Looking at all the Black Friday advertising from Target last week reminded me of a story. A very naughty story, that happened to a friend of mine a few years ago. And because it is so very juicy and naughty, I thought I might share it with you all.
Some friends of mine, we'll call them...Susan and David, were, at the time, in a rather unhappy marriage. Really pretty turbulent. In fact, they had gotten married, divorced, and then remarried. Clearly, these two were gluttons for punishment, and never learned from their mistakes. After their remarriage, they had two children. I know...don't get me started. But soon after the births of their darling children, their problems reared their ugly heads again, and they were both behaving...rather badly, shall we say. Susan had finally decided that she was fed up with David and wanted out, and began having an elicit affair with an equally married co-worker. I told you this was juicy.
David, apparently, was suspicious of her activities, but couldn't prove anything, and she was trying to keep her affair undetected until after the custody issues were settled.
Susan's job involved quite a bit of travel, and it just so happened that the man she was having an affair with, we'll call him...Francesco, worked for the same company and often traveled with her on business trips. Lucky them. So one day, before a "business trip" to Italy, she ran by the Target to pick up a few things for her trip. She then packed and went off on her jolly, and unsuspecting way to Italy and her assignation with Francesco.
Meanwhile, David had grown more and more suspicious, and started doing a little snooping. The two of them shared a Visa card, and he called Visa and found out that she had purchased items at Target before the trip. He then, rather cleverly, went to the customer service desk at Target and did some detective work. The Target folks were ever so helpful. He told them that his wife had made some purchases on their Visa card, and had lost the receipt, which she desperately needed for a tax write off. Could they help him out by giving him a copy of it? Why of course, sir! He handed them the Visa, and Target handed him an itemized print out of everything Susan had purchased for her trip.
When Susan returned from Italy, David confronted her with the receipt and the whole unseemly mess exploded.
What, you ask, were the items on the Target receipt that tipped him off? Condoms and a large bottle of KY Warming Personal Lubricant.
So...don't say I didn't warn you.