I'm trying out a new blog carnival thingy today, The Friday Confessional, hosted by Glamazon. Please run over there and read lots of other juicy confessions.
As a Catholic, something about the whole confession thing sort of appeals to me. So..."Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..."
I'm secretly addicted to America's Next Top Model. I love it when all those bitchy girls get all "ghetto" and "talk smack" about each other. It's just so...unseemly, and...trashy. I love it. It's so completely unlike anything I've ever experienced in my own life. But I can't stop watching it, it's like watching a car wreck.
I have recently switched from drinking Chardonnay to drinking either Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio. I claim that it's because I "just don't have a taste for Chardonnay any more". But this is a lie. It's because Jimmy hates both Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Grigio, and if I buy a bottle, I get to have it ALL TO MYSELF.
I often go into the shower and take long "steams". Ostensibly, this is because the steam "helps my sinus problems". While this is true, it's not the reason for my "steams". It's because I can go in the bathroom, turn the water on, get in the shower and be totally, blissfully, alone for at least 30 minutes. No one tries to come in because I tell them that if they open the door, the "steam will escape". And the steam is, you know, medicinal. It's amazingly peaceful in there.
I am now Facebook "friends" with almost every single man I've ever dated in my life.
Often, at church during a long-winded homily (that's Catholic for sermon) I'll pretend to be looking for something inside my rather enormous purse. But really, I'm either sending a text, surfing the web, or writing down a blog idea on my iPhone.
I seldom shampoo my hair anymore. I wash it with hot water, but I only actually lather it up with shampoo about once every two weeks. I've found that this keeps it from getting frizzy. And it doesn't ever really look dirty. But I realize that most people would consider this...icky.
Very often, if someone Instant Messages me, and I'm either in the middle of something, or just don't feel like chatting with them, I'll just ignore it, and then later tell them that I had left the computer on and walked away, and only realized that they'd sent me a message MUCH later.
I am, possibly the worst pet sitter on the planet. Once, our neighbor asked me to feed her weird cat, Ne Ne (or was it Nee Nee? or Ni Ni? - I don't know, who the hell names a cat Ne Ne anyway?) for a week. She left town, and about 6 days later, I remembered that I hadn't fed the cat. Ever. Not once. I rushed over, and amazingly, weird little Ne Ne was fine. Except that she'd pooped everywhere, which I had to clean up, but I figure that was my penance for starving the cat. And then, about a year later, another neighbor asked me to feed her fish, and I did the exact same thing. Miraculously, the fish survived too. It was probably eating its own poop or something.
About half the time, when I tell Jude that "Mama needs to go do some work on the computer", what I really need to go do is play games on Facebook.
Whew. I feel much better now. It's so good to get all that off my chest. Can y'all grant me absolution?