparkle when you scoot, and has a brake that sends up a cool spray of sparks. So dude!

 

Be Safe at home and on the Street Achievement - check. Cooking and Eating Achievement...

This achievement involves planning and executing a healthful meal for your family. Shockingly, Jude decided that the menu for his meal would be (not tacos or cheeseburgers or pizza) Linguini with Clams. His poor sick Daddy's favorite. Sweet yet again (and he wasn't even wearing those footie jammies).

So we went to the store and bought all the ingredients for Linguini with Clams and Tomatoes. While at the grocery store, I realized that all week, I'd been thinking about those Peppermint Martinis that we had LAST year for Christmas Eve, but didn't this year because because I didn't want anybody to vomit, and decided that it would be quite fun and chillaxish to buy the ingredients and make some for myself. Jimmy would get his clams and his NyQuil, and I would get clams and Peppermint Martinis. Joy!

And so my sweet, snuggly boy made his Daddy Linguini with Clams and Tomatoes for dinner. I did all the chopping. But he did all the washing and measuring and dumping and stirring. He turned on and off the burners on the stove and drained the pasta. He set the table and even folded the napkins in an attractive way.

I must say, it turned out absolutely brilliantly. Jimmy was super impressed, even though right after he finished dinner he was forced to take his shot of NyQuil and go to bed. Alas, he's in our big bed tonight, which banishes Jude and I to his room, with me on the blow-up mattress. But still a better alternative than sleeping with SnoreMan.

Here is a poor iPhone picture of Jimmy and Jude slurping their linguini. Yes, we are at the coffee table. Don't judge me. Again.

 
And I seem to have been greatly enjoying my Peppermint Martinis! What an excellent idea I had!

So before I go and snuggle into my sweet blow-up mattress and watch a couple of Stargate SG-1 episodes from Netflix (and one more small cocktail shaker of Pep Marts) I will leave you with...

Jude's Linguini with Clams and Tomatoes -

1/4 cup olive oil

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 bottle clam juice

1/4 cup white wine

1 1/2 pounds clams

4 or 5 plum tomatoes, chopped

1/2 cup fresh parsley, chopped (about one Gretchen-sized handful or two Jude-sized handfuls)

salt and freshly-ground pepper (this pepper grinding was particularly fun for the 7 year old)

1 lb. linguini

Bring large pot of water to boil. When boiling, add the linguini. Heat olive oil in large stock pot, then add the garlic. Heat for about 30 seconds, then pour in the bottle of clam juice and the wine. Bring to a boil. Dump in the clams. Dump in the tomatoes. Cover tightly and steam for about 9 minutes (about what it takes to boil the linguini al dente) or until all the clams have popped open. Toss on the fresh parsley and add salt and pepper. If you are 7 years old, stop adding pepper when your mother tells you to. Drain the pasta, finding it really funny the way the steam goes up in your nose. Serve to your eagerly waiting sick father with a big smile. Accept huge hug and kiss from aforementioned sick father.

Works For Me Wednesday: Best of 2010

This week, in honor of New Years, Kristen over at We are THAT Family, the mastermind behind...

 

...has asked folks to repost the one post of the year they most want people to read.

I find this kind of thing extremely difficult. I hate playing favorites. I can't even pick a favorite movie or book. It's pretty impossible to pick my favorite of my posts, some of which were very personal and important to me. I'm guessing this is how a mother of many children feels when asked to pick her favorite child.

But this one post from the summer pops out to me as somehow symbolic of my life, of my experience of motherhood, of this "second blooming" of my life, which is pretty much what this whole blog is meant to explore.

So here, from August 19, 2010 is...

102 Degrees

102 degrees.

That was the temperature in Valencia, CA today.

Which is where we were.

At an amusement park.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

At some point I am going to learn my lesson and stop doing this stuff. Or at least I'm going to stop complaining about it. But Jude SO much wanted to go to Six Flags Magic Mountain, it's all he'd talked about for a week, and...

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

I've already taken the boy to the Santa Monica Pier Amusement Park, and Splish Splash Waterpark, and Adventureland, and the top of the Empire State Building.

Oh wait. Did I fail to mention the top of the Empire State Building? Sigh...

I took him to the top of the Empire State Building out of guilt over not taking him into NYC while I was at the BlogHer convention. Here we are...

 

But this Magic Mountain thing, I must say, was really most particularly grueling. This was far above and beyond the usual "taking a bullet of the kid" stuff. This was so miserably, ungodly hot and exhausting, that I honestly don't know when Jimmy and I are going to recover. We're just too damned old for this.

At some point, when we were trudging around Six Flags Magic Mountain, heading from The Jet Stream to The Ninja, I actually think Jimmy may have started to hallucinate from heat exhaustion. He got an odd little smile on his face, and started softly humming "Fly Me To the Moon" to himself.

Sometimes, when Jimmy is truly suffering, he will actually start to almost...enjoy the pain and misery...it's like he's sort of "getting off" on the horror of it all. That's how he managed to quit smoking. He started testing himself to see just how horrible he could feel - how much misery he could endure. And I think that's how he got today. Beyond the point of upset, he had reached a place of calm.

Pretty soon all the 60 mile an hour, 100 degree roller coasters started to run together in our minds. My feet began to swell, the muscles in my legs started to cramp, a hematoma appeared on my knee after riding something called The Gold Rusher, a cut on my hand after...I have no idea what. Then Jimmy wrenched his back on the bumper cars, and we decided that perhaps it was time to leave. But Jude kept shouting "The Log Jammer, The Log Jammer, The Log Jammer!" So we went on The Log Jammer, and everything is a blur after that.

Once we reached Dante's 9th Level of Hell, which was our car, and my little Prius's surprisingly powerful air conditioner kicked in, my mind started to clear a bit. Which was good, since I was driving. During the 40 minute drive home, both Jude and Jimmy fell asleep in the car, and I was left to my thoughts.

And I asked myself...what is this compulsion, this need to take Jude on every adventure he asks for?

Is it that he's an only child, and I fear that he's missing out on something, and I need to make up for it? Is it that for all of my years of childlessness I dreamed of having a little boy to do stuff like this with, and now that I have him I want to appreciate every moment of it? Is it that I'm an older mom, and I don't want him to ever feel that my age got in the way of his enjoyment of his childhood? Is it that I'm an older mom, and know I'm likely to die before his peers' mothers and I want him to be able to look back at a childhood filled with joy and adventure?

Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes.

And maybe there's a part of me... under the sunburn, under the aching muscles, under creaking joints...that thinks it's all...

Fun.

RTT: Christmas Recap 2010

I am relaxed. Really. I swear to God. I can't even remember the last time I felt relaxed. I think it might have been some time in September. I know that some people get post-holiday depression, but for me it's just 100% relief. I've worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and worked and now suddenly it's all done. Not that I don't have endless things that need to be dealt with, but there's nothing really pressing. Nothing that can't be put off.

And everybody around here seems to be a in a good mood. Jimmy's all fat and happy from his feast of fishes. Jude's excited that Santa brought him everything he had wished for. There's no school this week, so we all get to sleep late. Woohoo! Jude and I had a fun, lazy lunch with my friend Laura and her kids. Tomorrow we have another fun, lazy outing planning with another friend and her son.

Sigh....I could get used to this. But unfortunately, I keep waiting for the shit to hit the fan. I hate being a cynic.

____________________________________

The Feast of the Seven Fishes went exceedingly well. Fun was had by all. I was pleased with all my food and everybody gobbled it up. Much champagne and martinis and a truly excellent bourbon. The whole meal took about four hours. The children ate pasta and fish sticks, then settled into our bedroom and watched The Polar Express. Two people actually took short naps between courses.

And this was the first year in a while that we didn't have any ridiculous crises.

Two years ago, Jimmy went out in the morning on Christmas Eve to do some last minute shopping, then called me at noon and informed me that he was in the hospital having a tachycardia attack. But that I shouldn't cancel anything, just" keep making fish like everything was normal". Right. So I was trying to shuck clams and keep Jude from questioning where Daddy had gone, all the while wondering if Jimmy was having a heart attack, and if he'd be in the hospital for all of Christmas. Then, in true Christmas miracle style, his tachycardia stopped about 3:30, they release him about 4:30, and he was home sitting at the head of the table with a martini in his hand by 5:30!

Then last year, one of our excellent guests (who shall remain nameless) somehow managed to guzzle two (mmm...three?) Peppermint Martinis in quick succession upon her arrival at our house, having eaten nothing all day but the Body of Christ, which she had consumed during Christmas Vigil mass right before coming over. She managed to make it through four fishes before spending the rest of Christmas Eve hanging onto our toilet. Her husband was furious because he had to put together THREE bicycles that night by himself. Interestingly, she said that if you were going to throw up any kind of liquor, the Peppermint Martini was an excellent choice because they are as minty fresh coming back up as they were going down. I was strangely flattered because in her drunken mumblings she kept commenting on how very, very clean my toilet was. Mommy would have been proud.

____________________________________

I will share with you two recipes, which both turned out very well.

Dover Sole With Basil Chiffonade -

This is delicious and light and incredibly easy and fast. If you get everything chopped and prepped ahead of time, it takes exactly 10 minutes to cook. Perfect for the Feast of the Seven Fishes, because by the time I get to that Secondi Course I've usually had a few beverages, and it's kind of a miracle it gets cooked at all. The sole this year, by the way, came from a truly excellent fish market in Glendale called Fish King. I highly recommend it. If you can't find sole, any soft, white fish will work.

2 tbsp. butter

2 tbsp. olive oil

2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice

4 Dover sole fillets (6 oz. each)

salt and freshly ground black pepper

1/4 tsp. paprika (as I type this I realize that I totally forgot to put on the paprika on Christmas Eve...mmm...that beverage thing!)

1/2 cup slivered fresh basil leaves

Preheat the broiler. Melt the butter in a small saucepan. Add the olive oil and lemon juice, and cook over low heat for 5 minutes. cover and remove from the heat. Lay the fish fillets on a baking sheet, brush them with a abit of the butter sauce, and sprinkle with salt, pepper and paprika. Broil the fish as close to the heat as possible for 4 minutes. Sprinkle with the fresh basil and the rest of the lemon butter and serve. Makes 4 portions.

Chocolate Espresso Torte

Really, extremely decadent.

2 cups unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch pieces

1 cup plus 2 tbsp. sugar

1 cup plus 2 tbsp. hot espresso coffee (I use decaf so Jimmy doesn't end up with more of  the aforementioned tachycardia!)

12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate, chopped

4 oz. bittersweet chocolate, chopped

6 large eggs - room temperature

6 large egg yolks - room temperature

Position rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 325 degrees. Generously butter an 8-inch Springform pan. Line the bottom with waxed paper, then butter and flour the paper. Melt the 2 cups butter with the sugar and espresso in a heavy saucepan over medium low heat. Stir until sugar dissolves. Add both chocolates, stir until smooth - remove from heat. Whisk all eggs in a large bowl until frothy. Whisk into the chocolate mixture. pour into pan. Place pan on heavy baking sheet. Bake until edges puff and crack slightly but center is not completely set (about 1 hour). Do not over bake. Cool on a rack. Refrigerate overnight. Run a sharp knife around the pan sides and release carefully. Dust the top with powdered sugar. It looks pretty if you cut out little paper shapes (stars or Christmas trees or hearts or whatever) and use them as a stencil.

_____________________________________

On Christmas morning, Jude did something that made me more proud of him than I've ever been about anything he's ever done. I was awakened by him standing next to my bed, singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. Really. Then he said "I wonder if Santa came!" I thank God that somehow, someway, the child has learned priorities. Very, very dear.

_____________________________________

This year, Jimmy and I reached a new plateau in our marriage. A sad, staid, 15 years of marriage kind of plateau. We each gave each other...gift cards for Christmas. Can you think of anything less romantic? Absolutely pathetic.

_____________________________________

On Christmas Day, we always go over to our friends Pat and Debra's house. I once posted a video that Pat made in which he showed how to make lasagna. He's an outrageous cook, and she's pretty damned good herself. It's always another excellent, decadent meal. This year - a first course of homemade tortellini with butter and sage, prime rib, turkey, roasted potatoes, stuffing, whipped sweet potatoes, creamed corn and creamed spinach. And for dessert, Debra's homemade cream puffs. Eek!

Here's Pat explaining what he made last Christmas -

 

___________________________________

After dinner, while I was sitting on the sofa in a semi-catatonic stupor, trying to digest all that beef and cream puff, and sipping on an Italian digestif that Patsy had given me (it tasted a bit medicinal, but was oddly comforting), my old friend Kymi (who I see exactly once a year, every year, at this exact time - we spend the entire Christmas dinner catching up, then swear that we are going to get together lots of times in the new year and get our sons together and then...we never do) told me about her obsession with Lululemon yoga clothes. She swears that they're the most comfortable, practical clothing on the planet, and I trust her on this one. I've become a bit obsessed. They aren't  cheap. But she swears they're so far superior to any other workout clothing that they're worth every penny. And they last forever. I've been searching for a cheap place to buy them, but it doesn't seem to exist. Their closest outlet mall seems to be in stinking Vancouver! What good does that do me? If anybody has any ideas here, let me know.

Okay, I'm tired. All this writing and talk about FOOD has done me in. I have just one more random thought...

South Beach Diet. Thoughts? Anybody? I need something. Of course, exercise and not eating every God-damned thing I see would probably work too.

Run and visit Keely for more Random Tuesday Thoughts. Oh, maybe if I'm really nice to her, she'll take a quick trip to Vancouver and get me cheap yoga pants. You think?

The Feast

My favorite tradition that I've adopted from Jimmy's Sicilian-American family, is the the Feast of the Seven Fishes, their traditional Christmas Eve meal. Course after course of fabulous seafood dishes. Mommy always makes a red sauce filled with enormous Alaskan King crab legs. First she serves a dish of pasta with the simple crab-flavored sauce, then she brings a huge bowl of the crab legs to the table, which have been cooked in the tomato sauce. It's a feeding frenzy. Crazy good! We all end up with crab sauce all over ourselves and the table. I actually started bringing out a bath towel and covering myself with it. She follows this with stuffed flounder and shrimp scampi. I'm drooling just typing this.

According to the family and confirmed by my internet research, the Feast of the Seven Fishes stems from the Sicilian tradition of fasting from meat on the eve of the holy day. But the feast varies greatly from family to family. The whole "seven" fishes thing is pretty loose. I always wondered if this meant seven kinds of fish? Seven kinds of seafood? Seven courses? Apparently, it doesn't matter, you can interpret it however you wish. As long as it's a decadent and opulent feast.

For the past several years, we've been staying in Los Angeles for Christmas Eve, and I've been cooking the feast myself. And I must admit I go a little bit mad with the planning and execution. For a few years, I was cooking five courses, which included seven different kinds of seafood. But this last year, I went CRAZY, and decided to actually cook seven different seafood dishes. This is not easy, people. It's nuts. I realize this. But I just can't help myself, and so I'm doing it again! And we've found a WONDERFUL group of friends who join us every year. Eight grown ups and eight kids. I know that's a lot of children, but I can just feed them fish sticks and spaghetti, then send them off to watch Rudolph in the other room so the grown ups can get to some serious eating. And this group LOVES to eat! They'll try anything! They eat all the weirdo fish - the octopus and the squid. I LOVE feeding people who will eat with gusto!

Here is this year's menu. Some of the recipes are tried and true, and some are new. If you don't hear from me for the next few days, it is because I will be up to my ears in fishes. If any of these dishes of fishes (so Seussian) sound like something you'd like to recreate, let me know in the comments, and I'll post the recipe over the next couple of days. During my cooking breaks. If I get around to it.

Feast of the Seven Fishes '10-

Champagne and Pomegranate Liqueur Cocktails

Appetizer Course (served at the coffee table) -

Lemon-Marinated Shrimp Antipasta

Clams Oreganata

Salad Course (served at table)

Octopus, Calamari and Arugula Salad

Chilled Lobster with Fennel, Citrus and Avocado

Primi -

Linguini Frutti di Mare w/ Crab, Scallops, Shrimp, Clams and Mussels

Secondi -

Baccala alla Vesuviana (Salted Cod with Tomatoes and Capers)

Sole with a Basil Chiffonade

Dessert -

Chocolate Espresso Torte

I'm so excited.

Yes, I know this sounds like a lot of work. But really, much of it is do-ahead. The shrimp app, the Frutti di Mare, the Octopus Salad and the Chocolate Torte can all be made the day before. The Clams Oreganata are a pain in the ass because I have to shuck all the stinking clams, but it's doable. The baccala has to be soaked for 4 days to get all the nasty salt out of it, but that's easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Okay, I'm off to iron the linens and pull out the Spode Christmas china. Let me know which recipes you want me to share.

Buon Natale!

RTT: The Christmas Edition

Lots and lots of thoughts. Mostly Christmas related. Therefore they aren't technically random, but whatever...

Two years ago, I finally broke down and purchased something that I'd always sworn I'd never purchase. An artificial tree. It came after years of arguing with Jimmy about the needles and the hassle and the fire hazard and the expense. I finally cracked and gave in. I'd always HATED artificial trees. Aside from the fact that they're FAKE and smell of plastic instead of, you know, CHRISTMAS, they're also just so...old fogeyish. Everyone's grandmother eventually switched to the artificial tree, and they'd always talk on and on about it "It's so simple. No muss, no fuss!" And worst of all "It looks so realistic!" Which, of course, it never did. Ever. It always looks like a big plastic tree. But I have to say that this Martha Stewart K-Mart tree that I bought really does loom realistic. I swear. I mean, until you get really close to it. And it's very clean. And easy. So I've come to feel okay about it. Not exactly LIKE the thing, but I don't hate it either.

And now, suddenly, I have made a discovery that has changed my entire attitude about the dreaded artificial tree. Buying  a cut-fresh Christmas tree is no longer politically correct! A friend of mine's kids actually got a lecture at school about the evils of killing a tree for your family's personal pleasure.  So now, I'm not an old maw maw. I'm an eco-obsessed, left-wing, self-righteous know-it-all. Much better.

________________________________

 I don't know. "Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow" would probably scare me silly.

________________________________

What's the deal with the Christmas Artichoke? I keep seeing Christmas decorations which feature the artichoke. Here's one from the HomeGoods the other day...

 
Someone please explain.

__________________________________

On Saturday at the 5:30 mass at church (I wasn't there, damn, I always miss the fun stuff) they were in the middle of singing the "Holy, Holy, Holy", when suddenly over the sound system blasted some dude singing "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...". Apparently, somebody in the neighborhood was singing karaoke Christmas carols on a wireless microphone, and our church sound system picked it up! Then it happened again just after communion "Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock..." Hysterical. Everybody in the church is looking around, thinking that some crazed caroler has made their way into the choir loft!

__________________________________

And speaking of church and choir and stuff...the other day during choir practice, we were working on some carols. Often, at the end of a piece of music which we've been singing in parts, the soprano and alto parts will come together on the last note of the song. We altos often drop down to another note in the chord, just to make the harmony richer. So we were singing Joy to the World, or whatever, and at the end we just naturally dropped down to the lower note. And I asked Joe, our new choral director, in a rather loud voice "Can we go down? We like to go down." Immediately after I said this, my friend Gwen and I realized the rather naughty thing I'd said, and started to giggle uncontrollably. Embarrassingly enough, so did Joe!

__________________________________

Okay. I'm still on my eggnog craze. But I've almost finished the last bottle, so the end is near. I'm rationing myself so I don't run out before Christmas. It's difficult, because I want to guzzle. But I'm being very, very good. I have now found a special glass for my eggnog. My special eggnog glass. Which just makes it even creepier. If possible.

___________________________________

 Jude's teacher this year is from Austin, Texas - just like me! For the past couple of weeks, she's had her teenage cousin visiting, who's been acting as an aide in the classroom. On the last day of school before Christmas break, this guest teacher girl passed out to each of the kids a little something she'd brought from home. A Texas Chewie Pecan Praline from Lammes Candies in Austin.

 

Jude, I'm afraid, had no interest in it (he's purely a chocolate man), so he handed it to me. Oh my God! It was an absolutely sensoral flashback to Christmas from my childhood. Every year, somebody would give Daddy a box of Texas Chewie Pecan Pralines as a Christmas gift, and Mama and I ADORED them. We'd savor each chewy, buttery bite. AH! Isn't it amazing how one, random little gift can bring such pleasure!

_____________________________________

 Now that I'm all sentimental for Texas Christmases, I'll share with you my favorite Texas Christmas song. Robert Earl Keene is a Texas music icon, though he's little-known anywhere else in the country. The lyrics of this song are hilarious and brilliant. Ignore the stupid music video if you can, just focus on Robert E.K.'s cute smirk and the words of the song. Must say this reminds me so much of Christmas with my first husband's family in Garland, TX that I can't stand it! Enjoy...

 

 

 

 

Digital Nativity

I absolutely love this!

 

The Great Teacher Gift Debacle of '10

Luckily, at Jude's little school the whole "teacher gift" thing is pretty low pressure. A collection is taken from the entire school, and the money is divvied up between all the teachers evenly. Anyone can pitch in however much they feel they can afford, and believe me, some of these people can afford a butt load. Us? Not so much. But we do what we can. (Is butt load one or two words, or is it hyphenated? Butt load, buttload, butt-load? This is the kind of thing that will worry me for days.)

But then...everybody ends up giving each teacher just a little something extra on their own. Just because you're supposed to. Which is probably stupid, and unnecessary, but some tiny part of my mother which lives deep inside me insists upon doing it because it's just what people from "good families" do. For some of the "afford a butt load" folks, the "little something extra" is something nicer than I will get from my husband this year. But for me, it really is a "little something". Last year, I made homemade Bourbon Chocolate Sauce, and the year before it was orange marmalade made from the oranges from our yard. And you know what? The teachers are always very appreciative and kind.

This year I wanted to do a little baking, and after some hemming and hawing, decided to make Rum-Doused Lemon Poppyseed Cakes. It's a recipe I've made for years, and it's delicious. It's supposed to be a Bundt cake, but I decided that I'd divide each recipe in half in two loaf pans, and make little pound cakes.Sounds like an easy plan, right?

I headed to the store and bought enough ingredients to make 5 times the recipe, which I figured would make 10 little loaf pans of cake, one for each of his teachers (art, music, p.e., yada, yada, yada) plus one for all the nuns and the secretary, and a couple for the neighbors. I was going to make one recipe at a time, because I think that multiplying baking recipes always screws them up, and then baking two little loafs at a time. But no problem, I'd devoted the day to baking and present wrapping.

I begin. The first two loafs go in the oven. 375 degrees for 55 minutes. Great. They come out...

 
...burnt. And strangely flat. But I was so concerned about the burnt thing that I didn't really take in the flat thing. Actually, they were burned on the outside and rare in the middle. Clearly the oven was too hot. I assumed the problem was either that I was cooking two small cakes instead of one large on, or that I was using glass loaf pans.

I lowered the heat to 350 and put in another pair of loaves...

 
...not burnt. But alas, very flat. And apologies for the terrible picture.

Mystified, I checked the box of baking powder. "Best if used before August 2004". Sigh...

I didn't want to have to go all the way to the damned store for one stinking ingredient. But wait! I had baking soda. Perhaps I could make a substitution. Google...let's see...yes! I could make my own baking powder by mixing one part baking soda with two parts Cream of Tartar. Love it! I did it. Problem solved. Went for another batch...

 
Now they were not only flat, there was an actual sinkhole in the middle. A ravine, a gully.

At which point any normal human being would GO TO THE DAMNED STORE AND BUY MORE DAMNED BAKING POWDER. But no. Not me. Undaunted, I decided to try one more time, going back to the old, expired baking powder, and using twice as much. The result was...flat.

In the end, of course, I was forced to go to the stinking store and buy all new ingredients and start all over again. And finally they turned out very well. But now, I have all these terrible-looking cakes that I don't know what to do with. They taste good (I mean, they're doused with rum, what's not to taste good), they just look awful. I was thinking of cutting them up and using them in a trifle. Maybe Lemon Poppyseed Rum Trifle?          

Right now they're in my freezer because I stubbornly refuse to just throw them away. Ideas? Anybody want a slightly flat pound cake?

And just because I can, here's the recipe. Make sure you check the expiration date on your baking powder before you start. 

Rum-Doused Lemon Poppy Seed Cake                                                      

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

4 oz. cream cheese, softened

1 3/4 cups sugar

3 large eggs

1 tbsp. grated lemon rind

1 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp. baking powder

2 tbsp. poppy seeds

1/4 cup light rum

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Grease a 10-inch tube pan or Bundt pan very well. Beat together the butter and cream cheese until well-blended, then beat in the sugar, eggs and lemon rind, beating until the mixture is light and fluffy. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour and the baking powder, then beat this into the butter mixture. Stir in the poppy seeds. Spoon batter into the prepared pan and bake until the cake is light golden brown and springs back firmly when pressed, 55 to 60 minutes. Cool for 15 minutes in the pan, then invert onto a wire rack to cool. Drizzle the rum over the cake a little at a time, allowing it to be absorbed by the cake before drizzling on more. Transfer to cake pan, cover and let stand at least 2 or 3 hours before serving. 

Inappropriate Christmas Joke #1

It was the night before Christmas, and Santa was stressing out.

Three of the elves were out sick with the flu (so they said...) and the ones he'd hired from the elf temp service were poorly trained, so toy production had been running behind all week.

And Mrs. Claus had suddenly announced that her mother was coming to visit for an "extended stay", which meant at least a month. A month during which he could never just walk around the house in his underwear or curse, and everything he did wrong would be criticized in a duet. Just what he needed during his busy season!

When it was time to harness the reindeer, none of them would cooperate. They were all over-excited about their big flight, and were being poor listeners. So it took him twice as long as usual to get them to quiet down and stand nicely in their rows.

Then, he needed to load his bag of toys, but all the elves had mysteriously disappeared just when he needed them. Typical. So he was forced to drag the enormous bag onto the sleigh all by himself, throwing out his back in the process. Just as he managed to get the bag onto the sleigh, one of the floorboards broke, and about half the toys spilled out. He knew he should have replace that damned floorboard, but had hoped it would last just one more flight. Sigh...

Exhausted, Santa went inside to pour himself a nice cider with a healthy shot of rum in it (for medicinal purposes of course). But when he reached the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had consumed all the rum (which explained their mysterious absence). In his frustration, he dropped the empty rum bottle, which shattered all over the kitchen floor. Mrs. Claus and her mother came in, saw the broken rum bottle, shook their heads in disgust and left, making a unison "tsk, tsk, tsk" sound, and Santa was forced to clean up all the glass shards by himself.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Santa waited for one of the elves to answer it, but of course the elves were all off drunk somewhere, so he answered the door himself.

There in the doorway stood a little, sweet-faced angel, holding a very large Christmas tree.

In a loud, chipper, enthusiastic voice the angel said "MERRY CHRISTMAS SANTA! ISN'T THIS THE HAPPIEST, VERY MOST HAPPIEST DAY OF THE YEAR? LOOK WHAT I HAVE BROUGHT FOR YOU! A BEAUTIFUL CHRISTMAS TREE! WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO STICK IT?

And thus began the tradition of a little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

(Rimshot.)

Perk

A perk! I was sent a perk! And let me tell you I don't get many perks around here, so this was exciting!

BlogHer and HomeGoods partnered up and sent all of us BlogHer Bloggers a $25 HomeGoods Gift Card. Nice! Don't you think it's fitting that BlogHer and HomeGoods PartneredUp because TheyBoth do ThatThing with the CapitalizedWords PushedTogether?

Anyway, the theme of the whole promotion is "Holiday Gifts for Under $25" and we were all strongly encouraged to head off to the closest HomeGoods, shop our little hearts out and then blog about our shopping experiences. And since I am nothing if not obliging, I will!

I have to admit, that while I have auditioned for a couple of commercials for them, I have never actually shopped at HomeGoods. In fact, I didn't even know where there was one. A quick internet search told me that the closest one to me is in Glendale, CA, which completely explained to me why I hadn't ever been there. I have this odd idea in my head that Glendale is a faraway city, deep in the valley, a distant, mysterious city of the East, which I am hesitant to venture into. But according to Mapquest, the HomeGoods is exactly 4.46 miles from my house. Heh.

My sister-in-law, the amazing Niki, had told me that Mommy really wanted a new, snuggly throw for the den. Mommy's den being one of those add-on rooms that is always either freezing or boiling, depending on the season, and she likes to wrap up in something warm when she watches her General Hospital.

So when I got to the HomeGoods, I headed straight to the "throws" department and voila...

Okay, the picture doesn't do it justice. It's really soft and pretty and well-made. And while this brown isn't necessarily the color I'd have chosen for myself, it's what Mommy wanted, and it will match the sofa in the den perfectly. And it cost $24.99! I love a good theme!

Mommy will love it. I was going to say "Don't tell her I got her present for free!", but then I realized that to Mommy, nothing makes her more excited than getting a really good deal.

The HomeGoods turns out to be a pretty nice store. All kinds of goods for the home. Well-ordered. Employees who actually knew things. I'd say it is nicer than Target but not as fancy as Pottery Barn. I managed to wander around for about an hour.

And of course, mmm, buy some other things, over and above my $25 gift card, which I'm sure was kind of the point.

First I found this cute owl tree ornament...

 
So dear, and one of our favorite Christmas books, Asleep in the Stable is about a baby owl who lives in the manger. The only problem was that it didn't have a price tag on it. So the very helpful saleswoman told me I could take this ornament...

 
... that was the same price up to the checkout, so the checker would know how much my little owl was. But then I became a bit attached to that cute little penguin and had to buy him too. Sigh.

The HomeGoods had lots of really nice ornaments and Christmas decorations. None of which I took any pictures of. I could not, however, resist photographing some of the less appealing items.

The gayest Nutcracker I've ever seen...

 
One of the ugliest styrofoam Christmas decorations ever...

 
and of course, a traditional Christmas ambulance...

 

But all in all, I definitely recommend the HomeGoods, and I will be back, even without my $25 gift card!

RTT: Jumbotron, Hockey Mom and Judy

I am feeling very, very random today. About a billion, gazillion thoughts bouncing around my head. It is my typical, annual holi-daze. So it's excellent that today is...

I have now purchased...TWO Christmas presents. This is not the progress I had wished for. I have, however, managed to coerce a picture out of Jude, and order the Christmas cards, not an easy feat. The child absolutely WILL NOT pose for a picture. I have to cajole and tease and beg. I finally got these three Hipstamatic shots, and since I don't like any of them completely, I'm using all three on the card...

 
 
 
I'm hoping it will come off as artsy and fun, not that I simply can't get my kid to sit still and smile damn it.

__________________________________

And while I'm forcing you all to look at pictures of my silly child, check this out...

 
It's Jude on the Jumbotron at Staples Center! Cool!

What? You can't see him? Jeez, y'all are pains...

 
...he's right there, on the front row - the one with long pants and the red vest. Oh I know, it's impossible. But trust me it was him. Remember when he was crazy with his Cub Scout popcorn selling? Well, his pack sold more popcorn than any other pack in the entire city of Los Angeles! And Jude was the third highest salesman! So the top selling boys got to go to an LA Kings game and they were introduced to everyone! Very exciting! Thank you to all of you who helped him by buying popcorn! Okay, that's enough exclaimation points!

___________________________________

I am hereby a hockey fan! (oh sorry, I said no more explaimation points) I had never been to a hockey game in my life and MAN that was fun. Who knew? Action, excitement, speed, beer, cute guys on skates beating the hell out of each other. What more could you want out of a sport? I am SOLD. All these years, I've been listening to my Canadian and Yankee friends yapping on about hockey, and I have stayed true to my Texas football roots. But I don't know. I may have to start keeping up with the hockey. And Jude and his little Cub Scout friends were loving it too. You should have seen these little guys hopping around and screaming their lungs out everytime a fight erupted. There was testosterone bouncing off the walls of that place!

___________________________________

Saturday night, while Jude and I were at the aforementioned King's game, Jimmy went out to a club to see his cousin sing with her friend's husband's band. I'm afraid we're too damned old for this. The band didn't go on until 11:00, and Jimmy didn't roll home until 1:30! Sunday morning? He was hurting. And he didn't even drink too much. Jude and I got up and went to church, and when we got home at 1:00 he was still in bed! Jude walked into the bedroom and announced to Jimmy in a totally sarcastic way "Dad. If you sleep any longer, you'll become nocturnal." Then he walked out. Couldn't have said it better myself.

___________________________________

My Christmas song this week is a killer. I'm telling you, it kills me. Really. Judy Garland had a breathtaking ability to feel a song deeply, and express every bit of pain and anguish and love through her voice. And her eyes. She was an extremely underrated actress.

 

Sniff...Judy, Judy, Judy.

__________________________________

Okay, please press the above lilac button and visit Keely and other randomizers!