Spin Cycle: Name That Movie

Movie quotes are a way of life around our house. Jude and I live our lives afloat in a sea of movie quotes, which wash over us constantly, whether we like it or not.

You see, Jimmy is something of an idiot savant (hmm, was that a nice thing to call my husband? No?). He's completely unable to tell you where his wallet, cell phone or reading glasses are at any time of the day, but he can repeat verbatim every line from about 600 movies. His forte is Movies of the 70's, but he also knows every movie of Brando, Pacino, De Niro, James Dean, The Beatles, Abbott and Costello and the Three Stooges, as well as a number of obscure horror movies from the '50's, The Honeymooners and all the George Reeves Superman TV episodes. Jimmy's brother, Tony, is exactly the same way. I can't imagine what their household must have been like growing up.

Jimmy doesn't just know these quotes, he works them into conversation on a daily basis. They just ooze out of him constantly. And what's more, he expects me to recognize them immediately. I'm often stumped -

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Jimmy walks into the living room. 

Jimmy

You're a funny guy - but looks aren't everything.

Jimmy gives Gretchen a gesture like he's expecting her to say something.

Gretchen

(with deer in the headlights look) 

Uh. Uh. Goodfellas!

Jimmy

(extremely disappointed)

No.

Gretchen

Uh...shit...uh...Dog Day Afternoon. NO! French Connection!

Jimmy sighs deeply. Gretchen is clearly the stupidest human being in the Planet Earth.

Jimmy

Taxi Driver.

Jimmy walks away, wearily shaking his head.

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This happens ALL the time. It helps when the line involves an accent, or a distinct voice that Jimmy will do an impression of. Then at least I can make a reasonable guess. For instance, if he's speaking in a distinctly Liverpudlian accent, he's probably a Beatle, or if he sounds like a Cuban gangster, it's from Scarface. But often, I'm at a loss. And I stumble into these things constantly...

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Jimmy makes a random joke. Gretchen laughs.

Gretchen

That's funny.

Jimmy rises slowly and menacingly from his seat.

Jimmy

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Gretchen

(sheepishly)

Taxi Driver?

Jimmy

(deeply saddened by his choice of wife)

No. THIS was Goodfellas.

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Often, I am forced to participate, and am usually criticized by my poor performance.

___________________________________________

Gretchen is cooking dinner. Jimmy walks in.

Jimmy/Jake La Motta

Is it done?

Gretchen

(not knowing that Jimmy is Jake La Motta)

Almost...about ten more minutes.

Jimmy

(whispering)

No. You say..."No, it's not done."

Gretchen

(sighs heavily, but cooperates)

No, it's not done.

Jimmy/Jake La Motta

 Don't overcook it. You overcook it, it's no good. It defeats its own purpose.

Jimmy exits, happy. Gretchen sighs heavily again.

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Sometimes my participation is unwitting...

Gretchen

  Hey Honey, do you have an audition today?

Jimmy/Michael Corleone

  Don't ask me about my business, Kay.

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Gretchen and one of her girlfriends is sitting in the living room enjoying a glass of wine and some "girl time". Jimmy/Stanley Kowalski enters.

Jimmy/Stanley Kowalski

 Those kind of words have been on your tongue and your sister's tongue just too much around here. What do you think you are? A pair of queens? Now just remember what Huey Long said - that every man's a king - and I'm the King around here, and don't you forget it.

Jimmy exits. Gretchen rolls her eyes. Gretchen's friend is baffled.

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I'm afraid that for Jimmy, one of the joys of parenthood is enlisting his child is this silly quotes game. I knew I was in trouble when Jude was about 4, and Jimmy called me into the living room to watch the new thing he'd taught the kid. Jude proceeded to throw himself on his knees, rip his undershirt and scream at the top of his lungs "Hey! STELLA!!!!"

A common Jimmy/Jude bit -

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Jimmy/Moe

That's right boys, let's go fishing.

Jude/Larry

You know, they say fish is very good brain food.

Jimmy/Moe

Well in that case, you should eat a whale!

Followed by much slapping, poking of the eyes and "nyuck, nyuck, nyuck"ing.

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Another favorite -

Jude/James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause

(dramatically)

You're tearing me apart!!!

Jimmy/James Dean's Mother in Rebel Without a Cause

What?

Jude/James Dean

You, you say one thing, he says another, and everybody changes back again!

Jimmy/Mother

That's a fine way to behave!

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A few months ago, Jude and I went to see "The Fantastic Mr. Fox". In the middle of the movie, the fox parents are fighting, and the little opossum guy yells the above lines at them. Jude and I turned to each other in the middle of the movie and shouted "Rebel Without a Cause"!, thus making Jude the only 6-year old on the planet who got Wes Anderson's really obscure homage.

Occasionally, Jude shocks us both by coming up with them on his own... 

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Jimmy looks up at the full moon and cringes dramatically a la Lon Chaney.

Jimmy/Wolf Man

Every night when the moon is full, I turn into a wolf.

Jude/Lou Costello in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein 

(without missing a beat)

You and twenty million other guys!

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While all this constant silliness can be trying, it has also been fun. And once, quite touching. Jimmy and I were in the grocery store and suddenly he spotted an older man shopping with his wife. He ran up behind the man and said "I know, I've already arranged a transfer for ya'." The man turned around, stunned. Turns out this man was a character actor who had played the District Attorney in "Serpico". Jimmy, of course, knew every one of his lines. The older actor was blown away. After we moved on through the store, shopping, the man's wife caught up with us in tears "You have made his year. He never thinks anybody remembers him. Thank you SO much!"

I'm afraid I continue to disappoint poor Jimmy. But every now and then, I get one right, and sometimes, I'll even come up with one on my own.

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Gretchen gives a plate of pasta for dinner. Jimmy tastes it excitedly.

Jimmy

This spaghetti is great, honey.

Gretchen turns slowly, shaking her head with a low laugh.

Gretchen/Felix Unger

It's not spaghetti, it's linguini.

Jimmy/Oscar Madison picks up his plate of linguini and pretends to hurl it against the kitchen wall.

Jimmy/Oscar Madison

Now it's garbage.

Jimmy smiles proudly at his wife and gives her a high five as she walks back into the kitchen.

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Please visit Sprite's Keeper for more of this weeks Spin Cycle: Quotes.

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Wow. I love this post and what it says about your relationship with your husband -- warm and filled with humor and mutual love -- (what is it with men and those gangster movies?)

[Diane]

Oh my goodness, this is hysterical. What a challenge to keep up! I just had to laugh at the Streetcar performance that stumped your friend. And then he just walked out of the room? Too too funny.

Hmmm, I'm just imagining here, fast forward 4-5 years when Jude is 9 or 10 and is able to play along with his dad. What will that be like?

[Jan]

In our house, I am Jimmy and Beloved is Gretchen - and he does not do as good a job as you. Now, I have a field day with Oldest Son, because he's just as nerdy as me with quotes:

Oldest Son: So, what are y’all doing today?

Me: Not much. We may watch a movie later.

Oldest Son: Oh, yeah? What movie?

Me: I dunno. Beloved said something about Paint Your Wagon.

Oldest Son: Paint Your Wagon? Never heard of it.

Me: It’s a musical. From the 60s.

Oldest Son: Anyone in it I’ve heard of?

Me: Yeah, Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood.

(*crickets chirping*)

Oldest Son: A musical.

Me: Yeah.

Oldest Son: With Clint Eastwood.

Me: Yup.

(*more crickets chirping*)

Oldest Son: With singing and dancing.

Me: Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve watched it, so I can’t say for sure that Clint is dancing, but he does sing.

(*the crickets are getting loud*)

Oldest Son: So, you wanna ask yourself - can you hit “high C”? Well, can you...Punk?

[Sprite's Keeper]

I wish I knew those movies better, but I can quote every Disney Princess movie as if I had written the scripts myself. Ask me how I know. Go ahead. ASK ME. You're linked!

[Sarah at themommylogues]

Sadly, most of our quotes come from Friends. And the new one that has cropped up with the girls:

Me in the morning on the way to school: "Grab your backpack."
Girls: "Let's go! Jump in - vamanos! You can lead the wa-hay, HEY HEY!"

I thought we were done with Dora. And her yelling.

[The Red C]

Send Jude over to our house, with a constant runing repitoire of Star Wars-isms, including R2-D2 beeps and Nick's amazingly good Chewbacca impression. Excuses for not getting stuff done get the standard Jabba the Hutt response: "Chack macku pissay, So-Lo."

Also big are quotes from Quentin Tarantino, Bruce Lee and Coen Brothers movies, or anything else (like Scarface & Good Fellas or The Godfather) that involve a lot of guns and violence - which might be LESS kid appropriate? Let's not forget the Brat Pack movies...

After a long exchange involving "Beeeen-deeeer!" the other night, Cassidy (annoyed) told us "You people are CRAZY!" to which I of course responded "Look, Dave, I can see you are really upset about this." "My name IS NOT DAVE!!!"

I can't help myself. My mom used to write the daily trivia question for Paramount Studios website, and I grew up in a household for whom Turner Classic Movies and AMC were specifically invented. One of my favorite ways to spend a Sunday morning is watching "really old movies before they had colors" with the girls and seeing them enjoy things like old musicals ("that guy looks like he should be his girlfriend's dad but he sure is a good dancer!" (Fred Astaire/Judy Garland in Easter Parade).

Once in a while I get a funny look for too esoteric a reference.

Mom: "Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!"
Daughter #1:"Mom, that's not my name."

Mom: "There can only be one (in a funny voice)."
Daughter #2: "Only one what, mommy?"

Daughter #1: "If I eat all my dinner, can I have dessert?"
Mom: "Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars."
Daughter #1:"Moooommmm!!! That's NOT MY NAME!!! So, do I get dessert or not?!?"

[Mama Badger]

Ahhh, this is great. I don't do movie quotes very well, either. Give me a song lyric and I can give you the rest of the song, but movies frequently stump me. Jimmy would be disappointed.

[Aimee @ In THIS Life]

This whole post has me smiling. Our quotes are from different movies, but they're an integral part of my daily conversation with both my husband and my sister.

Probably the most common between DH and me: "Where you at, Desmondo?" (Typically via cell phone. Translation: Have you left work/book club/the store/swimming lessons yet?)

Jan - OMG, the High C quote has me rolling!!!

[Ginny Marie]

My husband doesn't watch movies, but he'll want me to sing along with him when we listen to the radio...to Styx, Rush, and the odd band from the '70s I've never heard of. He's very disappointed when I can't deliver!

[VandyJ]

The question around our house about the singing of Clint Eastwood is whether he is worse than Peirce Brosnan in Mama Mia.

Our conversations are littered with movie quotes--mostly eighties stuff though.

[Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)]

If I ever had to name what a quote was from I definitely would fail. I'm always getting names of the actors who played in a movie mixed up so I'd probably give a name that is close but not quite right (Good Melons... instead of Good Fellas).

Thanks for letting us be a fly on the wall and overhearing some great dialogs.

[Julie at MDMA]

My favorite spin of the week! I don't get tested as often as you do but the tests are HARD because my husband is 7 years younger than I am ... which doesn't seem like a lot but for movies and music, they're like dog years. My quotes range all the way back to Bogey/Bacall, Hepburn/Tracy, Astaire/Rogers. He dwells in Star Wars/48 Hours/Trading Places ... we should have taken a compatibility test!

Great spin!

[Air force one]

How valuable for me, believe that it will attract lot of people's love.